Risk
by The Pirate Gypsy
Summary: The CIA pride themselves on having perfect control over their employees. Unfortunately for them, no one can see what goes on behind closed doors, or so Sands and Charlie hope. Meanwhile, a serial killer abducting women all over the city might have a connection to the two that will be more dangerous than they or the CIA could have ever imagined. Sequel to Rigging The Game.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

She had not expected her night to go this way.

She never did this, never, but he had been so handsome and seemed like such a nice guy and she was on the rebound. When he asked her if she wanted a ride home instead of taking a cab by herself, she said yes if only to see him for a little longer and when he suggested they go back to his place, she found herself agreeing, deciding to act wild for once. She'd never had a one night stand before but maybe, if it went well, she'd see him again. She loved the way her played with her blonde locks and his hands stroked her skin softly. It was turning out to be a great night for her, one she hadn't been expecting to have.

Then things got rougher.

By the time morning came, she wished she had never gone home with him, that she'd turned him down.

"Please, just let me go home! I won't tell anyone, I swear!"

"You see, Charlie, this is what happens when you go off and fuck someone you don't know."

She frowned up at him. "My name is Tara."

"It makes things easier when I call you by her name."

"Makes what easier? Who's name?" Tara cried. She looked around dank basement he was locking her into. "Please don't do this. Please!"

"See you later, babe."

He closed the door and locked it, leaving her in darkness.

* * *

_I hate this._

Charlie looked around the event, not wanting to talk to anyone at it. It was that time of year again, the time when the bosses used the excuse of annual reviews to spend as much money as possible with lavish and luxurious self-treatment. Charlie's review was tomorrow and she was dreading it. This would be the first official time when she sat in front of all the bosses and had to be read out her mistakes and try to justify them. She didn't know how to do that. To her, she hadn't made any mistakes, except maybe coming back here at all. She felt like that sometimes. She had enough money to live off so she sometimes wondered if she and Sands could have kept hiding, kept running. She knew the answer was no but the thought of it was better than reality where she was no longer allowed make her own decisions.

"Doctor Macintosh, it's good to see you."

Charlie came out of her thought process and realised she was now faced with Peter Rosenthal, the main accountant and Waitrose's right hand man, seeing as she was in charge of signing off on financing, which money should go where. Charlie always had to make it a point to be nice to him, especially when she could never do it with Waitrose, so he would decide that money should go to the medical unit. This year though, she didn't want to be bothered. She realised she was being watched carefully though, to make sure she played her part right. Besides, if she didn't get all the money she had appealed for, it would make her job harder than it already was.

"Mister Rosenthal, it's good to see you again."

She could practically feel Trevor leave out a sigh of relief at the other end of the room.

"Might I say, you're looking even better than last year." Rosenthal said. "I didn't think that was possible."

"Well, I was hoping to see you again so I had to make the effort." She smiled, hating herself. She didn't like that she was good at this.

"Oh, you madam, are trying to get into my good books." He was smirking nonetheless.

"I would hope I'm already in there." She replied.

"You are." He winked though in a friendly and not in a sleazy way which Charlie was thankful for. She would have punched someone if the heads allowed him to harass her and made her act flirtatious while simultaneously keeping her away from the one man she did want. "Don't worry; I think you will find yourself not wanting this year."

"Thank you." Charlie nodded. "I only ask for what I think the hospital actually needs, not just what I think I can get out of…"

"Come now, no talk of work tonight. We come here to get away from that."

"I'm sorry, I guess you're right."

"Although," He smirked, leaning in close to her. "If you are feeling up to it, I could always use a thorough examination up in my room, doctor."

Trevor hurried after Charlie as she stormed out of the ballroom.

"Where do you think you're going?" He called after her.

"Up to my room." She replied shortly.

"The night's not over."

"My night is, thank God."

"Charlie, that man can make life very difficult for you."

"Then you and he will get along."

"Stop," He said, grabbing her arm and making her turn to him. "It's one night where you have to act like you like what you do."

"One night? Oh no, it's every night. Every night since you fucking forced me to come back. This night is just worse than the others."

"Would you please just…?"

"What? Get over it? Pretend it never happened?" She frowned. "Someone in your agency tried to kill me and I'm the one who got punished."

"You broke the rules."

"I didn't work for you!"

Trevor huffed. "Why can't you get that we had to do what we did? Sands…"

"Yeah, I know. You need him and you need him on his own."

"If we let you two stay together, he would have…"

"What? Finally given a fuck about something? Stopped risking his life? No, couldn't have that. He's only useful to you when he doesn't give a fuck if he lives or dies as long as he gets the job done."

"If Sands cares about you…"

"He did care."

"…Then he'll still be careful on missions from now on."

"Oh, really?" Charlie asked. "Because he has so much to come home to? We don't even see each other from day to day anymore. You relocated me to the other end of the building to make sure we wouldn't."

Trevor sighed. "I know you're worried…"

"Worried about what? I'm not allowed be worried about anything, remember?"

"Charlie, it's not unusual to lose contact with an agent for a few days when they go on a mission. They go undercover; they can't get to a phone…"

"They're lying dead somewhere." She threw in.

Trevor looked at her, seeing her upset. "You want to finish your night now? Fine but you're not doing yourself any favours."

"Well, no one else did me any so it won't be unusual to me."

Charlie turned, going to the elevator. She got to her floor, still feeling miserable about the night and went to her room. She gasped in fright as the second she opened her door, she was pulled into the pitch black room and pushed up against the wall. She was breathing heavily with fear but it subsided when she realised who it was by the kiss that followed.

She put her hand against the wall and grasped for the light. When she found the switch and turned the lights on, the passionate kiss parted but Sands still wouldn't let her leave his arms that were wrapped tightly around her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked breathlessly, now out of passion instead of fear.

"I got home early." He smirked. "Decided to come see you."

"I thought you weren't meant to be back until tomorrow? And in Virginia?"

"I got into Virginia this morning and flew out here. We only get a few days together before the bosses know I'm back, I'd rather not waste them waiting for you to get back from here."

"Do they still think you're coming back on Saturday?"

"As far as I know. Last time we talked, that was the plan. Well, their plan. Now instead of three secret, lust-filled days, we get four. You could act a little happier about this."

Charlie smiled and kissed him. She still had her smile when the kiss parted. "I'm so glad you're home. And safe. Speaking of which," Her smile dropped and she slapped him on the chest. "Why haven't you called me? I've been going out of my mind with worry for two weeks!"

"Okay, first of all, ow." Sands said, rubbing his chest. "Second of all, I told you already that I can't always call you."

"You couldn't call the agency either?"

"No. I was a little tied up, sometimes literally, but as you can see, I am here and I am fine."

"Good." She said, her hands on his shoulders. She smirked. "Where's my present?"

"Sugar, I'm been back in the country after two months and that's what you're worried about?"

"It's better than being worried about the alternative. It's hard enough pretending I can't be with you, I hate experiencing the real thing, especially when you don't call."

Sands smirked, stroking her hair behind her ear. "Sugar, I gotta admit, the sexy talk could be a little less depressing." He said, trying to lighten the mood.

Charlie smiled. "Hey, you're the one who stopped kissing me."

"I'll be sure to not make that mistake again."

Sands kissed her again, but he knew it was the same for him. He was just as worried about her when he went on missions. What if the CIA found out about their affair when he was gone and they only had her to take it out on? What if her ex showed up again? He had been absent from their lives for ten months, missing since that night in the warehouse but Sands could feel it wasn't over. He knew Barry was going to come back eventually, looking for revenge. What if that time came when she was alone one night and Sands was on the other side of the world?

This time when the kiss parted, Sands turned her so her back was facing him as his lips went to her neck, unzipping her dress slowly and letting it fall to the ground, revealing the black satin slip she was wearing underneath, before turning her roughly again. He kissed her and held her against the wall, their bodies pressing close together, not a sliver between them.

"Not even foreplay?" He smirked as she began unbuttoning his shirt, his forehead leaning against hers.

"I really don't care." She said, taking the shirt off and going to his belt buckle.

Sands chuckled. "I missed you, sugar."

Charlie smiled and pushed him onto the bed before climbing on top of him.

"And apparently, you missed me too." Sands smirked.

"I thought that was obvious."

Sands sat up slightly, placing his hands on her hips. "Sugar, with you, I always want you to say it."

Charlie laughed a little. "I missed you. A lot." Sands was about to reach up and kiss her but she pulled away slightly. "Uh, I just said what you wanted to hear…"

"Aw, come on, sugar."

"Please?" She pouted, knowing it would work.

Sands smirked. "You have me trained so well."

"So…?"

He huffed. "I love you."

Charlie smiled. "Was that so hard?"

"Sugar, we were about to have sex and now we're teasing each other. Believe me, everything is hard."

"Hmmm, I was wondering how long it would take for the double entendres to start flying around."

"Well if you want to shut me up, you know where my mouth is."

Charlie smiled and kissed him again.

_Four Months Ago…_

"_Fucking rain…"_

_Sands was trying to drive home but then torrential rain pelting off his windshield wasn't doing him any favours. The storm had been raging since late last night and didn't show any signs of calming down. He was trying to see out his windows when he came across an unusual sight. He didn't think it was her at first but he soon realised it was indeed Charlie walking along in the rain, an umbrella keeping her protected. He drove over and cut her off just as she was about to cross the street. He opened his passenger door._

"_Get in." He saw her hesitate. "Charlie, the rain is ruining my upholstery."_

_Charlie got into the car and Sands drove off again._

"_Thanks." She said awkwardly. _

"_Where's your car?" Sands asked._

"_In the shop. There's a problem with the transmission."_

_Sands nodded. "Right."_

_The tension was palpable. It hadn't been this bad when they didn't want anything to do with each other. Sands didn't like it at all._

"_How's Buster?"_

_Buster. Sands missed that dog. _

"_He's good." Charlie replied. She looked over at him. "I think he misses you though." _

"_Let him know the feeling is mutual."_

_Charlie smiled a little. "I will."_

_That smile. Sands has missed that smile. It held a sadness but it was still better than anything Sands could hope to see. _

_Sands stopped outside of her building and they looked at each other, trying very hard not to slip._

"_Well, thanks for the ride." She said after a few seconds of silence. Sands nodded but stopped when she unconsciously pushed her hair behind her ear, probably out of awkwardness. He had to try and conceal his smirk as he saw the Tiffany's bracelet he had given her on her wrist. He was about to comment on it but he realised if he said anything, they'd been talking about how he gave it to her and that would lead to revealing they still had feelings for each other and then things would just go further and further…_

"_Sands?" Charlie frowned. "Is there something wrong?"_

_Sands realised he was just staring at her. "No. Nothing." _

"_Oh, okay." Charlie nodded. Sands realised she had been hoping he said something else, that may be he was looking at her that way for a reason and was willing to admit it to her. "Thanks again for the ride."_

_Sands tried to work up the courage to drive away and take her back to his place. It's what he wanted to do. It's all he could think about. Instead he said, "No problem. What are co-workers for?"_

_Charlie felt a pang in her chest but before she could try and rectify it, she got out of the car and walked away. Sands sighed, placing head back against the seat. It was the closest he'd been to her in a long time. They hadn't even touched but it was like a train hit him. All those feelings were still there, still vivid. Despite his best efforts to live his life without her, he hadn't fallen out of love with her one bit._

_He looked to the side quickly when his passenger door opened and Charlie was looking at him._

"_Actually…" She said. "Maybe it'd be good for Buster to see you for himself. Wanna come up?"_

_It was a very, very bad idea and she don't know what made her do it but she had rooted in her bag for her keys, found them, put them in the lock and just as she was walking inside, noticed how he hadn't pulled away. Something jolted in her and she was walking back before she knew it._

"_Are you sure?" Sands asked._

"_Sure. It's just two co-workers…hanging out."_

_Despite the torrential rainfall, Sands' day was getting brighter._

* * *

"_Hey, buddy."_

_Charlie had to smile when Sands crouched down to rustle a very excited Buster's fur. Buster had taken to living with Charlie well since he was so familiar with her too but she could see an excitement from the dog due to Sands that she'd never be able to provoke. _

_While Sands was pouring affection on the dog, Charlie took off her jacket, hat and scarf and hung them up. She didn't turn, not knowing what was going to happen when she did. She got her answer when she felt a pair of hands on her waist and lips on her neck. Instead of telling him to stop, Charlie careened her head so he had better access to her neck. She felt Sands wrap his arms around her tighter as she placed both of her hands up against the wall to keep her balance since her legs weren't going to keep her up much longer._

_Sands' lips left her neck and turned her around so he could look at her. "You're sure you want this? Once we do this, there's no going back, we're risking both of our lives."_

"_I wouldn't have asked you up here if I wasn't."_

_Sands looked at her, realising he hadn't actually kissed her properly in months. He wanted to, more than anything. He'd been waiting for a long time to be able to. There was just one problem though. Him being here was risking her life. His car simply getting spotted too close to her building could be risking her life. _

"_I'm gonna go." He said. _

_She frowned at him. "What?"_

"_I have to. I don't want to but…If I thought this was a safe option; sugar, I would have done it months ago."_

_Charlie smiled sadly. "I haven't been called that in months. I missed it."_

_Sands sighed. "I have to go or otherwise I won't be able to." Charlie lowered her head to look at the floor but Sands placed a hand under her chin to lift it back up so he could look into her eyes. "But before I do, I just…I thought seeing you every day and not being able to be with you would be hard but not even seeing you is harder. I see you some days, walking to and from your office and I always have to pretend like I don't even notice you but it's nothing compared to the days when I wait and wait for you to pass by and you don't. Every time I see you, I just wanna let you know I'm still in love with you. So I'm gonna do that now while I get the chance. I am."_

_Charlie's heart was breaking. She had never, for as long as she'd known him, expected to hear anything like this from Sands. The thought that he was hurting just as much as she was made it hurt a whole lot more._

"_I love you too."_

_Sands was still for a second, as if trying to process what she said._

"_I really have to go, sugar. Otherwise, I won't be able to."_

_He was about to pass her and go out the door but Charlie grabbed his arm, keeping him in front of her._

"_Kiss me."_

_Sands sighed. "Charlie…"_

"_Just…Kiss me." She pleaded. "I need you to kiss me. Kiss…"_

_Sands kissed her passionately, not being able to resist anymore and Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body up against his. She couldn't believe it but it felt even better than she remembered and she had remembered it quite vividly from time to time. She was sure Sands was the same if his hands running over her meant anything. _

_Sands had gotten a good look at the apartment when he walked in and had seen that it was a very long space but only one room, with red brick walls and dark brown wooden floors. There was a kitchenette along the right side, taking up half the space and ending with a counter jutting out from the wall and a stool to sit on, instead of a dinner table. There was a living space with a bookshelf, couch, armchair and television on the left side. Further up, after a step was a king sized bed, a door to the bathroom and on the right side, another couch and two sets of balcony doors. On the opposite wall was a large enough window to the fire escape. Sands had mapped it out as quickly as he did because now, he knew exactly where he was going without having to look around, his and Charlie's lips never had to part as he carried her to the bed. Well, he was planning on carrying her over to the bed. He only made it to the counter so he placed her on it before ripping off his jacket. He was about to undo the belt wrapped around her dress but realised something, looking around._

"_Where did the dog go?"_

"_The closet." Charlie shrugged. "He loves the carpet in there."_

_Sands frowned and noticed a door on the other side of the bookshelf. "Why do I have a feeling that was supposed to be the bedroom?"_

_Charlie scoffed. "I can put a bed anywhere; my clothes need their own space."_

_Sands chuckled with a shake of his head. "That is…"_

_Charlie smirked. "I didn't realise you wanted to come up here to critique my interior design."_

_Sands considered it. "Oh yeah, I don't give a fuck."_

_He kissed her again, his hands finally going to the belt and undoing it, throwing it to the floor. _

"_We're going to get in so much trouble for this…" Charlie smiled, her hands going to the buttons of his shirt._

_Sands smirked. "Only if we get caught and even then, it's worth it." They began kissing again as several items of clothing were removed. "Wait."_

_Charlie frowned. They were down to their underwear and he wanted to wait. "You're not going to try and leave again, are you?"_

"_Fuck, no." Sands grabbed her and lifted her off the counter. "Remember the last time we had sex?"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_Well, I've been pretty pissed that the last time we had sex, we were interrupted by a hotel maid so…"_

_He brought her over to the bed._

"_You want to finish what we started." Charlie smirked._

"_For too damn long."_

_Charlie straddled him and Sands looked her over. She was wearing nothing now but a purple bra and matching underwear and being able to look at her body again was something Sands could not have wanted more. It had been worse than when he was blind to not be near her because at least when he was blind, he didn't have to miss seeing her body on top of everything else too. His hands caressed her things before moving up slowly, grazing along her skin and eventually got to the clasp of her bra, his eyes never leaving hers and all levity gone now. They were risking their lives and neither of them cared. This was too good to give up._

_He undid the bra and let the straps slide down her arms. When it was off, he buried his head in her chest, kissing every inch, his hands roaming her back._

_Charlie's hands ran through his hair and she let out a content moan. "I missed your hands on me."_

_Sands couldn't believe anyone had missed it more than he had but from the way her body moved and the sounds emanating from her, Sands could tell that she was relishing in something she'd craved for a long time. He felt the same. Her nails grazing down his back sent shivers running through him. He couldn't wait anymore. _

"_Sugar, I need you now."_

_Charlie looked down at him before moving back. Sands leaned forward as Charlie reclined back on the bed, lying against the pillows of her bed. Sands settled on top of her. He smirked as his hand went her waist, slowly moving down to her underwear. "Sorry sugar but your neighbours in this building are going to hate you too because I'm planning on making a lot of noise."_

_Charlie chuckled. "I have no neighbours."_

"_Fan-fucking-tastic."_

_Charlie smiled, biting her bottom lip as her hands went to his underwear. She took them off him and lay back against the pillows again, waiting for him to do the same._

_Sands wasted no time and soon Charlie was moaning breathlessly as she finally felt him fill her again. She couldn't explain the feeling; it wasn't just pleasure but a sort of fulfilment. It was as if the CIA had taken away her free will and made her starve for them and now she was finally back in control. She was finally getting back her own life and it made her feel excited. It was much more satisfying than anything she had expected. When he began to move, Charlie cried out in pleasure. Sands seemed to get his own kind of excitement in hearing her loud groans as his thrusts got faster and his arm wrapped around her thigh, pulling it closer to him. _

_Sands wanted to pull her against him as much as he could, he wanted her to straddle him as he gripped her, he wanted her up against a wall, he wanted her on top, he wanted everything he could do with her. His heart was racing in his chest as he heard her and felt her and saw beads of sweat forming along her chest. He was feeling quite hot himself, as if a sweet fire was licking against his skin. It should have felt uncomfortable but it wasn't. He didn't know if the sounds he was making were of pain or ecstasy, it had been so long. It was almost a guttural feeling and it was building up more and more. He could feel himself closer to his peak as he'd gone so long without this and he'd wanted it and thought about it every day. He had a feeling he'd reach his breaking point very soon and he really didn't want that to happen before she'd reached hers but he didn't know if he could hold back for much longer._

"_Sugar, I hate to ruin the moment but…You close?"_

"_Yeah…So close…So…"_

_Sands quickened his thrusts, digging his fingers deeper into her skin in an attempt to keep his control while simultaneously trying to make her lose hers. He was relieved when Charlie's groans got faster and louder and more breathless, her head careening back against the pillows with her eyes closed. Sands found it even more arousing seeing her reach her climax. He kept up his pace, knowing a few more seconds and he would lose his control. When he did, he buried his head in Charlie's neck, his voice muffled but he couldn't hide his pleasure._

_Charlie looked down at him; her mouth slightly agape as her chest rose up and down quickly, getting her breath back. She could feel him digging his hands into her skin, trying to keep himself controlled and though it should have hurt, the thought that she did that to him thrilled her and even if it left her with bruises, she savoured seeing him that way. When he was done, she felt him lick the sweat from her neck before kissing along her collarbone and finally made his way to her lips. Her hands on his back went to his arms as she responded fervently to the kiss. When it parted, Sands lay his forehead against hers. _

"_I'm never giving you up again."_

_Charlie's heart raced again hearing that, she didn't think she would ever calm down. _

_Sands pressed one more kiss to her lips before getting off her, lying next to her on the bed, pulling the covers over them, the cold hitting their bodies which was surprising seeing how heated they'd been just a few seconds ago. On the plus side, he'd finally found a great way of warming up in this cold, damp weather. Charlie sighed contently and turned to lie on her stomach, her arms wrapping around her pillow. Sands was on his side and started stroking her back lightly._

_Charlie bit her lip again. "This was probably a bad idea."_

"_Don't tell me you're regretting it." Sands said._

_She smiled. "I never said that." Sands smirked and continue to gently run his hand up and down her exposed back as she lay on her stomach. "I actually wish this could last so much longer."_

_Sands shrugged. "It could."_

"_I don't see how unless everyone at the CIA has a sudden change of heart or dies. Either would be fine by me but…"_

_Sands chuckled. "I figured something out. Mexico."_

_Charlie frowned. "Yes, that is a country."_

"_No." Sands looked at her tiredly. "When we were in Mexico, what were we planning to do when we got home?"_

"_I…Be together?"_

"_Exactly but we were both working for the CIA then too. We knew we'd have to keep it a secret. Between then and now, what's changed? We'll just keep it a secret now like we were going to then."_

_Charlie propped herself up with her elbows. "But if we got found out then, we only would have gotten fired. We get found out now, we're dead."_

"_I make one wrong move working for them anyway and I'm dead. At least if this got found out, I'd go out happy."_

_Charlie raised an eyebrow. "And what about me?"_

"_We're not going to get found out."_

"_You don't know that. You can't say they're not watching us."_

"_We'll be careful."_

"_Sands…"_

"_Charlie, it's either this or spend every day working in the same building, seeing each other all the time and having to be constantly reminded that we can't do what we want or be with who we want. Or not see each other at all ever. It's that or we try and be together. Which one do you want, sugar?" _

_It didn't take her too long to figure it out._

Sands and Charlie carried on the affair and were careful not to get caught. Then, Sands was sent to Romania for a month and a half and Charlie was left alone again, worrying about him every day. He was back now though and definitely making up for lost time.

"Wow sugar…I didn't realise you missed me this much."

Charlie smiled down at him before her eyes were closed as she moved her body on top of his, writhing up and down. She couldn't believe how much she had missed this. Charlie had never missed sex in her life but she supposed she had missed Sands and in missing him, she'd missed this too.

"Oh God, Sheldon…"

Sands watched her body move, his hands scrunching the cloth of her slip in his hand, slightly regretting that he didn't take it off her. The sight of her breasts nearly spilling out of the black fabric but not enough for him to see anything undid him. His hands roamed down to where the slip ended, high up on her thighs, giving him a good glimpse of the soft skin.

Sands cursed when Charlie's phone rang. He sat up and grabbed her tightly as she looked down at him.

"Ignore it."

She nodded and her rhythmic gyrating continued.

"Sheldon…"

He reached over to the phone on the nightstand quickly and threw it across the room where it shattered off the wall, making the ringing stop.

"Are you going to break my phone every year?" She panted as he buried his head in her chest.

"Stop talking, that breathy voice of yours isn't doing me any favours."

Charlie smiled a little, pressing gently against his chest to make him lie back on the bed. She looked down at him for a few seconds before the sensations became too much and Sands watched her lose control, loud moans of pleasure escaping her lips.

"Thank fuck." He said, crashing his head back against the pillow as he allowed himself to let go. He felt his entire body tense as the feeling that he'd been waiting so long for overtook him. He held her hips tighter as his back careened.

Once Charlie's body had relaxed and she was left breathless, she placed her hands on the bed, leaning forward slightly, her chest rising and falling. Sands moved her and she lay down on the bed next to him.

"That as good as you made out or were you just trying to make my night?" He asked.

Charlie laughed. "I would have thought I just did that without having to soothe your ego too." She said, smiling mischievously before reaching over at kissing him. "Welcome home."

Sands smirked and wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing her close to him before it went around her shoulders as she laid her head on his, closing her eyes.

"You're going to sleep on me already?" Sands asked. "I'm beginning to think you only want me for the sex."

Charlie smiled with her eyes still closed. "I have to work tomorrow. After that, we can do whatever you want."

"Getting out of here would be the biggie."

"That was a given. When we came up with the idea of you getting an earlier flight home, it was so we could be together away from the bosses, not be in the same hotel as them."

"What can I say? I missed you." He said, stroking her hair off her face.

Charlie opened her eyes and looked up at him. "I missed you too. I'm glad you're here with me."

Sands reached down and kissed her, placed his hand against her cheek.

The kiss was interrupted when there was a knock on the door. Both of them froze.

"Check to see who it is." Sands said, getting up and putting on his boxers and pants. "If it's just someone who works at the hotel, we're safe."

Charlie hurried over to door and looked out the eyehole. She looked back at Sands. "It's Waitrose." She whispered, running inside to put on a robe. "I'm coming!" She called when the knocking erupted again.

Sands collected up the rest of his clothes. "Fuck. Okay, I'm going to hide in the bathroom, try and get rid of her."

Charlie finished tying her robe and passed Sands as she went to the door.

"Stop." He said, before he closed the bathroom door behind him.

"What?"

He messed up her hair. "Now, you look like you were sleeping instead of being on top."

Charlie got past him and picked up her dress on the floor, throwing it at him, hitting him in the face.

"Hide."

Sands got inside and closed the door behind him, taking her dress with him. Charlie made sure nothing looked suspicious before she opened the door to see Waitrose.

"Took you long enough." The woman said.

"I was asleep."

"Really? Bit slutty to be sleeping in, isn't it?"

Charlie looked down to see, in her hurry, she hadn't tied her robe properly and some of her slip was still showing. She looked up at Waitrose.

"I was wearing it under my dress, couldn't be bothered changing. Is there something you wanted or are you just here to annoy me?"

"Believe me, if I didn't have to be around you, I wouldn't be. Why didn't you pick up your phone?"

"I was asleep, like I said. It was on silent."

"Well, you're needed downstairs. Sawyer is asking for you."

"I told Hartford I'm done being paraded around for the night."

"I'm not Trevor so I don't care. You can't wrap me around your finger. Get dressed and get downstairs. Remember, we don't like it when you break the rules."

Charlie glared at her. "No, only you're allowed do that."

Waitrose smirked. "Listen princess, at home, you can pick up my sloppy seconds all you want but at work, I control your life, got it?"

"Sounds like someone's bitter that you didn't give him what he wanted so he had come to me. Look, I can't help it if they come looking for a better time," Charlie shrugged. "I guess men just like a newer model."

Waitrose was the one glaring now. "Get downstairs. And try not to dress like a whore. I know everyone's seen you dressed like one already but try not to have a repeat performance."

She walked away and Charlie closed her door, sighing. She walked into the bathroom, to see Sands sitting on the edge of the bath.

"Jeez, you women are so catty to each other."

"She called you sloppy seconds."

"I noticed how you didn't defend my honour."

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "Where's my dress?"

"She called you a whore too."

"A lot of people in the CIA call me a whore since those pictures got out."

Sands frowned. "Still? The guys are still giving you shit over that?"

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "You think they'd let that die? Not a chance."

Sands huffed. "When I find out who leaked those pictures, I'm going to kill him."

It didn't take long after Sands and Charlie got back to work for both of them to realise that the pictures on the phone Sands had taken off Charlie's shooter had been circulating around the offices. Charlie had started getting the wrong kinds of attention from certain agents ever since and Sands couldn't do anything about it, not even talk to her. He'd realised soon after that even though he'd confiscated the shooter's phone, someone else had taken Armisen's which more than likely had the pictures on it too. It had become a big joke in the office now about how easy their doctor was, all respect for Charlie gone and an easy way to rile Sands.

"Sands," Charlie said, bringing him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her. "My dress?"

"You're not seriously going back down, are you?"

"I have to. Waitrose is making me."

Sands picked up the dress, throwing it to her. "That bitch ruins everything."

"Funny, I bet you weren't saying that when you were having sex with her."

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Sands frowned, following Charlie out of the bathroom.

She put the dress on over her head. "Nothing, sorry. Zip me up."

"Wait, you're annoyed now and I want to know why. I didn't ask Waitrose to come up here."

"Well, she'll come up here again if I take any longer so would you please zip up my dress?"

Sands walked over and zipped up her dress. "There, now tell me."

"It's nothing, she just…She never misses an opportunity to point out that you slept with her first."

"You're mad at me over that?" He frowned.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad." She huffed.

"Don't be mad. It was before I knew you. It only happened three times after we met."

Charlie looked at him, wide eyed. "Three times? When were the other two?"

Sands looked at her. "You didn't know?"

"Know what?" She asked loudly.

"I thought you knew! When you went back to Malibu!"

"You slept with her, then? Even though you knew I hated her? And you did it twice?"

"In my defence, it was twice but only in one night."

Charlie looked like she about to cry, then kill him. "Night? Was she at your apartment? I've never stayed at your apartment. You don't let me stay at your apartment."

"No, I never brought her back to my apartment."

Charlie nodded, relieved.

"We went to hers."

"Oh God…"

"Charlie, I was trying to get over you. I thought I'd never see you again. Once it happened…"

"It happened again."

"And I didn't enjoy either time. She wasn't you. So I left and I didn't bother with her again."

Charlie looked around. "Where are my shoes?"

Sands walked over to her and took her by the arms. "Charlie, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I heard you. Fine, whatever, I need to go."

Sands huffed. "Great, you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Sands, I'm rushing."

"So when you come back up here, we're going to have sex again?"

"No."

"Ha! See, you're angry." He said.

"No, I'm trying to get down there before they come back up here."

Sands sighed. "This is bullshit."

"This is what we signed up for. We wanted to be together in secret, that means having to act like our decisions don't affect each other. It's just going downstairs for a while."

"It's going down to get felt up by horny businessmen who think you're some easy squeeze while they're away from their wives."

"Yeah and it's nothing new."

"And I hate that!" Sands said angrily. "Why won't you let…?"

"You're not doing anything!" Charlie grabbed his arm to make him look at her. "Are you listening to me? You are not doing anything. You are not supposed to care."

"Hey, I can care all I want. They can't stop me from doing that."

"But they can put a stop to you if you start getting involved. Sands, I will be fine. So a few guys get too comfortable, I am a big girl. I can handle it." She said, trying to calm him down. He'd often gotten quite angry over what had been happening to her, especially seeing as no one was doing anything to put a stop to it.

"You shouldn't have to." Sands fumed. "And yet, you won't report it."

"Look, none of the guys in work have actually put their hands on me. It's just jokes, a few snide comments to get a rise out of you because they know by now that I couldn't give a fuck about what they say." Charlie shrugged. "If I go running to one of the bosses, all of a sudden, I'm a little snitch who can't take a joke. It'll just get worse. Besides, I can't hate my job and hate my bosses and then go running to them, asking for their help."

"They forced you to work for them, now they have to realise that making you their employee means having to help you do your job the best they can."

"And my pride takes a hit because I have to run to them with my tail between my legs. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it. The only perk is you're lying in it too. If that means I have to put up with a bit of difficulty at work, then fine. I'll deal with it whether you want me to or not."

Sands sighed. "I just don't like you being treated like that, can you blame me?"

Charlie placed her hand against his cheek. "I know. But if it means I get to be with you then it's worth it." Sands didn't reply and wouldn't make eye contact though Charlie tried. "I love you."

Sands didn't say it back but pressed his lips against hers. Charlie let the kiss go on but soon had to pull away.

"I'll be back soon."

"You better be."

Charlie smiled slightly as she went to leave the room.

"Charlie?"

She turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Shoes?"

She looked down at her bare feet. "Oh…"

She grabbed her shoes and put them on quickly. "What would I do without you?" She said, kissing him lightly before leaving again.

Sands sighed and walked over to the end of the bed, sitting on it. His mind went to a thought it frequently visited.

_How am I going to keep her without anyone ever finding out?_

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the start of the sequel! **

**If you're interested in seeing Charlie's green dress that Sands first sees her in, the white dress she gets shot in or the bracelet he gives her, they're on a tumblr I set up for these kinds of things. I'm not asking anyone to follow it, there's no tags on it or anything. It's just if people are interested in those kinds of things!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Sands woke up alone in the bed like always. He didn't like it. He was used to being the one sneaking from the bed.

He opened his eyes to see Charlie in an office dress, and checking her make up in the mirror.

"You look good, sugar. You know, all the way over there instead of over here."

She turned to him with a smile. "I wanted to leave you sleep. I have to go to my meeting."

"Good luck with that."

"Luck? I'll need a miracle but at least I know I'm not getting fired." She sighed. "When I get back, we can go."

"I'll sneak out and you can call me when you're done and we can get the hell out of here?"

"Sounds good to me." She smiled. "As long as no one sees you."

"Sugar, I'm a master of disguise."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you talking about that God awful fake moustache?"

Sands was silent for a few seconds. "No…"

Charlie smiled and walked over, kissing him lightly. "I'll see you later."

"You'll be fine, what's the worst they can do now?" He shrugged.

Charlie sighed and walked out the door, leaving Sands on his own again. She went straight for the boardroom, wanting to get this over as soon as possible. She waited outside but could hear the bosses talking on the other side of the door. As the conversation went on, Charlie realised that she shouldn't have been hearing any of what was said but now it was too late.

"Shit…"

* * *

"A diner, really?"

"Where else were we supposed to meet?" Sands shrugged. He noticed she'd changed out of her black office dress to a more casual looking long, nude tank vest top with a black blazer over it and jeans and heeled boots. No one would have recognised her as Doctor Charlotte Macintosh without a second glance which is exactly what they needed. "It's nowhere near the hotel or the golf course which is where I'm sure everyone fucked off to. How did the meeting go?"

Charlie sat down across from him. "As I expected. They grilled me over you and I pointed out that not only was I not working for them when we got together…"

"Technically you were the first time."

"You sound like Trevor, anyway I also pointed out that many people break that rule, not naming names but they know who I'm talking about…"

"Themselves?"

"…And that we're the only ones that got punished."

"What did they say to that?"

"That the penalty for breaking that rule is losing your job and since we both have our jobs, I didn't have a leg to stand on with that argument."

"They have a point."

"They just had to put a stop to the rule breaking, so…" She shrugged. "In terms of my actual job, everything went fine."

"Get all the money you applied for?"

"Barely. Waitrose wanted to cut it down by a quarter and her little man-bitch Rosenthal agreed because I told him he could go fuck himself last night but once I went over what money went where and everyone decided that I wasn't padding out the amount for my own benefit, they had to agree to my application."

Sands nodded. "So, all in all, a good turnout."

"As good as can be expected." Charlie replied. She was surprised when a waitress put a plate of pancakes in front of her and waffles in front of Sands. "You ordered for me?"

"You always get the same thing for breakfast."

"Yeah, but I just…Didn't think you'd do something like that."

"Did I break some rule?" He frowned, not understanding the big deal.

"No," She said. She couldn't understand why this was a big deal either but for some reason, it was to her. She supposed she just wasn't used to it from anyone at all. "I just thought you'd want to leave as quickly as possible."

He shrugged. "I'm hungry and I guessed you'd be too."

He was right. "Okay, then. I also found something else out at my meeting. Something I wasn't supposed to hear." She said, picking up a fork and beginning to eat.

"What?" Sands was intrigued now.

"Crowley's retiring."

Sands frowned. "What? How do you know that?"

"I overheard them talking about it before my meeting." Sands found it hard to pay attention when she poured syrup onto her food, getting some on the pad of her thumb which she put to her mouth and licked off unconsciously. "He's retiring in two months." She frowned when he seemed to be staring at her which made him snap out of his weird daze. Her doing the simplest things made Sands feel weird and he could never get over why. "That means…"

"One of the bosses is going to get promoted to his position." He finished.

"And that means someone has to take one of their place too. One of you guys."

Sands raised an eyebrow at her. "Sugar, with my record, I don't think I'm getting the job."

"I know that. What I'm saying is one of those guys, one of the people we hate, could become your boss."

Sands realised that. "Fuck. Wait, just my boss? Not yours?"

"Well technically, no. Do you still not know how that chain of command works?" She frowned.

"I haven't ever really thought to care."

Charlie sighed. "Okay, there's Crowley, he's the main guy."

"That I knew."

"He's the most senior of the bosses, though he still has bosses but I'm not going to get into that because we'd be here all day. So, Crowley's on top as far as we're concerned." She said. "Then Waitrose is in charge of the finance department so she decides what money goes where, how much allowance an agent is entitled to on a mission…"

"I thought they all decided that."

"They do but she signs off on it. She works with the accountants who do out the financial plans and then she overlooks their plans which is why you have to be nice to accountants. They can give her reasons why, say, the medical department needs a few million or why not. They do the work; they just need her okay and her signature. Then, there's Trevor…"

"He's our boss."

"He's your boss." Charlie clarified which made Sands frown. "Trevor's not technically my boss."

"He's not?" Now Sands was confused. "Then how can he tell you what to do?"

"He doesn't, not really."

"He told you to stay away from me."

"He got sent to Turkey to deal with an agent and got an order from the higher ups I'm not getting into. He just passed along the message to me as a warning that I was going to get offered my job back and say yes. We might be angry at him but he was doing me a favour there, making sure I was prepared."

Sands was learning a lot today. "Okay…"

"So Trevor's your boss. He decides what agent goes where and for what reason. He briefs you all on your missions and organises where you stay and how you get there."

Sands frowned. "What did Armisen do?"

"Archiving, computer filing and information gathering."

"Explains how he got away with no one knowing he had a psycho as his kid."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "He would be in charge of employee files and keeping records on your different missions, who you were tracking and stuff. Every brief you'd get about your target before your mission would be what he got you."

Sands had another question. "So who's your boss?"

"Crowley, mainly but without all of those guys, I couldn't do my job. I need Waitrose to supply the medical wing with funds, I needed Armisen to give me medical histories and such and I needed Crowley's permission to do certain things like go out to Mexico to help you."

"If your boss is Crowley and their boss is Crowley, why don't you sit on the other side of the table in meetings instead of being interviewed?"

"I do for some of them. When they interview medical staff, I sit on the other side of the table. But why would I be on the boss's panel when they're interviewing agents? I'm not needed there like the rest are. I don't need to be there to see why a certain agent is overspending their budget or whatever."

"But why do they interview you?"

"They interview all of them. Waitrose gets interviewed about her decisions about where to spend how much money, Hartford gets interviewed about what agents he's using to send where, Crowley gets interviewed by his bosses."

"Wait, so Waitrose interviews Trevor?"

Charlie nodded.

"And the other way around?"

"Sands, the only way to insure that everyone in the CIA does the job to the best of their ability is to make sure that no one can trust anyone they work with, one hundred per cent. If Waitrose did something against the CIA's policy, like start embezzling money and Trevor found out and he didn't report her, he'd get fired. They all have to keep an eye on each other which means all of them have to stay on their toes."

"Jesus…" Sands said. "Why did I never bother to take an interest in this stuff? This is amazing."

"Not when we break the rules…Like right now."

Sands thought about it. "Man, we really are fucked if we're found out. Which doesn't help with Crowley out of the picture and someone who hates us taking his place."

"I know." She said sadly. "Besides, I liked Crowley. He never got involved in the drama, he really just didn't care."

"Maybe Trevor will get the job." Sands shrugged. "That'd be okay."

"Or it could be Waitrose and there's my life shot to shit." Charlie grimaced. "It's already hard enough she controls one aspect of my job, I couldn't deal if she ruled everything."

"And she'd relish in making sure we were never together."

"I guess we're just going to have to wait and see." She shrugged.

"Maybe they won't get anyone. They still haven't found a replacement for Armisen."

"Because how can you replace someone who knew anything and everything about the agency? That man was like a CIA computer. You can't just promote someone to knowing all the stuff. The fact that Armisen was invaluable makes it even more unnerving that they killed him." She sighed.

"Because we're not?"

"Apparently, you are." She replied. "They're doing all this because they don't want to lose you as an agent."

"They could just keep me as an agent and let me be with you."

"Oh, yeah? And what about if I get sick? You're going to stall a mission to take care of me? What if I get pregnant? You're going to ask for time off in case I go into labour?"

Sands frowned. "I thought you couldn't…"

"I can't but they don't know that."

"They don't?"

Charlie shook her head. "And this is what they're thinking; living together, marriage, a real life. The longer we're together and the more evolved our relationship, the less you're going to want to leave and risk your life." Charlie shrugged.

"Which is bullshit. I always work very hard on missions to make sure my life is the only one I'm not risking."

"Except when I was involved then you were willing to kill anyone and willing to risk your own life."

Sands huffed, knowing she was right. "You ready to go?"

Charlie nodded. "I just want to get home." Sands got up to pay but Charlie stopped him. "I can get this."

"I'm not doing this again."

"Well, if you just…"

"No, I'm not having a reprisal of the pizza fight…or the Chinese fight, the general food fight. No more fighting when we have to pay for food, especially seeing as neither of us can cook."

"You never let me pay."

"For the last time, it is not a control thing and no, I am not bitter about how much money you have so I feel I need to prove a point." Sands said, rattling off his answers to the insecurities he knew she had. "I don't care if you have two dollars or two billion dollars. I pay because we always use your place. It's fair. Plus, I don't want a woman paying for me."

Charlie glowered at him. "Which is just sexist."

"I don't care."

"You should."

"Well, I don't." He shrugged. "Now can I please go pay so we can get out of here?"

"But…"

"It's like ten dollars. Get over it."

"I just…"

"Charlie."

"Fine."

* * *

"So glad to be home."

Charlie took off her jacket and boots and collapsed onto her bed, closing her eyes.

"Eh, sugar?" Sands frowned, bringing her suitcase and his bag inside. "I'm still here."

"I know that."

"Then don't go to sleep."

"I'm tired."

"You could have slept on the plane."

"Oh, really? Even with Mr 'Wanna join the Mile High Club' nattering in my ear every ten minutes?"

"You're going to appreciate that membership, sugar." He smirked.

"I'm sure I will. Now though, half an hour of shut eye will do me."

Sands walked over to her. "Come on, sugar…"

"How are you not exhausted?" She frowned. "You came home yesterday and you've already flown between states twice, not to mention the activities in between."

"I slept last night."

"Unlike me."

"I suppose saying 'No one made you stay down there until four in the morning' would be a lie?"

"Kinda."

Sands sighed. "Fine. I'm going to go for a shower then I'm waking you."

"You're an angel." Charlie said sarcastically, taking off her jeans so she was more comfortable in just her long vest top and black briefs.

Sands walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and let her be. He went for his shower and realised after he came out that it had begun to rain heavily. He also saw that Charlie was still asleep but didn't wake her like he said he would. Even he could understand that she must have been exhausted. He didn't have to deal with half the stuff she did at work. He just waited to be called on for a mission and then off he went to do what he liked. He never had to have meetings or even deal with anyone else. In reality, his end of the bargain with the CIA was quite sweet in that he still had his job. He had lost his office and had to work down on the floor with most of the other agents who hadn't gotten that raise and he still had to have a partner but that was easy enough to ignore. After the plane trip to the country, Sands just went and did his own thing, never cluing his partner in and more often than not, leaving the other agent in the country when he was done. He was pretty sure Watkins had no idea he was even back in America. He was probably scouring Romania right now, looking for Sands to find out what was going on.

Sands walked over to the chest of drawers Charlie had up against her wall. It was filled with his clothes and other things for when he was there and had to go to work the next morning. He could spend the night with her and still make it seem like he went home. Once he had gotten changed, he looked over to see Charlie still asleep so he opened the window by the fire escape and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and taking a drag.

"What did I say about smoking in this apartment?"

Sands couldn't help but smirk. He could never once get it passed her. "Come on sugar, it's just one."

"Smoke out in the balcony or don't smoke at all."

He turned back to see her eyes open but she was still lying on her side, facing him. "It's raining."

"If you're worried about getting wet then you can wait until it stops."

"But I have an addiction."

"Then you never should have started. You knew what would happen and now you must face the consequences. Outside or no smoking."

"It would be so much easier if you were a smoker." Sands sighed. "Wanna take it up?"

"Sands!"

Sands huffed. "Fine." He was about to put it out. "Even though I'm by the window so no smoke is getting in?"

"You know I don't like to kiss you after you've had one.""

Sands smirked and put out the cigarette. "Cigarette Nazi."

"Hey, I'm not asking you to give them up, just not to smoke in my apartment. If you want to go to your place…"

"I'll just settle for going outside." He said before walking over to the bed. He lay down and Charlie rested her head on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, the other going behind his head. He felt as she unconsciously placed her leg across both of his.

"Why don't you ever want me in your place?" She asked.

"It's not just you, it's anyone."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's my place. I like being there alone." Sands shrugged. "Why? Do you want to go there?"

Charlie thought about it. "I'm okay with staying here."

Sands began stroking her arm lightly. "I think I prefer it here anyway."

"Really?"

It was one of the topics the two never really spoke about. If they were a normal couple, they'd probably live together here but they could never do that. This was as far as their relationship could go. Sands had always figured he'd be perfectly fine with that. He'd even explained to her that he wanted no more than what they had but every so often when he'd get back home, he realised it was dull and boring to just sit around and not have her to talk to or Buster to play with. He didn't like it either. He didn't like that both of them had changed him but he couldn't help it. Although sometimes he appreciated being alone. He liked the solitude. He just didn't like it all the time anymore. He blamed her completely and didn't feel bitter against her, just himself. He felt like he let himself down somehow but looking down at her, his emotions stayed mixed. He was glad he found her and had gotten her to love him back but he hated that he didn't have the power to control his own emotions anymore.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned, looking up at him. "Are you alright?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Uh…"

The two were interrupted when Charlie's house phone went off. Sands sighed, knowing if it was her house phone; it was someone from her family. They'd been more than happy when she was found and even happier when her and Sands had broken up. Now they didn't know they were back together like nobody else did. Instead of seeming frustrated, he felt Charlie tense under his arm. He realised she was thinking it could be her father.

After she got back, he'd called her and called her, obviously worried about her seeing as it was the second time in under a year she'd gone missing, so she changed her number. Then he'd gotten her new number and started calling. She would keep changing her number and he'd keep calling. Sometimes Sands was there and sometimes he'd heard the messages left and watched as Charlie immediately deleted them but she never picked up the phone and Sands had learned to stop asking why. He wasn't willing to fight about it anymore. It was the one fight she'd always see out until he gave up. She was too stubborn for Sands to argue with about this issue. Still, the story there always had Sands going insane with curiosity. He'd researched every known lead he could think of but never got an answer.

Charlie looked over and saw the number and when it wasn't her father's, she picked up her phone before resuming her position under Sands' arm.

"Hello?" She said before frowning. "No, sorry…I broke my cell phone…Dropped it…Now? But I…How big of an emergency?"

Sands felt dread bubble inside him. She wasn't leaving. He wouldn't let her. If she left now, they could kiss their time together goodbye and Sands knew when the bosses saw him back, he'd be sent right back out of the country again. He needed these few days and so did she.

"I…Fine. I'll be right there." She huffed before hanging up her phone and getting off the bed.

"No." Sands got up too. "Charlie, no."

"I have to go in." She put back on her jeans.

"No, you don't! You took the day off, that means you don't have to go in."

"They need me in there."

"Didn't you ask for this time off two months ago?" Sands raised an eyebrow. That was when they came up with the idea.

"Yes but I'll only be an hour, two at most. Look, while I'm gone, why don't you go get Buster and bring him home?"

"Where is he?"

Charlie fished the card out of her drawer and handed it to him. "There. Go, pick him up and by the time you're back, I'll be on my way home."

"Doggy Day Care?" Sands read. "Really?"

"Hey, to keep Buster there for three days cost more than a month's rent in my old apartment. The dog is fine."

"They didn't do anything to hurt him, did they? Like put him in dog clothes?"

"The dog is fine!" She pressed. She put on her boots and blazer. "I'll be back soon."

"Not before I am, I bet." He muttered.

Charlie tried to refrain from apologising. This wasn't her fault, she didn't want to leave and he had to stop being so put out whenever her job called on her. That was a lesson he'd have to learn, no matter where she worked. "I'll see you later."

She left the apartment and took the elevator down to the parking garage where her car was parked.

Once she'd driven to work, she met with Melissa.

"What happened?" She asked the woman.

"I need you to do me a favour."

Charlie was less than pleased. "Wait, you told me that I needed to come down here straight away on my day off because you need a favour?"

"Charlie, it's a serious problem."

Charlie frowned. "What is it?"

* * *

"_Our top story today, police are investigating foul play after another local woman, Tara Greene, went missing in the early hours of the morning. Greene, shown here, was last seen yesterday by her roommate who, when she failed to come home, called the police…"_

Sands' attention was taken when Charlie walked in the door. "Another one?"

She seemed to not even hear him, wrapped up in her own thoughts. She looked up. "Huh? What?"

"You okay?" He frowned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said though he didn't really believe her. "Uh, what did you ask me?"

"Another girl is missing?"

"Oh, really? I didn't know."

"How many is that?"

"Seven women in the last three months." She thought back.

"Man, that guy is keeping busy."

Charlie frowned. "Seven women are missing, presumed dead."

"I'm just saying."

Charlie didn't reply but put down her handbag on the counter and sat down on the stool. Sands turned off the television and walked over, sitting on the other side of the counter.

"Okay, what's up? Did something happen at work?"

Charlie nodded.

"What?"

"Doctor-patient confidentiality, remember?"

"Cause I'm going to tell everyone you told me?"

Charlie sighed. "Melissa is pregnant. That's why I was in there. She wanted me to do an exam, make sure."

That surprised Sands. "She is?"

"Yup." She looked up at him.

"Hey sugar, you should know it's not mine. I've been busy with you."

Charlie shook her head. "No, I know that. What I'm thinking is that it's got to be someone at the CIA's."

"Did she have anyone in mind?"

"A few names popped up."

"A few?"

"Trevor's was one of them."

Sands grimaced. "His wife won't like that."

"No, she won't. I know it has nothing to do with us but this will cause us some problems."

"How?"

"A pregnancy resulting from an inter-office affair? They're going to crack down so hard on everyone now; we're going to have to be extra careful. They tried to make an example out of us and it didn't work."

"Yeah, so they'll realise we're not the only ones doing it and that the rule doesn't work."

"Or they'll make Melissa and the father an example for us. If we hadn't already been together and this had happened, what would have been your first train of thought?"

Sands realised. "That the rule doesn't work."

"And?"

"And I'd be right over here." He said before sighing. "They're going to be watching us like a hawk now, aren't they?"

"Like I said this morning, they don't want you considering anything about me."

"Fuck."

"Unless Melissa lies about the potential fathers of her baby and claims it has nothing to do with the agency, we're screwed."

"If it is Trevor's though, surely they don't have a leg to stand on." Sands said. "If a boss got her pregnant then they have no right stopping us from being together."

"Sands, they threatened me if I didn't take my job back. Safe to say, they don't give a shit."

Sands thought about it. "Should I go?"

"I wish you wouldn't." Charlie replied miserably.

Sands took her hand that was on the counter. "Look, we're no worse off than we were before. We just have to be a bit more careful now. Maybe go to hotels instead of here and not spend entire nights together."

"Jesus, even less time together in our little time together." She ran her hand through her hair. "What are we doing?"

"The best we can?" He shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "Don't get upset over this, sugar."

"It's just…Is this it for the rest of our lives? Sneaking around? Never being able to go out together in public? Never moving forward?"

"How much further do you want to move?" Sands asked.

"I'm not talking about marriage or anything, I don't want it just as much as you don't but it'd be nice if we could go out to dinner or drive home from work together or even just take Buster for a walk together instead of just meeting up in private, having sex, not seeing each other for another few days and then trying to pretend like that's fine." She saw his face. "Not that I don't enjoy the sex, I just wish we could do more. I mean, if we can't even meet at my apartment anymore, that's definitely all we'll be doing."

"Is that so bad?" Sands asked. "Meeting up to talk and have sex and be together without everyone else butting in?"

"How long before that's not enough?" She replied. "What if you get bored?"

"What if you get bored?" He threw back. "We have to depend on each other not to do that, sugar."

Charlie sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just…Tired and annoyed and the thought that probably nothing will happen to whoever knocked Melissa up is grating on me."

She got up and walked over to the bed and Sands joined her. He lay down behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist. Charlie closed her eyes when he began kissing her neck softly. The hand wrapped around her slipped under her top, his fingers splaying across her stomach.

"Want to get back out of those jeans?" He whispered into her ear.

Charlie nodded and turned to face him so he could kiss her properly. Sands realised she wasn't in a playful mood but was still upset and it was his job to cheer her up. This was going to be one of the times when things went slow and he had to prove that he loved her, not just having sex with her. He undid her jeans and she wriggled out of them, letting them fall off the side of the bed while she undid his shirt and took it off him.

Charlie was lost in the moment but Sands was internally torturing himself as he tried to build up to saying the three little words he sometimes physically couldn't say.

_Say it. She wants to hear it._

_I can't. Can't do it. _

_Say it._

_I hate this. I hate this. I hate this._

_It's true but I hate having to say it._

"I…" Sands murmured against her neck.

"What?" Charlie frowned. Had he just said something?

Sands got up quickly and yanked her top over her head, throwing it to the floor and kissing her passionately. He pushed her back, grabbing onto her waist.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned as his lips assaulted her. He'd gotten quite fervent all of a sudden.

_Relax. Stop being chicken shit. _He thought. _She gets that you don't say it. She wants you to but she gets that you don't say it which is one of the reasons you do._

Sands calmed down his ministrations and his hands on her took a gentler grip than before. He didn't want to leave bruises again. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, taking it off her.

_Say it. Just say it. _

He took her face in his hand, caressing her cheek. He looked down into her eyes, knowing he felt it but couldn't get it out.

"You don't have to say it." Charlie smiled a little. "It's okay."

Sands was surprised she even realised. "It is?"

"Yeah, it's not like I don't know you do." She said. "And I know it's hard for you to say so…"

"I love you."

Now Charlie was surprised. "I love you too."

Sands didn't understand why it was so hard to say and he didn't understand why Charlie was okay with that. He was actively trying not to tell her he loved her.

"Oh hey, I forgot to give you your present." Sands smirked. He reached across her and down to her side of the bed, pulling something out of his bag. He brought it up and let the deep purple pashmina with gold sequin detail traipse across her body so it covered her chest.

"It's beautiful." She smiled.

"Yes it is." He agreed, looking down at her. It was extremely sensuous for him to see her covered as the scarf was a sheer fabric so he could slightly see her through it. It made him extremely heady. By the look of her chest rising and falling, she found the eroticism in the simple action too. "Are you going to wear it to work?"

"Not this way." She joked.

"Sugar…"

"Definitely."

* * *

"Welcome back."

"Somehow I doubt you mean that."

Trevor looked at Sands tiredly as he sat down. He lifted a folder off the desk. "Your new mission."

"Where am I going this time?" Sands asked, dreading the answer.

"Nowhere. You're staying right here."

This made him confused. "Really? I've been brushing up on my rules lately since you seem to be oh so strict on them and as I recall, we're not allowed carry out surveillance on American citizens."

"You're not carrying out surveillance on American citizens. You're going to carry out surveillance on someone who's in the country, working with American citizens. Harish Sharma is dealing in silks on the outside with American investors but we're convinced he's dealing in something else and we want you to figure out what."

Sands took the file and looked it over. He froze when he came across a certain name before throwing the file back onto the desk.

"Absolutely not."

"You don't have a choice."

"I'm not doing it and you shouldn't want me to. This will cause more complications than you or I want. Give it to someone else."

"I know what I'm doing. It's going to you."

Sands' jaw tensed. "You know what you're doing? This is some sick ploy to keep me in my place?"

"It's your job, Sands. Do it."

Sands got up and went to leave the office but Trevor called him back.

"Sands? You forgot something."

Sands turned to see Trevor holding up the folder. He walked over and ripped it out of the man's hand before storming out of the office. He stopped and looked down at the names on the folder again. He couldn't believe he was going to have to do this.

She was going to hate him.

Just because of that one name.

_Steven Macintosh._

* * *

**Thanks for reading. Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

"Okay everyone, listen up."

The agents turned to see Trevor standing at the top of the steps that led to the offices above the cubicles.

"Physicals are being held tomorrow." Trevor waited while the groans were let out. "Yeah, poor you. If you all check your e-mails, you will find the time your physical is being held, in which room and with whom. You don't show up for this physical, you're suspended. No excuses. Everyone, back to work."

He walked off, back to his office and left the agents to their own devices. Sands tried to get back to the file on Steven Macintosh, surprised that he was no longer hoping for a distraction, mainly because he knew one was going to come with that announcement. Any second now, someone was going to try to rile him…

"Hey, this physical might not feel so bad after all." He didn't look up from his computer, pretending not to listen, but Sands could hear it was an agent called Donovan who spoke. "I got Doctor Feelgood." He tensed his jaw at the other agents' nickname for Charlie but didn't dare open his mouth. "I hear she gives the best _physicals. _Very thorough._"_

_Ignore it. They're just trying to annoy you._

"Same here." Rush, another agent who Sands would gladly see dead, chimed in. "I got her too. Doesn't she organise these herself?" He smirked, slyly sneaking looks at Sands to see if he was getting annoyed. "I wouldn't be surprised if she scheduled all the men for herself. We know how she loves giving back to the agency."

"Don't you mean 'getting on her back for the agency'?"

"Come on guys, she's a doctor." Thompson said. "She works hard to give a service to every member of this agency." Though he seemed to be standing up for her, Sands wasn't fooled. This was Thompson. "And after she's done _servicing_ every member of this agency, she'll probably need a doctor." He smirked. "After all, she'll probably find it hard to walk-"

Sands had just rolled his hand into a fist and was about to hit him when the jibes were interrupted.

"That's enough." Crowley looked angry as he walked down into the cubicle floor. "You are government employees, not teenagers. I hear one more word against Doctor Macintosh or any other employee of this agency and the person who said that word will find themselves fired. You're grown men, start acting like it." He walked past the men who had now shut up.

Sands was beginning to realise how much he really didn't want Crowley to retire. He looked back to his computer to see when his own physical would be, obviously very early morning since his flight to Los Angeles was in the afternoon.

_Well, I didn't get her. That would have been a miracle and they don't happen here very often._

Sands couldn't help wondering though, why was Charlie doing the physicals at all? He didn't think she'd bother.

Usually she wouldn't have but a conversation she'd had with Crowley that morning had changed her mind.

"You wanted to see me?"

Crowley looked up from his paperwork to the door of his office. "Macintosh, sit down."

Charlie walked over and sat at his desk. "Is there a problem?"

"I wanted to speak with you in private," Crowley said. "To let you know that I plan on retiring from the agency."

Charlie tried to act surprised. "Oh? You are?"

Crowley nodded. "The other bosses already know but I wanted to tell you myself, in private. I feel your work since you've been back here has been exemplary. I know it mustn't have been easy but you've been nothing but professional."

Charlie thought back to her shower this morning which wouldn't have been deemed very professional if the agent in there with her was anything to go by. "Thank you."

"As you've probably guessed," Crowley went on. "With my retirement, one of the other bosses will have to take my place. I would like you to help me choose who it should be."

This surprised Charlie. "You do? Why?"

"Macintosh, I'm not an idiot. You're not the only one of them who broke the rules. Hartford goes for anything around here with breasts and Waitrose likes using her position of power a bit too much." This made Charlie wonder, though she tried not to, about Trevor and Gina Waitrose. Had they ever hooked up? The thought made her want to cringe. "I don't even want to get into Armisen's rule breaking but obviously, he isn't in the running for the job. You, however, were the only one with enough balls to not only admit that you broke the rules but backed up your actions. The rest of them out there didn't do that. They deny it and then try to sweep it under the rug. I like your resolve, Macintosh. You play fair, if not always by the book. I can't decide the lesser of the evils so I want you to help me. Who do you think the job should go to?"

Now this was putting Charlie in a predicament. She could easily say Trevor but would he be good at it? He did mess around with the women and he did happen to always turn a blind eye in favour of getting the job he was assigned to done. She was thinking about Sands at that moment. How many times had he done something wrong, ignored an order and blatantly broke the rules, not even with her, and Trevor ignored it because he liked Sands? Sands was never punished for beating up Thompson or for skipping work or for the many other things he did. Neither were other agents. As long as they were good at their actual jobs, out in the field, Trevor didn't see the point in reprimanding them but in a higher position of power, was that a good thing? She didn't think so.

Then there was Waitrose. Crowley had hit the nail on the head about her abusing her power. She held personal vendettas, for apparently no reason because she'd hated Charlie from the start without provocation, she used her authority to sleep with agents and she let these things affect her job. She constantly tried to wrangle money away from Charlie's department just because she didn't like her. That was very bad judgement, especially in the medical department. Waitrose took things too personal to be a good boss.

"To be honest," Charlie said, thinking carefully about her answer. "I don't think the job should go to either of them. Both of them have proved to not have the ability to be in your position. You want my advice? Bring in someone new, someone who has no connection to the people who work here, has no favourites or enemies and who can serve the position to the best of their abilities without bias."

Crowley seemed to like her answer if his smirk was anything to go by. "That is a very interesting answer, Macintosh."

"It's just what I think." Charlie shrugged. "You're free to ignore me completely if you think it's a bad decision but if I were you, that's what I'd do."

"You do realise if you'd said Hartford and I picked him, you probably would have gotten a very easy ride. He looks upon you favourably and I only mean that in a strictly professional manner."

Charlie nodded. "I know that but you asked for my professional opinion, not what I think would be the best for me personally. If you do decide to give Trevor the job, I'm not going to try and use that to my advantage. I don't need to. I'm good at my job, I don't need special treatment."

"Not even with Sands?"

Charlie tried to think of how best to phrase her words. "I still have feelings for Agent Sands; I'm not going to lie because I don't think you'd believe it-"

"I wouldn't."

"-But it's been made very clear that we're not going to be allowed be together. If I get released from my position at the CIA, will it be something I pursue?"

"Yes." Crowley got in before she could.

Charlie sighed. "I can't deny that it's something I would like but while I work here, I will do the best job I can and if that means not being with Agent Sands, then I guess I'll just have to put up with that."

"Do you still want to leave this job?" Crowley asked. "Work in another hospital?"

Charlie felt like she was in a trap. "I want to be a doctor, to help people and as long as I'm doing that, it doesn't matter where I work."

"A very noble answer." Crowley smirked. "You play the game well, Macintosh. New York was unlucky to have lost you."

Charlie frowned. "How did you know about that?"

"Who do you think told them that you were available for hire?" Crowley still had his smirk.

"Oh…I…"

"That's not all." Crowley went on, not taking noticing of her shock.

"It isn't?"

"No. At the moment, you and I are the only ones who know about Melissa Cartwright's condition."

"Oh, you know?" Charlie frowned.

"Macintosh, it's my job to know. Even when you don't think I could possibly know, I know." This unnerved Charlie. Was he hinting at her? "But you and I are the only ones. I would like to make sure it stays that way."

"Well you don't have to worry, I won't tell anyone. I took an oath."

"I'm sure you could understand the trouble it'll cause when this gets out. I would like for this agency to stay professional, not an episode of Jerry Springer. I want it dealt with in a confidential manner."

"I can do that."

"As we've discussed before, physicals are coming up soon. I need you to take blood samples."

Charlie was positive she was getting it wrong. "Wait, for paternity tests?"

"Exactly."

"You want me to run DNA tests on the agents and not tell them? I can't do that."

"It's your job."

"No, it's not." She argued. "Look, Melissa got herself into this mess and so did those agents. They should pay the price for it."

"Like you had to?"

Charlie sat up. "I never said that."

"But you're thinking it. Why are they getting off when you're being made suffer day after day?"

"Well, it's not wrong."

"Look, I know you're bitter against this agency and I know you feel you don't owe the CIA anything but like it or not, this is your job. You agreed to take orders and it was made clear on the first day that they wouldn't be run of the mill."

"So, what? Melissa gets to be promiscuous and the CIA takes care of it for her but I actually want to be with someone, just one person whom I love, and I get threatened and ordered around? This is bullshit."

"Like it or not, this agency has to do what's best for the welfare of the child while still trying to maintain a professional demeanour."

"So, I'm being punished because I was smart enough not to get knocked up? If I had, you'd have just let Sands and I carry on, the way we were without a problem?"

"Not exactly. I'm not saying Melissa and the father of her child can be together. I'm saying that child support needs to be paid and the person who fathered this child needs to take responsibility. Melissa is not getting away with anything and neither is the father."

"And the other potential fathers? They're getting off, scot-free?"

"Can you prove they had sex?"

Charlie huffed, knowing she couldn't. "They admitted to it."

"No, Melissa said it happened. Any one of them cany deny it which is why we need you to conduct these paternity tests and find out who fathered this child for the child, not for the parents' convenience. Can you at least agree to that?"

"No, I can't. I'm still conducting the test without the person's consent. Unless you get a court order for the DNA, they have to volunteer it."

"They volunteered themselves by joining this agency. Just take some blood samples at the physicals; they'll have volunteered for that."

Charlie sighed. "I don't know…"

"You will be compensated for your efforts."

"I don't need money."

"I'm not talking about money. I'm talking about you having leverage."

This made Charlie take interest. "What kind of leverage?"

"The kind that's realistic." Crowley said, knowing what she was thinking.

"So I do this, the CIA owes me a favour?" She asked.

"That's the gist of it."

Charlie stood up. Maybe instead of trying to stay outside of the game because it didn't seem like the right thing to do, it was time to get involved in it and sort out her own gain.

"I'll see you tomorrow at physicals then."

* * *

_Just tell her. _

Sands stood outside Charlie's door, preparing to do what he decided. Instead of keeping his new mission a secret that would fester and only make things worse when it came out, and Sands had no doubt that it was going to come out eventually, he decided to tell Charlie that the CIA had put him to work on a job that included her father. He'd explain that he had no choice and that they were doing this to turn her against him. It wasn't a lie.

_She's smart. She'll understand and the fact that you're telling her straight away, she'll appreciate it. You told her you'd never lie to her and you're sticking to your word. She can't be mad at you._

Even so, he was hesitant to knock on her door.

And he had a key.

_Just talk to her about it._

He turned with a frown when he heard the elevator open behind him and Charlie walked out.

"Hey, what are you doing standing there?" She asked.

"I just got here." Sands lied. "Was just about to go in."

"Oh, cool." Her hands were full of paperwork. "Could you open the door? It's a little hard to reach my keys."

"Sure." He said, reaching for his own. It would probably be the last time she asked him to use it before wanting it back and telling him never to talk to her again but at the moment, she didn't seem to notice his trepidation.

He opened the door and held it open for her as she walked in. Buster hurried to both of them excitedly though not even the sight of him could ease Sands' mind. He watched Charlie put her paperwork on the counter along with her bag and turned to him.

"Aren't you coming in?" She frowned.

"Yeah." He walked inside and closed the door.

"Well, Crowley told me he's retiring today." Charlie said as she rifled through the papers, not noticing his demeanour. "I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he tells you guys and then everyone will know that there's a big promotion up for grabs. Trevor and Waitrose are already sniffing around Crowley's office. It's like he's already gone. I can't imagine what it'll be like once the agents find out. Everyone will be more backstabbing than they already are, trying to prove their devotion to the job."

Sands wasn't really listening. He was leaning against the back of her couch and looking at her back, wondering what was the best way to tell her. "Yeah…"

She turned to him with a frown. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, why do you ask?" He lied.

"You seem kind of distant. I think this is the longest I've gone without hearing a come on from you." She joked.

"I'm fine."

"Okay…" She didn't know if she could believe him but if he didn't want to tell her, he wasn't going to. She didn't have to be a genius to figure that one out. "Did Trevor tell you guys that agent physicals are tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah, he did." Sands couldn't help but feel angry, thinking back to what the other guys were saying about her today. "You're doing some of them? I didn't think you'd bother with something as mundane as that."

"I have to. Crowley's orders."

"Crowley can order you to do physicals?"

"Mhmm."

Now she seemed to be the one acting coy.

"Why did he-?"

"Just did." She shrugged. "When he told me he was retiring, he told me he wanted me to oversee a few. It's just part of my job now. Why?"

"Just wondering." Sands lied. "Do you choose who you examine?"

"I do. I obviously couldn't do yours."

"Yeah, figured." He huffed. "Fuck."

"I think that was always going to be obvious."

Sands looked at her as she went over the files. "Exactly how many of the guys are you examining?"

Charlie turned to him. "Are you jealous?"

"Just curious."

"A few." She shrugged. "It was a random pick. Believe me; I don't want to examine any of them."

"Well, I can tell you they're looking forward to it."

Charlie realised why he was put out about her conducting some of them. "I'll be fine."

"I know." He said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I'm not going to let them get to me."

"Good for you."

"You shouldn't either. Sands, they badmouth me to annoy you. You have to not let them."

"I'm trying."

Charlie sighed. "I know you are. I'm sorry."

"What are you apologising for? They're the pricks. And you have to spend tomorrow with them. As if physical day wasn't bad enough already."

Charlie frowned. "What's the problem with physicals?"

"Sugar, you're the only doctor I like playing with my junk."

"Charming."

"Also, it's annoying that they never tell us when they're taking place until the day before."

"That's so if someone is taking drugs or something, they can't trick us by letting it flush out of their system beforehand." Charlie shrugged. "If you're serious about wanting me to do it, I can do a quick exam now, make sure you'll pass tomorrow. Just in case."

"Because of my famous crack addiction?" He frowned.

"No." She smiled. "It would just be a quick look over."

"Why? Why would I want that?"

"Because it's always better to know beforehand if you have high cholesterol or something. It proves to the doctors and the bosses that you're taking care of yourself in every way, something they want you to do."

"They care about that?"

"Yeah. The doctors want to know you're looking after your health, the bosses want to know you're looking for their assets."

"So because I hate physicals, it's better to get a physical before my physical?" Sands asked. "This sounds like you're tricking me with your doctor talk."

"Look, it's just so if you do have high cholesterol or whatever, you can tell your doctor that you know and you're keeping an eye on it. It's better than saying you had no idea that you were being unhealthy. You know agents have to stay in top shape."

"Fan-Fucking-Tastic." He huffed. "This day couldn't get worse if I was set on fire."

"Alright, something's up." Charlie said. "What's wrong?"

"I told you-"

"Yeah, nothing but you've been acting weird since you got here and I want to know why. And don't just say it's about the physicals. There was something on your mind before I even brought that up. Is there something you need to tell me?"

"No."

Charlie sighed and turned back to her files. "Fine."

"No, actually, there is. I do have to tell you something." He said suddenly. He had to tell her about her father. He'd done scarier things than this. He could tell her. He swore he'd never lie to her, even if she left him because of the truth. "Something that you don't want to hear but I have to tell you, even if you might hate me for it."

His resolve wearied when he saw her turn back to him, looking worried. He felt like an idiot but he didn't want to see her looking like that.

"What is it?" She asked. He could practically hear her heart racing. "Did someone find out?"

"No, no one found out." Sands said.

Charlie bit her bottom lip, scared over the answer to her next question. Her voice quivered slightly. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"What? No." Sands frowned. He saw her leave out a breath, slightly relieved. "Is that something you worry about?"

"Sometimes." She admitted. "I mean, you love your job and you risk it every time you're here."

Sands walked over, putting his hands on her waist. "Listen to me, that is not something you're going to have to ever worry about. I've never even considered it and I never will."

"Really?" She placed her hands on his chest.

"Definitely." He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers softly. He couldn't believe she worried about that. Although, he should have. It wouldn't have been the first time he had chosen his job over her. Maybe he'd been too much of a dick in the past to ever forget about. It couldn't be all smooth sailing with his track record of pulling the rug out from under her.

_Isn't that what I'm going to be doing now? Putting my job before her? She wouldn't want me anywhere near her father but my job says I have to…_

"So…Uh…What did you want to tell me?" She asked when the kiss parted but he kept his forehead against hers.

"Firstly, to not ever worry about that again." He could feel himself stalling but couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help sometimes wondering if you think I'm worth it."

"Of course I do."

"Really? The risk? The rules? The fact that you get so much shit in work over me from those idiots…"

"If you think I would let what happens with those fuckmooks in work affect anything I have with you then you need to call up whoever declared you a genius and tell them they got it wrong. I couldn't give a fuck about how much they try to annoy me if it means I got you."

"Well, there are no worries about that. I'm not going anywhere."

Sands smirked and kissed her again.

_Stalling. You're stalling. Stop stalling._

_Tell her._

Sands pulled away. "That's not what I wanted to tell you though."

She bit her lip. "I'm just afraid to hear it so you better tell me quickly."

Sands loved the feeling of her in his arms. He never wanted that feeling to go away. "I got a new mission."

"Oh? Where?"

California was the truth. California was what he had to say, where her father lived.

"London."

_Coward._

Charlie nodded. "Is that it?"

"That's it." He lied.

"You had me worried." She smiled. "Sands, I get that you're going to have missions. You don't have to be scared of telling me when they come up."

Sands smirked. "Noted."

_You can still fix this. You can still tell her. Just admit that you didn't know how and tell her._

"When are you going?" Charlie asked.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" She wasn't smiling anymore. "But you just got back."

"I know." Sands sighed. "Sorry, sugar. They don't really give me a choice."

Charlie put her hands on his shoulders. "Well then, I guess we better make tonight count then, huh?"

She looked up into his eyes and Sands couldn't help but kiss her again.

* * *

"Oh, come on…"

Sands woke up in Charlie's bed and was once again, alone. Why was this always happening? There wasn't any reason she should have had to leave this time. He spotted a note on the pillow which He picked up and read.

_Took Buster for a walk. I'll get dinner while I'm out._

Sands put down the note and got up, getting dressed. He walked over to the couch and turned on the television.

"…_Had been the first of eight women abducted, beginning earlier in the year. Up until now, police have been searching for kidnapped victims but with the discovery of Katherine Quentin's body early this morning, it now seems that the investigation has turned into a homicide. The killer, which the media have called 'The Avenger' after the Alfred Hitchcock film which featured a serial killer who targeted blonde women, may still be keeping the other seven women alive, including the latest victim, Brittany Kelleher…"_

Sands frowned. How had no one caught this guy yet? He was dragging off women left and right. The thought made Sands consider how his own responsibility was out in the city right now, on her own. Obviously no woman was safe and Charlie did have a habit of getting kidnapped. It was bad enough when she just wandered off on her own but the fact that Sands was leaving tomorrow morning and wouldn't be here made him feel a little worried. He turned off the television, no longer paying attention to the news story which was flashing the eight victims' faces on the screen, and walked over to the notepad Charlie had written her message on, writing something down before leaving the apartment.

By the time Charlie got back, she found the note on the countertop as she put the bag of takeout down.

_Be back soon._

"I think you mean 'in a few hours'." She muttered to herself. Whenever he got a call and had to leave, promising to be back soon, Charlie spent most of the night by herself.

_Just great._

She undid Buster's leash and took off the grey zip up hoodie she was wearing, leaving her in her tracksuit bottoms and sports bra. She also took out her contacts and put on her glasses. She figured Sands wouldn't be back for a while so she could wait before having to make an effort again. It had been long engrained in her by her mother that she should only ever be completely comfortable when she was alone. If she wasn't making an effort, why would anyone bother making an effort for her? Charlie may have hated it but some of her mother's "lessons" would just never leave her.

_Lessons, insecurities; it's all the same._

Sands still didn't know about her collection of comfortable pyjamas or the small stuffed teddy bear from when she was a child she kept hidden with those pyjamas. He already knew about her embarrassingly cheesy taste in movies but that couldn't be helped. Her messy ponytail and the glasses she had for at home, no make-up and exercise clothes were not something she felt exuded sexiness so she tried to avoid him seeing her like that at all costs.

_Thank you, Mom._

She was in the middle of eating the takeout and reading her book when the door opened and Sands walked in.

Charlie looked up, cursing herself. "I didn't think you'd be back for a few hours."

"I told you I'd be back soon." He shrugged.

"Yeah, but…" She frowned when he walked past her and began inspecting her balcony doors. "You…What are you doing?" Well, he didn't take notice that she looked like a wreck but apparently, her apartment needed attention.

He turned from the doors to her.

"Sugar, do you feel safe here?"

Charlie looked at him through her glasses as he looked around the apartment. "Safe in what way? From burglars or the CIA?"

"Both."

"Yes to the burglars, I never feel safe from the CIA."

"What about women-abducting serial killers?"

Charlie frowned. "You're worried about that Avenger guy?"

He turned from inspecting her window to her. "You gotta stop running off before I wake up, sugar."

"Buster wanted to go out and I decided to get dinner while I was walking him." She shrugged. "What's wrong with that? It's not like we could have gone out together."

"I was just watching the news. They found one of those women." Sands said.

"I know. Two separate guys stopped me on the street and told me I shouldn't be out alone."

"You let random guys stop you on the street?"

"You afraid I'm gonna get snatched?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That guy _snatched_ eight women from this area; all blonde, in three months and no one can find him. Now he's after killing one of them and dumping the body. I'd be pretty fucking stupid not to be worried about you."

"You just said it. He snatched them. He didn't break into their apartments and kidnap them and besides work, I never leave here. I don't go out with anyone."

"You walk Buster. The second woman was just going for a jog and she got taken."

"So I should hire a dog walker? A brunette dog walker?"

Sands walked over to her. "Actually, I think you should take this."

Charlie was shocked when he produced a gun from behind his back where it had been hidden under his shirt. "You're giving me a gun?"

"It's just a precaution. I want to know you're safe when I'm not here."

"I'll be fine…"

"Just take it." He said. "Just so you're giving me peace of mind."

Charlie sighed. "I suppose the next logical step in _our_ relationship was the exchanging of firearms."

"Look, I'm doing the best I can, alright?" Sands was frustrated, not at her but he was beginning to realise why the CIA was afraid of him being with her. He already didn't want to leave her here alone. "This may not be romantic or sentimental but it's necessary."

"Okay, it was just a joke." Charlie said, not understanding why he'd gotten so annoyed all of a sudden. "I'll take it."

"You will?"

Charlie nodded. "If it makes you feel better…"

"I want it to make you feel better."

"But I don't need to feel better, I feel fine."

"You shouldn't." Sands urged. "That's my point. There is a serial killer…"

"Murderer. As far as we know, he's only murdered one of them…"

"That doesn't make it better. There is a guy out there who snatches women, there's the CIA threatening your life and…" Sands was about to include a psychopathic ex-boyfriend who was still alive and probably still had a vendetta but remembered she didn't know. What he didn't know was that she did.

"And what?" Charlie didn't know Sands knew either and didn't want to add more burdens to their lives by making him worry about Barry too.

"And you should consider these things very real threats, especially the serial killer guy. It would only take a few seconds for him to make a move and he could have you. This isn't one of those television shows you constantly watch where they manage to find the guy in three days because that's how long the episode lasts, this is real life and this guy is smart."

"Wait," Charlie frowned. "You want me to be scared so…I can stop being scared?"

"It sounds stupid when you say it like that. I want you to understand that there are dangers out there and I want you to be prepared." Sands said.

"Sands, I was shot less than a year ago, I realise there are dangers out there."

He looked at her suspiciously. "Is that why you don't want to take it?"

"I never said I don't want to take it. I'm just a little shocked that you're giving it to me. I said I'd take it."

"But do you want to?"

"I don't want to have to but I realise that I do." Charlie held out her hand. Sands didn't hand it over. "Go on."

Sands placed the gun into her hand. "It's just a precaution, like I said. You see some strange guy coming towards you…"

"Shoot him?"

"Well, that's what I'd do but maybe just keep a hand on it in your purse or something." Sands shrugged, sitting down across from her. "Be prepared."

"I am prepared. The CIA made me take those self-defence classes, remember? Apparently I'm getting kidnapped too much or something."

"Well, I'd fear a bullet over a jab of your car keys any day."

"Sands, I'll be fine. I promise. After all, I don't actually leave this apartment unless it's with the dog and as I recall, he saved you."

"Well, I'd prefer both of you stay safe rather than risk one of you."

Charlie got up and walked around the counter to him, putting her hands on shoulders. "It means a lot to me that you're so worried."

"Well, it'd be a bit of a downer if I came home and I found out I had to rescue you from some serial killing freak just because he liked your hair colour."

"Don't worry, my damsel in distress days are over. I will be vigilant and armed at all times, I promise."

"Hmmm, I like that." Sands smirked, his hands running along her back.

"What?"

"The thought of you as some gun wielding, leather wearing, badass, Lara Croft type."

"Have we met?" Charlie frowned though she was still smiling.

Sands smirked and pulled her closer. "We've done a lot more than that." He couldn't help but survey her face. It would be his last time seeing it for a while. She thought he was going to kiss her again but instead, he said, "You should wear your glasses more often."

Charlie had completely forgotten she was wearing them. "What?"

"Your glasses." He repeated. "They look good but you never wear them."

"I…Oh…I don't…"

"Or don't." He frowned, seeing her flustered. "Whatever you want."

Charlie silently cursed herself again.

_Why can't you just say thanks? Why do you always do this?_

"_Really Charlotte, if you don't bother trying to make yourself look presentable to people, what will make them want to look twice at you?"_

Charlie tried to shake her mother's words from her head. She couldn't deny that she had a pride in her appearance outside of this apartment but why be insecure with Sands? He loved her. Obviously he was fine and it was her own insecurities making her act like an idiot.

"Sugar? You okay?" Sands asked. "You just went a little catatonic there."

"Sorry, I'm fine." She tried to smile. "I just thought I'd get a chance to change before you came back. It's your last night and I look like I'm going to the gym."

"You wear your nerd glasses to the gym?"

Charlie was about to reply but realised what he actually said. "Did you just call me a nerd?"

"You are a nerd." He shrugged. "But you're my nerd."

Charlie smiled. "Tell you what, I'm going to go for a shower and try and make myself a little more presentable and-"

"No."

"No?" Why was he saying no?

"No." Sands said. "I don't care what you're wearing because the way I see it, you're not going to be wearing it for very much longer so who cares? You trying to get ready for me when I'm already here will just waste time. What's the point of that?"

"Do you know anything about women?"

Sands looked at her tiredly.

"Look," Charlie sighed. "I would like to feel a little…Sexier if we're going to have sex. I'm sweaty and all…I look awful."

"No, you looked awful after you were shot."

She wasn't expecting that. "Excuse me?"

"You did." He shrugged. "Limp hair, droopy eyes, sallow skin; you looked like hell. You also looked awful after that psycho tried to blow you up. I'm pretty sure you looked awful after being kidnapped and taken to Mexico where you were running for your life though I didn't actually see you then. Now you just look kinda messy."

Charlie didn't know how to reply. "Well…"

"Stop worrying about how you look. You're too fucking smart for that shit."

Charlie sighed. "I just like to look nice for you. Is that a problem?"

"Sugar, I've known you for quite some time now, over a year, and this little issue has the stamp of 'Mommy Dearest' all over it, not anything you care about yourself."

"I guess it's hard to let some things go." She shrugged.

"I get that." Sands nodded. "I'm finding it impossible to let you go right now."

"Oh God, so cheesy…" She cringed.

"Oh, shut up." He smirked, pulling her closer so he could kiss her. Charlie pressed herself close to him as the kiss got more passionate and before she knew it, he stood up from the stool, kicking it out of the way and pressed her up against the counter. His hands ran over her bare skin, left revealed by the exercise bra as she grasped chunks of his shirt. She was surprised when he reached behind her and pushed his arm across the table, throwing all the food off and onto the floor before picking her up to sit on it.

"Are you going to clean that up?" She smirked, looking down at the floor where there was quite a mess.

"Later. Got other things on my mind right now."

Charlie smiled. "I'm sure."

"Well we could clean or you could give me that physical you were talking about?" He said with a sly smile as he took her hair out of the ponytail it was in. "A really thorough one."

"Hmm, I don't see what I get out of that besides a lot of work." She teased.

"Oh sugar, I always repay my favours." He began kissing her neck.

Charlie bit her lip, wanting to tease him a little further but knowing it was a bad idea. She decided to risk it though, if only because teasing him could be so fun. She hopped down from the counter so she was standing in front of him. "You want me to give you a really good physical?"

She felt Sands turn her and wrap her arms around her tightly, his lips assaulting her neck again. "Oh, yeah."

"Well, I suppose I should get some practice in giving physicals before tomorrow." She felt him stop kissing her neck. "Although, I don't think I'm supposed to let agents return the favour…"

She had to gasp when she felt him clasp her jaw and turn her head slightly. "You listen to me, sugar, anyone of those fuckers even so much as lays a finger on you, you _are _going to tell me and I will kill them, understood?" Charlie wasn't expecting this. She was expecting him to be possessive, not protective. What exactly had they been saying about her around him to make him act this way? "You don't tell Trevor, you don't tell Crowley, you tell no one but me and whatever fuckmook who thought he could mess with you like that will find out that his actions have very bad consequences. Am I clear?"

"Yes." She breathed. She never knew if she liked it when he sounded like this.

"What are you going to do?"

"Tell you."

"And if you don't?"

"I don't even want to think about it."

Sands smirked. "You a little scared, sugar?"

"I just know to never underestimate you."

"Good. Hopefully your patients tomorrow will know that too." She felt the hand that was on her jaw snake down to delve inside her top where he began to massage her breast. "Because I am the only man allowed to touch you." Sands smirked, hearing the sounds of enjoyment emanating from her. "Is that what you want?"

"Ye…Yes."

"I need a little more than that, sugar." She could feel the tips of his fingers of his other hand began to lightly run along her abdomen, near the top of her pants. "What do you want? Because I can tease too."

Charlie couldn't resist anymore. "Touch me."

"Are you asking me or telling me?" Sands was the one having fun now. He was surprised when he felt Charlie take his hand and bring it to where she wanted it. "I guess that's my answer." His fingers began caressing her and he felt as Charlie's hips began to move slightly at the feeling and since he was pressed her up against her, he felt every movement she made grind against him, fuelling his own arousal. He quickened his strokes as a way to make her body move against his more vigorously. It was fun for him to think that he could control how much she tried to arouse him and he knew by her heavy breathing that she appreciated his efforts just as much as he did.

"Is that your gun or are you just liking this as much as I am?" She purred softly, feeling him press against her.

"I gave you my gun, remember sugar?" He smirked. "That's all me."

"Hmmm, lucky me." She moaned as she felt herself succumb to his touch. Her hand grasped his arm, her nails digging into his skin but he didn't mind the pain as long as he knew what he was doing to her was causing her to have such a reaction. "Sheldon…"

He waited until she had relaxed to take his hand away. "I love it when you call me that."

"So do I. It usually means good things are coming my way."

"You should say it a lot more then. Get on the bed."

Charlie smiled. "Whatever you say, Sheldon." She walked over to the bed and Sands watched as she took off the exercise bra, throwing it across the room. She looked over her now bare shoulder at him. "Coming?"

"Oh, I have a feeling I will be."

* * *

"I can't believe I'm actually enjoying this."

Charlie smiled. "I know. I didn't think you'd last this long."

"Never really what a guy wants to hear, sugar."

She chuckled. "Sorry."

Sands was surprised at himself. At the moment, they were both lying on the couch with Charlie, wearing his shirt like always and her glasses since Sands had quashed her insecurities over them and she needed them to see anything, resting her head on his chest and watching a movie while he was busy playing with her hair and not watching the movie. He couldn't believe he was content to just lie here and not want anything more. Usually he would have gotten antsy by now but no, he was happy where he was. She'd even gotten to choose the movie, which he almost never let happen after hearing a few of her favourites and no matter who chose it or when, Sands didn't think he'd ever sat through one completely without trying to get her to have sex with him at some point and more often than not, succeeding.

"Why aren't you getting restless?" Charlie asked. "I thought you'd hate this movie."

"Then why'd you pick it?" Sands frowned.

"Because I like it."

"Well I'll be honest; it is making me want to rip my own eyeballs out again."

"But…?" She prodded, still wondering why he was willing to sit through it.

"But I'm tired, you're tired and you're enjoying it so…"

"So Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, CIA agent, is happy to forgo sex and just lie here and suffer through it because I like it?"

He was still playing with her hair. "You fucking owe me."

Charlie smiled and turned her head so her nose was grazing along his chest which gave Sands a ticklish sensation. He guessed he must have really loved her. He would not have done anything remotely like this for anyone else, anyone he'd ever met before her or he figured anyone who was currently living. He couldn't tell her that though.

_No way. I'd look like a fucking sap._

_There's a lot you're not telling her tonight._

Sands immediately saw this as an opportunity to tell the truth about his mission. "You know, I'm not the only one being surprising tonight."

Charlie looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when I came back, you were insecure over how you looked but that ended pretty quickly when you were shoving my hand down your-"

"Yeah, I get it." She said, cutting him off. "I don't know, I guess you just make me confident in ways I don't usually feel confident. It's nice."

"Oh, I know it is." He grinned. "It's nice for me too."

"I'm just used to worrying about how I look from my mom and it made me think everyone judges the way I look or act. It's a hard habit to get out of. I'm sorry; I know it's probably really annoying."

"You do realise you just apologised for thinking I'm judging because you thought I was judging you?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Charlie was silent for a second. "Wow, you're right. I'm sorry-"

"Stop apologising."

"Sorry." She said quietly.

Sands' hands went to her waist and thigh. "Sugar, I'm never gonna judge you for the fucked up shit your parents put you through."

Charlie didn't reply which let him know she was doing her familiar routine of clamming up.

"Listen, I gotta ask you something." He said which made her look up at him. "You know what it is."

"Sands…" She got up off him, sitting on the other end of the couch.

"I know you don't want to tell me but you gotta start being able to trust me." Sands sat up too, looking at her.

"I do trust you." Her demeanour didn't seem to support her words. She was in an awkward position with her leg bent in front of her as if protecting herself. She wouldn't look at him.

"Then shouldn't I be allowed know what happened?" He asked. "It's not just to satisfy my own curiosity, not anymore. I see the way you get when you think he's calling you or when they say his name on the news." Being the head of one of the biggest corporations in the world, Steven Macintosh was also one of the best known names. "It's begun to bother me just as much as it bothers you." He was surprised when he saw Charlie's face. She was looking at him now and it actually looked like she was about to tell him or at least, considering it. "No matter what it is, I'll never mention it again if you don't want me to. It's just the thought that something happened to you or with you or you saw something and it still affects you to this day, I need you to be able to tell me what it was. It's hard to comfort you when you do have to be reminded of it when I don't know why you're upset."

"I…" Charlie really seemed to be struggling with herself. Sands really thought she was going to tell him and so did Charlie. She thought she could but before she knew it, she was sighing and looking away from him again. "No, I can't. I'm sorry. I wish I could but I can't. I can't say it." She actually looked close to tears. "It's not because I don't trust you, it's just me. I wish I was strong enough to be able to tell you but I'm not."

Sands sighed. "Something really bad happened, didn't it?"

Charlie nodded, taking off her glasses to rub her eyes. She was finally glad she wasn't wearing any make-up. She kept her eyes closed, eventually feeling his arms wrap around her to being her onto his lap.

"Charlie, you told me the truth in Turkey, didn't you?"

"What do you mean?" She sniffed. She was proud of not letting the tears fall but she couldn't keep the emotion out of her voice.

"When you said he never touched you, that that's not the reason?"

"No, it's not." She reassured, rubbing his arm as her head lay on his. "He never did anything like that to me. He never hit me and he never…Did anything else to me, I swear."

Sands kissed the side of her head. At least that was something.

"You know that thing I can't say? That."

Charlie smiled a little. "I love you too."

* * *

"Mister Sadler?"

Sands turned to see a dark haired woman approach him. He was currently standing in the lobby of Tethys Tower HQ, the headquarters of Steven Macintosh's company. "Yes?"

"Unfortunately Mister Macintosh is unavailable at the moment but Mister Wyman has opened up a slot to see you."

"I was actually hoping to talk to Mister Macintosh." Sands said. He knew Nathan Wyman was Steven Macintosh's business partner but that didn't help him learn about Charlie.

"Like I said, Mister Macintosh is unavailable so unless you would like to talk to Mister Wyman instead, I'm afraid we'll have to reschedule." The secretary seemed to be a bit bothered about something which made Sands wonder why Steven Macintosh was suddenly unavailable.

"I guess I'll see Mister Wyman then, thank you."

The woman nodded. "Right this way." She led Sands to the elevators and up to an office waiting room where another secretary sat. "Sharon, could you tell Mister Wyman that Mister Sadler is here?"

The woman nodded and picked up the phone, relaying the message. "He says to go right in."

Sands walked over to the door and opened it to see a big office and a man sitting at a desk on the other end. It was a typical office space with big windows, a bar, a widescreen television on the wall and couches.

"Mister Wyman?"

Sands saw a tall, groomed man with salt and pepper hair and dark eyes stand up from his seat. He seemed to be in his mid-fifties and wearing an expensive suit. He seemed like the sort of man who always wore a suit. He had perfectly tanned skin and perfectly white teeth. He was a very put together person.

"You must be Mister Sadler." Wyman smiled. "Nathan Wyman, it's good to meet you."

"Jeff Sadler." Sands held out his hand. It had been a long time since he needed a fake name while on a mission so he thought it best not to stray far.

"Please, take a seat. Would you like anything? Water? Coffee?"

"I'm good, thanks." Sands sat down at the desk. "I was under the impression that I'd be having my meeting with Mister Macintosh. Isn't he the one in need of a bodyguard?"

"That he is." Wyman nodded. "You're who the agency sent over?"

Sands nodded. He didn't feel the need to clarify which agency.

"You don't look like a bodyguard." Wyman said.

"Neither does Kevin Costner but hey, that movie made money." Sands quipped which made Wyman laugh. He'd have to thank Charlie for making him watch that movie; he just couldn't tell her why it helped him out. "I assure you that I'm more than capable."

"Your resume shows all different kinds of training…" Wyman said, going over the fake resume that the CIA had written up and Sands had just looked over. Wyman looked up at him. "You willing to use a gun?"

"Yup."

"You answered quite fast there."

"I'm very sure of my response."

Wyman surveyed him. "Have you ever fired your gun at someone before?"

"Yes."

"Protecting a client?"

"And myself. Both are still standing."

"Who was the client?"

"I'm not at liberty to say." Sands just couldn't think of anyone.

"Good answer." So far, Wyman seemed impressed. "What if you didn't have a gun?"

"I'd find another way."

"Oh, really? Alright, Kevin Costner, show me what you got." Wyman smirked.

Sands frowned. "Excuse me?"

Wyman got up. "You want the job; you gotta show your qualifications."

"You want me to attack you?" Sands knew rich people could be eccentric but come on, he'd just sat down.

"No, I'm going to attack you; you're going to subdue me."

Sands really wasn't expecting this. "You're serious?"

"As a heart attack and don't worry, I've never had one so don't let my age hold you back. I'm fit as a…"

He was cut off when Sands grabbed his arm and twisted it, pushing his fist into the man's back to make him fall to his knees and took the twisted arm, wrapping it around Wyman's neck so he was effectively choking himself before Sands quickly grabbed his other arm so he couldn't defend himself, all without ever leaving his seat.

"Al…Alright…" Wyman gasped. Sands let him go and he got up slowly. "Alright then, let's get you signing that contract." He walked back to his desk and sat down. "I think having you around is going to be fun. Now, before you do anything, I'm going to ask you if you're willing to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

This made Sands frown. "A non-disclosure agreement? As in I can't tell anyone anything I see around here?"

"Yes."

"I assumed all I'd be seeing is people working and the odd public appearance?"

"It's company policy for everyone to sign the non-disclosure agreement. If you don't sign it, I'm afraid you can't work here."

Sands shrugged. "I'll sign whatever you want, I was just asking."

"Good." Wyman handed over the contracts. "Just sign there."

Sands did so, signing the non-disclosure one before anything else. He read over the others. "Just so we're clear, there is a clause in my contract that prohibits any photographs to be taken of me, right? It's my company policy."

"That is not a problem, Mister Sadler. We completely understand the need for anonymity, as we hope you do."

Sands nodded and signed the rest of the contracts.

"Fantastic." Wyman smiled. "Great doing business with you, Mister Sadler."

"Will I be meeting Mister Macintosh today?" Sands asked.

"I'm afraid not."

"Look, I signed your non-disclosure agreement. Anything that I need to know, I should know straight away."

Wyman seemed to consider this. "Still..."

"I can handle whatever it is. Drink, drugs, I'm not going to quit."

"Why do you automatically assume it's something like that?" He frowned.

"I've done my research. Well."

Wyman was still for a few seconds before he pressed a button on his intercom. "Sharon, bring my car around."

"Yes, Mister Wyman."

Wyman got up. "Come on Sadler, it's time to meet your boss."

"He's not even here?"

Wyman sighed. "No, he's not."

* * *

"Doctor Macintosh, your next patient is ready."

Charlie sighed and walked back into the exam room.

"Hey, Doc."

"Thompson." Charlie walked over and took his file into her hands, reading it. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Fit as ever." He replied.

"That's good. Your BMI is normal but your blood pressure is still a little high for my liking so-"

"Where are those cute little office dresses you usually wear?"

Charlie had known she was going to get a lot of shit today so she'd worn scrubs, not very attractive. "Thompson, come on. What's your diet like?"

"You know, the usual."

"As I recall, the usual consisted of a lot of fast food. You're going to have to cut down, get some fruit and vegetables into your diet." Charlie kept reading over the chart. "Still smoking, I see. That's not helping either. If you're not going to quit, you'll at least have to cut back."

"Sands smokes."

Charlie restrained herself from sighing. "I don't care, I'm talking about you." She put down the file and walked over to him. "Take off your shirt, please."

"Yes, ma'am." He grinned at her but she ignored it. He pulled his shirt over his head.

"Okay before I do anything, I just want to take a quick blood sample." She said, tying a tourniquet around his arm. "You're not afraid of needle, are you?"

"Not at all. I'm not scared of getting something pricked into me. Huh, I guess you could say the same. Ow!"

"Oops, sorry. Missed the vein." Charlie said after she jabbed him with the needle. It wasn't her first time 'missing a vein' that day. "I'll just try again but you should really be quiet and let me concentrate. Don't want me missing again." Thompson shut up and Charlie took the blood. "Done."

She took off the tourniquet and put cotton wool and a band-aid over his needle point before she labelled the blood sample. She turned back to him. "Okay, now I'm going to examine your head for any bumps or abrasions or hair loss."

Charlie continued to ignore him as she began feeling around his hair. "Well, no hair loss."

"Thank God."

"No abrasions or irregularities."

"What are you looking for?"

"It's an exam, Thompson. I'm looking for anything." She continued to feel around his head, jaw, neck and shoulder but everything seemed fine. "Alright, I'm going to check your eyes now."

She pulled out her little light and began shining it in both of his eyes, looking at his responses. "Seems good. Now, could you cover your left eye and read the last line of this." She held up a piece of paper. She stood a bit back.

"Uh, S-E-X-Y D-O-C…"

"Thompson, I can fail you right now." She said, putting down the paper. "And let me tell you, you wouldn't make it as a comedian."

"Okay fine, I'll stop."

"Good." Charlie held up the paper again. "Read the last line."

"T-3-H-D-Q-7-1-K."

"Now cover your right eye and read it backwards."

Thompson did so.

"Okay." Charlie walked back over to him. She continued doing her eye tests.

"You know, the only reason we make fun of you is because we think you can handle it." Thompson said.

"I'm just waiting for the punch line to see what I can 'handle'." Charlie muttered.

"No, I'm serious. You've never taken notice of the crap we throw your way. We just figured you still wouldn't."

"Well, I don't."

"Yeah but I think some of us guys don't realise we're actually being pretty big assholes to you."

Charlie was surprised. Sands had once punched this guy for calling her frigid. "I have no doubt you do it behind my back as well."

"Look, I'm trying to apologise, alright?"

Charlie sighed. "Alright, apology accepted. Let's just forget about it."

She finished checking his eyes and went onto his ears. Everything checked out there as they did with his nose and mouth so she went to stand in front of him to check his shoulders and his chest.

"A lot of us don't get it though." Thompson said as she examined his shoulders.

"Don't get what?"

"I mean, out of all the guys here, all the guys who were actually nice to you or who aren't batshit crazy, you go for Sands?"

"Drop it."

"Look, I'm sorry but we were under the impression that you wouldn't break that rule for anyone-"

"Well, you were wrong then, weren't you?" She said to shut him up.

"So why him?"

Charlie shook her head. "It doesn't matter. It's just something I did, no one else's business."

She was really hoping her expression didn't show how flustered she was getting with his questions. One slip between present and past tense and he'd jump on it.

"Just something you did?" He asked as her hands moved to his chest, gently pressing against them to feel for any abnormal lumps or lymph nodes.

"Just something I did."

She was shocked when she felt his hands grasp her waist and pull her right up against him so her hands were trapped between them.

"Is it something you'd be interested in again?"

It took her a second to even remember how to form words. "What are you-?"

He stood up quickly and turned so Charlie felt herself get pushed up against the examining table, his lips crashing against hers and his hands roamed under her scrub shirt. After a few seconds of complete paralysis, Charlie managed to push him away and he felt a stinging slap against his cheek.

"Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shouted.

"Me?" Charlie frowned. "What the hell did you think you were just doing?"

"I don't know, trying to score a hot doctor. Damn, my cheek feels like it's on fire."

"You had no right to even think about putting your hands on me!"

"I didn't think it was a big deal!"

"Why the hell not?"

"You didn't say no!"

"I was shocked!" She defended. "Silence does not mean you get to grind me against an examination table!"

Thompson realised his mistake. "Are you going to tell Hartford?"

Charlie considered it. "I don't know."

The problem wasn't would she tell Trevor, it was would she tell Sands.

"No, come on, you can't." Thompson pleaded. "It was a mistake. I made a mistake. I thought you were up for it."

"Why would you possibly think that?"

"Because you did with Sands and he was your patient."

Charlie put her hand to her head, not believing this. "I had an affair with one agent and that means I'll have sex with any?"

"I didn't know. You just said it was something you did, you didn't say you actually had feelings for him. I thought you just wanted to rebel a little, have fun. I said I'd give it a shot and when you, once again, didn't say no-"

"Just shut up." She huffed.

"Look, please don't tell. I promise I will never try anything like that again, I swear. I won't even mention your name ever again unless it's in a completely professional manner. It was just a mistake in judgement. You're really going to get me fired for that?"

Charlie sighed. "Fine. I'll keep my mouth shut but you don't _ever _put your hands on me again, got it?"

"Oh believe me, I know I won't." He said, rubbing his cheek.

"Good."

This day was going worse than Charlie expected.

* * *

"You have your own key?"

Wyman looked at Sands. "The amounts of times I've had to come in here, I got one made. You should too; this is going to be your job."

"My job is protecting the client." Sands said as they walked into the vast mansion which seemed empty. "Not being his babysitter."

"You should have read your contract more carefully." Wyman walked up the stairs, knowing exactly where to go as Sands followed. "But now it's signed so just try to get out of this."

They walked into a room which was pitch black but the smell of alcohol was rife in the air. The darkness didn't deter Wyman as he walked through the room and pulled back the curtains.

"Fuck!" Shouted the scruffy man who was passed out on the king-sized bed. Sands had googled Charlie's father and knew what he looked like. He had dark hair and light blue eyes and right now, he had dark stubble from his lack of shaving and he was wearing the shirt and pants of a suit which he passed out in. He looked a lot cleaner in the pictures.

"Rise and shine, Steve." Wyman said, walking over to the bed. "It's three o' clock in the day."

Steven slurred something and Sands could just about make out the fact that he didn't care what time it was. Wyman tried to get him out of the bed. Looking at the two together, they looked like two opposites, one was clean and tidy, the other was a mess.

"A little help, Sadler." He looked to Sands.

Sands walked over but stopped when Steven looked at him.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Your new bodyguard." Wyman said.

"New? What happened to Teddy?"

"He quit, remember?" Wyman was still trying to get him up.

"He doesn't look like a bodyguard."

"He's a good one, believe me." Wyman smirked at Sands. "Seriously, help."

Sands picked up Steven's other arm and they managed to drag him out of the bed. Wyman was leading them to what Sands presumed was the bathroom.

"Steven Macintosh, the CEO of one of the biggest empires in the world, is a drunk?"

"Oh," Steven looked up at Sands. "I'm not always like this."

"Most days he's quite put together." Wyman said. "But there are…Slumps." Wyman looked down at Steven disapprovingly. "Especially after certain phone calls."

Sands heard Steven grunt. "My daughter hates me, you know."

Sands didn't know why but he was annoyed that this guy was pinning his messes on Charlie, especially after seeing her last night. She was the one who was hurt; he was just feeling sorry for himself. Sands had no sympathy. Was he like this because she refused to talk to him? Maybe but she refused to talk to him for a reason.

"Does she?" Sands acted ignorant. Steven must have called Charlie recently and she hadn't told Sands.

"That's enough, Steven." Wyman said, obviously trying to protect his partner. "Charlie didn't do this to you; she's not even in the state."

"You did this to me." Steven glared.

"Yup, it's all my fault. Sorry about that." Wyman seemed to be used to this if his willingness to take the blame meant anything. They dropped Steven in the bath and Wyman turned on the cold water, letting it spray through the shower nozzle.

"She won't even talk to me…" Steven didn't even notice the water. "I've tried countless times and she doesn't even care."

Wyman turned to Sands. "Why don't you wait outside? I can handle this."

"I thought this was my job?" Sands was hoping Steven would keep talking and eventually spill.

"Your job is to do what I say. Wait out there."

Obviously, whatever happened between Charlie and her father was just as much of a secret on Steven's side as it was on hers. To Sands, this made Steven seem even guiltier. If it was Charlie in the wrong, who would have cared if the bodyguard knew?

Sands walked outside and looked at the room, now that he had the chance. It was an opulent bedroom with cream walls and mahogany furniture but as Sands walked around, his attention was taken by a turned down picture frame on a dresser by the balcony doors. He picked it up to see the picture that had been hidden.

_Oh wow._

_Charlie as a child. There's something I never thought I'd see._

Sands couldn't help leaving out a smile as he held the frame in his hand. She must have only been about four or five when the picture was taken. It seemed to be her birthday and she was wearing a pink dress and had dirty blonde curls which Sands figured darkened as the years went on. She was in a garden and she hadn't seemed to know the picture was being taken as she was looking off to the side. She was adorable.

"What are you doing?"

Sands' smile dropped as he heard Wyman's voice. He turned with the photograph still in hand. "Is this the daughter?"

"It was, years ago. She's older now, off being a doctor." Wyman walked over and took the picture out of his hand and placing it back on the cabinet. Sands realised that Charlie was off-limits to employees, even when she was just in a frame. "You do not ask about her or mention her name. If he brings her up, you pretend like you didn't hear him, especially if he's been drinking."

"So I'm not allowed know what happened?"

"It's not my place to tell you. All I'm saying is that his daughter is a personal issue and I would like to trust you to respect that."

"Do you know what happened?" Sands asked. "Mister Macintosh was saying he's like this because his daughter hates him but he also says it's your fault."

"The daughter hating him isn't my fault. That's a family issue and even though, Steven is my oldest and closest friend, we're not family."

"Then why blame you?"

"It's easier than blaming himself."

Sands took that as a code for whatever Charlie hated her father for, maybe the business was involved and if that was the case, so was this man. After all, Sands had been sent here to investigate a deal with a CIA threat and he wasn't the first agent that had been, Armisen was. Maybe in solving his own case, he'd also solve why Charlie and her father never spoke.

"But you know why they don't talk anymore?"

Wyman was obviously annoyed that Sands wasn't catching onto the rule where Charlie wasn't mentioned. "You won't find me betraying Steven's trust anytime soon. Drop the daughter. Pretend she doesn't exist."

Sands didn't know why people always gave him this rule when it came to Charlie.

"Is this why I had to sign the non-disclosure agreement? If I happen to find out?"

"Why would you find out?"

"He was pretty chatty in there." Sands shrugged. "I won't ask but if he tells me, I can hardly unhear it."

"The non-disclosure agreement was for many things. The head of a major corporation is passed out in a bath in the middle of the day, that's not the kind of thing you want getting out."

"Is he back to using?"

Wyman sighed.

"I'm going to have to know." Sands said.

"Occasionally." The man admitted. "I'm willing to keep the company afloat if you keep him afloat."

"I don't get it." Sands frowned. "Why do all the work for a partner who drinks and snorts his money away?"

"Because without Steven Macintosh, there wouldn't be a company to keep afloat. He made me the man I am today and I plan on repaying him for that."

"Aren't you afraid something like this could ruin your company?"

"No, I'm not. I won't let that happen. Now, I have to get back to work. I suppose hoping for Steven to show up today is asking a little too much but I would hope he'll show up tomorrow. Make sure he does. And do not mention the daughter. A lot of guys have been fired for asking too many questions."

"You fire them?"

"I don't." Wyman said, indicating to the bathroom. "He's really protective over her."

Sands nodded. "Don't mention the daughter."

"Good because you go against any of the stipulations in the contract, I'll make sure you never get any work again."

Wyman left the room and Sands realised that Macintosh didn't need a bodyguard. Wyman was already in that role.

Sands walked into the bathroom and saw Macintosh passed out in the bath.

_This isn't going to be easy._

* * *

**Sands and Charlie seem to have a better time together than apart, don't they?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_So this is Charlie's father._

Sands looked at the unconscious man.

_Poor kid._

He left the room and walked out onto the balcony to survey surroundings. If he was going to pretend to be a bodyguard, a cover he had a feeling the CIA gave to piss him off, he might as well have done the job. He was looking around the gardens but couldn't help his mind wandering. Getting Macintosh to be an investor that Harish Sharma would trust was not going to be easy in his present state by any means. All that work was going to go through Wyman which was why Sands needed Macintosh to sober up and get back to work, not passed out in a bath.

_The other Macintosh is way nicer to have in a bath._

Sands thought back to the last time and as he recalled, the only time he and Charlie shared a bath. Showers, yes, plenty of them but only one bath. In Turkey.

_Gotta get her to do that again. That was fun._

Sands smirked, thinking how she'd single-handedly made him like his own name.

_"Looks like it's going to be another long night."_

_Charlie smiled, her hands going to his shoulders as they sat in the bath, the room filled with lit candles._

"_So, I have a question." She said, sounding more serious all of a sudden._

"_Oh?"_

"_Yeah. Now that we're having sex but as a couple, do you want me to call you Sheldon all the time?"_

_Sands frowned, considering it. "Huh…"_

"_I mean, I will if you want me to."_

"_I never wanted anyone to call me Sheldon."_

"_You want me to whenever I…" Charlie didn't finish, thinking she didn't have to but Sands was more than happy to fill in the gaps._

"_Have me to thank for your mind getting blown?" He smirked._

_Charlie smiled at him. "So I was wondering if you want me to call you Sheldon all the time. I probably should seeing as we're together now."_

_Sands raised an eyebrow at her. "Explain your logic on that one."_

"_Wouldn't it be a bit more personal to call you by your first name than the last name everyone calls you?"_

"_I suppose…"_

"_I mean, it's up to you. I won't if you don't want me to."_

_Sands thought about it. He'd never liked being called Sheldon, the name just held a lot of negativity for him. With just his last name, he was mysterious. No one really knew him. Except that now, Charlie did know him. Charlie loved him. She loved him as Sands and she loved him as Sheldon. It didn't matter to her which he was. Maybe this was his chance to not hate Sheldon. _

"_I guess, we could try it out."_

_Charlie smiled. "Okay."_

"_But only if you want to. I mean, I'm easy." He said quickly._

_Charlie put her hands on his shoulders, getting even closer to him, her body pressing against his. "Sands, don't worry…" He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled. "I guess it's going to take some getting used to."_

"_Well then, I guess I'm going to have to help you get into the habit." He smirked, sitting up slightly. Charlie frowned for a second, not understanding but her eyes fluttered shut as she felt his hand went under the water and found its way between her legs._

"_Oh God…"_

"_Not my name, sugar but if that's what you wanna call me…"_

_Charlie opened her eyes and looked at him, her mouth slightly agape. "You just…Want me to call…your name."_

_Sands smirked. "That's exactly what I want. Say it."_

"_You always do this."_

"_You always give in."_

_Charlie moaned as Sands began to rub harder, her hips unconsciously responding, causing water to spill over the sides on the bath. _

"_Say it." He urged as his other arm wrapped around her waist, clutching her to him._

_Charlie didn't want to give him the satisfaction and let him knew he had that power over her, though he did. She buried her head in his shoulder, her breathing rapid._

"_Oh God…"_

"_Sugar, if you don't give me what I want, I can always stop, remember?" He said, referring to when they were fighting in Lupe's kitchen and he pulled the same move. "Do you want me to stop?"_

"_No, don't…Don't stop."_

"_Then do what I want."_

_Charlie knew she was close. She placed her mouth against his shoulder if only to muffle any sounds she did make. _

"_Whoa sugar, I didn't know you were a biter." He smirked. "Though I'm okay with that, as long as you tear those pretty little lips away and say my name."_

_Charlie was about to give in before she came up with another idea._

_Sands frowned when she reached down and took his hand away. "What are you…?" He had his own case of restricted breathing when she shifted her body so before he knew it, he felt himself glide inside her as she lowered her hips. "Jesus, sugar…"_

"_I've got an idea. Why don't you say my name for a change?" She smirked._

_Sands grabbed her hips as she moved up and down, her head careening slightly, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open, biting her bottom lip every so often. He reached his hand up and pulled her hair out of the bun it was in, watching the waves slide down her shoulders and some strands falling in front of her breasts which were now above the water. He watched with fascination as water dripped from the hardened peaks and into the water where just below, she was using just the right moves to control him. He couldn't resist bringing his head forward to cover one of her breasts with his mouth, licking away the water. Charlie's audible sighs spurred him on as her hands delved into his hair._

"_Char…"_

_Sands stopped quickly and looked up at her to see her smirking._

"_Yes?" She asked breathlessly._

"_Oh no, sugar, that doesn't count." He said, wrapping her arm around her tightly and pulling her to him, causing her hair to fall in front of her face. He turned his head to see the tea candles in glass holders behind him had been extinguished by the splashing water so he swung the arm that wasn't holding her to knock them off. Charlie heard the glass shatter on the floor before Sands turned her quickly and placed her to sit on the counter, her back against the wall as he began to thrust into her more aggressively._

_Charlie was trying desperately not to call his name. She called for God several times but not his name. She could feel herself waning though. _

_Sands smirked. "I'm gonna win."_

"_No, you're not." She gasped before Sands pressed his lips against hers, the kiss just as aggressive as his thrusting. His arm was still around her waist and the other one snaked under her thigh, squeezing it softly as she scratched her nails down his back._

_When the kiss parted, Sands kept his lips an inch from hers. "Come on, sugar, we both know I'm gonna win." He smirked, breathless._

"_If I don't win, I won't have sex with you for the rest of the day." She panted._

_She saw a flicker of uncertainty in Sands' features before he was smirking again. "You're bluffing."_

_Charlie was trying very hard to keep in control of herself. She knew she was near her brink and she knew when she came; she'd scream anything he wanted her to. "You wanna…Oh yes…Yes…Don't stop…"_

"_What was that, sugar?"_

_Charlie tried to regain some sliver of herself. "You wanna risk it?"_

_Sands quickened his thrusts, so vigorous that Charlie's hands had to leave his back and steady her on the counter. He watched her as her body moved and he watched as her orgasm overcame her, the loud moans escaping her lips and he knew it was coming, he was going to win._

"_Sh…"_

"_Charlie…"_

_She didn't smirk at him, she didn't even register her victory, instead she moved her body forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her face finding its way back into his neck as he came inside her, his own control being lost to her._

_When they got their breaths back, Charlie dislodged from her hiding place at his neck and looked up at him. "Why did you let me win?"_

"_I couldn't risk no sex when it's that good." He shrugged. "You're a dirty fighter."_

"_Anything to win." She smirked._

"_I thought I could say the same but now that's ruined." He looked around at the mostly empty bath, most of the water now covering the floor along with shards of glass before looking back at her, still slightly breathless with red cheeks and red marks on her breasts from his mouth. "Though I gave it a good try."_

"_Good is an understatement. If you hadn't let me win, you'd be gloating right now because I was ready to give you whatever you wanted."_

"_I guess it's nice to have a worthy adversary, for a change."_

"_Are you talking about you or me?" She frowned._

"_Both." He smirked. "I have a feeling we won't find better than each other. At least, I never have and if you say anything positive about that fuckmook…"_

_Charlie chuckled, running her hands through his hair. "I know I shouldn't but I kind of enjoy seeing you jealous."_

"_Oh, you do?"_

"_Kinda. Makes me feel special."_

"_Sugar, I could make you feel special in much more ways than jealousy." He said, his hands going up her torso and letting his thumb run along her nipple. "It'd be my pleasure."_

_Charlie smiled, and grabbed one of the towels from the sink counter, covering herself. She put a stray piece of hair behind her ear and Sands could practically feel that confidence in her drain, the insecurity coming back to her._

"_Why do you do that?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_You're always so quick to cover yourself, like you've just realised what you did and feel ashamed."_

"_I don't feel ashamed."_

"_Then don't act like it." Sands said, pulling the towel down so she was exposed again._

"_I don't. I never cover myself up after sex."_

"_Not when I was blind. Or maybe you did, I don't know but what I do know is I've never been the one who tries to make the time together after sex last. I do weird shit for you, you know that?"_

"_You mean, things that show you care?"_

"_Yeah, that."_

_Charlie smiled and leaned in, kissing him again. It wasn't a fiery kiss like during their tryst, it was the kind Charlie really liked to have with Sands. _

_Like always, the tables turned after Charlie tried to make things a little more sentimental and it was Sands that grew uncomfortable when they parted._

"_Well, sugar, I don't know about you but I'm absolutely famished." He said, pulling himself back from where he feared his emotions were bringing him. _

_Charlie resisted her urge to sigh. "Yeah, sounds good."_

_She didn't know how this seemed to always happen, how they could go from something as personal and connected as sex and great sex at that and then when it was over, be completely bereft of anything to say that didn't sound awkward. She didn't know if Sands felt the same way or if he preferred that they didn't show their affections too much, rather leaving their genuine feelings to be conveyed whenever they pushed each other off the ledge like they'd just done._

_Charlie brought the towel up to cover herself again as Sands stood to get out of the bath, minding the glass on the floor. He wrapped his own towel around his waist and as Charlie was going to stand, he lifted her out of the bath and onto the floor._

"_I could have walked, you know." She said with a raised eyebrow but smiling nonetheless._

"_And stepped right onto glass. I don't want this day to be scuppered by me having to take you to the emergency room for stitches. We've already done that and I distinctly remember it resulting in no sex."_

_Charlie rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. "I distinctly remember the only reason we had to go to the emergency room so I could get stitches was because you ripped them."_

"_Semantics. The point is if we go to the emergency room, there's no time for sex."_

"_Oh, that's why we wouldn't want to go?" She teased._

"_Also, I wouldn't want to see you hurt, yadda, yadda, yadda…"_

_Charlie laughed and lifted herself into his arms properly, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Better."_

"_Careful sugar, or my towel is going to fall down."_

"_Promise?" She smirked._

_Sands held her tighter. "Sugar, you are just surprising me in all kinds of ways."_

_Charlie smiled and left his arms. "Come on, let's go call room service."_

_Sands frowned. "What? I was just going to put you on that marble countertop and…"_

"_No, no, no, you're the one who said you were starved." She shrugged, mischievously before walking back into the bedroom. Sands followed her in._

"_You're a tease."_

_Charlie smirked back at him. "Just taking you down a peg."_

"_I need to be taken down a…"_

"What are you doing out there?"

Sands turned quickly, coming out of his happy place. He saw Steven Macintosh now awake and standing and looking for an explanation.

"I'm your new bodyguard, remember?"

"Yeah, I know but what are you doing on my balcony?"

"Surveying the grounds." Sands shrugged. "I had nothing else to do until you woke up."

"Don't bother; you're not going to be here very long."

"You're going to fire me?"

"No, you're going to quit." Steven turned and began walking out of the room. "They all quit."

"Don't worry; I've worked with people who were hard to work with before. I'll survive." Sands followed him as he went down the stairs.

"I'm not worried. Nathan thinks that getting people around me like bodyguards and maids will make me act with decorum." He walked into the kitchen and found a bottle of whiskey. "He hasn't been right yet."

Sands wished he could quit. "You're the head of one of the biggest companies in the world and you're throwing it all away from booze?"

"Surely I'm not the first rich guy you've heard of that developed a vice." Steven said.

"No, you're not but the ones I've heard of usually lose everything."

"How horrible for them." He didn't sound too worried about his own fate.

"You're not worried the same thing will happen to you?"

"Do I look like a man who cares about his own wellbeing?"

"Uh…No. No, you do not." Sands surmised. "But your company…"

"I could sell my company tomorrow and still have enough money to live off for ten lifetimes."

"Rub it in, why don't you?"

"No, at the moment, my company is not the most important thing to me." He poured the whiskey into a tumbler glass.

"Your daughter is?"

Steven looked at him suspiciously.

"You were talking about her a while ago." Sands said. "I put two and two together and got four, not that hard. You're only interested in your daughter."

"Is that a surprise?"

"I thought you two don't talk anymore." Sands was surprised when Steven filled another glass and passed it over to him. "You said she hates you."

"She does. She should. Do I look like someone you'd want as a dad?"

"Your daughter doesn't talk to you because you drink?" Sands frowned. Was that it?

"No, I drink because my daughter doesn't talk to me but I don't know why I bother. I don't want her to see me like this."

Sands pulled Steven's glass away. "Then why keep doing it?"

"Because I could be the best person in the world and it wouldn't matter." Steven shrugged, pulling the glass back and gulping it back. "So why bother trying?"

"Why keep trying to get in touch with her if you don't think she'll ever care?"

"She's my kid. I love her more than anything in the world."

_You don't even know her anymore._

"So you're not going to stop trying?" Sands asked.

"Nope."

"Then why not get cleaned up? If you're not going to give up, that means you still have hope she'll forgive you and if you don't want her to see you like this, you need to stop drinking."

"Easier said than done."

"Not with my help."

Steven looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You're not some kind of rehab coach that Nathan hired to pose as a bodyguard, are you?"

"No, I'm just dedicated."

"To a man you met half an hour ago?"

"To my boss. He signs my cheques."

Steven cracked a smile at that one. "That I do. You're hoping you'll get one hell of a raise?"

"Just someone sober enough to actually sign my cheques to start out." Sands shrugged. "I have a feeling that'll come when you actually become someone your daughter would want to see."

"That'll never happen. I've called her-"

"Is that all you do? Call her?" Sands asked. He was curious about that. Did she have letters hidden away somewhere? Unopened and detailing their secret, maybe? If he knew there was something to look for…

"I've come up with a million and one ways to try and get her attention." Steven said. "On her twenty-first birthday, I sent her a brand new silver Ferrari convertible. I'm telling you, this thing was a work of art. Next week I read that some charity was donated a brand new silver Ferrari convertible to be put up for auction. That stung."

Sands had to admit, even he felt burned by that one. He could have had the opportunity to drive that car if she'd kept it.

"I've sent her so much jewellery, I'm pretty sure I've bought out several stores. Harry Winston, Cartier…"

"Tiffany's?" Sands suggested.

Steven frowned at him.

"Just…Girls like Tiffany's." Sands shrugged. _Wow, he really doesn't know her._

"She's sent them all back. I've sent her enough bouquets of flowers that she could start up her own florist's but I don't even know her favourite one..."

_Pink Lily._

"…I've sent her designer clothes and shoes and bags and anything that I could think of. Everything gets sent back."

"Did you ever think," Sands began. "That she doesn't care about money?"

"I know she doesn't but what else is there?"

"I don't know." Sands realised he probably wasn't the best person to ask that question to. Charlie had made him realise that money didn't make a person but he didn't think he'd ever shake wanting an endless amount of it. He just didn't want any of her money.

"If I don't use money, I just have to use myself and that's a little hard when she refuses to talk to me." Steven said.

"Have you ever tried to see her face to face?" Sands wondered.

Steven didn't reply, instead slugging back another glass of whiskey. That was enough to let Sands know the answer was no.

"I don't think either of us is ready for that."

"If you're as desperate as you say, wouldn't you have tried? What you did couldn't have been that bad, could it?"

Steven was looking at him suspiciously again. "Are you a reporter?"

This took Sands by surprise. "What?"

"You seem awfully invested for someone who just met me and never met her. Answer the question."

"No, I'm not a reporter." He huffed. "Do reporters try to sneak into your house?"

"More than I like. Apparently, the fact that I have an estranged daughter is newsworthy."

Sands shrugged but the thought that reporters might even follow or try to get in touch with Charlie didn't escape him. "You're an alcoholic over it, I think it warrants interest."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Who wouldn't?" Sands took the bottle and capped it. "But it ends now."

"Excuse me?" Steven frowned.

"You may not care about your company but how do you expect to send all these expensive gifts to your daughter if you go broke? You're not drinking anymore."

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm your boss."

"You won't be anyone's boss for much longer."

"The company is fine."

"Oh, yeah? And how much longer do you expect Wyman to carry you without getting pretty damn frustrated? It's not like you're trying to help. Before you know it, he'll have bought out your side and have you thrown out on your ass."

"He never would. He owes me too much."

"Yeah, because greed never overtakes someone's senses." Sands scoffed. "You know what, your daughter is freakin' smart to not want you in her life. Who would want to be involved in your mess?"

"Don't talk about my daughter."

"Why not?" Sands asked. He had no patience left and he was genuinely glad this guy wasn't in Charlie's life. She really didn't need it. "I know just as much about her as you do." Sands lied. He knew more about her than this man. "You don't even know what kind of person she is. What kind of a dad does that make you?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Hey, at least I didn't ruin my kid's life. At least I didn't drive her away so far that she won't even pick up a phone. At least I didn't drown my sours in alcohol because I was feeling sorry for myself instead of actually focusing on her like you should have. At least I didn't become some pathetic coward who blames everyone else for the fact that my daughter hates me and she has every right to!"

Steven swung for him but Sands stepped out of the way and pushed his arm so he fell to the floor. Steven tried to stumble back up.

"Your daughter would be ashamed of you." Sands said and he knew he was right.

"Get out. You're fired."

Sands glared before turning and leaving the house, pulling out his phone and dialling.

"Trevor Hartford."

"I can't do this." Sands told him. "You picked the wrong guy and it backfired. I can't investigate her family."

"You have a mission…"

"The guy already fired me! He's a drunk who doesn't even care about his company! How the fuck am I supposed to get anything out of him about Sharma when I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know who Sharma is?" Sands asked. "Why the fuck did you think this game was a good idea? It's been nearly a year since she and I happened and you're still messing around with us? What's the point in that?"

"Sands, this isn't the first time you've met a hurdle on a mission. Work around it."

"You've never been trying to make me fail a mission before!" He said angrily. "If this was any other agent, you would have sent him in as an investor but no, I got the role of Macintosh's babysitter because you want me to fail!"

"Why would we want you to fail?"

"Because it proves that I can't do good work where she might be involved and you'll have even better reasons to keep us apart!"

"We don't need any other reasons. Although, if you want us to reconsider our stance, maybe you should actually do some good work and get the job done to prove she doesn't affect how you act as an agent."

Trevor hung up the phone and Sands let out an aggravated sigh. "Fucking fantastic."

He frowned when he got another phone call.

"Hello?"

"You got fired already?" Wyman asked.

"Your business partner is an idiot."

Wyman sighed on the other end of the phone. "Come back to the office."

"I got fired. I don't have to."

"If you want to get rehired, yes you do."

Sands debated just going home, grabbing Charlie and decide to try make a run for it. He could see how that ended though and it wasn't very good.

"I'll be right there."

* * *

_Why is everyone staring at me?_

Charlie walked through the CIA building and did not understand the looks she was getting. Was there something wrong with her? Did she have something on her face? Was a note attached to her back? She really couldn't understand the sly looks she was being thrown.

Deciding that she might be imagining it, Charlie kept walking but another agent bumped into her, copping a feel at the same time.

"Jeez, sorry about that." He smirked. "I guess I just miss physicals."

Charlie tried not to look around but she could hear sniggering. She didn't want to see that and she didn't want to see the good guys, the agents who never bothered her but didn't want to get involved for their own sakes, feeling sorry for her. She walked into the office kitchen when she saw it was empty. She didn't know how much more of this humiliation she could take.

_The cheap shots and the jokes I can handle but if they start putting their hands on me…_

She didn't drink coffee but she began to make some, just to have an excuse as to why she ran in here when she felt someone push her up against the counter.

"Oh, sorry." An agent called Lovett said, backing away from her. "This place needs to be bigger."

Charlie nodded and tried to keep her hands from shaking out of anger. She froze when Lovett reached over her to get something on her other side, his arm brushing against her breast.

"Oh, sorry about that." He smirked.

Charlie should have just walked away but she was getting sick of being bullied around her workplace. "Just walk behind me next time."

She looked back down at the counter but felt herself get pushed against it again with Lovett pressing up against her from behind. His arm reached around to grab another napkin. "Like this?"

"Not unless you want to get fired." She said angrily.

"You can't fire me and I think it's been made clear that you enjoy this kind of behaviour."

"Excuse me?"

"First Sands then Thompson? Is it alphabetical order or does anyone have a shot?"

She was getting pretty frustrated with him talking into her hair. "Get off me."

"I'm not on you."

"Get away from me, then!" Charlie said loudly. Despite how angry she was, she couldn't even turn to face him.

Lovett stepped away from her. "Alright, lighten up. You'd think after banging two agents, you'd unwind a little."

Lovett left the kitchen and Charlie got her breath back.

_What did Thompson tell them?_

* * *

"What do you want?"

Wyman turned from the windows when Sands walked back into his office. "Fired in under a day. I think you broke the record."

"I'm not going to work with someone who doesn't even work." Sands said. "What was my purpose? To sit around all day and make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit? The guy needs a rehab coach, not a bodyguard."

"I'm glad you realise that." Wyman walked over to his desk. "You're not done."

"I'm pretty sure I am seeing as he not only fired me, he also took a swing at me. Safe to say, I'm not his favourite person."

"You kept talking about the daughter." Sands was getting annoyed that the only thing Charlie was known as was 'the daughter' like she was some untouchable, horrible, foreboding topic. He was pretty sure he had yet to have anyone say her name to him. "I told you not to talk about her."

"He brought her up, what was I supposed to do?"

Wyman scrutinised him. "It's interesting how you're willing to go against the only thing I told you not to do if it means he'll clean up his act."

"It is?"

He nodded. "Every other person I've sent into that house, bodyguards or maids or personal trainers, they've all found out about his bad habits and they've all connected it leading back to her. But I told them to drop it and they have and not long after, they either give up and quit or Steven gets drunk and fires them because he doesn't want anyone in his house."

"Yeah, but I didn't drop it and I still got fired."

"I know. Steven was really furious with you, more furious than he's ever been. He said you kept talking about her. It was the first time he's sounded sober in a long time. That means you hit a nerve which means you got to him. He knows you're right but he doesn't want to hear it. You're going to make him listen to you, the way he hasn't listened to anyone else."

Sands had a feeling he only listened to him because deep down, Sands knew things about the situation that no one else would. He hit a nerve because he understood the trouble there; just no one knew he did.

"So, what now?"

"Now," Wyman smirked. "You work for me."

"For you? You want me to be your bodyguard?"

"I want to keep you around. If that means you're my bodyguard then that's what we'll call it."

Sands shook his head. "I don't understand. Why keep me around?"

"I want Steven to get better." Wyman shrugged.

"Then get him to admit to rehab. Keeping me around to piss him off isn't going to help." Sands didn't know why he was arguing. This would be getting the case back on track and in a better position since Wyman would definitely be dealing with Sharma but it was all too suspicious. "I mean, why keep me around? You've only known me for a day."

"This isn't about you, Sadler. You're available for hire and I want to hire you."

"To keep me around Macintosh?"

"For my own reasons." Wyman said.

"What makes you think I'm willing to stick around?"

Wyman picked up a pen and wrote down something on a piece of paper. He handed it to Sands. "Your raise."

Sands looked at the paper. He was positive that Wyman got the number wrong. "What the fu…Are you sure you didn't add a zero or two by mistake?"

"Nope. I'm a very rich man who's used to getting what he wants. Not many people say no to me and when they do, I up my offer." Wyman smirked. "So, do you want to be a very rich man too?"

"Yes…Yes I do." Sands said, not taking his eyes off the number.

"You'll get that pay every week you work for me." Wyman continued. "And once you're finished working for me, you'll never have to work again."

Sands could see that. He'd never have to move again. He could pay people to do everything for him.

_Charlie and I would never have a fight about who pays again._

"So, Mister Sadler, what's your answer?"

Sands looked up at him. "I think I'm going to be very happy here."

Wyman chuckled. "I think you will be too. I hope you understand if I pay you cash in hand seeing as if you're getting paid that much, people will ask questions."

Sands realised he might have gotten into something shady. It seemed shady things were often happening around here and that's why he was there in the first place. "Of course."

"I look forward to working with you."

* * *

_Please work quickly._

Charlie knocked back the aspirin and downed them with water. She sighed as she looked out her window. After what had begun happening today, she had tried to find Thompson to see what he'd been saying and try to get him to tell the truth or she'd report him but then she found out that Thompson had been sent out of the country and she didn't know when he'd be back. Now it was her word against his and Charlie knew which one the other agents would believe. Needless to say, the headache at the end of her day was immense.

_What am I going to do?_

She couldn't stop herself from wanting to cry. She would never let herself though. She never cried over work and she wasn't going to start now.

She frowned when her phone rang so she picked it up, walking back to her window before she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, sugar."

Charlie couldn't resist a relieved smile breaking out on her face. "Hey."

"You alright? You sound upset."

"No, I'm just…I'm glad you called me. It's nice to hear your voice." It was the truth. It'd be even nicer if she could be wrapped up and hidden in his arms where she felt safe but she'd take what she could get.

"Seriously, is something wrong? Did something happen?" Sands asked, sitting up on his bed. He didn't like the emotion in her voice and with the worries he'd had for her anyway, a million things went through his head.

"No, I'm just really happy that you're actually calling me while on a mission."

"That is what I'm doing." Sands smiled, growing relieved that nothing was wrong. "Is it that exciting?"

"It is when I didn't think you could."

"Wow, you're easy to please. How's my baby?"

Charlie smiled. "You better mean the dog."

"Of course. I would never call you baby. I hate calling women baby or babe. Makes me feel like a kiddy fiddler."

"Charming."

"No, sugar suits me just fine."

Charlie turned to look at Buster. "Well me too and your baby is currently lying on the floor on his back and dreaming happily if his kicking is anything to go by."

"And how's my sugar?"

"Doing the same thing."

Sands chuckled. "Seriously."

"Seriously? Seriously, I'm missing you. I want you home."

"I'll be home as soon as I can. Everything is going quite smoothly." He lied.

"That should be some comfort but in the CIA..."

"I know. How were the physicals?"

Charlie paused. "The physicals?"

"Yeah, how did they go?"

"Oh…" Charlie definitely couldn't tell him over the phone. "They were fine."

"No problems?"

"None at all." She lied, feeling awful about it but it's not like he could do anything while in London so why make him angry?

"They didn't even say anything?" Sands frowned.

"Well, I mean the sly remarks were there in full force but I just ignored them."

"Good girl."

"The best." She said, hating herself.

"So, is there any other news?"

"Uh, no. Not really." She tried to think of things she didn't have to lie about.

"Nothing's happened at all? You have nothing for me?"

"I don't think so."

Sands grinned, lying back on the bed. "I suppose I've asked enough polite questions to get us to this point. What are you wearing?"

Charlie looked down at her pyjamas. "Use your imagination."

Sands smirked. "If I imagine you naked, will it come true?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"On how hot I get."

"Oh sugar, you just wait until I get home."

"I can't wait. Do you have any idea when you're getting home?"

"No. The sooner, the better. I don't know how much longer I can wait to see you."

This made Charlie smirk. "You'll be in for a little surprise when you do."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm. I dyed my hair."

That surprised Sands. "You did?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I thought I'd ease your mind."

Sands frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"The same reason I am now always armed. He's not going to come near me if he's looking for blondes, is he?"

"So you did it for me?"

"No, I'm just trying to get you to see the bright side instead of the blonde side. I did it for me. I got bored with the blonde."

"So you're not blonde anymore? At all?"

"Nope."

"Don't you think that was something we both should have had a say in?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "No."

"It's just…I liked the blonde. What colour did you go?"

"I went back to..." She picked up the discarded box the dye came in. "Rich mahogany."

"Which is woman-code for…?"

"Dark, dark red."

"Wait, isn't that the colour your hair was when we met?"

It was. It was also the colour of her hair when she was respected for being a doctor by the agents and not some sex object put there for their amusement. She wanted her old respect back. The agents only started sexually harassing her after she turned blonde, Sands had punched Thompson only the next day, and now she wasn't anymore. Though that wasn't a real reason, she tried to convince herself.

"Mhmm."

"Really?" Sands was beginning to like the sound of that for one very specific reason. "The colour you were when we had sex for the first time?"

"Yup."

"Well, that makes it a bit more interesting. I've never seen you that way."

"It's not that different." Charlie frowned.

"But it's colour it was in the motel room?"

"Yes."

"Maybe a little re-enactment is in order when I get home." He smirked. "Do you remember that night as well as I do?"

Charlie smiled." Oh yeah."

Sands decided it was time for some fun. "Really? Now that I think about it, I'm a little foggy. Why don't you remind me?"

"We had sex." She teased.

"I was actually thinking about a bit more detail."

"Oh, well…" Charlie bit her lip. "We were on the bed, and you were kissing me, your hands went down to my thighs…"

"Hmmm?"

"Then I reminded you that the door was unlocked." She smiled.

"We can skip this part, you know."

"And you banged your shin off the bed."

"Charlie…"

"Then we were kissing again and I took off your shirt."

"Now, that's more like it." Sands smirked.

"My skirt and your pants soon followed. You started kissing my breasts…"

"Wait, where are you?"

Charlie frowned. "I'm standing at my kitchen window, why?"

"Because this would be a lot sexier if I knew you were lying on your bed too."

Charlie bit her lip before walking over to the bed. "Okay…" She lay down. "Now, where were ye?"

"Well, I was firmly planted between your breasts." Sands smirked. "I quite like it here."

"Well, I like to think I have a very hospitable rack."

Sands had to laugh at that one. "That you do."

"Oh, really?"

"I'd happily visit there again."

"We'd be delighted to have you, all three of us."

"So, uh, are you doing what I taught you?" He smirked.

Charlie knew that was coming. "No…"

"And why not?"

"You may have to give me a refresher course." She said in what she hoped was a seductive voice.

"Oh, really? But you passed with flying colours when I taught you last time."

"Good times."

"Hmm, I'm remembering Turkey a lot today for some reason."

Charlie smiled. "Really? I'm remembering Mexico a lot right now."

He couldn't help but smirk. "Hmmm, well I'll finish telling our Mexico story if you finish Turkey's lesson plan."

Charlie bit her lip. "I can do that."

"Good, now back to kissing your breasts…"

"_Come on, let's go call room service."_

_Sands frowned. "What? I was just going to put you on that marble countertop and…"_

"_No, no, no, you're the one who said you were starved." She shrugged, mischievously before walking back into the bedroom. Sands followed her in._

"_You're a tease."_

_Charlie smirked back at him. "Just taking you down a peg."_

"_I need to be taken down a peg?"_

"_In my humble medical opinion." She said as she looked down at the menu. She felt as Sands sidled up behind her and started kissing her neck, his arms going around her towel-cladded waist. She tried not to be distracted as she looked down at the food choices but soon found herself losing. "Stop. What do you want?"_

"_Well…"_

"_On the menu!" She clarified quickly._

_Sands chuckled. "Alrighty then." He took the menu out of her hands and looked over it. He walked in front of her and sat on the bed. Charlie was surprised when he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his lap without even taking his eyes off the menu. "Hmmm…"_

_Charlie smiled. "See anything good?"_

_Sands looked her up and down in his lap, still wrapped in a towel. "Oh yeah."_

"_Seriously."_

_Sands sighed and looked back down at the menu. "No fun."_

"_Excuse me?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. _

"_I said I'll have what you're having."_

_Charlie smirked and took the menu. She got off his lap and reached over to the phone, dialling for room service. She felt Sands hand roaming her uncovered back as the towel had slid down to her waist as she spoke on the phone. After a while they were replaced with his lips. When she put down the phone, she turned quickly so her lips caught his. He grabbed onto her waist tightly as they kissed passionately and after a while, Charlie felt how he turned so she was on top of him, her hair cascading down around them._

_She parted her lips from his breathlessly. "Wait."_

_Sands frowned. "What?"_

_Charlie slid off him to lie next to him. "Why don't you go on top for once?"_

"_Once?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. "I've been on top."_

"_Not as much as I have."_

"_I didn't realise this was a tit for tat situation. Well, I guess I'm the tat part…"_

_She slapped his arm lightly. "I guess we shouldn't have sex with the food on the way. Wouldn't want to get caught doing that."_

"_Wait, who said no sex?" He frowned, turning to lay his upper body on hers. His hand ran along her thigh. "I am more than willing to put the work in."_

"_Oh, really?" _

"_Sugar, I am not liking that you consider me lazy in sex." His hand went to the inside of her thighs._

"_I never said you were lazy, I don't think…Ah…" Charlie let out a gasp when his fingers started stroking her and undoing her like they always managed which was why he loved doing it. "I can't get over how good that feels…" She moaned._

_Instead of enticing him further, this made Sands stop. "What?"_

_Charlie opened her eyes and frowned at him. "What? Why did you stop?"_

_Sands frowned. "What do you mean you can't get over how good it is? Why is it new?"_

"_Because it didn't feel good when he did it. It was all jabbing and…"_

"_No, I get that but what about you? You haven't ever done it to yourself?"_

_Charlie looked at him incredulously, a reddish tinge coming to her cheeks. "Of course I haven't."_

"_Wait a minute; you're looking at me like I'm the crazy one." Sands said, shaking his head. "How can you never have done it?"_

"_I don't know, it's embarrassing."_

"_Embarrassing? How? It's just you!"_

"_Okay, I'm getting dressed." She replied, going to get out of the bed._

"_No, no, wait." Sands said, wrapping an arm around her waist to stop her. "Look, I'm just surprised. You were in that dead relationship for so long and God knows you weren't getting what you needed. Hell, people in good relationships still take care of themselves once in a while."_

"_I just…I haven't ever…I mean, I've considered it but…"_

"_Alright," Sands smirked. "Give me your hand."_

"_Wait, what? Why?"_

"_Sugar, trust me." He said, taking her hand in his. "Look, to make it less…"embarrassing", turn around." Sands turned her slightly so her back was against him and his arm that was holding her hand was still wrapped her, the other hand on her stomach. "After all, if things go our way, I'll be gone a lot."_

_Charlie frowned back at him._

"_I mean with work." He clarified._

"_Oh."_

"_So really, it's a good thing you're figuring this out." He felt her tense and he smirked. "Don't be nervous. Just follow my lead." He brought her hand down to go between her legs. To put her a bit more at ease, he began kissing her neck as he led her fingers along a route his own had taken several times. Even though, she was doing the work, it felt like a great rush for him when her breathing quickened. He brought his head up from the crook of her neck to watch her reaction, seeing her mouth slightly open and her eyes closed. Her cheeks were still red but not out of embarrassment now. He craned his neck slightly to look over her and his eyes scrolled down her sweat-laden chest which was rising and falling quickly with her breathing._

"_You like that, sugar?"_

"_Oh God, yes…" She whispered breathlessly. Every so often, she'd let a quiet moan escape her lips which Sands loved to hear. _

_Sands took away his hand when he knew she had finished and leant down to press his lips against her cheek. "How'd that feel?"_

_Charlie opened her eyes, realising what she'd just done. "I can't believe I just did that."_

"_You enjoyed it though."_

"_Can't deny that."_

"_I don't know what you felt so ashamed for."_

"_I just…" Charlie didn't know if he was aware of it but he was making her feel childish. "Before you, I never really liked sex. To be honest, you're the first person I've ever wanted to have sex with."_

"_Sugar, I gotta ask," Sands began. "How did you stay with a guy for ten years if you didn't even want to have sex with him?"_

"_Because I didn't think sex was any big thing. I didn't know it could be like this."_

"_Then why did you think everyone else liked it?"_

"_Everyone else likes coffee and I don't, I figured it was like that."_

"_Comparing sex to coffee…"_

"_Is that sacrilegious in your book?" She smiled._

"_I suppose there's an addicting quality to both…"_

_Charlie turned to face him properly. "Thank you for proving that sex is better than coffee."_

_Sands couldn't get over how much he loved her seeing her smile like that with her messy hair and dewy complexion. It didn't make him want to have sex with her over and over, it just made him want to keep looking at her and it made him want to smile himself instead of smirk. It was an unusual feeling for him. He just wanted to look at her almost invisible freckles or her green eyes._

"_Any time, sugar."_

"Still better than coffee?"

"Uh-huh." Was all Charlie was able to manage as she got her breath back. He'd finished a couple of minutes before her but hearing her pant like that made him want to do it all again. Unlike when they were together and he tried to make sure she'd been satisfied before he let himself go, he could do it with ease and then help her finish afterwards. Charlie let out a content sigh. "We're definitely recreating our first night together when you get home."

Sands chuckled. "Yes, we are. I'll finally be able to see what you were doing that night."

"I would have hoped you'd felt it."

"One of the best feelings in the world, sugar."

Charlie smiled. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." He felt a little easier being affectionate over the phone but not always.

"How's London?"

Sands jarred. "Hmmm?"

"Is it nice? I've always wanted to go there."

"You have?"

"Mhmm."

"Then I'll take you." Sands said.

Charlie chuckled. "It's a nice offer but I don't think we'd get away with that."

"I'm serious. I'll work something out." He replied.. "I'm not an agent of the Central Intelligence Agency because of my charms, you know."

"I do know that." She joked.

"So I will take you there when I come home, I promise." He meant it too.

"There?"

Sands frowned. "What?"

"There? Aren't you 'there' which would make it 'here'?" Charlie asked.

"Well, I'm in the rough parts. I'm not taking you here. I'll take you to there, to the city." He covered. "You have my word."

"Then I believe you." She said seriously. "I'm looking forward to it."

Sands smiled. "Me too."

Charlie sat up, feeling awful that he was trying to be so sweet and she was lying to him. "Sands, I…"

Her voice trailed off which made Sands frown. "Charlie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." She began. "I just…I really miss you."

"Charlie, come on. I know something's wrong." He tried to prompt her. "Just tell me. I don't care if I'm not in Virginia and can't do anything, if there's something wrong, I want to know."

She sighed quietly. "Sands…"

"Did something happen? Did someone do something to you?" Sands asked. "I'm begging you to just tell me or else I'm going to imagine all different things and it'll drive me insane."

"It wasn't that bad…"

"Just tell me." Sands knew he was convincing her. "Please."

"Alright…"

Sands thought he was going to kill someone when he heard another call coming in. He debated with himself before realising if it had to do with the mission, he had to answer. "Sugar, I'll call you back in two minutes."

"What?" Charlie frowned.

"Other call coming in. Two minutes, I promise." He reverted to his other call. He tried to keep his tone from being annoyed but couldn't. "Hello?"

"I need you to come in to the office."

Sands wanted to groan. He was much more interested in this man's daughter right now. "When?"

"Now."

"Is there something wrong?"

"Just get in here."

Steven hung up and Sands huffed, dialling Charlie's number again.

"Hello?"

"Sorry about that, sugar."

"I would have waited." She said.

Sands knew that but couldn't risk being on the phone to two of them at the same time. "I'm not good at call waiting. Look, I hate to do this but…"

"You gotta go." She surmised.

"Will you tell me what's wrong before I go?"

"There's nothing wrong."

Sands sighed, realising he'd missed his interval and she had clammed up again. "I'll try and call you tomorrow?"

"No, don't." She sighed. "I'm working at the hospital tomorrow and tomorrow night."

"So when can I talk to you?" He asked.

"I guess we'll try to work something out." She shrugged.

"Alright," He said. "I love you."

"Yeah, love you too. Bye."

She hung up her phone and Sands huffed.

"Great…"

* * *

"What do you want?"

Sands walked into the closed offices which contained no one but the security guards and the CEO along with his business partner.

"You're working for him now?" Steven asked, indicating to Wyman.

"He offered me a job." Sands shrugged. "So I took it. I was recently fired from my other one, you see."

"You are messing around in things bigger than you're anticipating." Steven said to him which Sands highly doubted.

"Steve, calm down." Wyman said. "So I gave the guy a job, I like him."

"You're doing this to annoy me!"

"You spoke to him for about twenty minutes; you can't hate him that much."

Steven glared at Sands. "I really can."

Sands rolled his eyes. "Look, just because I have no problem telling you that you're a fuck up…"

"You don't know anything about me!"

"Just that your daughter is right to want nothing to do with you."

"Stop talking about her! You don't even know her!"

Sands was tempted to tell him that not only did he know her but what he'd just been doing with her on the phone.

_Huh, maybe I am an asshole._

_So, what? I still know her a hell of a lot better than this guy._

"Alright, calm down." Wyman said. "Steven, he's right. You're ruining your life and you know it. I just want to help you."

"By hiring him?"

"If that's what it takes to get through to you, he hasn't said anything yet that's been untrue. I mean, what if Charlie actually does pick up the one when you call? You'll be too drunk to even talk to her. But you met him today and look at you, you're sober as a judge because you wanted to think clearly when talking him," He pointed to Sands. "Down."

"Wait," Sands frowned, looking at Wyman. "You hired me to be his punching bag?"

"Like I said, anything to help." Wyman shrugged. "You two may hate each other but neither of you are leaving my side."

"Fine by me." Sands shrugged. "As long as he stops acting like such an ass. He's the CEO of a company and he can't even walk straight and when someone points out this fact, he throws a tantrum."

Steven huffed before looking at Sands. "Why the fuck do you care?"

Because Charlie didn't deserve a father like this. "I just do."

"Fine, you want a job? I'll give you a job." Steven nodded. "I'll do what you both want," He looked between the two before pointing at Sands. "If he does something for me."

"He will." Wyman said.

"What?" Sands frowned.

"You work for me; I say you'll do it."

Sands looked at Steven. "What? What do you want me to do?"

"Find my daughter and bring her to me."

* * *

**I was going to put a companion piece of Ch.35 of RTG into Secrets but decided it would work better here so I've been saving it! Also, I posted a picture of what Trevor looks like onto the tumblr if any of you are curious. I think most of you probably know what he looks like anyway!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Greta Gilbert was lounging in her back garden, enjoying the sun when she heard a knock on her door. The last thing she wanted to do was get up and answer it. She just wanted to relax on her day off but as the knocking persisted, she realised the person at her door wasn't going to go away. She got up and walked through her house to get to her door, opening it to see an unfamiliar man standing on the other side.

"Uh, can I help you?"

"Greta Gilbert?" The man asked.

"Yes, that's me." She frowned. "Do I know you?"

"No, my name is Sheldon Sands." Sands said. "I'm here to talk about Charlotte Macintosh."

Now that wasn't what Greta was expecting. "Charlotte Macintosh? I haven't seen that girl in years. Go away."

She went to close the door but Sands stopped her.

"No, wait. I know Charlie." He explained quickly. "I'm her…" He tried to think of a word that wasn't boyfriend. He hated the word boyfriend. "Partner." He took out his wallet and showed the woman the picture he had inside of the two of them, one of the less indecent ones that had been floating around the office for months. Understandably, Charlie didn't know he had it on him or she might not have been too happy but despite all the trouble these pictures caused, Sands liked them. "See? I'm not a reporter or anything, I know her."

"Is that Charlie?" Greta looked at the picture. "My, she's looking well."

"I know you stopped working for Steven Macintosh right after she stopped speaking to him." Sands said, putting his wallet away.

"That's right, I did. So, what?"

"I want to know why."

Greta seemed a little iffy but eventually opened her door wider. "Come in."

Sands walked inside and followed Greta into the kitchen where they both sat down.

"Now, Mister Sands," Greta said. "How did you know I used to work for Steven Macintosh?"

"I've recently started working for him, he doesn't know I know Charlie, and I've been doing research into why they don't talk anymore. That's how I found out about you."

"Why are you so interested in why I gave up my job?"

"I know something happened between Charlie and her father but I don't know what."

"And you want me to tell you?"

"Steven Macintosh is trying to get her to talk to him and he's not playing around." Sands explained. Ever since Steven's offer, Sands had been doing some research into what he was getting himself and maybe Charlie into. He hadn't agreed to anything yet and he wasn't going to if he couldn't find all the facts. His research told him the facts lay with this woman. "If I knew what exactly happened, I would know how to handle this situation better. I mean, is this just a pride thing and seeing each other would be unpleasant but they'd get over it and move on once someone made the first move or is seeing her father going to kill Charlie?"

Greta sighed. "Normally, I'd say everyone deserves a second chance, especially family but Charlie had a good idea not letting her father back into her life. That man is poison."

"What did he do?"

"Every kind of drug you can think of."

"I meant to Charlie." Sands said.

"It's more what he didn't do for her. That man forgot he had a daughter half the time she was growing up. He thought buying her nice presents would make up for not bothering to show up on her birthdays and Christmas. He would tell her he would take her out and it never happened. Broken promise after broken promise, he just didn't make an effort."

"Is that what made her stop talking to him? He kept letting her down?"

"It should have been but that girl just craved her father's attention. Every single time she got an award or an achievement, she'd call up so excited and it broke my heart to constantly tell her that her father couldn't talk or couldn't come to the ceremony. Every time she called though, she was just as hopeful as before, even if it was just to talk. It must have been difficult to work so hard and have no one care, no one be proud, except her grandfather."

"She's mentioned him alright, more than she has about her father."

Greta sighed. "That man adored the ground she walked on. He treated her like she was a princess. Every time Steven let her down, Reginald was there to pick her back up and that was a lot. He got older though, got sick and couldn't do as much with her anymore either. All he wanted was Steven to make an effort. He'd burst in and just give his son hell over it and ooh, that temper was not to be taken lightly. As much as he was a Godsend to Charlie, he was a devil to Steven, not that he didn't deserve it. We were all secretly thankful when he came in and started shouting because it meant Steven would get his act together, for a few days at least."

"So what happened to make them stop talking altogether?" Sands asked.

Greta went silent.

"Greta?"

"I'm not sure."

"You're not?" Sands frowned. "But you have an idea?"

"The head maid, Delia, she knew. I think she did, anyway. The rest of us just had our ideas. None I'm telling you." She said quickly. "I'm not letting myself get in trouble and getting on that man's bad side, trouble is all you'd get. All I will say is that the morning after Steven's birthday is what truly cemented that man's place in hell."

"What did he do?"

"They were in his office, Charlie and himself, and the doors were closed but a few of us listened on the other side. It wasn't quite clear but we could hear her crying, begging him to listen to her and him shouting that she was wrong, she'd been bad."

Sands frowned. "She'd been bad?"

"Every teenager makes mistakes but he was ruthless."

"Wait," Sands was confused. "You're saying she did something wrong?"

"I don't know. She just kept crying and saying please. Eventually, he told her to get out and she did, she went home. Delia followed her and helped her pack which is when she found out, I think. I haven't seen Charlie since."

"This Delia woman knows?"

"Knew. Delia is in a care home now with advancing Alzheimer's. But as Charlie was packing, Delia went to Steven's office and those two started arguing too. By the time Delia had come out of that office, she had quit. She and Charlie left on the same day. Steven came out of his office a few hours later and told me and another maid, Wendy, to finish cleaning Charlie's room as Delia had started but wouldn't be finishing. I don't just mean tidy, I mean get rid of any trace she'd been there. He wanted that entire room scrubbed and polished and rid of any reminders she'd stayed there for the past few weeks."

"Wait, he was cutting her out of his life?" Sands couldn't understand. He'd always believed that it was Charlie who had cut off contact, not Steven.

"Seemed so."

"Why did you quit?"

"Steven just spiralled out of control after that, worse than ever." Greta grimaced. "No one could put up with it. I left first; the rest weren't long to follow."

"So you don't actually know what happened?"

"Like I said, I have my ideas."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"If Charlie hasn't told you, it isn't my place."

"But…"

"It isn't my place, Mister Sands." Greta repeated. "Maybe instead of coming here behind their backs, you should tell both of them that you know the other, especially Charlie. She won't appreciate this secret."

Sands sighed. "That I do know."

* * *

"Damn, I love those little office dresses."

Charlie ignored the comment and kept walking through the CIA library. She had been getting it all day and frankly she was sick of it. She was very close to punching the next person who even looked at her. She began looking through the stacks and when she realised what she was looking for was on the top shelf, she stepped up onto the ladder to reach it. She huffed when she heard a whistle.

"I do love a woman up top."

"Fuck off, Rush."

"I'm sorry, did you say 'off' or 'me'?" The man smirked.

"Very funny." Charlie pulled out the book and stepped down the ladder. "Please leave me alone."

She turned to walk away but when she felt a hand pinch her behind, her anger got the better of her and she turned around, punching him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid bitch?"

"Put your hands on me again and you'll find out." Charlie threatened.

She was about to walk away when Rush grabbed her wrist tightly. "Don't forget, your boyfriend isn't here to hide behind now. Either of them."

"Let me go."

"Make me."

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Both Charlie and Rush looked when an unfamiliar man strode up to them angrily. He was tall and muscular with piercing icy blue eyes and dark hair, stubble covering his chiselled jaw and he was wearing a suit. Charlie had definitely never seen him before, she would have remembered. He looked like he belonged in a designer ad, not in the CIA library.

"Leave her go." The man said to Rush who still had his hand on Charlie's wrist.

Rush took his hand away. "Relax, we're just joking around."

"We? She didn't look very into it."

"Well, that depends on who you ask. A lot of people around here say-"

"I don't care what they say; I care about what she says." The man turned to Charlie. "Well?"

Charlie was frozen for a second before rolling her eyes at Rush. "Just get out of here."

The man sneered and walked away quickly, glad to have an excuse to leave.

Charlie turned back to the man. "Thank you but you didn't have to do that. That guy's a scumbag but he's useless."

"Well, being a scumbag at work gets you fired so he oughta remember that." The man turned to Charlie. "You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm not some damsel who needs to be rescued so please don't treat me like one." She looked up at the man to see him looking at her with raised eyebrows. "I'm sorry. I'm just annoyed. Thank you for intervening. I'm Charlie Macintosh; I work in the Medical Department." She said holding out a hand.

"Doctor Charlotte Macintosh?" He smiled, displaying a straight row of white teeth. He shook her hand. "I'm really looking forward to working with you. I'm Dean Harper, the new head of the Medical Department."

Charlie's face dropped. "What?"

* * *

"You gonna do it?"

Sands shrugged as Wyman took a swing at the ball with his golf club. "I can't. If she won't talk to him on the phone, she's definitely not going to come see him in person and I think kidnapping her would probably be illegal."

Wyman watched as his ball soared through the sky and landed. "So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to work for you." Sands put his own golf ball on the tee. "Like you pay me to."

"Getting used to the feeling of being rich yet?" Wyman smirked.

"Nope." Sands thought it'd be easier than it was; he thought he'd be better at it. He supposed it was weird to now have the money he had, and was getting every week, and still have to get up and go to work each day. He was still a CIA agent. He couldn't run around, buying yachts and fly off to Aruba; he just had to act normal.

"I thought the car would ease you into it."

That was another surreal aspect of this job that Sands had experienced. He had been going out to drive to work one morning when the valet of the condo apartment building he was staying at pulled around a gleaming, brand new black sports car.

"This isn't my car." Sands frowned though he had been half considering saying that it was.

"I was instructed by my manager to bring this car round for you." The valet said.

Sands had walked back inside and found the manager. "I know you luxury condo guys like to go all out with your pools and gyms and your valets and all but I think a gift for new residents is usually chocolate on the pillow or something, not an Aston Martin DB9."

The manager smiled. "It is a gift of Mister Wyman. He instructed us to not tell you until you asked for your car."

"Wait, Nathan Wyman just brought over a car? With no reason?"

"You are his employee, are you not?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Well then, you should know of his generosity. The man is very well known for his philanthropy."

"So this guy just goes around, giving people money and expensive gifts? That's…Normal."

Wyman had just shrugged it off, saying it was a welcome present. Apparently it was normal for him. When his old personal assistant had quit, saying he wanted to spend some time travelling the world, Wyman had paid for all the flights and expenses as a thank you gift for all his hard work. He'd bought his secretary her own horse and stables, her personal hobby, for her birthday and he'd paid for his PR girl's wedding when he learned that her father had passed away a year before. Apparently, he was just a very generous guy. When Sands had wondered why, he had a simple enough answer.

"I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't have countless people around me, holding me up. I like to let them know they're appreciated and what's the point of having all this money if I can't spend it on the people who helped me get it?"

Apparently, Nathan Wyman was the complete opposite of Steven Macintosh who fired and scolded his employees without hesitation. It wasn't any big surprise that Steven was going to hate Sands more for turning down his order to find Charlie and Nathan, as he scoured the green for his ball, was quick to point that out.

"And what about when Steven? He's going to hate you."

"He already hates me. He's just going to have to keep on hating me." Sands hit the ball and watched it land before the two began walking. Wyman had refused a cart, saying it was too sunny to not walk. "I can deal with that."

"Hmm, he's not going to like me either. I said you'd do it. If you back out and I don't fire you for going against what you were told to do, he'll know I'm not on his side."

"Are you on his side?"

"Usually, I would side with him but you're right. If she doesn't want to see him, he's gonna have to respect that." He agreed. He looked at Sands' shorts and 'C.I.A. Cleavage Inspection Agency' t-shirt. "You know, this place has a dress code."

"I don't do sweater vests." Sands said, looking over Wyman's sweater vest and khakis. "I'd rather just be thrown out."

Wyman chuckled. "You won't be thrown out. I own this place."

"Of course you do."

"What can I say? I like golf and scotch." Wyman smirked.

"It must be very hard to think of an idea for a gift on your birthday."

"People manage. My second wife was great at thinking of ideas for gifts. She was also great at screwing the gardener while I was at work which is why she's now my ex-wife. You ever been married?"

"No."

"Got a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Sharon will be happy to hear that, I think she has her eye on you."

"I'm not interested." Sands said shortly, thinking it was better to nip that in the bud quickly.

"Oh, I didn't realise you were…" Wyman trailed off.

"No, I'm not gay." Sands replied quickly. "I'm just not interested."

"Not even in a bit of fun?"

"Not even."

"I'll never understand guys like you and Steven. You got the world at your feet and you're afraid to step out the door." They got to Wyman's golf ball and the man took a golf club from the caddy. "You need to learn to live a little, just do what you want to enjoy yourself because tomorrow, you might be dead." He swung the ball.

"And having sex with your secretary is going to achieve this mentality?"

"She's a pretty girl."

"Who I'd be seeing day after day. Could get awkward." Sands thought back to some of the women in the CIA who looked for his blood now. They were not the easiest to work with anymore. For him or for Charlie which she never let him forget, another perk.

"Well, it's up to you." Wyman shrugged. "All I'll say is stay away from Teresa. Steve would hate you even more; she's the only one he's kept around."

"Teresa?"

"His secretary. You met her your first day, she brought you up to my office."

"Oh yeah."

"If he didn't like you now, he definitely wouldn't like you after finding out you were banging his secretary. That'd be the worst thing you could possibly do."

Sands had a feeling he could probably do worse.

Later that evening, Sands was back in his hotel room, in the shower when he heard a noise outside the bathroom. He stopped the water and listened, knowing he'd put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door so no one working at the hotel would come inside. He listened closely and soon heard footsteps outside. He got out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist before realising he didn't want to have to fight an intruder in a towel so he hurried back into his clothes. He got his gun off the counter by the sink and snuck over to the door. He didn't hear anymore footsteps but he wasn't taking any chances. He opened the door quickly, coming out and aiming his gun into the room. His intruder didn't even look from where he sat on the bed.

"Who are you?" Steven Macintosh asked as he looked down at something in his hands.

Sands frowned. "How'd you get in here?"

"I have my ways. Who are you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sands said. "You know who I am."

"I'm beginning to, Sheldon."

Sands' eyes widened. "What did you just call me?"

"Sheldon Sands, CIA agent and," Steven sighed before looking up and holding up the picture in his hand. The same picture that had been circulating around the CIA offices for months, the one Sands wouldn't put in his wallet, the one that had caused so much trouble to Charlie's reputation. "Not the kind of man you want to see your daughter with."

Sands stayed silent.

"Not the kind of picture you want to see your daughter in." Steven went on, throwing the picture of Sands' head buried in Charlie's neck and his hand high up on the inside of her thigh, easily seen thanks to her short dress, onto the bed.

"Where did you get that?" Sands asked.

"It was sent to my office today, no return address so I don't know by whom. Someone who doesn't like you, probably. I have a feeling that's a long list."

He was right but Sands had a few ideas. "And how did you go from finding out I know Charlie to finding out my real name and where I work?"

Steven pulled a folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket. "From the letter than accompanied it. It's all here, your name, a photocopy of your I.D. and all the tales of you nearly getting my daughter killed."

"Do they mention where I saved her life too?"

"Why are you here?" Steven asked. "Is it to find out about Charlie's past or is it official business?"

"I can't say."

"Official business it is, then."

Sands sighed. "Harish Sharma."

"Thought so. I know it may not seem it but I do still know some things about my company, regardless of what Nathan thinks, and I know that Sharma isn't the most…Reputable of contacts but alas, it's one we have and at the moment, it's the only one I could think of that the CIA would want in on."

Sands didn't like where this was going.

"I'll give you everything," Steven said. "I'll let you sit in on meetings, I'll give you all the paperwork, I'll give you contacts, every nugget of information I happen to find out, every location, every hour of Sharma's day will be yours."

"If I bring Charlie to you." Sands surmised.

"It'd be easier than I thought. She obviously trusts you, for some reason I can't fathom."

"I can't do that." Sands said. "I would like for her to keep on trusting me and bringing her to you would definitely put an end to that."

"Not if we organise it well enough." Steven said. "I could reorganise to hold the meeting with Sharma at our New York offices."

"Closer to Virginia…"

"It'd be easier to get her to New York than to California."

"No, it won't. I can't go anywhere with her. The CIA won't let me."

"Why not?"

"Just won't." Sands shrugged. "I guess that's that plan screwed. Oh well…"

"Then I'll go to Virginia." Steven said quickly. "You can bring her to me there."

"No, I can't. Then it'd be both of us she would no longer talk to."

Sands could tell Steven's brain was racing. "Not if she thought it was a coincidence."

"What? You just happen to be in Virginia?"

"I have to fly all over the country with the company; I could have to fly there."

"No, it's…"

"A charity ball."

Sands frowned, was this guy on coke again? He was going a mile a minute. "What?"

"I'll organise a charity ball, anonymously, and you'll bring her."

"No, the CIA would find out."

"How? It's just one night."

"They're the CIA." Sands was pretty sure the CIA would be okay with this plan; they wanted him to get caught out. They'd probably insist he take Charlie. They were probably the ones who sent those photographs because who else had them?

"Tell them the truth, the best way to catch Sharma is to let you bring my daughter to me. She won't ever know you were involved beforehand."

"She's smart, she will."

"I'll act like I've never met you."

"I'm not doing it."

Steven stood up. "Think about it. Would you rather risk her finding out or would you rather definitely fail at your job? I doubt the CIA takes kindly to failure."

"I'm not doing anything if I don't know why you two don't talk." Sands said. "What happened?"

"You're not calling the shots anymore." Steven walked over to the door. "Let me know."

He left the hotel room and Sands walked over to the photo on the bed.

_I'm fucked._

* * *

"What the hell is this?"

Crowley looked at Dean Harper who Charlie was now indicating to furiously. "It's a man, Macintosh."

"Don't play dumb. Why is he saying he's the new Head of the Medical Department? I'm Head of the Medical Department." She frowned. "Are you firing me?"

"Would you like that?"

"Just answer."

"We're not firing you. Harper here is the new Co-Head of the Medical Department."

Harper looked at Charlie. "Sorry for the scare."

"You don't scare me." Charlie glared at him. She turned back to Crowley. "There doesn't need to be a co-head. I'm fine on my own."

"Look, Thompson's gossip spread pretty quickly." Crowley went on.

"It's not true! " She defended. "I would never-"

"Macintosh," Crowley cut her off. "I know that. Hartford knows that, Waitrose knows that. Fuck it, half the guys out there who keep harassing you know that Thompson is full of bullshit but regardless of that, they will keep using it against you."

"So fire or suspend them!"

"For what?"

"Harassment!"

"Sure, just show me your proof and I'll be happy to."

Charlie looked at him incredulously. "Since when was the victim the person in automatic doubt?"

"These are special agents, Macintosh; they're skilled in covering their tracks. If you make a formal complaint, an investigation will take place. Is that what you want?" Crowley asked in a tone letting Charlie know exactly what he meant.

She stood up straight. "No."

"So here's a fun little solution for everybody. Those guys get punished by getting a male doctor, no offense Harper…"

"None taken, sir."

"…And you get to do your job and keep your dignity. It's a win-win."

Charlie still wasn't happy which she made evident when she turned and stormed out of the office.

"Doctor Macintosh, wait."

Charlie stopped and turned as Harper ran after her. "What? What do you want?"

"Look, I know this isn't the best situation for you…"

"Nope, no it isn't." Charlie said. "I am apparently a damsel in distress and you get to swoop in on your white horse and come to my rescue, well done. Good for you."

"Hey, I have no doubt in my mind that you would be able to put those assholes in their place but the fact of the matter is, you shouldn't have to." Harper replied. "You should be able to do your job."

"I was doing my job just fine."

"Oh, I know. Why do you think I agreed to take this job and move to Virginia? I wanted to work with the first doctor to perform a successful eye transplant."

Charlie frowned. "You know about that?"

"Who doesn't? You should make so much more of a big deal about it. If it were me, that's how I'd introduce myself; 'Hello, I'm the first doctor to ever successfully give an eyeless man the gift of sight and what have you done with your life?' Has a nice ring to it."

Charlie laughed ."I guess so much happened right after that I never really got a chance to be proud."

"Well, you should. Especially under the circumstances, doing it when you weren't approved. A lot of people in the medical field respect you for that."

"They do?"

"Oh, yeah. So sorry for stealing half your job but my motives were purely selfish." Harper smiled. "I needed to act like a raging fan in person."

"Well, I guess I can tolerate that. I do love hearing about how people enjoy my work so much." She quipped.

Harper chuckled. "Hey, I haven't really gotten my bearings around here yet, would you mind showing me around?"

Charlie smiled, deciding having an ally around here that she could actually talk to might not be a bad thing. "Sure."

* * *

"What do you mean your cover is blown?"

"Don't give me that." Sands said angrily into his phone. "You were the ones who sent him the pictures."

Trevor frowned. "Sands, we would not blow an operation just to annoy you. We didn't try to blow your cover."

"Believe it or not, I don't trust you. So what am I supposed to do now? He wants me to bring him his daughter and last time I recalled, I'm not even allowed near his daughter."

"Then don't do it."

"He said the only way I'll get information on Sharma is if I do. Otherwise, he's going to tell Wyman and they'll cut off all contact with him until I'm gone and they'll be smart enough to know if you send another agent in."

"Then do it."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Bring Charlie to see him."

"I can't do that."

"I'm saying you can. If it's supportive to the CIA's cause then that's more important."

"So you're going to let me and Charlie-"

"No. No, no, no. You two aren't allowed do anything. This is simply work. Your contact is looking for a bribe, you bring him the bribe and you leave it there. You don't hand over money and then take it back to keep for yourself, do you?"

_Sometimes. _

"She's not money."

"To you, that's all she is. Anyway, after this, she's going to hate you so much, she's not going to want to be with you which is perfect since you two aren't allowed be together so you should have absolutely no objections to doing this since if you still care about her, it would be easier for her to hate you and not be near you than to care about you and not be allowed near you so really, you're doing a noble thing here. You're giving her the opportunity to rebuild a relationship with her father and you're making it so she doesn't have to miss you. That's doing a nice thing for her so do you have any objections?"

Sands was silent.

"Sands? Do you have any objections?"

"No."

"Then come home and get her. See; don't say the CIA doesn't do you any favours."

Trevor hung up and Sands considered throwing his own phone against the wall, only stopping himself when he realised that he'd need it to call Charlie.

_After she never wants to see me again, then I'll throw it against a wall._

* * *

"Wow, this is really good."

"I told you."

Harper smirked at Charlie as they sat in her office. "Alright, I won't doubt your judgement again."

"Don't. Knowing all the best places for lunch in this town is a point of pride for me." She said.

"Not all the surgeries and breakthroughs?"

"A very close second."

Harper chuckled. "Well, anything is better than mac and cheese every night."

"Mila?"

"Is still guilting me into making her favourite food. I don't know how much longer I'm supposed to let her before I put my foot down." Mila was Dean's four year old daughter who was not appreciating the move to Virginia, Charlie had learned. "She's turning five soon and I asked her what kind of party she wanted and she said none because she doesn't have any friends because of daddy's new job. That bought her another week, at least."

"That must be tough." Charlie empathised.

"It is but she's at that age. I thought that this job's more flexible hours would be better because I could spend more time with her but she's still…" He stopped talking when Charlie's phone rang.

She picked it up. "Hello? I'm on lunch. But I…Fine." She put down the phone and stood up. "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to cut lunch short. Trevor's asking to see me in his office."

"Oh, okay." Harper stood up too. "I'll see you later. Good luck."

"Thanks." She left the office and walked down the halls to Trevor's. She frowned when she walked inside and saw Sands already occupying one of the seats. "What's going on?"

"Sit down."

Charlie sat down.

"You two need to work together."

That took her by surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Sands is on a case, he needs someone to pose as his girlfriend, you have the most experience for the job."

Charlie looked at Sands whose expression told her that Trevor wasn't joking.

"Wait," Charlie frowned. "Sands needs a fake girlfriend so you thought I'd be a good idea? Not a chance. The CIA would never let that happen."

"We would if it benefited us and at the moment, it does." Trevor shrugged.

"But I'm not even an agent."

"Exactly why we need you." He nodded. "We don't need an agent, we need a girlfriend and you should be more than capable of doing that."

"No." She replied.

Sands had to resist smiling but he knew he could depend on her.

"What do you mean no?" Trevor frowned.

"I mean I'm not doing it." Charlie said. "You forced us to stay away from each other and we stayed away, you can't just turn around and change your mind when you want and then keep us apart again. That's not fair. You either let us do what we want or you enforce your own rule, there's no in between."

"There is if we say there is."

"Why couldn't a female agent pretend to be his girlfriend?" Charlie asked though the thought of that actually happening annoyed her straight away. "Someone who has experience in missions?"

Sands knew the answer. Because he wasn't dealing with their estranged fathers, just hers.

"Because they all hate him." Trevor explained. "We needed someone who might actually be convincing in their love for him and I think you're the only one left."

"So the CIA, who has been keeping us apart for nearly a year, has just decided to throw us together without a qualm?" Charlie speculated.

"Well, when we say the mission ends, the mission ends and so do the covers."

"That's not fair." She frowned. "You can't just let us be together when it's convenient for you and then separate us when it's not. We're people, not pandas."

"You're employees of the CIA and you have to follow orders."

"She said no." Sands shrugged. "Being an agent is not her job and you're not her boss."

"And here we thought you'd be happy to see her," Trevor said to Sands. "And thankful to us for letting you two be together but asking you to thank someone is always asking too much."

"She could get hurt."

"Then you should make sure to protect her. You're good at that. Sometimes." Trevor looked between the unhappy two. "Come on, you two are getting a golden opportunity. It's better than nothing, right?"

"No!" Charlie said, annoyed. "You can't do this!"

"Well, we are." Trevor picked up an envelope on his table. "Look, it's one night where you two get what you want. You dress up, go to a ball and not have to worry about us finding out. Sands gets in touch with the contact he has to get in contact with and you two enjoy yourselves. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Yeah," Sands said, sarcastically chirpy. "And then the morning after, we'll watch as the horse gets shot in the head and made into glue."

"Maybe if you do this right," Trevor replied. "The bosses might see you two being together as handier than you two apart."

"Well, that's a load of bullshit." Sands got up from the chair and took the envelope out of Trevor's hand. "You're using us and not caring about the aftermath."

He left the office and was soon followed by Charlie.

"Sands, wait."

Sands turned to her before grabbing her arm and pulling her into her own office, closing the door behind them. "What are you doing? You trying to get us caught?"

"Apparently, it doesn't matter. We're allowed be together until they say so." Charlie shrugged. "Are they really doing this?"

Sands nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" She frowned.

"It was all kinda fast." He lied. "I only got back this morning."

"You still could have warned me this was going to go down." She tried to make him look at her. "Sands? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was trying to talk Trevor out of this."

"You were? Why?"

His eyes finally met hers. "Because you're going to get hurt."

"Hey, I've been through worse than high-class functions." She smirked, trying to make him feel better. "We'll go, meet your contact and then go back to my place for the rest of the night." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "No pain and lots of gain."

That's where she was wrong but he couldn't tell her that.

"Your hair is pretty."

Charlie smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad you like it."

"Charlie, you have to promise me one thing." Sands said.

"What is it?"

"That, no matter what happens at that function, whatever I have to do with my job, you will remember that I love you. You will remember that you mean more to me than anything."

Charlie frowned. "What's going on?"

"It's just…You've never seen what I do on missions before. I have to do some bad things sometimes, betray people and associate with people that I don't want to."

Charlie bit her lip. "Isn't this just talking with a contact?"

"Things could get a little messy."

"Messy as in innocent people getting hurt?"

Well, she was right about that. "Don't worry, there won't be any bullets flying."

"Then I can handle it." She smiled. "I mean, I'm not going to see you differently if things turn a little ugly. I mean, if this person is a CIA contact, they're not going to be very reputable, are they?"

Sands sighed. "No, not really."

"Then trust me, I won't see you any differently."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Sands kissed her, hoping she was better at keeping her promises than he was.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the new developments! Things are about to get sticky!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"You gave Rush a black eye?"

Despite the anger in Trevor's voice when he stormed into her office, Charlie looked quite proud. "Yes, I did."

"What the fuck possessed you to do that?"

"He put his hands on me; I put my hands on him."

"You can't do that!"

"If you said that to your agents from time to time, things like this mightn't happen!" Now she was getting annoyed. "This sexual harassment stuff is getting out of hand and you people aren't doing anything about it!"

"We brought in a new doctor!"

"No, Crowley did! You haven't done anything! You're too busy protecting your agents to do something about it!"

"Until you make a formal complaint, there's nothing I can do."

Charlie glared at him. "Yeah, right. I am sick to death of hearing that. Trevor, I have done everything this agency has wanted. I work here, I do my job with no problems and I have followed all your stupid rules. I'm even going to that stupid function with Sands even though I don't want to."

"If you never wanted anything to do with Sands, there wouldn't be a problem."

"Or I just don't enjoy being used and controlled. I work here just the same way you do. I deserve a little respect. I work to help these guys and all I get back is ass grabbing and cheap come ons."

"I thought you said that stuff didn't bother you?" Trevor shrugged.

"Not when it was just jokes and name calling. Now they think they can do whatever they want because of what happened with Sands and they know they'll get away with it because you guys aren't exactly on my side anymore. I can put up with the pithy remarks but not when they put their hands on me. That shit has to stop. If you're not going to stop it, I will."

"Like I said, make a complaint about someone and we'll look into it."

Charlie was going to snap if she heard that one more time. "Unbelievable. You know everyone will deny it."

"It doesn't matter, we still look into it."

"And I seem like some sour bitch who had to go running to the people who trapped me in this hellhole in the first place."

"Hardly a hellhole…"

"To me, it is. Anywhere you're forced to be when you don't want to be there seems that way. Then it'll go from me being easy to me being a bitch and nothing gets easier."

"Well, you have Harper now. Give him all the agents you don't want to deal with."

Charlie couldn't help looking at him indignantly. "Remember when we used to be friends? What the fuck was I thinking?"

"Yeah, and remember the time you swore you'd never let Sands get to you? That was a croc of shit."

Charlie frowned at him. "Please don't tell me Sands was right."

"Right about what?"

"That the reason you got so hard on us when you found out, despite the fact that you always try to protect your agents no matter what they do, is because you were bitter because I turned you down in the past."

"Well, isn't someone full of herself?"

"No, but you can't deny that your attitude towards me has changed. A lot. You think I deserve everything I'm getting."

"I never said that."

"You never had to." She replied.

"I just find it a little grating that someone who said she wants to take her job seriously and breaking the rules wouldn't be doing that threw all her morals out the window for someone she can't even stand half the time."

"I wasn't lying to you when I said that. What happened between me and you…"

"Nothing happened between me and you, remember?"

"What nearly happened then, wouldn't have worked. I was new to this job and I didn't want to risk it by messing up so early. Plus, another big thing, you're married. I know that may not matter to you but it did to me."

"Don't bring my wife into this."

"Someone should once in a while. You should. Me? I was not risking my job."

"But risking it for Sands, who was walking on thin ice as it was, was fine? Even though it was made obviously a lot of times that he only wanted one thing?"

"And you didn't?" She hit back. "You were going to quit your job and leave your wife for me?"

Trevor didn't reply.

"Don't act like you would have treated me any other way like you did Melissa or whoever. I was just the new girl who posed a new challenge."

Trevor, in all honesty, couldn't deny that. It's what she had been.

"I can't help the feelings Sands and I have for each other and you should not be bitter that I never had them for you." Charlie said. "You never had them for me either."

He left the office without a word at that. Charlie sighed, feeling rotten over it but really, there was nothing she could do and frankly, she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. It had been this way for a year and it needed to be addressed at some point. It was never going to be pleasant but she'd learned that nothing in this agency was pleasant anymore, just the part when she got to go home.

Considering the day that was in it, Charlie couldn't wait to get home and get comfortable now that Sands was back for a while. He had to leave again tomorrow night so she wanted to make the most of his short visit here before he had to go back and prepare all the necessary precautions for the function they were attending.

_All I want to do is curl up on the couch with him and watch some cheesy movie which he'll mock the entire way through and make me laugh._

Charlie could feel herself itching to get up and go home and make that happen. She looked at her clock to see it was only half past noon.

_Fuck._

* * *

"Welcome back, Agent Sands."

Sands kept walking as Gina Waitrose sidled up to walk beside him as they walked back from the Headquarters Auditorium or 'Bubble' as some agents called it. Crowley's retirement had just officially been announced to the agency and talk of the upcoming promotions was rife in the air. The only person who didn't seem to care was Sands as he walked back into the main offices and now it seemed Gina Waitrose preferred a different topic of conversation as well.

"You haven't visited my office in a while." She said quietly so no one could hear. "Ever since your escapade with little miss medic. Lost your nerve?"

"Not my nerve, just my interest." Sands said. Waitrose could hassle him from time to time but he always tried to brush it off without making his feelings for Charlie clear, otherwise she'd pounce and really make their lives hell, especially Charlie's.

"Ouch." She smirked. "You know, it was really nice of you to have given her that little sexual awakening she so desperately needed so now she can act like a real woman but come on, you can't seriously still want anything to do with her."

Only two people in the entire agency knew how developed Sands and Charlie's relationship had been and they were Crowley and Trevor. To everyone else, it had been a little affair that had to be shut down. No one else, including Waitrose, knew that Sands and Charlie were actually in love. Waitrose never had cause to think any differently since Sands had slept with her multiple times since he'd met Charlie. "No, not so much but if that little embarrassment has taught me anything, it's that the CIA aren't fucking around with their rules which means you and I are no longer fucking around at all."

"Well, that's no fun. I mean, if she can go on breaking the rules, I don't see why you can't. And with Thompson of all people, yuck. I wouldn't even go near him and let's face it; I'm not exactly what you'd call picky."

Sands frowned at her, looking at her for the first time. "What are you talking about?"

"You haven't heard?" She smiled at that, as if she found the whole thing hilarious. "It's priceless. Apparently, during the physicals, Doctor Macintosh gave Thompson more than just a check-up. The entire place has been buzzing about it. I've never liked the girl but I at least thought she had some self-respect. Mounting Thompson on an examination table doesn't exactly scream 'reputable doctor'."

"Did you ever think he was lying?" Sands could feel his anger rising.

"Of course but then Thompson started boasting that if he was lying, how would he have known she was wearing a purple bra or about the scar on her abdomen, yadda, yadda, yadda."

Sands didn't bristle too much at the sound of the scar even though not a lot of people knew that Charlie had been shot in Turkey, luckily that hadn't been leaked into the agency unlike the pictures taken earlier that night and absolutely no one knew of its consequences but himself and Charlie, but it was the mention of the purple bra that filled Sands with dread. Mainly because it was true. He knew the very bra Waitrose was talking about, the purple half-cut one with a small ribbon on the front. He'd often taken it off her, he had the first time they were together in months on the same day they decided to start their affair, but on the morning of the physicals; he'd seen her put it on. How did Thompson know what bra Charlie had been wearing unless he saw it?

_This is Charlie. There's not a chance she'd go anywhere near Thompson, even if she wasn't with you._

_Then what the hell happened?_

_You're only going to find out the truth from one person._

_She should have told me already. If Thompson got anywhere near that bra, she should have told me._

"So," Gina Waitrose went on, not even paying attention to Sands clearly lost in his own thoughts. "You busy tonight?"

"Yes." Sands replied shortly.

"Doing what?"

"Anything else."

With that, he'd walked on faster, leaving Gina Waitrose in his tracks though he had a feeling she'd done everything she intended to do. She had placed that little seed of doubt in his head about the woman who'd essentially put an end to their little affair by starting up a whole new one with him. No doubt Waitrose saw Charlie as usurping her place as using Sands as a stress reliever and ruining the fun for everyone else by getting caught. Only after he came back did Sands realise how much he could get used himself by the women in the CIA when he thought he was using them. It wasn't as serious as the sexual harassment that Charlie experienced but he felt a little indignant about it all the same. They only wanted him for one thing and that felt a little degrading. After all this time, he finally figured out why Charlie held out as long as she had and he had to admit, he now respected her a little more for it.

_Except now all this shit with Thompson._

_It's not true!_

_No, there's no way it's true but why didn't she tell me all this was happening? I told her to tell me. _

_Well, she may not have told me but I know now and I'm going to find out what happened._

When she got home, Charlie found out that this might not have been a pleasant part of her day either because when she opened the door, she was faced with an angry looking Sands.

"What the fuck is this going around about you and Thompson during the physicals?"

Charlie tried to act nonchalant. "You don't seriously believe that bullshit, do you?"

"I didn't."

"But…?" She frowned.

Sands' jaw was tense. "He knew the colour of the bra you were wearing."

Now that shocked her. "What?"

"I heard some guys talking about it today and they were talking about how Thompson was boasting about you giving him a quick fuck at the physicals." It was plain to see just the thought, whether it was real or not, had Sands seething. "Then they were going on about him talking about your…About you and that purple bra and I know that was the bra you were wearing since I saw you put the fucking thing on!"

Charlie was in hell. "Alright, I did lie to you…"

"Jesus…"

"No, please just listen to me!" She said when she saw him get angrier. "Please!"

Sands turned with a huff.

"When I was doing the physicals," She began. She hated saying this. "Thompson…Forced himself on me."

Sands could feel his anger rise straight away. "What?"

"I managed to push him off," Charlie quickly added. "And he kept apologising and saying he'd never do something like that again but then he must have gone around telling everyone we slept together."

"How did he know the colour of your bra?"

"He must have caught a glimpse of it when he was on me or when I pushed him off, I don't know." Charlie defended. "Now some of the agents think it's okay to…Put their hands on me. I never did anything to encourage it, I swear! They just think I'm attracted to assholes."

"Oh, what? Because of me?" Sands shouted.

"No! I don't know! Sands, I didn't do anything wrong! I don't want this to be happening!"

"Then why haven't you said something?"

"Because you'd try and kill them!"

"I meant to the bosses."

Charlie stayed silent.

Sands frowned at her lack of an answer before realising. "They know?"

"I'm not their favourite person, remember? As far as they're concerned, I brought it on myself. What can I do?"

"Does Trevor know?"

Charlie nodded.

"Jesus, what did he say?"

"He said he'd need proof."

"Then bring him some! Do you even care what's happening? Put in some fucking effort!"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Well, I'm angry! This shouldn't keep happening and you're not doing anything to stop it!"

"Yes, I am! I'm trying to make them stop!"

Sands was fuming over something else too. "Why did you lie to me?"

"Because…" She sighed. "You were in London and you couldn't have done anything about it and I didn't want to make you angry over there."

"Was that what you were going to tell me? That night on the phone?"

"Yes…But when you took that other call…"

"So it's my fault?"

"I never said that." Charlie walked over to the counter and leaned back against it. "Look, I know this is a shitty situation but can't we just agree that neither of us is to blame? What is the point in taking it out on each other?"

"I'm not taking it out on you but it is frustrating."

"I know it is."

"Oh, really? Then why don't you help yourself?"

"I'm trying. It's not that easy."

"It could be if you wanted it to be." Sands said.

Charlie frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He seemed to contemplating explaining for shaking his head. "Nothing."

"No, tell me." Charlie was interested now. "Sands? How am I not helping myself in this situation?"

He looked at her. "You're a doctor."

"Yeah?"

"And you wear things like that?" He pointed to the navy office dress she was wearing.

Charlie looked down at her outfit. "What's wrong with my dress?"

"Most doctors wear scrubs. You have to walk around in dresses so tight; I can your kidneys when you wear them?"

She couldn't believe this. "Of course! Of course it's my fault! Of course I'm to blame! I can't believe I thought that wouldn't happen."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Sands frowned.

"My dresses are not the problem." She argued.

"Yeah, I bet they're not. Nice cleavage by the way." He said sarcastically.

"Hey, I've been wearing my dresses long before I even met you and never got any shit so if you want to blame someone, maybe you should take a good hard look at those fucking pictures that have been going around and realise I wasn't the only one in them!"

"So you're saying it's my fault?" He frowned.

"Well, if you can say it's my fault, I can say it's yours! I never had this problem until you came along!"

"Charlie, all I'm asking is for you to not wear the fucking dresses!"

"Tell you what, I'm going to go for a walk, why don't you go into my closet and pick out all the things I like and you don't and just throw them away and have complete control over what I wear? Yeah, then we'll both be happy. You won't have worry that you're dating, oh sorry we're not dating, you won't have to worry that you're fucking a whore and I won't have to listen to any of your bullshit. Win-fucking-win!"

She stormed out of the apartment and Sands looked at the door she slammed shut, genuinely confused.

_What the fuck just happened?_

* * *

"Hey, boy."

Buster had just jumped up on the couch to lie next to Sands who was reading and waiting for Charlie to come back so he could figure out what the hell happened a while ago. Sands was scratching the dog's fur but stopped and when he checked the time on his watch. Seeing how late it was, he got up off the couch and got his phone, dialling Charlie's number. He frowned when Buster repositioned himself on the couch and in doing so, rolled onto the remote control, turning on the television. Sands waited for Charlie to pick up as he went to turn off the television which was once again, showing the only thing that ever seemed to be on anymore; a news report about the missing women. Sands was just pointing the remote at the television when he looked at the screen and froze. The victims' faces were flashing on the screen and it was his first time ever really getting a look at them.

"Hello?"

He didn't reply when Charlie answered.

"Hello?" She repeated.

He realised she was on the other end. "Come home."

"Excuse me?"

"Charlie, get back here now."

"If you're still going to have an attitude then you can forge…"

"Your ex is the one kidnapping all those women."

Now it was Charlie's turn to freeze. "What?"

"Charlie, just get back here now. Come home."

"What are you talking about?"

"Charlie! Now!"

She realised his tone wasn't him having an attitude; he was alarmed more than anything. "Okay, I'm on my way."

"Where are you?" He said, going for the door.

"I was in that café by my building."

"Okay." Sands left her apartment and pressed the button of her elevator quickly. "Be careful."

He hung up the phone and kept pressing the button of the elevator agitatedly until the doors opened. The elevator ride only took about a minute but it felt much too long for him. He couldn't believe what he'd just seen and that he hadn't realised sooner but there was no doubt in his mind.

_Mini Armisen, you psychopath. _

_You're trying to send us a message._

The doors opened and Sands hurried out and through the lobby. He left the hotel and saw Charlie coming up on his right a block away. He practically ran down the street and caught her wrist.

"What are you doing?" She asked with wide eyes. "What if someone sees?"

"Bigger fish right now." He dragged her back inside the building and into the elevators again.

"Sands, what is going on?" She frowned. "What do you mean Barry's the one kidnapping those women? It can't be."

Sands sighed. "Look, when we were in Turkey, you may not have been told the whole story. The truth is your ex is still-"

"Alive, yeah I know." She finished.

Sands looked down at her. "You know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I wasn't sure if you knew."

"You should have said something anyway!"

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Point taken."

"Why do you all of a sudden think that Barry is behind this Avenger business?"

"Have you ever actually looked at all those women?"

"Of course, their pictures are everywhere."

"You don't think it's strange?"

She frowned. "What's strange?"

He really didn't understand. "You don't see it?"

"See what?" The doors of the elevator opened and she stepped out, putting her key in the door. The television was still on but the news was over. "Sands, he's grabbing blonde women so of course you're going to be paranoid but I'm not even blonde anymore."

"You not being blonde isn't going to deter him."

"Why these women? Why these random people who I have no connection to? I mean, from what the police are warning, these women have nothing in common. I don't see anything. There's nothing that connects them to me or each other."

"Except for one very big thing." Sands walked over to the armchair that Buster had decided he preferred the couch and was now rolled up in. Poking out from under him was yesterday's newspaper but Sands had a feeling he'd find what he wanted in it. When he did, he put the pictures in front of her. "This."

"What?"

Sands looked at her. "They all look like you."

Charlie took the paper. "What? No, they don't. This couldn't be Barry; he likes to put on a show. We know that. This guy is too secretive. I mean, even dumping the bodies, Barry would try and make something much more spectacular out of that."

That made Sands frown. "How did you realise he wasn't dead?"

Charlie grew uncomfortable at that. "There was a…He sent me a card on my birthday."

"A card?"

"A scary card with, yes I'll admit, a threat inside saying he was coming to get me soon but that was months ago and there's been nothing."

"You do realise this doesn't ease my mind?" Sands said. "Do you have the card?"

Charlie shook her head. "I brought it into the CIA to run tests on the blood-"

"There was blood?"

"The card was written in blood."

"Jesus…"

"And ran it against the DNA we had of Armisen in the system and they were a match. That's how I knew it was really him and not some cruel trick by the CIA."

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know but I was still hoping." She said. "The card is still part of his file in there."

"So now you see that it's him?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't think he's stupid enough to come back here when he knows the entire police department; FBI and CIA are looking for him. I don't think he'd get back into the country and if he did, would come so close to where he'll definitely get caught."

"People can smuggle into countries all the time."

"I don't think it's him."

"Charlie, come on. Blonde hair, green eyes, your ex is snatching women who look like you so he can dole out his perfect revenge over and over again."

Charlie still wasn't convinced. "Sands, listen to me. These women were all taken from around the area, right?"

"Yeah…"

"If there had been sightings of Barry around here, don't you think the CIA would know? I mean, they've been looking for him for a year, they can't risk him being out there with all the information he has."

"But…"

"And, if he is in the area and wants revenge, why would he be snatching random women when I'm right here?" She asked. "Don't you think he'd be following me or trying to catch me? I haven't noticed anything weird and I'm always looking over my shoulder these days with the CIA and thoughts of him coming back. If he was trying to hurt me, I'd know it but I haven't heard a peep from him in a long time."

Sands had to admit; her points were just as good as he was trying to make his be. Maybe he was overthinking things but now that it was in his head, it was hard to get out.

"And look," Charlie continued. "This girl has brown eyes and those two girls have blue eyes." She pointed to a picture. "It just seems like he's going for blondes and I'm not blonde anymore."

"You really don't think I'm right?" He asked.

"Look, when his preferences change to dark red hair then you will have every right to say I told you so but I honestly don't think that will happen, okay?"

Sands nodded. Maybe he was being paranoid. Those images had just shaken him and he was so protective over her anyway, maybe his brain just ran away with him. But she was right. There was no way Barry could have come and just be wondering around Virginia without the CIA knowing.

"Judy Garland?"

Sands frowned at Charlie to see her looking down at his choice of books which had been disregarded on the couch a while ago. "Interesting lady."

Charlie smiled as she picked up the book. "I'm sure."

"I was reading it in Mexico but I never got the chance to finish it, for obvious reasons. I was packing for…London and I found it so I decided to finish it now I can, thanks to you."

Charlie handed him the book and when he took it, she stroked his arm lightly. "Feeling better?"

"Nope."

"It's not him, Sands."

"I am just…Petrified of someone trying to hurt you." He admitted but not liking it. It wouldn't be long before they went to that function and he was the one hurting her. "That psycho being alive…"

"I know, it's scary." She said. "But the CIA has guaranteed that he won't sneak under their noses and we mightn't be able to depend on them a lot but I believe that. He's screwed them over too much."

Sands nodded. She was right. They may have been a bitch to work for but the CIA was efficient. "I'm going to go take a shower, wash off some of this terror."

Charlie smiled. "Okay. I'll be here when you come out."

Sands walked past her but turned back when he remembered. "Is our fight still going on?"

"I don't know, is it?"

"I like the dresses, I was just angry. I don't care what you wear to work, you could walk in wearing lingerie and they'd still have no right to put their hands on you."

Charlie smiled. "The fight's over."

Sands continued walking into the bathroom, thankful he'd gotten that right. He still hadn't been sure why she was so angry but that seemed to work so he'd stick with it. He took off his clothes and stepped into the shower, never hearing Charlie sneak in and pick his shirt up off the ground and sneak back out. When he was done, he stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. He walked out of the bathroom but found the apartment empty. "Charlie?"

"I'm in the closet!" She called. "I'll be out in a minute."

Sands went to his own drawers and pulled out some clothes, drying himself off and getting into them. He went back into the bathroom to pick up his dirty laundry but found one item missing.

"Charlie," He called out, walking back outside. "Have you seen my shir…" The words died on his lips when he saw Charlie standing at the door of her closet wearing nothing but a pink bra and matching lace underwear and his open shirt. Her lips were graced with a seductive smile. "Wow…"

"Looking for this?" She pinched the fabric of the shirt between her forefinger and her thumb, pulling it back slightly to reveal more of her bra to him. She began walked towards the bed. "It's a nice shirt."

"You can keep it." He was still a little at loss for words. "Sugar, you look…"

"I just remember our first night together in Mexico, you telling me that you loved women wearing their underwear, your shirt and nothing else and since you couldn't see me, you had to make due knowing that's what I was wearing." She crawled onto the bed and knelt up, placing her hands on his shoulders so they were face to face. "After all, didn't you promise we'd be recreating Mexico?"

"Yes, yes I did." He nodded. He got onto the bed too and she made him lie back so she was on top, one hand going under his t-shirt to graze his chest while the other supported her one the bed. His hands went to her thigh and waist. "I didn't think I'd be this happy to know what you looked like when we first met after everything but I really am."

"Well, I was wearing more than just your shirt when we first met." Charlie smirked. "This is a few months in."

"I don't care. You look fucking gorgeous."

Sands had loved the blonde and didn't think anything would be better but the new hair colour was something else.

"Thank you." Charlie smiled as he sat up and she repositioned herself slightly, facing him with her knees bent slightly on either side and her feet flat on the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck with their faces closer together. "I'm glad you like it."

"What would have happened if I didn't?" Sands smirked.

"Not a fucking thing." She replied, raising an eyebrow. "That'd be completely your own problem."

"But you did this for me?" He asked. "So I wouldn't worry about you?"

Charlie shrugged. "I was thinking of going back anyway. It's a lot easier to maintain but if it eases your mind to think some psycho won't be hauling ass with me in the boot of his car then I guess you could say it was for you."

Despite trying to make Sands feel better, her words didn't. His mind was still on it being her ex, no matter how much she argued and how ridiculous it seemed. "Could we curb the talk where you're getting kidnapped and possibly murdered? Thanks."

Charlie brought her face close to his, stroking his cheek. "I'll be okay."

"Promise?"

"I swear."

Sands kissed her, knowing his worries wouldn't ever be completely quashed but at least she knew them and knew to be vigilant. He hated that he couldn't always stay with her but at least he knew she was aware and capable. He looked at her when the kiss parted, seeing her light freckles now that their faces were close. "I can't believe we worked together before I got sent to Mexico."

She frowned at that. "Why not?"

"Because I can't believe that someone as beautiful as you would work around me and I wouldn't have noticed. It's impossible."

He saw her eyes glance down shyly but she was smiling. "I'm glad you didn't. Who knows where we'd be right now if things had gone differently?"

"No, there was never a chance where I wouldn't have done everything I could to make you mine and keep it that way. I'm too greedy and too selfish. You're mine, sugar, regardless of what anyone says or does to you, that's not changing." His mind was on the invitation that was sitting on her nightstand now, the one that was inviting her to a function she had no idea was set up just to trap her. "No one's ever going to be able to take you away from me."

Charlie's green eyes looked into his brown ones and saw no hint of humour in them. She brought her body close to his, hugging into him with her head on his shoulder, one hand going into his hair. "I know that." She said quietly. She thought he had meant the CIA and her ex trying to keep them apart; she had no idea of his true thoughts. "It's you and me; I don't care about anyone else. I love you."

Sands didn't say it back but his turn to kiss her on the cheek and his arms tightening their hold on her gave her every indication that he felt the same.

_Please remember right now next week, sugar, I'm begging you._

* * *

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not even a little bit."

Sands was currently half lying and half sitting on Charlie's bed, propped up against the wall and not looking anywhere near her. The minute he'd started thinking about what next week would bring, he couldn't bring himself to do anything with her, no matter how much he tried. His guilt had overtaken him and put a stop to any plans he had had.

"It happens to a lot of guys…" Charlie was kneeling next to him on the bed, still in her underwear and his shirt but after it had been made clear that nothing was happening or going to happen, she'd tried to make it seem like she changed her mind, that she was relieved he didn't want to have sex because she'd been tired anyway and even though Sands had to appreciate her attempts to make him feel better, none of them did.

Sands looked at her. "Have you slept with a lot of guys?"

"No…"

"Then you're not really qualified to make that assumption, are you?"

"Okay, so I've only ever been with two guys…"

The thought of that made Sands sit bolt upright. "Ever happen to him?"

"Sands…" She sighed.

"Did it?"

"Well, no…" Sands flopped back on the bed, his hands covering his face. "But that is only because we didn't sleep together as much as you and I sleep together and every time we did, it's because he wanted it." Charlie hurried to explain as she reached over and pulled his hands away. "He's a psychopath without any feelings who only finds joy in controlling people and we were never doing it for my amusement so of course he got pleasure out of that but you, you actually care about what I get out of it which means a lot more."

"Oh yeah, I really satisfied you tonight, didn't I?" He quipped sarcastically.

"Yes, you did!" She argued. When it became clear that nothing was happening, she'd started trying little tricks she knew worked on him, or at least they had in the past. She used her hands, her hands and her mouth, she'd stripped what little she was wearing slowly, she'd spoken dirty which she knew he always liked and none of it had any effect. He had noticed how she was getting a little worried in case she wasn't doing anything right and he knew she was thinking she was to blame herself. He'd made her stop and lie down after that, thinking that if he worked his hands and his mouth on her, her own excitement would instil his like it usually did. He'd start out thinking it would work, her attempts and his own on her which she'd seemed to enjoy immensely, but then he'd get a sudden split second thought of how this could be the last time she'd want to be anywhere near him and everything went to hell again. "I am perfectly taken care of." She tried to reassure. "I just wish you were too."

"Believe me, sugar, seeing you like that," He indicated to what she was wearing. "Should be enough. It was. I don't know what fucking happened. Oh wait, no fucking happened."

"Oh come on, so you couldn't rise to the occasion once, I spent years not being able to. One time is not that bad."

"Yeah but I'm actually attracted to the person I'm trying to have sex with."

"It's probably just stress." She explained. "A lot of men- I am a doctor and I know what I am talking about," She said when he was about to object. "A lot of men aren't able to perform when they're stressed or anxious about something."

_How about guilty?_

"I have been stressed before but I've never had this problem!"

Charlie frowned. "Never?"

"Never!" Sands persisted adamantly.

Charlie seemed to be more put off by that than by the entire problem in the first place. "Oh…"

Sands frowned up at her. "What?"

"Nothing." She said, trying to sound like she was telling the truth but failing. "Like I said, it was probably just…Stress."

"It's not you." He realised he'd said something very stupid.

"You've never had this problem before. With other women…"

"Because I wasn't emotionally invested in them like I am with you."

"So it is me?"

"No." Sands said firmly. He was getting everything wrong today, he'd somehow offended her by pointing out that her dresses might not have been the best choice of clothing at the moment, he'd panicked about her ex, he felt so guilty over his betrayal that he couldn't even sleep with her and in that, he'd made her think she was the problem herself. Was he saying all the wrong things or was she picking up all the wrong things? _How the hell did people go through more than one relationship in their lives? I can't even get the first attempt right and it feels like I'm never gonna recover from it._ "You were right, it's just stress. I'm getting back on a plane tomorrow to see out the next part of this mission and it's not exactly being a cakewalk. This has nothing to do with you." He lied, rubbing his fingers along her thigh softly, in a more affectionate manner than a sexual one because that would be useless. "Say you believe me."

"I believe you." Charlie replied. She had to believe that it was to do with work because she'd tried everything she knew that would usually get him aroused and none of it had worked. She had to believe it was work if she ever wanted to keep her confidence around him, that new confidence that had been building up, enough to make her surprise him in lingerie without being afraid he'd laugh at her, because if she thought it was her then she'd never be able to do something like that again.

"You don't sound like you do." Sands pointed out. "Sugar, I need you to know that this has nothing to do with you. Seriously, everything you did was top notch. I like it when you do things like that."

"Clearly."

"I'm serious. The whole appearing in sexy underwear bit needs to happen more often."

Charlie nodded. "Look, let's just forget about it, okay? It was one time. I don't think we need to revaluate our entire sex life because one time wasn't as fantastic as the other times, the many, many other times when we've both been very satisfied."

He really wished he could have told her the truth.

"I'm going to go for a shower." Charlie said when he didn't respond. He nodded, still not bringing his eyes to meet her so she got off the bed and left him alone.

Sands stayed where he was, lost in his own thoughts.

_That could not have gone worse._

_She thinks it's her. Why does she always do that? She always blames herself when it comes to shit like this._

_I suppose it's better than her blaming me._

_I'd prefer if there was no one to blame. I would have preferred if we were having sex right now as opposed to being so awkward over my own stupid guilt, I can't even look at her._

Sands huffed when his phone started ringing. He picked it up and looked at the name appearing.

_S.M._

Steven Macintosh. Sands was nowhere near in the mood for him right now so he let the call ring out. He was not talking to that man in Charlie's apartment and preferably, never again but he knew that wouldn't happen. He got up and got dressed properly before grabbing the notepad by her phone and writing down a message, leaving it on her pillow.

_Taking Buster out. Be back soon._

He put the dog on his leash and left the apartment. He needed fresh air and he needed to sort through his thoughts.

_Alright, this is my last night with Charlie before I have to bring her to her father. I should be milking this night for everything its worth. This is my last night with her._

_Maybe ever._

_No, this is the problem. I keep assuming she'll want nothing to do with me after this. Maybe she'll understand that I had no choice. She knows what the CIA is like. She has to put up with enough of their shit. She has to deal with nothing happening with agents who harass her like Thompson._

_Thompson. I'm gonna fucking kill him. I am going to full on hobble that fuckmook._

Sands let his imagination run away with him for a while at the thought of his revenge before bringing himself back to his more prominent problem.

_It's not like she actually has to talk to her father. That wasn't in the arrangement. All I have to do is bring her there; I don't have to make her do anything else. If she wants to leave straight away, I'll take her away straight away. If she gets one glimpse and tries to run, I'll let her. I did my job; no one can say I didn't._

That gave him a sudden thought.

_Maybe I could tell her beforehand. Let her know everything that's coming and she'll be prepared. _

_No, that will never work. She'll hate me for lying and she'll hate me for asking her to do it. No, I'll have to act as if I had no idea her father was ever there. I can do that. I will just act as shocked as she is. She'll never have to know I was involved. Macintosh said he'd act like he doesn't know me. This is going to work. She'll never know._

Sans sighed, realising that wouldn't work. She was smart, she would figure it out. He could always hope though.

"Come on Buster, let's go home."

When he got back to the apartment, he found it empty. "Charlie?"

"In the closet." She called back.

"Are you going to appear in lingerie again?" He asked.

"No, I'm trying on dresses for next week." Sands took the leash off Buster who went for his water bowl. "You took Buster out? What if someone saw you?"

"No one did and anyway, the CIA told us to work together. They can't say anything for the time being." He walked inside her closet. "They hardly expect us not to do stuff like-"

He stopped talking when he turned around one of the shelves and saw her inspecting herself into the mirror. She was wearing a floor length, navy blue dress which was tight around the waist and flowed down, accentuating all the right places.

"I suppose you're right." She replied, not noticing as she was still inspecting the dress before shaking her head. "Onto the next option. I like this dress but it seems a little-"

Charlie was cut off when Sands pressed her up against the wall and began kissing her fervently. She was surprised at first but she soon fell into it, responding to his lips with her hands delving inside his hair. She felt as Sands crunched the fabric in his hands, lifting the dress up to reveal her legs. He grabbed one behind the thigh and brought it up so she could wrap it around him. She was pleasantly surprised when she went to undo his belt buckle that a while ago's problem was no longer occurring. She was supported by her one leg still stood on the floor but when she felt him thrust into her, she was lucky to have Sands' arm, the one that wasn't holding her thigh, wrapped around her because she buckled at the feeling, her other leg wrapped around him pressing against him tighter as if to push him closer to her. He had her pinioned against the wall as he moved in and out and Charlie had to bring her hand back to feel the wall behind her as if to grasp something but nothing was there so she wrapped her arms around his neck bringing her head to his shoulder.

Sands had to smirk when in between her moans and comments of appreciation, she begged him to go harder. Always aiming to please, he brought his hand to her other thigh and lifted her properly so both legs wrapped around him and he could feel a fuller thrust. Charlie obviously felt it too as her moans turned to yells, her pleasure overtaking her. Sands kept up his movements and by the time he was ready to let go, Charlie had already succumbed to orgasm twice. Charlie was in the middle of her third when she felt him grab her tighter and before she even realised what had happened, they were on the floor with her straddling him, their bodies still connected.

"So…" She smiled, breathless. "It's not so much lingerie you like as it is evening dresses. I'll have to remember that the next time I want to surprise you."

Sands' hands went under the dress where they pushed up the tight fabric so he could feel her waist. "That's some dress."

"It's a shame I'm not wearing it to the fundraiser."

Sands looked up at her. "You're not?"

"You obviously weren't listening to me." She teased. "Hmmm, I should punish you for that."

Sands felt her buck her hips slightly which did him no favours but he had to chuckle all the same. "Careful sugar, I'm sensitive."

"I know." She smirked as she bucked her hips again.

"I would like to just take a second here and think back to when we first met and you wanted nothing to do with me or sex and revel in the fact that this is my work."

"And I would like to take a second to think back to how you were adamant you just cared about sex and that's not true anymore." She wriggled on top of him, making him leave out a hiss. "Or is it?"

"You really wanna play that game, sugar?" His hands on her waist carressed her skin. "You know from experience that I don't give up easily."

"You should know from experience that when I want you to say it, you usually do."

She had him there and she definitely had him when she continued her assaults. "You're cruel, sugar."

"But you love it."

"That I do."

"Just say what else you love and I'll be gentle."

He smirked. "I can't let you win all the time."

"Let me win?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "You never let me, I'm just better at this."

"You wish, sugar."

Charlie began moving again and Sands grasped her tighter as he began to harden again. When Charlie felt him beginning to enjoy himself, she stopped and leaned down to bring her lips close to his but just out of reach. "I don't wish, I work to win."

"Then you should work." Sands tried to buck his hips against hers but she held steady.

"Should I? Sometimes not doing anything is just as effective." Charlie pressed her lips against his and Sands brought his hand to her hair. As the kiss got more passionate, she pulled away. "So just say it and I'll bask in my winning glory by giving you what you want."

"You had me until basking in your winning glory. I don't take well to losing, sugar."

"Not even for second prize?" She began moving again, torturously slow.

"Oh God, sugar…"

"Those aren't the three words I want to hear, Sheldon." She said in a reprimanding tone.

Sands was about to object when she stopped but realised that was what she wanted. "Sugar, if you want the upper hand to win, you need to make sure of one thing."

"What's that?"

Quick as a flash, Sands had turned so she was on her back and he was on top. "That it can't get taken away from you."

Charlie smirked and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You got me. You win."

Sands kissed her and Charlie felt as he began moving but unlike her, he didn't stop until both were satisfied. When they were done, he pressed a kiss to her lips again. "Now, for your second prize, loser."

"I shudder at the thought of what this is going to be…" She teased.

Sands brought her hair away from her face. "I love you."

Charlie smiled. "You don't have to say it if you win."

Sands kissed her again. "I know."

* * *

"Charlie, if you take any longer, I will literally have to leave without you."

"I'm coming!"

Sands looked down at his watch. They were already late for the charity ball, not that he was in any particular rush but now that this night had come and he knew there was no stopping it, he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. "You said you were ready fifteen minutes ago, what is taking so…?" He turned when he heard the bathroom door open and his words quietened when he saw her. The dress was a light purple sleeveless gown with a black lace design and a black sash tied around her waist. Whereas the other dress had been sexy, this one made her look flat out beautiful. Her hair was pulled back off her face in a wavy up-do which seemed to show off her features, especially her cheekbones. She had done something to her eyes to make them look smoky but her blusher was light and her lips were a nude colour.

"Sorry, I was trying to find the courage to come out of the bathroom." She said with a nervous smile but she wouldn't quite look into his eyes. Sands would never know why she always seemed to be shy in these situations, as if he might survey her and not like what he saw and she'd be humiliated. "Is the dress okay?"

Sands nodded.

"You don't wish I was wearing the other one?"

He shook his head.

"I really look okay?" She seemed to get a little hesitant with his lack of actual answers.

Sands didn't know what else to say. "You're perfect."

He didn't just mean how she looked now, he meant completely.

Charlie's smile widened, showing her teeth. "I'm not too overdressed?"

"That would be impossible. Everyone else would just be underdressed."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "I do believe you're trying to be romantic."

"Sugar, my brain isn't capable of trying anything right now." It was true. It was like he was seeing her for the first time all over again. He didn't know why but it gave him a jolt to think she looked this way for him, that he asked her to do something for him and she completely excelled in it. He felt a pang when he realised that he was going to ambush her and she had no clue. He wanted to stay here with her and not let it happen.

"Sands?" She asked when he didn't say anything. "Don't we have to go?"

"Oh…Yeah…Yeah, we do." He nodded. He realised if he wanted to keep his job, he had to do this.

She walked over to him and adjusted the collar of his shirt lightly. "You look very handsome."

"Thank you, ma'am."

Charlie frowned. "Are you alright? You seem kind of troubled."

"I just…You've blown me away, sugar." Well, it wasn't a lie. "You're unlike anything I've ever seen."

Charlie smiled again. "Ready?"

_No._

He held out an arm and she took it.

"Let's go."

* * *

"Where in the world did you get this?"

Charlie had gone down to the parking garage, expecting to see Sands' regular car but was brought to the brand new one he'd gotten off Wyman.

"Perk of the job." Sands smirked. "You like?"

"A perk of the job?" She asked. "I'm guessing you mean your job on the mission because I don't think this is a perk the CIA offer."

"You'd be right." He opened the door on the passenger's side and she got in.

"So this contact is generous?" She said when he got into the driver's seat.

"One of them is." He replied.

"You're not going to run off with millions like you were planning in Mexico, are you?"

"Only if you're with me."

Charlie smiled. "You know I will be."

Sands couldn't resist leaning over and pressing his lips against hers. "I'm going to hold you to that."

* * *

"So, who's this contact that you have to know?" She asked Sands, looking around at all the rich and elite in their finest from their seats at the bar. She was reminded of her youth when her mother held these kinds of things and she felt just as much of an outsider now as she did then but at least she had Sands to make her feel less like an alien. "Is he around?"

"I have a feeling you'll know him when you see him." He muttered.

"What? Does he have some big scar or face tattoo?"

Sands chuckled. "They're not all like that, sugar."

"Yeah but the more interesting ones are." She shrugged. She took a sip of her drink as she looked around again. "Everyone looks so beautiful."

Sands only had eyes for one person. "Not as much as you."

"I think you might be a little biased but thank you." She smiled at him.

Sands refrained from sighing, knowing her smile wouldn't be lasting that much longer tonight but wanting to prolong it as much as possible. "Hey sugar, wanna dance?"

Charlie looked at him incredulously. "I didn't think you danced."

"Hey, I happen to be a good dancer."

"Oh by all means, lead the way then."

Sands took her over to the dance floor and brought her close to him, taking her hand in his and wrapping an arm around her waist. He was quite enjoying his time with her and he didn't want it to end. At least if they were on the dance floor in between all the couples, they might not be found.

"Wow, you are a good dancer." She said.

"You sound surprised." Sands smirked before turning her and dipping her slightly. "I happen to be pretty suave."

Charlie laughed. "I'll never doubt it again."

Sands brought her up and close to him again. He looked down at her with her unsuspecting smile, slightly hating himself. He tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear that had fallen loose as he dipped her.

"Would you be embarrassed if I kissed you here, in public?" He asked.

"I don't think so."

Sands leaned down and pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. Charlie didn't think she'd stop smiling tonight. It seemed like the perfect night. They were out together with no fear of being caught and they didn't have to be in some dingy bar, she felt quite pretty in her dress and Sands seemed to agree and he didn't seem to be holding any of his usual reservations about being close to her.

"I love you…" She said when the kiss parted. "Sheldon."

Sands didn't know why this was the clincher but the simple use of his name that way made him realise what he was risking. "We need to go."

Charlie frowned. "What? Why?"

"We just do." Sands began to lead her off the dance floor quickly. He couldn't let her stay here. If he got her out now, he could pretend they were never there and make up an excuse to Steven as to why they couldn't be there. He'd figure something out. He just knew he couldn't do this to her.

"Sands, what happened?" Charlie asked as he dragged her along. "I thought things were going fine…"

"Charlie Macintosh? Is that you?"

Sands stopped, his eyes closed in frustration, but he turned when he felt Charlie's hand tense in his. He saw the colour drained from her face and she stood frozen when they were faced with Nathan Wyman.

"My God, look at you." Wyman didn't seem to notice her trepidation. "It's so great to see you. You look good, kid." He said, good naturedly. He'd obviously been after a few drinks and was all the jollier for it. He turned to Sands. "Steven's going to give you one hell of a raise for this, I'll tell you that."

Sands looked at Charlie who promptly turned and ran out of the ball room.

"Charlie!"

He ran after her, seeing her run out of the mansion altogether. She hurried down the stone steps and over to the bushes and Sands just got there as she began retching.

"Charlie…" He put his hand on her back, the other going to gently hold her hair.

"Get away from me!" She shouted, turning to throw his hands away from her. She had tears in her eyes and her eye make-up was running. "Don't you dare come near me!"

"Charlie, I am sorry." He said. "I had to."

"No! Do not try to defend this!" Now she couldn't look him in the eye for completely different reasons. She shook her head and walked past him. "You son of a bitch."

"Charlie, wait."

"No!" She said angrily as she walked away from him. "I can't believe you did this to me."

Sands hurried after her and got face to face with her, grabbing her arms to make her stop. "Charlie, I am sorry but I had to."

"No, you didn't! You don't have to do anything!" She said, trying to hold tears back. She really hated him at the moment and her expression showed it. "If you can betray me this easily, you can forget about everything. I want nothing more to do with you or what you think you have to do."

She ripped her arms away from him and began walking quickly again.

"Charlie, this is ridiculous." Sands said, walking after her. "Would you just stop walking away from me?" He huffed when she didn't. "How are you going to get home? I drove you, remember?"

"I would rather walk home than have to sit next to you!"

"Are you serious? You're seriously trying to fucking break up with me?"

"I'm not trying! I'm just breaking up with you."

He caught her again and made her turn to him. "You can't. This was a mistake, Charlie, a big fucking mistake and I am not letting you end this because of it."

"You don't have a choice."

"No, look, I know you're mad…"

"Mad doesn't even begin to describe…"

"I know you're mad," Sands continued. "But this…This is not what's gonna break us. I told you I would mess up. Before I got into this, I warned you what life with me would be like, I told you I would mess up and I would make mistakes and you told me you could handle it. You told me you wouldn't judge me based on what I had to do tonight. You told me you would still love me, no matter what."

Charlie was letting the tears fall now. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I was wrong."

She turned and walked away again but slowly this time, not in anger but in exhaustion and devastation.

"Charlie, please!" He called after her, not caring if it made him seem weak.

She didn't reply, she didn't turn back, she kept walking and Sands realised she was gone. Not just tonight but she was gone from his life.

Again.

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait but I was in Amsterdam so couldn't update. You'll be happy to know that the next chapter is the one you've all been waiting for and it's already written so it shouldn't take long to update! ****I recently watched OUATIM with commentary because I'm a massive nerd and noticed the Judy Garland book Sands has so I had to include it!**

**Also, both Charlie's dresses are on the tumblr for those interested.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"What the fuck happened to make her like that?"

"You have no right to…"

"Cut the bullshit! I did everything you wanted and it cost me too fucking much!"

Steven and Sands were interrupted when Wyman came into the private office, upstairs in the mansion. Downstairs, people were still enjoying themselves and had no idea of their host's turmoil.

"You should have told me she would be here."

"You shouldn't have been here!" Steven said angrily. "You were supposed to be in New York with Sharma!"

"You don't think I check the books?" Wyman asked with a raised eyebrow. "You weren't going to be able to hide a fundraiser from me."

"Hey!" Sands said, letting them know he was still in the room. "Cut the business bullshit and explain why the fuck I just lost my girlfriend!"

Wyman frowned at him. "Your girlfriend?" He looked at Steven. "You knew about that?"

Steven looked genuinely sick. He looked at Wyman. "She was never supposed to see you."

Steven left the room and Sands was left alone with Wyman.

"What happened?" Sands asked the one person he had left who could answer.

"You're with Charlie? You have been this entire time?"

"Yes and now she hates me and I want to know why."

Wyman sighed. "You just have to remember that she was young…"

Sands frowned. "Just tell me."

"When she was seventeen…" He took a drink as if to prepare himself. "When she was seventeen, she and I…Made a very big mistake."

Sands shook his head. "You and her? Not a chance."

"Look, I'm not proud of it, alright? But I was drunk and she was…Young and offering…"

"Offering?" He scoffed. "You do realise I've actually met Charlie, right? I know what she's like?"

"You didn't back then. It was the night of Steven's birthday party and we'd both been drinking champagne. I don't know, maybe she wanted to feel older or something. She's capable of her moments and I can't believe you if you say you can be with her and don't know that."

Sands thought back to last week, when they were in her closet and that little moment. He still didn't believe Wyman's story though. "You're seriously trying to tell me Charlie seduced you?"

"What? She's never tried it with you? And succeeded?"

"That's different." Sands maintained. "She's not seventeen and our relationship did not start out with her just falling into bed. It took a lot for us to get together which is why I'm having a hard time believing that, as a teenager, she was just willing to screw her father's business partner one night." Sands also wanted to point out that she was probably a virgin at that point but for some reason, didn't feel right saying something like that about Charlie to this man, even if what he said was true.

"People do things when they're drunk, I'm not saying it's a mark against her."

Sands don't know why but Florida flashed through his mind then, when she'd gotten drunk and they'd nearly slept together for the first time but she fell asleep. She had been up for it though, while always maintaining she wasn't when sober.

"It's not one of my proudest moments but it happened." Wyman continued. "Steven found out the next day and he went ballistic."

"He's her dad and she was a teenager, of course he was angry." Sands shrugged.

"He didn't talk to me for months and by the time we'd resolved our issues, he and Charlie were no longer speaking but he was trying to get in touch with her, to apologise. She never let him."

"Wait, so if that's what really happened, Charlie was the one at fault?" Greta Gilbert's words were ringing in Sands' ears.

"_We could hear her crying, begging him to listen to her and him shouting that she was wrong, she'd been bad."_

"I was too."

"But between her and her dad, he didn't do anything to hurt her?"

"I suppose their fight…"

Sands was having a lot of trouble wrapping his head around this. "If what you're saying is true…"

"It is."

"Then she would have jeopardised his business by doing what she did. I know Charlie, she's reasonable. She would talk to her father by now. She'd understand his point of view."

"Well, she hasn't and it's ruined Steven's life."

Sands was finding this very hard to believe. Surely she wouldn't have been that bitter? He'd heard Steven's messages to her, the man was pleading for forgiveness when in reality, what had he done wrong? Been angry that his young daughter slept with his business partner? Who wouldn't have been?

"This can't be true." He said. "Charlie would never do something like that."

"Well, she did." Wyman shrugged. "I can't blame her because it was my fault too but when I look at how it's ruined my best friend's life, I just wish she would realise how much of a bad affect her actions are still having."

If this was true, Charlie really did seem a bit cruel. Sands was getting a little angry thinking about it. She had just made him feel like the worst person in the world but in reality, she just wanted to stay bitter? He had understood when he thought Steven had hurt her but it was just her stubbornness making her act this way?

It wasn't just that, though.

_I've spent a year telling her I need to know what happened because it's wrecking my head to think of what she might have gone through. I've begged with her and pleaded with her to tell me and she's always maintained that it's too painful to talk about. What if she just doesn't want to look like the bad guy? _

_I don't worry about anyone but myself and now her and if she's used that against me…_

Sands was feeling very angry now.

_No, I'm not letting her do this. I am not letting her hate me if that's all there is to it. _

Without a word, Sands left the mansion.

* * *

Charlie was sitting on the floor of her kitchen, up against the cabinets and Buster was sitting next to her. She didn't think she'd ever loved him so much as she did now because the minute he saw her crying, he wouldn't leave her side. He just sat next to her, refusing to move away.

"You're the only one left." She said to the dog. Buster looked at her, his nose rubbing against her cheek. Both looked to the door when it opened and Sands walked in. He looked down at her on the floor.

"What are you doing down there?"

"What are you doing here?" She croaked.

"Where else did you think I was going to go?"

"I don't want you here."

"Tough."

"Sands, just leave me alone." She looked back to Buster.

"Look Charlie, I apologised-"

"I don't care."

"Yeah, I got a taste of how much of an unforgiving bitch you can be."

She looked up at him, shocked. "Excuse me?"

"I know what happened." Sands said. "Between you and your father. Oh, and Wyman I suppose. All these years and you're still holding a grudge? Isn't that a little pathetic?"

Charlie looked like he'd just spat on her. "I can't believe you're saying this. You, out of everyone…"

"Hey, you lied to me too." He replied. "And all this time, I was supposed to be the untrustworthy one. Charlie, why don't you give up feeling sorry for yourself and expecting everyone else to make the effort for you?"

Charlie stood up though her legs didn't feel like they'd support her. "I thought…I was supposed to be able to trust you…"

"Oh, really? If you did, you would have told me what happened and not expected me to see you as just a little pathetic over the entire thing although if the shoe fits…"

"Sands…"

"You nearly ruined everything and he's the one who suffers?" To be honest, Macintosh wasn't Sands' greatest concern. "And me."

"Because I didn't?" She argued. "You know what, why am I even surprised? I've known you long enough to realise your fucked up thought process gets everything wrong. From now on, go back to only caring about yourself. You're good at it. Unlike actually caring for someone else."

"Oh, give me a fucking break. Your victim routine is getting a little old."

"Routine?"

"Yeah, and it's not your only one, is it? Acting like some pious little do-gooder because you fucked up when you were a teenager? Pretending to be some perfect little princess and making everyone around you feel like shit because they might actually care about you? Blaming your faults and what you did on other people and making people worry about you because it's easier than admitting that you were the one who were to blame yourself!"

"Why are you saying this to me?" She said, tears streaming down her face.

Sands sighed, annoyed with her and himself. "Because I spent so fucking long worrying about you and trying to help you because I love you and it turns out, the reason you never told me wasn't because it was too hard or because you were scared, it was because you were the one who fucked up! It was your own fault! And you sat there, time and time again and let me act like a fucking fool, trying to make you feel better! You fucking broke up with me tonight because I reminded you of what a fucking idiot you were!" Sands shouted. "You don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself which you made pretty clear when you were seventeen!"

He turned away from her, not able to cope with looking at her anymore. He couldn't believe how angry he was but he felt played.

"You know Charlie; you are the first person I ever cared about, ever and you…"

He frowned and turned when he heard the door slam and saw that she was gone.

"Perfect…"

He didn't know what to do. Did he stay here and wait until she got back? Did he go after her? He walked over to the bed and sat down. He should have never done this. He shouldn't have taken her there tonight. After months of wanting to know the truth, Sands now wished he didn't know at all. He wished things could go back to normal though with them, things were never normal.

He took out his phone and dialled her number but was dismayed to hear a ringing behind him. He turned and saw her bag on the nightstand. He walked over and couldn't help but open the drawer. He never looked in there, deciding it was Charlie's business but really, what else about her could shock him tonight? He froze when he saw the blue box with the white ribbon in the drawer, the one he'd hidden in her desk for her birthday.

_She kept that?_

He opened it and found the card inside, the one that had his '_Happy Birthday, sugar' _written on it. He'd wanted to write 'I love you' on it but decided against it in case someone intercepted the gift before she got it. He did love her though. He just couldn't get over her actions right now. Inside the drawer was the gun he'd given her too, which she must have kept there just in case. It was then that he remembered how much she risked just being with him. But it didn't matter; this time she had to realise she was the one who'd done something wrong. It had always been him that was at fault, even when she acted selfish. Not the time. He'd done what he had to, he hadn't been given a choice, but her actions were completely down to her.

Sands frowned when there was a knock on the door. Who would be knocking on Charlie's door at this hour? He walked over and opened it.

"Is she here?" Steven asked.

"How do you know where she lives?" Sands asked.

"I have my ways. Is she here? I need to see her."

"No, she's not." Sands said.

Steven walked inside, he seemed a bit frantic. "She never should have…She was never supposed to see Nathan first…"

"He told me." Sands admitted. "He told me what happened between Charlie and him."

Steven looked at Sands suspiciously. "He told you?"

"Everything."

"What exactly did he tell you?"

"That they slept together."

"Did you tell her you know that?"

"Yeah. She stormed out afterwards." Sands didn't understand what was going on. Why was Steven acting so panicked that the truth was out to Sands?

"You know her better than I do, probably better than anyone." Steven said. "So I need you to help me find her. Where would she go?"

Sands shook his head. "No, I'm done. I thought I wanted to know what this little drama was about but it's all too messy for me. You're on your own."

"Little drama?" Steven repeated before shaking his head. "You really don't know a fucking thing."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"We really need to find her."

* * *

"I think I've got it under control but if anymore comes from it, I'm going to need you to…"

Wyman's sentence to the person on the other en of the phone died when he turned to the door in the office and saw Charlie standing there.

"I'll call you back." He said before he hung up the phone. "Charlie…"

"Why did you come here?"

"It's a fundraiser being hosted by the company. Seeing as I'm acting head, I kinda have to be here."

"Don't give me that bullshit." Charlie said angrily, walking further into the room. "This was all done so he could see me, so I'd have to see him. You didn't have to be here! You have no right to even be near me!"

"Charlie, I know you've had a difficult night." Wyman sighed. "Maybe you should go home, go to bed. You're obviously too emotional to think clearly."

"I am thinking perfectly clearly and I remember exactly what you did."

"Obviously not if you're this upset. I remember at the time, you were enjoying yourself."

He felt a sharp stinging sensation when she slapped him.

"How dare you."

Wyman looked at her. "Go home before you make me do something you will regret."

Charlie scoffed. "I'm not seventeen anymore! You don't intimidate me as much as you think, Nathan_._ Trying to ignore you looking at me or trying to brush off your little touches as accidents, I know exactly what you are now and I'm not scared to admit it. I'm not scared of you anymore. I'm not some child anymore. You made sure to take that away from me."

"You were seventeen, hardly a child."

Charlie shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. "You're sick."

Wyman smirked for the first time. "Prove it. As I recall, no one believed you then and they won't believe you now. Though if you really want to test those chances, I'd be up for a repeat performance. Only if you're willing, of course."

"I was never willing."

"That's not what I remember." He kept smirking. "And that's all I'll say to anyone you ever try to convince. It'd be a little hard for you though what with the statute of limitations, no proof and a clear vendetta. Oh, and let's not forget that I have people on my side who will claim that it was consensual. Your father was one of them and now your boyfriend is another. You should have told him the truth while you had the chance."

"The truth? What is that?" Charlie asked.

"We had sex."

"That's not the truth."

"It's all I'll say."

"You're a liar." Charlie said. "You can't even say it to me. You're a fucking coward."

Wyman grabbed her by the arms tightly and pulled her towards them, his smirk gone now and his expression growing angry. "You want the truth, princess? That I forced myself on you? Raped you? That's what you want me to say? Fine, I did and you obviously didn't learn your fucking lesson because here we are again, alone with no one to help you just like last time."

"Not exactly."

They both turned when they heard another voice in the room.

Sands held up his gun, his aim on Wyman. "If you don't want your brains splattered all over the floor, you should let her go quickly."

Wyman huffed and pushed her away from him.

"Charlie, come here." Sands looked at her.

Charlie shook her head. "No."

"Charlie…"

"I'm not letting you kill him."

"See? I told you she liked me." Wyman's smirk was back.

"Charlie," Sands ignored him. "If you think I am not going to kill the man who raped you and got away with it, you don't know me as well as you think."

"If you kill him, that makes him the victim which is something I can't see him be." Charlie pointed out. "And you'll go to jail."

"I'll take my chances."

She walked over to Sands and he thought she was doing it so he could get a clear shot of Wyman but instead, she put her hand on the gun, making him lower it.

"I am not letting him ruin my life anymore and having his murder surround me will do that." She said to Sands. "Having you go to jail will do that to me."

"Listen to your girlfriend, she's a smart girl." Wyman said. "And great in the sack."

Charlie felt like she was going to be sick again but instead of moving out of Sands' way, she turned her head slightly in Wyman's direction. "Get out."

Everything was silent for a few seconds but she eventually heard footsteps and a door close, letting her know Wyman was gone.

"Why did you do that?" Sands frowned.

Charlie didn't look up at him but now that Wyman was gone, she turned and walked away from him.

Sands walked after her. "Charlie…"

He tried to take her arm but she wrenched it away. "Don't." She said, refusing to let him touch her. "Just…Don't."

"Charlie, I…"

"Charlie?"

Sands sighed but noticed how Charlie froze again when her father's voice rang throughout the house. It was then he realised she hadn't actually seen him yet.

"Are you here?" He appeared in the doorway and saw Charlie with her back to the door. "Charlie…"

Charlie turned and it looked like she'd seen a ghost. Steven seemed distraught, seeing her so upset.

"Oh Charlie, I am so sorry…"

Charlie shook her head. "No. No, I can't. Both of you need to stay away from me." She said before walking past them to leave.

"Charlie," Sands hurried after her and grabbed her arm. "You can't be alone right now."

"Oh, now you care?" She scoffed. "You weren't very considerate a while ago! And you," She turned to her father. "You're sorry? You're still in business with the man who raped me. You made your choice when I was seventeen. You chose your company over me. I mean, that was it, wasn't it? Why you chose not to believe me?" She said quietly. "Because you didn't want your business to get in trouble. If it got out your business partner was a rapist, the company would be ruined so it was better to pretend that I was lying, to pretend not to believe me to make me think no one else would." She didn't think she'd ever stop crying tonight. "Well good job, Dad, your plan was a success. I've never told anyone, although that doesn't stop people blaming me." She cast a fleeting look to Sands who was going over everything he said to her in his head and realising how big of a mistake he'd made. She looked back at her father. "Congratulations. I am not going to let you back in my life now. That was the deal. I keep quiet in exchange for never having to speak to you, ever again."

"I never agreed to that."

"No but you wanted me to keep quiet and that came at a price." She said. "I don't want to see either of you again."

She turned and left the office, closing the door behind her. Steven went to follow her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sands frowned.

"I need to see Charlie."

"No, you don't. After what you did to her, you have no right to want anything from her."

"I know that."

"Then don't try. Leave her alone."

Steven turned back to him. "You were pretty fucking quick to believe his story too."

"Not when she told me the truth."

"She didn't tell you the truth." Steven pointed out. "You overheard it. She didn't trust you with the truth and I bet she's pretty fucking confident in her choice now. Don't talk to me about how I treat my daughter when she doesn't want you around just as much as she doesn't want me around. I will get her to talk to me, even if it's the last thing I do."

"Trust me, you bother her again, it will be the last thing you do." Sands warned before leaving the office and mansion. He drove back to Charlie's apartment to find it empty.

"Damnit, where is she?"

He didn't know what to do or think. He obviously had to find Charlie but didn't even know where to begin looking. He couldn't believe what he said to her now he knew the truth. She must have never wanted to see him again.

No actually, he knew she never wanted to see him again.

Sands looked down when he heard Buster whining and saw that the dog had his head down by the pair of shoes Charlie had been wearing that night.

_As if her night couldn't get any worse._

* * *

_I should have brought Buster._

Sands had been trawling the streets for over two hours now and couldn't find Charlie anywhere. He knew she didn't have her car or any money and there weren't a lot of places open at this hour so her hideouts were limited if she didn't go back to her apartment and Sands had been sure to check every so often. If she wasn't there, he'd get into his car and drive around, park up and walk the streets and then go back to check again.

His mind was plagued the entire time with different thoughts. How she reacted when she saw Wyman made a lot more sense to him now, it wasn't the thought of her father being there that had her throwing up and acting panicked and betrayed, it was being face to face with that man again. Is that what she thought Sands had meant to do? Bring her to that man? That man who had acted so casual and good humoured, that man who could play everyone with a smile, that man who was one of the most evil people Sands had come across because of how well he could hide it.

Although, Sands had acted pretty deplorable tonight too. Thinking of the things he'd said, even if they were out of context, made him want to be sick himself. He didn't know how he was going to fix things this time or if he was even going to get the chance to try.

It took him another hour until he found her. He wouldn't have spotted her through the window but at this point, he was desperate so he was actually checking inside places. He had walked into the diner and saw Charlie sitting in a booth. She wasn't eating or drinking, she was simply looking at the table in front of her. Sands walked over and stood at the table.

"You're hard to find."

"Please leave me alone." She said, not looking at him. Her voice sounded raw.

Sands sat down across from her. "I can't do that."

She seemed too tired to fight and knew he'd follow her if she tried to leave so she settled on not doing or saying anything.

"I brought you these." He held up her black ballet flats that she wore when she wanted to be comfortable. "I didn't realise until I saw your heels that you stormed out barefoot." He looked under the table to see one of her dirty feet cover the other insecurely. She probably hadn't even thought of it until she got onto the sidewalk and by that time, she'd been too stubborn to go back. Or hurt. Going back would have meant she'd have to see him. He also saw the ends of her dress was now black with dirt and torn and frayed from being dragged along the ground. "Your dress is ruined."

"Guess we belong together then."

Sands frowned. "You're not ruined."

Charlie didn't reply for a while. "How did you find me?"

"I promised I would, remember?" Sands said. "When we were parked outside an airport in Malibu and you were scared and asked me if I'd find you? I promised I would and I don't renege on my promises to you."

"You promised you'd never lie to me."

Sands had no argument for that.

"You promised me you'd never judge me for what my parents put me through."

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I swear to God, I didn't know-"

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"I know but I'm telling the truth when I say I didn't know."

"No matter what. You're supposed to be on my side, no matter what." Her voice was quiet and her eyes were wet. "Even if what you believed was true, and I cannot understand how you could believe that when you're supposed to know me better than anyone and know I would never do something like that, even if it was true, you should have been on my side. If I hated him for no reason, you should have let me. You're supposed to love me. You do not love someone and then stand over them and look down on them, mocking them and belittling them when they are clearly hurt. You are not supposed to side with everyone else, even when you think I'm wrong. You're supposed to be on my side." Her tears started to fall again and her voice became a whisper as she finally looked at him. "I needed you on my side."

"Charlie…"

"No! I did not need you; standing in my kitchen and making me feel like it was my fault. I'm used to people ignoring what happened to me, trying to bury it; I didn't think you'd do it too."

"I told you I would mess up…"

"That's not an excuse anymore." She shook her head. "I never told you because I was scared you'd turn away from me like everyone else did but I thought I was being crazy for thinking that, just another one of my stupid insecurities. I can't believe I was right."

"You weren't." Sands said quickly. "I am not turning away from you. I'm here, trying to talk to you. I want you to tell me what happened and I will believe anything you say."

"No, I'm not trusting you now." She frowned. "How could you expect me to? I'm never going to tell anyone ever again."

"Please, just give me your side. I heard what he had to say and now I want to hear what really happened."

"No."

"Charlie, please."

"I can't."

Sands sighed. "Try. Please, I need to know what happened. I need to know how wrong I was."

Charlie sighed. "When I was seventeen, I spent the summer living with my father. The night of his birthday, he threw a huge party and I was there. I didn't know a lot of people there but I did know Nathan Wyman. He was my dad's business partner before I was even born so I've known him my whole life. I thought he was so nice for staying by me for a lot of the night, making sure I wasn't standing in some corner on my own. He even gave me champagne which I'd never had so it went straight to my head. I decided I wanted to go to bed so I went up to my room and…And he followed me. I told him he had to leave but he wouldn't so I tried to leave. He grabbed by my hair and pulled me back…"

"Alright." Sands said softly but sternly. He couldn't hear about that particular aspect anymore.

"I told my dad the next morning and he told me…" Sands could see her eyes glistening though she'd managed to compose herself somewhat. "He told me that I didn't know what I was talking about, that I had been drunk and we all make mistakes we're not proud of when we get like that but I couldn't make such accusations just because I was regretful."

"He thought you wanted it?"

"He told me no one would believe me because I had been drunk and that throwing around reckless accusations could ruin everything."

"His business?"

"I went home to my mom that day and I hadn't spoken to him until tonight."

"Why didn't you go to the police?"

"Because he wouldn't have backed me up and that would have killed me even more. I was already too hurt, I couldn't go into a courtroom and see my father stand up there and tell everyone that I was lying."

Sands noticed how, while talking, she'd unconsciously brought her arm to wrap around her other one as if blocking or protecting herself. She must have been freezing with her bare shoulders and arms but all Sands could focus on was how small she looked right now.

"Then why did you keep that bracelet? The one that got robbed?"

"Because despite everything, I did miss him. He's my dad." She cried. "But that was the deal. I keep my mouth shut and he doesn't talk to me again."

"He agreed to that?"

"That's what I told him. I didn't care if he agreed."

"Obviously he doesn't, otherwise he wouldn't have tried contacting you."

"It's too late."

Sands nodded. "Okay, it's too late."

"Oh, you agree now, do you? That wasn't what you were saying a while ago."

"Charlie, I can't excuse what I said a while ago…"

"I have spent years blaming myself. Maybe I didn't shout loud enough or I didn't try to leave fast enough or…Or one hundred and one other things but the way you spoke tonight, and I know you didn't know the real truth, I…Can't. Everything you said still killed me. I never told you because I was scared you'd see me differently and now you do."

"Stop saying that!" Sands nearly shouted at her before looking around the empty diner. "I mean, I don't see you differently. You didn't fuck up; none of it was your fault."

Charlie closed her eyes, remembering what he said. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I never should have put you through all that, making you worry about me or making you feel like a fool. I never meant to."

Sands had forgotten about those little gems. "Charlie, I…" He didn't know what to say. That he only didn't want to worry about her when he didn't see it as a big deal? "Worrying about you doesn't make me feel like a fool."

"You said-"

"I know what I said but I was wrong."

"I wanted to tell you. So many times. I thought I could, I knew it was something that you could know but I could never say the words. That had nothing to do with you, it was about me. After my dad, I've never been able to tell anyone."

"You said your grandfather knew."

Charlie nodded. "He came to see me when he found out I was back with my mom. He had gone to see me at my dad's but I wasn't there anymore. I think he probably found out then because when he saw me, he knew."

"Your dad told your grandfather?"

"I think so. After he realised my mom didn't know and wasn't really taking an interest to find out, he told me I was going to stay with him for a while. My mom tried to argue but no one ever won an argument with my grandfather and I wanted to go."

"If your grandfather knew, why didn't he go to the police with you?"

"He wanted to but I begged him not to. I told him that no one would believe me but he said that they would. I pointed out there was no proof. I had showered. A lot."

"The bedroom."

"Had been cleaned by the maids my dad had. There was no proof and my dad not backing me up, I just wanted to forget it."

"So your grandfather let it go?"

"He didn't want to. He was really angry, angrier than I've ever seen him but he couldn't convince me to do otherwise. I told him I would deny it too. I wouldn't have, I would have been able to and he knew that but he realised I was desperate enough to not go to the police. He never spoke to my dad again either but he died the next year so…"

"You were alone again."

"I was alone long before he died and I hated it. When he died, it was like someone ripped out my heart."

"That's why you stayed with your ex all that time? You stayed with him because you didn't have to deal with other men but you weren't alone?"

"He was selfish." Charlie said. "He didn't care about me and I didn't have to care about him. It was easier."

"That's just…dependency."

"You can't depend on someone who's not dependable." Charlie shrugged. "I know you don't want to hear this but it wasn't that at the start, it was a real relationship, just near the end before you came along, I stuck with it for those reasons. But when we got together at the start, it was because we both wanted it. You may not like that and I may not like remembering it but it's true. The later years was just dependency."

"That night in your apartment," Sands frowned, remembering. "The night before I got my eyes back. That's why you freaked out so much when he tried to force himself on you."

"Brought back some bad memories."

"You're always so adamant that he didn't attack you."

"Now you know why." She said helplessly. "I don't want to have to say I got into that situation again."

It made a lot more sense to him now, she wasn't always defending her ex; she was trying to cope.

Sands didn't know how much further he could tread. "You told me that you didn't sleep with your ex until you were twenty-three."

"Is that the thing I lied to you about?"

"What?"

"A while ago, you said I lied to you. Is that what you meant?"

"Can we please forget what I said a while ago?"

"I can't forget it."

Sands sighed. "Yeah, that's what I was talking about."

"I didn't lie." She said quietly. "That is when I slept with him for the first time but I didn't tell you every reason why." She rubbed her face, finding this very difficult. "When it happened and I was trying to get over it, to move on, I thought sleeping with Barry would help. I thought if I just got it over with and did it, I wouldn't be so afraid and I'd have something else to think about when it came to sex. But every time I tried…" Sands could see how hard this was for her. "Every time I tried, I would just burst into tears and I hated him touching me and I couldn't do it. I wouldn't talk to Barry for days and I never understood why he always forgave me, I couldn't believe how understanding he was. As I got older and we were together longer, he stopped being so understanding. He said that if I wouldn't, he'd leave me so I did." She wouldn't look at him. "I hated it and I hated myself and I cried but I did it."

"Why? Why didn't you just break up with him?"

"Because I didn't think he knew, though now I know he did. I just thought I had this great person who was so understanding but I was being difficult to deal with. I was scared of being alone. But instead of making me think about something else, what Wyman did to me was the only thing I thought about when I was with Barry. I never lied; you are the first person I've ever wanted to have sex with. You are the first person who didn't make me think about what happened. When I was trying to trick you into admitting you cared about me, that night that you hate thinking about because I wasn't acting like myself, I don't know what I would have done if you'd gone through with it, if you made it clear that sex was all you were interested in. The fact that you didn't because I wasn't acting like myself made me realise that I didn't have to be scared with you because it mattered to you who I was."

Sands was silent for a while and so was she. After a few minutes of looking at her, he looked down at his watch.

"It's five in the morning." He said.

Charlie sighed, reaching for her shoes and putting them on. "I should probably go home. Buster won't know what's going on."

She stood up and Sands did too. He held out his hand for her to take.

"What are you doing?" She asked, looking down at his hand.

"I'm bringing you home." He frowned.

"Sands, I told you everything. There's no more you need to know."

"I don't want to hear anymore, I don't care about your past. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Are you forgetting what happened tonight?"

"I won't be forgetting what happened tonight for a long time."

"I broke up with you."

Sands looked at her, confused. "That was before everything…"

"That was because you went behind my back and lied to me and tried to ambush me by making me see my father and the man who raped me."

"I didn't know what he did to you!"

"But you knew my father did something to me." She said. "And you still tried to trick me into seeing him. There's no excuse for that."

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I was wrong."

"But you knew you were wrong when you did it. You tried to make me leave…"

"Because I realised you were more important to me than any job."

"Well, you should have realised that sooner. I can't be with someone who can hurt me. I've done it too much already."

She walked past him to leave the diner.

"Charlie." He walked after her. "I'm not letting you do this."

"You don't have a choice."

"Well, I'm at least walking you back to your place." Sands said. He didn't know how to make her see that he wasn't giving up on her but at least if he stayed around her, he'd have more time.

"I don't need you to walk me home."

"You don't need me to but I do."

Charlie kept walking and felt as Sands came up next to her, taking her hand in his. He felt Charlie try to take her hand away but grasped it a little tighter so she couldn't. They got to her apartment building and Charlie turned to him.

"There, I'm home. Goodbye."

"Charlie, I'm not leaving you alone tonight."

"Sands, I don't want to be around anyone."

"What about what I want?" He said. "Charlie, I know you're angry with me-"

"I'm not angry."

"Devastated then, but you…You are the best person I know. Everything I said to you tonight was wrong; it was the opposite of everything you are. I did what they all wanted me to do which was turn against you or alienate you and that's my own fucking fault but you are nothing like me. You are the opposite of what I am. You're good and you're smart and you can understand things about people and about situations that I just can't. I know I fucked up but the way I understand things…The way I'm able to be affectionate with you and try to tell you I love you is because I let myself feel things that I've never let myself feel. It's not something I can control but I try not to let myself hide from it like I used to. And it's intense. I sometimes don't think I can handle it which is why, when I got angry, I got so angry. It's taking the bad with the good. I get so angry because I really, really love you and I couldn't deal with what I heard. Which is why when I found out the truth, what really happened, it felt like my insides were being ripped out. I couldn't believe it got worse. What I do know is no matter what the truth was or no matter how angry or how shocked it made me, I wasn't ready to give up on you because you…You are the best thing that's ever happened me."

Charlie felt breathless. No one had ever said anything like that to her before or tried to make her feel that important but she couldn't forget how he made her feel the complete opposite a while ago.

"Charlie, please."

Charlie walked close to him and Sands wrapped his arms around her as she let her head rest against his chest. He felt her shake against him, letting him now she was crying. He was beginning to get afraid she'd become dehydrated, the amount of water that had left her system. He began to lead her into the building and when she didn't argue, probably because she was too tired, he didn't hesitate in walking her up to her apartment and walking inside with her.

"Come on." He said softly, bringing her over to the bed. He inwardly cursed when he saw the Tiffany's box and note still on the bed. Once her eye caught them, she walked around the bed to her side and picked up the box. "I can explain."

Charlie opened the drawer and put the box back inside before shutting it again. She sat down on the bed and didn't say anything about it. Obviously, she didn't want to hear any more explanations or pleads for forgiveness so she was willing to let it go. Sands looked at her sitting on the bed with her back to him. She must have been uncomfortable in the dress.

"Here." He reached over and put his hand on the zip of the dress. When she didn't object, he began to pull it down, revealing her back to him. He couldn't resist running his hand along her skin. He saw her head turn slightly at the feel of his hand but not enough to look back at him. He wasn't sure if she wanted him to stop or if she wanted him to get out. "I'm not leaving."

She looked forward again but didn't say anything in reply.

"Even if I have to sleep on the couch." Sands went on. "I'm not leaving you alone tonight."

Charlie sniffed. "What? Do you think I'll hurt myself?"

"I think you're already hurting too much."

"Guess I should stop acting like such a victim."

Sands sighed. "Charlie, I'm sorry. I don't know how many more times I can say I was wrong. I didn't know what really happened."

"Because otherwise, talking to me like that would have been fine?"

Sands watched her for a few seconds before getting up and walking over to the kitchen to get a glass of water, still afraid she might be dehydrated. He didn't really know what else to do. He walked over and stood in front of her. "Here."

Charlie took the glass and let it sit on her lap before taking a sip. She put it on her bedside table and lay down on her side, looking out the window.

"Could you not just stand there watching me?" She asked, not looking at him.

"I don't know what to do."

"What do you want to do?"

"Climb onto the bed, next to you."

"Then do that."

"You won't be mad at me trying to get close to you?"

"If I didn't want you near me, I wouldn't have let you in."

Sands walked around to his side of the bed and climbed onto behind her, wrapping his arms around her.

"This doesn't mean anything." She said. "It just means that I'm too tired to argue and too weak to be alone, even if I hate myself for it."

"It doesn't have to mean anything." Sands replied. "Even if you want nothing to do with me tomorrow, I'm going to work just as hard to fix what I broke than if we were still together."

"We won't be."

"Like I said, I'm not letting that happen."

"Then you're a fool."

"I know. It's worth it, though."

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Do you think she'll talk?"

Wyman was currently pacing his hotel room. "No, but he's not going to let it drop."

"Which one? The father or the boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend. I'll manoeuvre around Steven, that shouldn't be too hard but that guy was prepared to shoot me tonight."

"You want me to take him out?"

Wyman shook his head. "No, it'll attract too much attention and then she'll definitely talk. No, I need to get to her."

"I thought she was keeping her mouth shut?"

"She is but she's his weakness. Threaten her and she'll make him drop everything."

"How do you do that?"

"Hit her where it hurts. I've done it before, I can do it again." Wyman smirked.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I manipulated one parent away from her, now it's time to take the other. Find me everything you can on her mother, Gwen."

"Last name?"

"Oh Jesus, finding the current one may take a while."

* * *

Sands woke up the next morning to find the other side of the bed empty. He looked around but couldn't see Charlie anywhere. He got up and searched the apartment and eventually found her sitting out on one of the lounge chairs on her balcony. She was still wearing her zipped down dress and goosebumps were evident on her arms from the early morning cold as she stared out at the skyline.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked.

Charlie shrugged. "Nothing."

"Then you should come inside, it's cold."

"I'm okay."

Sands sighed and walked back inside and Charlie thought he'd leave her be but instead he brought out his suit jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders before sitting the chair next to hers.

"You wanna talk?" He asked.

Charlie shook her head slowly.

"Do you hate me?"

It took Charlie a while to reply. "Not as much as I want to."

Sands sighed.

"I want to hate you." She went on. "So much. I want to be able to throw you out and not care if you ever come back. I want to look at you and not feel anything good. But I can't, and I hate it. I hate that I can't hate you. I don't want to love you anymore."

Sands looked down at the floor. He knew she could be cruel to people who wronged her but it would have been kinder if she had smacked him. It was sometimes hard to remember since she was the lesser of their two evils but Charlie was a pretty big bitch. She was mean to people and had no problem dropping them when she didn't need them and even being awful to them when she did. Sands just didn't see it much because they were never in public together and when they were together in private, he was always worse anyway. He didn't mind that Charlie could be horrible to people, it was one of her traits that appealed to him, but getting reminded of it because she was horrible to him wasn't something he enjoyed.

He looked back up at her. "I know this might not be what you want to hear but-"

"Do not apologise to me." She cut him off, taking off his jacket and throwing it at him. "You knew what you were doing and you knew what it would do to me. You don't get to act like the victim because the CIA or my father made you do it. You could have found a way around this. You never do anything you don't want to."

"You seriously think I wanted to do it? Charlie, I tried to get out of it every chance I could, even up to the last second. I tried to get you out of there."

"And afterwards? When you came into my apartment, saw me clearly upset and decided that would be a great time to start doling out harsh truths that weren't even true?"

Sands felt like he was getting a life sentence of never being forgiven for his actions last night, every fight would have it included to use against him. "Why can't you understand that I didn't know the truth and that when I realised, I felt the worst I ever have?"

"You felt bad? My entire life, I've felt worthless, but never with you. I loved you because you were the one person who didn't make me feel that way. Until last night. Why can't you understand that that's not something I can get over easily?"

"Charlie, I'm sorry. I've never been sorrier for anything in my life. If I've never meant those words before, I really mean them now."

Her voice sounded hurt now. "Was your job really that much important to you than me?"

"No." He pressed. "I just got stuck in something I couldn't get out of. I tried to, you were there in Trevor's office, you saw me try to get you out of it."

"Why didn't you warn me?" She frowned at him. "It's not like you didn't get the chance. Why didn't you tell me you were working with my father in the first place? Why did you lie about London?"

"Because I was chicken shit. I couldn't do it. I wanted to but I never could."

"How did all this even happen?"

"I was sent to investigate some trader who was working with your father though I think the real motive was to put me and him together because after a few weeks, someone sent him the pictures of us and a letter with all my information. He said the only way he'd help me get this guy was if I brought you to him. I refused and got onto Trevor, told him I was done and I thought he'd agree since I'd been compromised but he went along with it."

"Why didn't you refuse?"

"I couldn't seem like I knew too much or they'd get suspicious. I had to refuse because I was getting used to not being around you, not because I was afraid you'd leave me."

"Why couldn't you refuse because you knew you'd hurt me?"

"Because when I tried, they said that's what I should want so you wouldn't miss me anymore. Because you'd hate me."

Charlie didn't reply which made Sands feel less safe about where he stood with her now.

"I know this may be a shitty move but you did promise you'd love me no matter what happened last night."

"Are you kidding me?" She looked at him indignantly.

"I'm willing to use anything right now to make you stay."

"If you'd had that attitude before, we wouldn't be here right now."

"I'm not the only liar here, you know." He said. "I asked you multiple times if you'd been raped and you said no."

"You asked me if my father abused me, I said no. I didn't lie."

"Cut the bullshit." He said. "You knew I was asking because I was scared for you and you knew that I would have included what happened to you as what I was asking. Just because it wasn't your father doesn't mean you weren't lying."

Charlie was silent for a few seconds. "You know, I don't know anything about you."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Nothing. I don't even know your parents' names."

"That has nothing to do with me."

"Or why you don't talk about them, ever."

"Charlie…"

"But you couldn't rest until you found out every single one of my secrets." She looked at him. "I've always respected your privacy, why couldn't you respect mine?"

"I tried. Charlie, I didn't ask to be put on that mission, I didn't want it. I tried to get out of it several times."

"So you never once asked my father what happened?"

"When I met your father, he was passed out drunk and rambling on about you. He did not stop talking about you, drunk or sober. Yes, I couldn't resist and I asked. He never told me. So I went digging."

"Digging?"

"I found one of your old maids, Greta Gilbert, and she told me a lot."

Charlie shook her head. "Greta wouldn't have spoken to just anyone."

"I wasn't just anyone. She knew we were together when I showed her the picture of us in my wallet and-"

"You have a picture of me in your wallet?"

Sands frowned. "What?"

"You keep a picture of me in your wallet?" She asked.

"I…Yeah, that's not really the point of the-"

"Can I see it?"

"Is this really the biggest issue?"

"It's the only one I want to focus on."

Sands sighed and walked back inside. When he came back out, he had his open wallet in his hand. "Here."

She took it to see a picture of him and her quite close. It was a picture she'd seen before. "Wasn't this the night I got shot?"

Sands was silent for a second before admitting. "I have no other pictures."

"Oh." Charlie nodded. "I didn't think you'd be the type…"

"I'm not." He said quickly. "I just…Didn't get to see you much."

Charlie kept looking down at the picture. Another night where she'd been so happy and now could only look back on with dread. Why did that always happen?

Sands sat down next to her. "I remember a few nights after that picture was taken, I walked into Sadik's spare room where you were sleeping and you were obviously having a nightmare. When I tried to wake you, you screamed at me to let you go because you couldn't see me in the dark properly."

Charlie sighed. "I have nightmares sometimes."

"About what happened?"

"Well when I wake up and a man I can't see is pinning me down, I get a little anxious, no matter what I was dreaming about but yes."

Sands shook his head. "You were scratching yourself; I had to stop you somehow. I didn't want you to hurt yourself."

"You know, despite the circumstances, being in that little hovel of a room was probably one of my favourite times." She said.

"I thought you hated it? Not being able to get out of bed?"

"Yeah but I had you and the thought that you were working so hard to protect me, no one's ever done that for me."

Sands thought back to that time, about how he tried to protect her and in his mind, failed miserably just like now. He also remembered how he made her cut her hair and he couldn't resist bringing his hand up to the nape of her neck, his fingers running into her hair, long again and down now after she'd taken all the clips out from last night. His fingers ran softly down the back of her neck and down her bare back which was left revealed by the open dress. Charlie looked at him as his hand grazed along her skin and Sands looked from her body to her face. He couldn't resist leaning in and kissing her, remembering how back then, there was not a thing the CIA could do to stop him from putting her first. Even before he'd admitted he loved her, he put her first, fleeing the state just to get a glimpse of her.

_What changed?_

_The rules. The CIA changed the game and I lost track of how to cheat as well as I used to._

_I gotta learn how to play this new game._

He was surprised that Charlie had responded to the kiss and not at all surprised that when he tried to get more passionate, she pulled away.

"No, I can't do this." She shook her head, shrugging his hand off her back, clutching the dress tight against her chest as if the fabric and lace could somehow protect her from a threat that wasn't there.

Sands didn't argue. He knew he wasn't going to be getting any care-free kisses for a long time, if any. "Why haven't you taken off the dress?"

Charlie flicked at the lace. "Whenever I had to attend something that made me wear something like this, I hated having to go. The only thing I liked was getting ready, putting on make-up and the dress and feeling pretty for once."

"Sugar, you don't need any of that to be beautiful."

"That's sweet and everything but you didn't know me as a teenager and didn't even notice me before I was your doctor so excuse me if I think you're full of shit right now."

She really wasn't going to let him get away with anything today.

"Whenever I was at the function, all I wanted to do was leave but when I got home, I never wanted to take off the dress I was wearing. I'd stay in it for hours afterwards, even if I was just reading in my room. I just didn't want to stop feeling that way." She looked at him. "You know why I didn't wear the other dress? Because it made me feel sexy. I didn't want to be sexy, I wanted to feel pretty. For you. I didn't want you wanting to rip my clothes off; I just wanted you to think I was pretty and want me to stay in that dress for as long as I wanted to stay in it too. So I went with this dress, this really beautiful dress that I love, that's one of my favourites. But instead of it being the perfect dress for the perfect night, it's always going to remind me of what happened last night. It's ruined for me now and I don't just mean the rips and dirt at the end. And you did that. You knew what was going to happen and you let me think that last night was going to worthy of this dress. That might not mean anything to you but it means a hell of a lot to me."

Sands didn't think he'd ever understand why Charlie was so personal over her clothes.

"You're right; none of what you said means anything to me." He shrugged. "I don't get it at all because in my mind, it's just a dress. I wasn't focusing on how it would be ruined for you though I still don't know how it is, I was just focusing on how you looked beautiful and how lucky I was and how much I wished everything wasn't happening."

Charlie shook her head. "You know how you sometimes get all moody over your eyes?"

"Please don't compare the fact that I'm walking around with some dead person's eyes in my head because my own were ripped out and probably stomped on and squished to your dress."

"I'm not, I'm just saying; you have perfectly good eyes and sometimes you get depressed over it."

Sands couldn't deny that. There would sometimes be occasions where they'd be on her couch or in bed and she'd be looking into his eyes and Sands would remember that they weren't his eyes she was looking into, they belonged to a dead stranger. More often than not, he'd make his way onto the balcony they were on right now and look out at the scene before him, thinking about how his eyes, his own eyes, would never see what he was looking at. They were made into mush on a Mexico floor. Charlie would come out and try to make him feel better or at least talk but he wouldn't. Now, though, he figured she deserved to hear his thoughts on things.

Sands sighed. "I get depressed because, once again, these aren't my eyes. I get depressed because my eyes are dead. I get depressed because when you're looking into my eyes, you're not looking into my eyes. You love someone else's eyes. I had good eyes, I liked my eyes. These aren't my eyes. You will never look at or love my eyes."

"Those are your eyes."

"No, these are green eyes with permanent colour contacts to make them like my eyes. They're not my eyes. They belong to some guy who is now dead."

"Or some woman."

"Yes, please make it worse."

"You wanted these eyes for so long and now you have them and you hate them."

Sands huffed. "You wouldn't understand."

"Exactly but that doesn't make what you're feeling about your eyes stupid to me."

Sands realised what she had done and looked at her.

"So this dress may not seem ruined to you," Charlie said. "But it does to me and even if you don't understand it, you should realise that I'm not complaining just to complain."

"Is the dress really your biggest concern?"

"I don't want to focus on my bigger concerns and you asked."

"I asked why you won't take it off."

"Because when I take it off, it's off for good. I won't put it on again because it'll always remind me of seeing him again. I might as well throw it away and I don't want to because I love it."

"Then keep it."

"I will but I won't feel anything good when I look at it. I'll feel sick."

"You're so personal about your clothes." Sands said so she wouldn't realise the connection between how she was talking about her dress and how it could easily be him she was talking about.

"They've been the only thing I can control. I may lose patients when I try to save them or I may not be able to get my parents to accept me or I may not get you to stop being a dick or get the CIA to stop those agents from harassing me but I control what I wear and if anyone tries to take that away from me, I will make them wish they were dead."

"Well, you do that." Sands nodded.

Charlie was silent for a while.

"Would you still want me?" He asked. "If I went blind again?"

Charlie frowned at him. "How could you ask me that?"

"It's a thought."

"Sands, I admitted to wanting to be with you when you were blind the first time around."

"But what if I was going to be blind forever? There was no hope of a transplant. I could never see you again, it wouldn't matter what you wore, what colour your hair was…"

"Sands, I might not be able to help you stop being terrified of going blind again but I can tell you that you being blind is not a breaking point for me. I would still be with you."

"Then why can't you be with me now?"

"Because what you did last night was a breaking point."

"Why do you hate the thought of seeing your father so much? Surely there are things you'd want to say to him after all this time, even just that you hate him."

"Sands, I spent my life trying to get my father to want me and when I finally felt like I was beginning to achieve that, he sided with the man who attacked me. I was done with trying to talk to my dad a long time ago. I wasn't the one who started this ignoring game. He taught me everything I know about it."

Sands didn't reply for a few seconds. "Your parents are idiots, you don't need them."

Charlie looked at him. "I know that. If you had thought that before last night-"

"I did. I tried to talk your dad out of what he was planning every single day."

Charlie put her head in her hands. "I can't believe you know my dad. I can't believe you've spoken to him more than I have. You know him better than I do."

"Come on, no I don't."

"Yes, you do." She said. "My dad never wanted to bother with me when I was younger but you talk to him every day. What the hell is wrong with me that a man who rejected me for most of my life keeps you around? He prefers your company? You're a dick."

"He doesn't prefer my company, believe me, we were stuck with each other and if he didn't want to be around for your childhood then fuck him. You're fine without him. I had a dad who stuck around every single day I was growing up and I turned out way more screwed up than you did."

Charlie looked at him then. "You just voluntarily mentioned something to me about your past."

"It wasn't that big."

"It's huge." She frowned. "I always thought your dad was some deadbeat no-show."

Sands frowned at her. "Why did you think that?"

"Because when we thought I was pregnant, you were adamant that you weren't going to be some deadbeat no-show who turned up when the kid was in college."

"Yeah, I was adamant about that."

"But I thought it was because your own dad had been that way."

"Why?"

"Because why else would you say it?"

"Because I didn't want to be a deadbeat no-show, why else?"

Charlie looked away from him again quickly. "You frustrate me."

"What'd I do now?" Sands frowned.

She didn't talk for a while again and Sands didn't either, not sure what he could say that would make things better.

Charlie got up and walked inside. Sands followed her in.

"You wanna know about my family?" He asked. "You think that'll help you know me? Fine. I have a mother, I have a father, I have two brothers, one is five years older and one is two years younger. The only one I spoke to after I left home was my younger brother and we lost touch about two years ago, not because of a fight, we just lost contact. That is my family. I don't talk to them anymore, not because I had a bad childhood but because it's not my life anymore. Those people aren't my life anymore. I made a new life for myself, a life that I wanted and why you think the life I left behind is more important than the life I currently have, the one I wanted and worked to get which should be more of an indication of who I am, I have no idea."

Charlie frowned at him. "I thought you were an only child."

"Did I ever say I was an only child?"

"No but you seem like one."

"Because I don't play well with others?"

Charlie shook her head. "Because you seem good at being on your own."

Sands felt fear grip him. "Don't say that."

"It's true."

"Not when it comes to you. I'm much better when I'm with you."

"We both know that's a lie. Ever since I came into your life, your job's been going downhill. You lost your office, you have to have a partner, you let your first partner die and abandoned a mission and you came home from Romania early just to be with me. The bosses hate you even more and the entire agency wants to see you fail. There is not a chance you can say that doesn't have to do with me."

"Because blaming the fact that I tried to run off with twenty million or went rogue has nothing to do with it?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow. "To be honest, I have no idea why I even still have a job. Anyone else pulled the shit I did, they would be fired. Hell, I was fired. They shut down that mission in Mexico and left me there to get my eyes ripped out. It was only by Trevor's sway that they brought me back and then got in such shit over what happened in Mexico, they had to keep me around so I didn't open my mouth."

"You always said they brought you back because despite everything, the eyes and the coup, you completed your mission."

Sands looked at her. "I know what I said, sugar. But as you so often like to point out today, I lie. I'm nothing but some lapdog the CIA has wrapped round their finger because I owe them so fucking much and because they could take away everything tomorrow and I'd be back down in Mexico, bleeding out of my empty eye sockets if they want me to be. They own me now."

Charlie looked at Sands sadly. "Then what are you doing here?"

"Trying to make you understand that I care more about you than what the CIA do to me. Even if they ripped out my eyes and left me in Mexico, I'd get through it because I'd have to come back here to you." Sands said. "I can tell you about those people because it doesn't affect me, as far as I'm concerned, you're my family."

Charlie didn't have a reply to that so she turned and went to sit on the bed.

Sands looked after her. "If you think I'm bowing out now, you're crazy."

"You can't force me to be with you."

"And you can't force me to stop caring."

"No but apparently the CIA can. Or Wyman if he lies well enough."

Sands shook his head. "I can't apologise for what I said last night anymore. You know I didn't know the truth."

"You should have known I would never sleep with my father's business partner, especially when I was a teenager. I may not know anything about you but you know enough about my past to know I wasn't like that."

"I know you weren't." He sat on the bed next to her. "I said that, I told him I didn't believe him."

"But you did."

"Yeah, I'll admit the guy is convincing but you have to admit too, you never wanting to tell me could look suspicious."

Charlie looked at him, her features a mix of desperation and indignation. "I did want to tell you! I said that last night, I did want to tell you so many times but I couldn't, I couldn't-"

"Okay," Sands said, cutting her off as she got too agitated. "Okay, you did say that but I didn't know that when Wyman was spouting off his bullshit. All I knew is he was the first person giving me information, which he was convincing at, and that you wouldn't tell me. I got it wrong, I believed the wrong person, I made a mistake. I apologised for making that mistake countless times and I meant it, what more do I have to do?"

"I'm not asking you to do anything."

"Yeah but what can I do to stop you from trying to break up with me?"

Charlie shrugged. "Nothing."

"Charlie come on, after everything we've gone through just so we can be together, it can't just be over." Sands tried to look into her eyes which were intently focused on her bed sheets. "Charlie? Is this really what you want?"

"No." She said, hating that she was crying again. Since when did she cry this much? It never seemed to stop and she was sick of it. She hated having emotions. "No, that is not what I want at all. I want to be with you more than anything."

"Then do that!" Sands replied. "Be with me. Why do something that'll make both of us unhappy when you can do what you want which will make both of us very happy?"

"Because I can't. I want to be with you but I can't even look at you right now. How do you expect me to ever really talk to you again when I'm afraid anything I say will be used against me in the future?"

"It won't be, I have learned from my mistakes. I never wanted to hurt you and I definitely will never do it again and not because of you threatening to leave me but because the way I saw you last night, I want to spend my life making sure you never feel like that again. And I will definitely make sure it is not because of me."

Charlie shook her head. "You were supposed to never be willing to hurt me that way before. That shouldn't be a lesson you have to learn by trial and error. Last night just proved I can't trust you the way I thought I could."

Sands felt like he was banging his head against a wall. "Charlie, I never wanted to do what I had to. You know what the CIA is like; you know that you can't say no to them. You didn't. You tried to turn down working for them and you still work there."

"That's because they said they'd kill you if I didn't." She frowned. Sands was silent after that. "I know you love your job." Charlie continued. "I know you don't want to lose it, unless there's twenty million up for grabs…"

Sands looked at her. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it? Before I met you, you were off going rogue and not caring what they told you to do. You were going to run."

"I finished off that mission and I have asked you to run more than once."

"If you're willing to run, why aren't you willing to risk failing a mission?"

"Because as you've pointed out every time you've turned me down, any time we go against the CIA, we're dicing with death and I'm not willing to put your life on the line like that."

"Did they threaten my life?"

"No but if I tried to turn them down, they could have went ahead and involved you anyway. I didn't ask you into Trevor's office, he was the one who organised all this. Your father came up with the plan and Trevor made sure it went ahead. If I had said absolutely not, they would have asked why and what would I have said?"

"That you didn't want to hurt me."

"I did say that, it didn't matter. They didn't care. If I had kept saying I didn't want to hurt you, they-"

"What?" Charlie interrupted. "Would know you love me? They know that already."

"Yeah but I'm not supposed to let it get in the way of my work." Sands sighed. "Charlie, you know this was manoeuvred to hurt you, you know they planned this."

Charlie nodded. "I know. But I'm still thinking if things like this are going to happen because of us being together, maybe it's better if we're not. I can't go through something like this again."

"What else could they possibly do?" Sands frowned. "This has to be the worst."

"You're not even finished your mission! You still have to work with the two of them!" She shook her head. "No, I can't. I cannot know the man I love, the man who I want to spend my life with is off making deals with the man who ruined my life. I can't do it."

Sands hadn't thought about that. His mission wasn't over but there was no way he could go anywhere near Wyman without killing him. He couldn't finish out this mission. It wasn't exactly easy to just say no to the CIA though; he'd learned that all too well lately. He didn't know what he was going to do. He just knew he couldn't go anywhere near either Wyman or Macintosh.

"Charlie, it's not going to happen. Wyman will definitely keep a low profile for the time being."

Charlie looked like she was going to laugh. "Are you serious? That would be too boring for him. Believe me, he is not afraid of this secret getting out and he is not afraid of you."

"I would have killed him last night if you hadn't stopped me. The next time I lay eyes on him, I will kill him."

""I'm glad I stopped you." Charlie said. ""Sands, trust me, this is not a fight you want."

"No, this is exactly the fight I want."

Charlie shook her head. "You don't understand, anything you think you can come up with, Wyman will come up with worse. He is dangerous."

"So am I."

"You're not listening to me. You have to stay away from this man. Anything Barry or Armisen put us through, he will come up with worse. He is sick and twisted and I don't want you anywhere near him or him anywhere near us."

"I want him dead for what he did to you."

"You don't get to make that decision. I don't want his death on my hands."

"It wouldn't be on your hands, it'd be on mine and I'm fine with that!" Sands stood up, frustrated. "I want to kill him more than I have ever wanted to kill anyone! What he did…"

"To me. He did it to me and that means I call the shots on this."

"No! Some guy got you drunk and forced you to have sex with him and you think I'm willing to let that go? I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I nearly did that to you!" Sands shouted.

Charlie was shocked into speechlessness. "What?"

"That night in the hotel room when you were drunk. If you hadn't…Passed out, we would have had sex. I didn't even see it as wrong. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Nothing." Charlie said, getting up walking over to him. "Sands, there is a huge difference between what happened to me then and what happened with you."

"Like what?"

Charlie looked at him sadly. "I said yes to you."

Sands looked from the floor to her and holding onto her tightly. "You will never get hurt like that again, I swear. I'll kill any fucker who tries to lay a finger on you. And I will find that man and I will fucking murder him."

"Please don't…" Charlie said. "I never want to think of that man again. I've spent so long trying to forget him, get over what happened. I can't drag it all up again."

"You won't have to. He has to pay for what he did to you. It might be years too late but…"

"That's exactly what it is." Charlie sighed. "It's too late, Sands."

"Is he already dead?"

"No."

"Then it's not too late."

"This isn't Mexico, you can't just shoot someone and walk away, not worrying about no one knowing who you are. There was a ballroom full of people down there last night and photographers…"

The thought made Charlie stop mid-sentence.

Sands frowned. "Charlie?"

Like a shot, she was going to the door which she opened to find her newspaper at the little table by the elevator where it was left every morning. She opened it up and scoured through it, going to sit at her counter.

"What are you looking for?" Sands frowned, coming over to her.

She ignored him as she turned page after page. A lot of stories were dedicated to last night's fundraiser which of course would have been a big deal she now knew. She'd made it to the show business section and almost passed it on at first but it caught her eye just as she was turning the page. The picture hadn't been taken of her but she and Sands were in the background. Under the picture was a little paragraph.

_Do our eyes deceive us? Apparently not. Also at the charity ball was none other than Steven Macintosh's estranged daughter, Charlotte. Seen here with an unnamed but very handsome man (colour us jealous!), Macintosh Junior was all smiles. Well, if we were being bought drinks by some dark, sexy stranger, you'd better believe we'd be smiling too! The smiles didn't last for much longer for Macintosh though with some guests reporting seeing her and her beau having a fight to end all fights outside the venue halfway through the night. Well, she wouldn't be a showbiz daughter if she didn't create a scene in public every once in a while! As for our handsome stranger, it seems like another man has gotten on the good doctor's bad side. Well, if she doesn't want him, we'd be more than happy to have him! Here at our offices, we're beginning to think you can't say boo to Doctor Drama without inciting a temper tantrum! It seems a reunion with daddy dearest was not on the cards as Charlotte stormed off in a sulk not long after. Case of poor little rich girl syndrome, anyone? Ten CC's of reality check, stat! You were at a ball to help bring attention to a charity, not yourself. If you're like us reader, you've had enough with showbiz relatives prying their way into the limelight with too much embarrassment and too little talent so to baby Macintosh, we say this; If making a scene and creating ridiculous drama is all you have to offer, please go back into hiding._

_And sexy stranger, if you're out there, call us!_

Charlie closed the newspaper with a huff. This was just what she needed, her life splashed across the newspaper, and the tacky section at that. She'd even come out of it, looking like the bad guy. The whole thing made her recently placated anger return in one red hot gush and she didn't mean to but his voice cutting into the silence made her want to aim it at him again.

"Charlie?"

Charlie looked up at him to see him still confused. She slid the newspaper towards him before walking over to the bed and lying down on her side. Sands frowned before looking through the newspaper to see what she was upset about. He found the article and read it quickly.

"Well, these assholes don't know what they're talking about." He said.

"Don't call them that, they love you." She replied, annoyed.

"It's one-sided."

"So you're not going to call them?"

Sands sighed. "Charlie…"

"This is fantastic." She said sarcastically. "Wyman and my father look like angels and I look like some spoiled brat."

"Who cares what this says?"

"You don't understand." She closed her eyes. "It's all going to start again."

"What is?"

He frowned when she reached over and plugged in the phone that Sands hadn't realised she plugged out. The second she did, a ringing erupted. She didn't pick up and when the ringing stopped, she pressed a button on the handset.

"_You have twelve new messages."_

"Twelve?" Sands repeated incredulously. It wasn't even nine yet. Who left twelve messages on her phone?

_Her father. It has to be._

Sands was wrong. Each message were from different newspapers or magazines or show business websites, looking for interviews. They apparently wanted her side of the story. After each message played, Charlie deleted them.

"One of my father's ex-maids went to a newspaper after she quit and told them everything what went on in the house which included my and his argument and the recent estrangement as it had been back then. I started getting call after call to do interviews or talk shows or whatever. I'd been dealing with that shit my whole life being some "heiress" as they liked to call me and a smart one at that. Reality this and inside look that and blah, blah, blah. It escalated like nobody's business when it was made clear that I don't talk to my dad though. I mean, I was mostly left alone when I was younger, except by the tackier companies but when it became apparent that I didn't talk to my dad, they wanted to know why and then I turned eighteen and it was like _1984, _I just had no privacy whatsoever. It died down when I didn't accept any offers and then it completely died down when I moved out here and fell off the edge of the map. But now, now I'm back in his spotlight and they're all going to wonder what exactly my problem is."

"You were raped, that's your problem."

"They won't know that."

"They should."

"Sands, stop." She huffed shortly. "You don't get to find out and then tell me what I should do. I've been dealing with this long before you came along. You don't get an opinion."

"That's not fair."

"So aren't a lot of things, go deal with those and come back to me when you're done."

"It'll die down again." He said because he couldn't argue anymore. "I mean, this picture isn't that clear and the story is hearsay and for all anyone knows, isn't even true."

Charlie frowned at him. "You're a CIA agent, how is this the second time you haven't noticed someone taking our picture?"

Sands was getting pretty tired of her constantly berating him today but wouldn't dare let her know it. She was already trying to break up with him but she didn't have any conviction in actually getting rid of him as she was probably scared of what would happen when she was alone. If he started telling her off for being a bitch, no doubt she'd definitely follow through with her threats and just throw him out so he had to curb his annoyance and just try to make her realise he loved her. "I couldn't take my eyes off you to notice anything else."

"That's romantic and all but really, you should have noticed. It's your job."

_I'm going to kill her._

"Yeah, sorry." He said, not sounding sorry at all.

_Why the hell didn't you notice, genius?_

_No, stop. She's hurt. She's allowed to act a little standoffish._

_And childish._

_And bratty._

Sands walked over to the bed, ignoring the side of his brain which wanted to throw something at her. "Are you making this hard for me on purpose?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're punishing me for everything today. It's not my fault that people saw what happened outside last night."

"It's your fault I was there." She shrugged.

"No, it's the CIA's fault you were there." Sands huffed. "I know you hate me but you could hate them too."

"I can't hate them anymore than I already do. I expect this kind of shit from them by now."

"Then why are you so mad at me if you know the CIA was determined to make this happen?"

Charlie looked at him incredulously. "What would you do if you found out that the CIA tried to use me to turn your worst experience against you and I knowingly went through it?"

"How would that happen?"

"They made me rip out your eyes?"

"Oh come on!"

"You really think they wouldn't?"

Sands considered it. They were prepared to kill, they were probably prepared to maim. "You never would."

"You're right. I never would." Charlie nodded. "I would have thought you'd be the same but I was wrong."

"Charlie, I don't know why you keep bringing up my eyes today but comparing them to different things does not work."

"You mean comparing how your body was mutilated and violated doesn't compare to my situation?"

Sands huffed. "That's not what I meant. It's not like I brought you to Wyman with the intention of letting him hurt you. I wanted to kill him when I found out. You wouldn't let me."

"But-"

"No, I get to talk now." Sands was annoyed. "Look, you may be angry with me over what I did or what I didn't tell you but don't sit there and act like I would have let you get hurt. You know I wouldn't have let that happen. If you hadn't wanted to see your dad, I would have taken you away. You know that. I had a job to do and I did it but I would not have let you get hurt because of it, especially not physically. Wyman was not getting near you and not even your dad was if you wanted to leave. He tried to follow you out of the mansion and I wouldn't let him near you. I wanted to kill Wyman. Do not act like I would have let anyone hurt you."

Charlie was silent for a second before nodding. She couldn't deny that. "But you knew making me see my father would hurt me. You must have known that I would be mad."

Sands nodded. "I did. It's all I thought about. Last week when I couldn't…Rise to the occasion, it was because I felt so guilty-"

"Wait, that was why?" She frowned.

"Yeah. It had nothing to do with you, well it did but not in the way you thought. I just couldn't face thinking that might be the last time you wanted me near you."

"So why are you so surprised?"

"I'm not surprised but I can't let it happen without a fight." Sands explained. "How does that surprise you? I haven't been able to give you up since I met you."

"That's not exactly true, is it? You managed it just fine after Mexico."

"Oh, really?" Sands asked sarcastically. "Because I would say I was rather bad at it, you know what with always showing up at your apartment, having sex with you whenever I could and following you out to Malibu to try and get you to be with me. Yeah, I don't think that was my best effort, I'll be honest."

"I don't know, I felt it at the time."

"Well, that's because I'm the worst in the world."

Charlie shook her head. "I can't believe you're mad at me for being upset."

"I'm not mad at you for being upset," He said. "I'm mad at you because you are using everything else to hate me because you don't want to deal with the real reason you're upset. You can be mad at me for what happened last night all you want but bringing up Mexico? Blaming me for the picture or the article? You're grasping at straws, Mac."

"Fine, I'll just be mad about last night. Hey, you know what happened last night? I'm breaking up with you over it. Bye now."

Sands was getting more and more frustrated. He felt like they were going around in circles. "Charlie, we have worked very, very hard to make sure the CIA don't beat us and you're throwing it all away."

"Maybe because if they're going to play these games, I'm not strong enough to beat them anymore."

Sands looked at her and had to admit, she looked beat. She looked like she needed about a week's sleep. "Listen to me," He tried to cup her cheek with one hand while placing the other against her neck but she pushed him away. He put them back there though, not letting her fight. "Listen to me, letting the CIA win won't help. They think we're not together now and this is what they're doing; at least if we're together, we can-"

"What? Warn each other? You didn't warn me!"

"Okay, that was my mistake but it was the only one that I wasn't forced into."

"Why didn't you say it?" She asked. "Why couldn't you have just told me?"

"Because you still would have hated me for what I was doing. I could have told you but I wouldn't have had to stop the mission. It still would have ended up the same way. I would have still had to have brought you to your dad. He knew I was with you without any help from me. Do you really think you wouldn't have felt betrayed and hurt if you had known beforehand what was going down?"

Charlie could have lied then but she didn't. "I wouldn't have gone."

"You, like me, wouldn't have had a choice if you wanted to keep our relationship a secret."

"Wouldn't want that, it's the only secret I have left."

"Why were you so afraid of letting me know what happened if when I found out, you were the one who wanted to leave me? Charlie, I don't see you any differently because I know that secret."

"I see you differently because of how you found it out."

He frowned at her. "You really see me that badly? Even though I'm sitting here and trying to tell you how much I love you?"

"I know you love, but I'll never be sure if you love me more than your job and when that job is designed to hurt me, I can't trust you the way I thought I could."

"Then trust me to be able to earn it back."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Just trust me that I will make up for what I did. Trust me on that."

"I can't."

"You have to." He said. He sounded desperate. "Charlie, I…I can't do it. I used to be able to but I can't anymore. I can't live my life without you. Even when we're killing each other, it's better than not being together at all. I know I messed up, I know things went too downhill too fast and I didn't try to stop it or be the kind of person you needed as much as I should have but…But I would rather spend the rest of my life with you screaming your head off at me than live a peaceful life without you."

There were tears in Charlie's eyes again.

"I'll do whatever you want." He said. "Anything to prove that I want you in my life forever. I never thought I'd say that to any woman ever, even you up until recently but I'll do it if it means you'll stay."

"You'll do anything?"

"Anything."

Her eyes met his. "Then please don't look at me like that."

Sands frowned. "Like what?"

"Like you have no idea who I am anymore."

"I'm not looking at you like that."

"You are. That's the only way you've looked at me since you found out. Like you feel sorry for me, like I'm a victim. I don't want to be seen like a victim and I definitely don't want to be seen like you by you."

Charlie closed her eyes and kept them closed. She had a massive headache and she didn't know what to do.

"I'm not leaving this apartment today."

Charlie opened her eyes and looked at him. "What?"

"I'm not leaving you on your own." Sands clarified. "You don't like being alone."

"I've recently come to change my mind about that."

Sands shook his head. "No, you haven't. If I leave here then all you'll do is sit around and think about Wyman. You know it and I know it."

"He's all I'm thinking about anyway."

"But at least when I'm here, you have your anger at me to focus on."

Charlie frowned. "You're going to stay here and let me want to hate you because it'll make it easier for me?"

"That's what I'm doing."

She wished she could just throw him out but he was right. She didn't want to be alone and like taking off the dress, she knew when he walked out that door, he wasn't coming back. It'd be over. She didn't want it to be but she couldn't be with someone who was capable of hurting her the way Sands did last night. She'd spent too long around people who caused her pain and she couldn't do it anymore. But she did love Sands, more than she'd ever loved anyone or anything and the thought that he was one of the people who could hurt her was like a knife sticking into her. It wasn't just the betrayal but his reaction to Wyman's lies. He had verbally attacked her and put her down again and again before she'd even got a chance to explain herself. If what Wyman said had been the truth last night, it would have been Sands who ended things, not her. She was just too hurt to forgive him or consider being with him right now.

"I want…" She began but didn't finish.

"What?" He frowned.

"To sleep."

She hadn't even known she was going to finish her thought that way but it was true the thought that Sands might watch over when she was sleeping made her feel a little safer after not feeling safe at all last night. She didn't like being alone but with him there, she just knew she wanted to lie down and close her eyes and be comforted in the knowledge that he'd be there.

"You want to take off the dress first?" He asked, his hand stroking her side.

"No." She closed her eyes. She felt him lie down next to her and didn't bristle when she felt his lips brush against her cheek.

Sands had made sure she was completely asleep before bringing her into his arms. He closed his own eyes and was just dozing off when he heard a loud vibrating on the nightstand. He grabbed his phone quickly so as not to wake her and left Charlie on the bed before hurrying out to the balcony to answer it.

"What?"

"Have you forgotten you have a job?"

Just Trevor's voice made him angry. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Uh, no. No, I'm not."

"You don't have any idea what went down last night."

"Any casualties?"

"No."

"Then I don't care. Go to work."

"No, you don't understand. Last night-"

"You're not supposed to care. You hardly thought she was going to be ecstatic, did you? Go do your job."

"I can't just leave her."

"You're still with her?" Sands could hear the anger in Trevor's voice.

"Yeah, last night didn't go the way you planned either. Funny, that."

"Sands…"

"I'm not leaving."

"Leave right now or you will be breaking the rules of your job which means you'll no longer have one."

Sands was tempted to tell them to fire him. "I am not working with those men anymore."

"Then you'll be fired. Because of her. She'll face the consequences."

"Don't threaten her."

"I'm not, I'm warning you. My bosses are not scared of you, Sands and they know how to make someone disappear without a trace."

"They've openly threatened her to you?"

"Do you want to push them that far? Get out of there and come into work. Act normal. Do not give anyone a reason to be suspicious. Jesus, why the fuck are you obsessed with playing with fire after you've already been burnt?"

Trevor hung up and Sands looked inside the apartment where Charlie was still sleeping.

_She's going to hate me. _

_She probably deserves to._

* * *

Charlie woke up hours later with a startled jump. She looked around blearily after her nightmare and realised it had been just that. She let out a few deep breaths, finding herself alone on the bed.

"Sands?"

_Please. Please don't do this to me._

She got off the bed and looked through the apartment but soon realised it was empty. She didn't think she could have felt anymore hollow but as she walked into the bathroom and finally let the dress fall to the floor and stepping out of it, she felt incredibly empty. She turned on the hot water of her shower and stepped under it, letting the too hot streams assault her skin.

_What did you expect? That he'd actually choose you over his job? He didn't even want to do that when you two were together in Turkey and thought his job was trying to kill you._

_You'll never be the most important._

_You never were. For anyone._

* * *

Sands rushed out of the elevator and took out his key quickly, trying to put it into the lock and meeting an obstacle.

_Why doesn't my key work?_

He tried again but the key wouldn't unlock her door.

_She changed the locks?_

Putting the key away, he began knocking on the door.

"Charlie?"

There was no reply and after a few minutes of trying to talk to her through the door, Sands wondered if she was even inside. He turned to go back into the elevator when he saw a garbage bag in the corner of the hallway, a strip of lace hanging out of it. He walked over and opened the bag to see the dress rolled up and shoved inside.

_Well, that message is plain and clear._

_She's done with both of us._

* * *

**Sorry about the wait for this chapter. Real life got in the way!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"_Stop! Please stop!"_

Sands jumped awake, sweat covering him. His breathing was rapid as he realised that he was in his own bed in his own apartment and had just been having a nightmare. The same nightmare. The nightmare he'd been having every night ever since he'd started sleeping in his own bed again, when Charlie would no longer leave him into hers. It had been three weeks at this point and for those three weeks; Sands hadn't gotten one solid night's sleep. Every night he was plagued with the same nightmare torturing him and after he'd have it, he could kiss any hope of sleeping for the rest of the night goodbye. There were some nights where he just didn't sleep because it seemed like a more pleasant option than having that dream but tonight, he'd been so exhausted.

He got up and walked into his bathroom, turning the light on and assaulting his eyes. He walked over to the sink to splash some water on his face but he knew that wouldn't help. It never did. He knew the only thing that would help was going to talk to the person who featured in his dreams every night, to talk him down and make him feel better like always. There was only one problem.

She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

* * *

"What are you still doing here?"

"Writing."

"I mean, didn't your shift finish an hour ago?"

Charlie tried to surreptitiously look down at the clock to see if Harper was right. When she saw that he was, she shrugged. "I just wanted to get this paperwork finished before I left."

He scrutinized her. "That would be a good excuse if you hadn't been making similar ones for the last three weeks. Especially when, ever since I started working here, you've never neglected to leave any time you got the chance. So, what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, you can talk to me. Is it still what happened at that ball thing?"

Not many people took notice of the show business section of the newspaper but unfortunately for Charlie, some people at the CIA had spotted it. Luckily, it wasn't anyone important like Crowley or at least, if he had, he hadn't called her up on being around Sands. Harper, on the other hand, had seen it. He'd never met Sands though or even seen him in person, just heard idle gossip. When he told her he knew, just as a courtesy and to his credit, hadn't judged her once, she explained the situation as best she could without letting too much slip. He thought her temper tantrum that was mentioned was because she was being used in a mission without her knowledge. Harper was already used to things like that happening around the CIA in his short time though so he believed it easily enough. He'd already found himself the victim of certain attentions from some women in the CIA, with good reason, so the thought that inter-office affairs went on wasn't a huge shock. But like most of the CIA, he didn't know the real depth of any relationship between Sands and Charlie so he didn't know that the fight was really about her realising the man she loved and who she thought loved her had betrayed her.

"Look," He went on when she hesitated. "Don't think you need to stay around here to prove yourself. What happened only made them look bad, not you and believe me, anyone with a brain can see that you're a great doctor who should not be used as some pawn in a game especially against an estranged relative. Fuck them for making him do it and fuck him for going along with it. You just proved that you're more professional than the lot of them put together by sticking around here after it."

Charlie didn't point out that she didn't have a choice but overall, she had to smile at his kind words. She didn't hear a lot of those lately. "Thanks, Dean."

He smiled back his perfect, straight white smile. "No problem. Now go home, you look like death."

"Oh thank you."

"If your friends can't be honest, who can?" He shrugged.

"Yeah well…" She looked him over to find a retort but it was impossible. With his strong, tanned arms being shown off by the short scrub sleeves, and dark stubble with crystal clear blue eyes, it was impossible to find a flaw. "You're right, I need to go home. I'm too tired to even think of a comeback."

She closed the chart and slipped it under the nurses' station.

"What time are you in tomorrow?" He asked.

"Nine, why?"

"Me too. Breakfast?"

"I don't usually eat breakfast." She hadn't eaten much at all lately.

"I've noticed, that's why I'm asking." Harper said, and Charlie had to admit, he did look concerned.

"Do I really look that bad?" She frowned.

"No, it's just that we used to do the whole lunch thing and then you stopped eating lunch. I just want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. It's a friend's job."

Charlie didn't know what was more surprising, that he noticed or he'd just said he was her friend. Not a lot of people called themselves that.

"Uh, okay. Sounds good." She nodded. "See you tomorrow."

"Take care of yourself." He smiled sincerely.

"I will."

A week later, Sands was doing his regular routine of trying to not be so obvious when watching up on the balcony where the offices were to see if she would pass by or not. Ever since the break-up, he'd only seen her walk along the balcony once or twice. She barely walked to her office anymore which led Sands to believe she'd set up somewhere in the hospital. It had been always been an option, she'd told him, but not one she'd taken for the simple reason that she was closer to the other bosses and wasn't the last to hear everything she should know. For the last year, she also declined the hospital office because she felt that they were trying to make her move there just to get her away from Sands, which her pride wouldn't accept. Now though, it seemed like she might have taken up the offer. He hadn't seen her in so long.

He got up from his desk and began walking through the hall. He frowned when he passed Melissa who was wearing a loose fitted top.

"What are you staring at?" She asked, annoyed.

"Your pregnancy bump." He shrugged, walking past.

She stopped and turned back to him quickly. "She told you?"

Sands turned to face her. "No one told me anything. It's obvious. If anything, that top just makes it more obvious."

Melissa looked down at herself. "No, I- I chose it so it wouldn't…"

"Hey, maybe people will just think you got fat. That'll also be a good thing so no one will want to have sex with you again. Well, they won't anyway when they realise you've ruined one of their lives."

Melissa looked up at him hatefully. "I'm just thankful it's not yours. Macintosh was lucky she dodged that bullet. I couldn't imagine the amount of tears if she realised she had to have your kid. Actually, she's probably lucky to have gotten rid of you from her life altogether."

She turned and walked away, leaving Sands with a very bitter taste in his mouth as he shrugged.

"You try to be nice."

That night he walked into his apartment. He took a few steps but stopped suddenly.

"I was wondering when you'd be stopping by."

"Well, you haven't been to work for the past few weeks," Wyman came down the stairs. "I should fire you but I understand, things have been difficult lately."

Sands shrugged. "I have a strict 'no working for rapists' policy."

"Don't you think if I was some big horrible predator, it would have come out by now?" Wyman asked. "Come on Sheldon, you're not that simple."

"I saw you grab her and admit that you raped her, what else do I need?"

"If you want to get technical, it was rape. Statutory rape or having sex with someone who was seen as too drunk to consent. But I was drunk too and she didn't say no. The truth is we slept together and when she regretted her actions in the morning, she started crying rape. Steven saw through it and that just made her more indignant about the whole thing. It's all been blown out of proportion. The fact of the matter is she liked it."

Sands wanted to hit him. Actually he wanted to kill him but he wasn't an idiot and neither was Wyman, Sands knew it wasn't just the two of them in the apartment. He hadn't left the bathroom door ajar as it was now, no doubt hiding one of Wyman's thugs and the way the curtain was blowing, the balcony door had been slid open which let him know that there was another one out there. Sands so much as tried to go for his gun and he'd find a bullet in his own head.

"You could have lived pretty well if you stayed on my side." Wyman continued.

"I live pretty well with her as it is."

"Still? After she found out the truth? Because I have a feeling you haven't been anywhere near her since that night. Or should I say, the morning after."

"You've been following me?" Sands frowned.

"Have to protect myself, make sure you wouldn't do anything stupid like start blabbering about things you know nothing about. Either of you."

Sands felt angrier at that than he did at the thought of him being followed. "Stay away from her."

"Uh…No." Wyman smirked. "Like I said, I need to protect myself. Don't worry, if she keeps that mouth of hers shut then she'll be safe. I don't want to be cruel to the poor, confused girl. She's had enough men in her life turning against her. First her father, then her boyfriend and now you, the poor thing is really having a hard time of it."

"Yeah, I can tell you're one sympathetic bastard."

"You weren't calling me that when you were taking my money. Tell me, how does she like the car?"

"I don't want your car or your money."

"That's where you're wrong. Even if you hate me, you still want to be rich. You love that car."

"You can take your car and your money and your car and shove them-"

"Now, now Sheldon." Wyman kept his smirk. "Let's keep it civil. Neither of us wants things to get rough."

"I have a feeling that wasn't what you said to her."

"We didn't do a lot of talking." Wyman's smirk grew wider.

Before Sands knew it, his fist had connected with Wyman's jaw. He couldn't help it, that smirk had been asking to be wiped from the man's face. It seemed to be what Wyman had wanted too as when he brought his head back from where it snapped, his now bloody lips still had the smirk.

"That was a mistake."

Sands heard the bathroom door open and saw the balcony door slide back. He looked at the two big men advancing on him and nodded.

"It was worth it though."

* * *

Charlie was awoken suddenly when she heard her phone go off. She groaned and looked over at the clock to see it was three in the morning. She huffed and picked up the phone.

"This better be an emergency."

"Doctor Macintosh?"

Charlie huffed. "Carr, why are you calling me?"

"I think you need to come in."

"What? Harper is in there already, get him to deal with it."

"No, I know he's here but-"

"Carr, tonight you have one boss and it is Harper. I am not around."

"Yes, but-"

Charlie was getting angry at Carr not getting the point and giving up. "Is someone dying?"

"Possibly."

Charlie opened her eyes and frowned. "Who?"

"Agent Sands."

Charlie was sitting up like a shot. "What are you talking about?"

"That's why I called. I figured you would want to deal with this yourself."

"I'll be right there."

* * *

"Where is he?"

"Through here. I've done all the physical exams so far but I think he might need to have x-rays taken."

Carr walked Charlie into a room where a beat up Sands was sitting on the bed.

"Carr, what part of don't tell her did you not understand?" Sands huffed.

"Ignore him." Charlie said, trying not to let it show how horrified she was by how he looked. His entire torso was black and blue or red, his face was a mess and his hands were cut. "Actually, you know what, just leave."

Carr nodded and walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

"What the hell?" Charlie asked, walking over to him. "You're on your own a few weeks and this happens?"

"No, don't worry, I'm fine."

Charlie sighed and began shining a light in his eyes. "What happened?"

"Fell down the stairs. Carr's done that already. I'm fine."

Charlie put the light away but still kept checking him over. "What actually happened?"

"That's all I can say. Ow!" He gasped when she pressed down on a bruise.

"I'm not an idiot, Sands. You may be able to fool everyone out there but not me. What happened?"

Sands sighed. "Wyman paid me a little visit."

Charlie's eyes widened. "What?"

"He didn't do this, him I could have taken. His cronies, not so much."

"Oh God…"

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." Charlie said. "And this is all my fault."

"This isn't your fault. This is because a mission went sour."

"No, this is because you were with me."

"The fact that I'm not liking the past tense in that sentence proves it's not your fault. I wouldn't want to be with someone who gets me battered regularly."

"I told you Wyman was dangerous."

"I told you I'm not scared of him."

"Look at you!"

"I'd rather not. Sugar, he did this to scare you, not me. You can't let him win."

"Let him win? I don't know why he's doing this; I'm not opening my mouth."

"He's scared of you. He must not have liked what he saw in that mansion which is a good thing."

"Yeah, it's terrific." She said sarcastically.

"Whether you like it or not, it is. It's not going to be easy to have but you do have the upper hand right now."

"I don't want it." She argued. "He can have it back."

"Charlie…"

"No! I don't want this fight that you're all trying to throw me into. I kept my mouth shut for a very long time and I planned on keeping it shut. Do I have to go to him and explain that?"

"No." Sands said sternly. "You don't go near him."

Charlie frowned at him. "What did he say to you?"

Sands wasn't going to divulge that Wyman was having her followed. It'd only terrify her more. "Nothing, he's your rapist. It's not his words that matter, he's dangerous."

"I know!" She indicated to him. "And if he thinks I'm going to talk, he's going to keep doing this. He could kill you."

"But he won't because you're not going to let his scare tactics affect you and that'll make him realise they're useless."

"Or make him try it harder."

"Listen to me," Sands felt confident enough to put his hands on her waist and pull her close to him. Luckily, she didn't protest. She looked too broke down to fight anymore. "I am not going to let Wyman hurt you. This, it's nothing compared to some of the stuff I've gone through. A few scratches and bruises, it's not getting the eyes ripped out of my head. Do not let Wyman get inside your head. Stop letting him win."

Charlie looked up into his eyes.

"I'm serious, sugar. You're stronger than this."

Charlie didn't reply but kept looking into his eyes and Sands knew if he kissed her, she wouldn't resist. She seemed to actually want him to do it.

"I haven't been sleeping." He said suddenly. The dream had just popped into his head and put a stop to his bravery. "At all."

"Oh…Well, that's not good for you." Charlie said, stepping back.

"I'm not doing it out of my choosing."

"Well, I can prescribe sleeping pills if you think they'll help."

"Do they stop dreams?"

Charlie frowned. "Dreams?"

"It's why I can't sleep; I'm having these dreams that are keeping me up."

"About what?"

Every time Sands had that dream, he'd wanted to talk to her but seeing her right now, he couldn't do it. "Just different things."

Charlie nodded. "Alright, there isn't really anything that officially stops dreaming, usually if it's the dreams that are affecting you and keeping you awake, it's best to try and deal what you're dreaming about, maybe talk to someone who can help. If you want though, I can prescribe sleeping pills? They probably won't stop the dreams but they'll get you into a deep enough sleep that you won't keep waking up."

Sands sighed. He didn't want the dreams at all but he did need to sleep at some point. "I guess."

She nodded and left the room to go to the hospital pharmacy. She was wondering through the different names for a while before she found one that seemed suitable. She wrote it up and headed back to Sands.

"I brought you your old friend, Eszoplicone. You couldn't remember anything the last ti-"

"It's about you." He cut her off.

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"That dream I keep having? I lied when I said it wasn't a particular dream. It's about you."

"Me?" She realised. "Are you having dreams about what happened when I was seventeen?"

Sands had to tell the truth. "No."

"No?"

"It's not that. It's…Remember when we were in Turkey?"

"When I got shot?"

"No, before that. In the hotel room. The bedroom, to be more specific."

That Charlie definitely didn't understand. "Hey, I only have good memories of being in there."

"Then you're obviously not remembering all of it."

"What?"

"After I tried to teach you how to shoot?"

Charlie thought back and realised what he was talking about. "Wait, Sands, that's what you're obsessing over? That was nothing. It was a misunderstanding."

"It didn't seem like it. I should have stopped the first time."

"You stopped when I asked, that was enough. If anything, that entire thing was my fault. I didn't open my mouth."

"But I knew you were uncomfortable and I kept going."

"Because I told you to!" Charlie tried to argue. "Sands, I thought we sorted this out back then. I know you wouldn't ever try to hurt me that way."

Sands wasn't at all convinced, especially when he took into account what had happened her when she was seventeen. How could she not connect the two events? For Charlie though, as she thought back on it, they couldn't have been more different.

_Charlie lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. Sands was out on the balcony, having a cigarette. She let out a breath as she stretched. It hurt slightly to do that, after quite a rigorous few hours. She'd been enjoying herself but now as she brought her hand down to her thighs, she knew she was finished for a while. Her body wasn't used to the "workout" it'd been getting. She was tired and achy and just wanted to lie there for a while. _

"_You asleep, sugar?"_

_Charlie smiled as he walked back into the room. "Not yet."_

"_Good to hear." He smirked, making his way back onto the bed. She had to admit, she was tired but she quite liked the feeling when he began kissing her neck._

"_Hmmm." She moaned happily. "That's nice."_

"_That's also good to hear." His hand started going down to between her thighs again until he felt her hand shoot down to stop them. He frowned at her. "What's up, sugar? You not enjoying yourself?"_

"_I…No, I am." She all of a sudden felt very insecure. She bet not a lot of women stopped him like this. "I just…I was going to go for a shower." She made up quickly, getting up from the bed. __She gasped when he got up too and she felt his arms wrap around her waist and pull her back against him. _

"_Oh no, day's still young, sugar." He smirked as she turned her head to the side and he caught her lips with his. Charlie responded in the kiss but wondered if she should let him know that secretly, she was exhausted. Her body was sore and she would have preferred to just take a break for a while. He didn't seem to need one though and she didn't want to seem like she wasn't enjoying herself when she was. Although, to be honest with herself, she was more worried about looking inexperienced. He didn't realise it but when it came to things like sex, he did have a habit of making her feel incredibly naïve. Yes, she hadn't been as adventurous in her life with Barry and hadn't really liked sex but sometimes when he asked questions and seemed astounded by her answers, she felt like he might be making fun of her. She knew he wasn't but her insecurity was getting the better of her. _

_When his hand reached up and began massaging her right breast, Charlie let out a moan. It did feel nice. Very nice. When his other hand reached down and began massaging her softly, it felt exquisite. _

"_Hey sugar?" He cooed into her ear._

"_Uh-huh?" She breathed, still focusing on what he was doing to her._

"_Wanna feel something great?"_

"_I'm feeling it right now…"_

_Sands chuckled. "Something better."_

_Charlie opened her eyes and went to turn to him to ask him what he was talking about but he placed his hands on her waist, keeping her facing forward. _

"_No, stay where you are."_

_Now she frowned back at him._

_He chuckled again. "Don't worry sugar, I promised to show you a few new things. Just follow my lead." He brought his hand down to between her thighs and widened them slightly. Charlie felt the blood rushing to her cheeks but not out of excitement. Her thoughts were racing, wondering if she should tell him no but that feeling of insecurity made her keep her mouth shut. This was new and exciting and she wasn't going to ruin it for herself._

_When she felt him enter where his fingers had just been, she let out a moan but out of pleasure or pain she wasn't quite sure. Charlie couldn't help but grimace at the feeling. It was a kind of twisted pleasure in that she'd never felt so full but it was tighter and the quick thrusting was beginning to hurt her already sensitized body. She found herself collapsing forward, one hand grabbing the end board of the bed, the other going to the canopy at the corner and her hands squeezed the wood tightly, hoping to relieve the hard pressure she was experiencing._

_When she moved forward suddenly and Sands saw her hands were completely white with their tight grasp, he realised her shortened breaths weren't out of pleasure, they were out of pain. He stopped._

"_Want me to stop?" He asked, his hands going to her waist._

"_No, no," Charlie tried to make her voice sound anything but strained. "Just maybe a little slower."_

"_Are you sure?"_

_She nodded, knowing it was a lie but not being able to face the embarrassment of making him stop. He'd obviously done this with other women and gotten enjoyment out of it if he was so into it now so why was she the woman who had the problem and not any of the others? "I'm fine."_

_Sands seemed to try and see if she was lying but when she didn't say anymore, he began to slowly resume his movements but didn't see Charlie having to close her eyes tightly, gritting her teeth together. She bit down on her bottom lip hard when he started picking up the pace again, his enjoyment taking over. Maybe he presumed that she was reaching her peak too but she couldn't. She was just in too much pain._

"_Stop…" She breathed but he didn't hear her over his own moans. "Stop, please stop!"_

_She felt Sands retch away from her and he collapsed onto the bed as she felt herself crumple into a heap at the end._

"_Jesus Charlie, why didn't you tell me to stop when I asked?" He said angrily._

"_I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet as she pulled the sheet against her tightly. "I shouldn't have screamed. I just-"_

"_Yeah, I got it." He said shortly._

_This was what she had been trying to avoid. Now he was mad at her. "We could try again…"_

"_No, I don't want to try again!" He sounded angry but he was trying to not direct it at her exactly. Why did he keep going when it was obvious she was in pain? Why did she say it was fine?_

_She tried to not to let out a relieved sigh._

"_Why would you even say that? Do you want to try again?" Sands asked, not believing it one bit._

_Charlie was still for a second before shaking her head. "No."_

"_Then why the hell didn't you just say that? Christ, what do you think I would have-?"_

_He was cut off when she got off the bed and hurried into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Sands lay back on the bed, running his hands over his face, feeling very frustrated for more reasons than one. He put on his pants before walking over to the door and knocking. He could hear the bath running._

"_Charlie?"_

"_Please, just…Give me a minute." He heard her call._

"_You sound like you're going to take more than just a minute in there." He said, referring to the running water._

"_I'm just going for a bath, taking a…Break."_

"_I would like to think you can say you need a break out here instead of feeling you have to lock yourself away in there."_

_Charlie didn't reply._

_Sands sighed. "I'll be out here when you're finished."_

_He walked away from the door and left the bedroom to go out onto the balcony. He lit another cigarette. It was only recently that he'd realised he'd gone so long without smoking. He'd been too busy with his new addiction to focus on his old one but unlike his old one, he had forgotten that his new addiction couldn't withstand his obsession. His new addiction needed a break. He felt bad for yelling at her but he couldn't help it. He turned away from the city view and looked back into the hotel room. It didn't feel great that she felt she had to hide away from him. It also didn't feel great that she couldn't even tell him that she wanted a break. She'd needed to make excuses and then she felt like she had to grit her teeth and just get through it. That wasn't what he wanted her to think of sex, that was how she felt with her ex. He was supposed to be introducing her to how great sex could be. He'd tried to make it clear this morning that he cared about what she felt and what she thought about him, she was the only one, but maybe he hadn't conveyed that well enough. _

_He flicked the cigarette off the ledge and walked back into the hotel room._

_Charlie turned off the faucet and undid her robe before climbing into the hot water. The feeling of her muscles relaxing was like a Godsend and for a few minutes, her pain evaporated. It didn't get rid of her emotional turmoil though. She felt ridiculous. She had a guy in her life that couldn't get enough of her and she felt like she couldn't even appreciate it. _

_Charlie had been mentally berating herself for some time now. Why did she keep getting things wrong? How was this so effortless for some people and she had to lock herself in the bathroom? She didn't want them to as she didn't think they were true anymore but Sands' words in the Border Patrol station were coming back to her. _

"I was glad to finally fuck you. I was expecting better but you've only been with one guy so I won't judge you too harshly. You're just a rookie. I knew that."

_What if he had been telling the truth on some level? What if he had been using that as a way to hurt her but he came up with it because he'd thought it in all seriousness? Charlie __hunched her knees in front of her, wrapping her arms around them and placed her forehead against them. She hated that she was letting a few tears escape. Her head shot up quickly when she heard the key fall out of the lock and onto the floor and knowing what was happening, she dunked her head under the water in a vain attempt to wet her entire face so she could hide her tear stains._

_Sands opened the door and looked down at her._

"_You're crying."_

"_No, I'm not."_

"_You can't hide the red eyes, sugar."_

_Charlie looked away from his gaze so Sands sat on the side of the bath._

"_Just, answer me honestly, why didn't you tell me you didn't want to do it?"_

"_Because I thought you wanted to."_

"_I don't want to do anything where you're going to end up pleading with me to stop."_

"_I didn't mean to do that. I tried to stay quiet."_

"_Sugar, I know you're saying what you think I want to hear but seriously, I could not feel more like a rapist right now."_

"_That's not what I want."_

"_And that's all you have to say." Sands said._

"_Sands, you don't understand. All this is new to me. I know that sounds ridiculous to hear but it's true. And you know I am insecure anyway and that's not something I can easily change. I am sorry if it's not what-"_

"_Do not apologise to me." He said in a reprimanding tone. "I'm not the one here trying to make you feel bad. Don't make it seem like I am."_

_Charlie sighed. "You've done all these different positions and ways before but I haven't and I've never had sex more than once at a time. My body's not used to this. So yeah, I didn't want to do it but I was willing to try because I knew you wanted to do it and I thought I might like the fact that I was making you happy even if I didn't like it myself. I'm just trying things out; I don't know how they'll end."_

"_You know how you're defending yourself by saying you just want to see me satisfied? Why don't you think I want the same for you?" He asked. She didn't have an answer. "I don't want to have sex with you in a way one of us won't like when I could have sex in a way that we both like."_

_Charlie looked down into the water. "I just thought…"_

"_Were you in pain?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Was I hurting you?"_

"_Sands…"_

"_Was I?"_

_Charlie sighed. "No, it wasn't that you were hurting me..."_

"_Sounded like it."_

"_What I meant was, I was just sore anyway. It wasn't that you were hurting me, I was just too sore to do it."_

"_But you told me not to stop? You let me keep hurting you?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Sugar, don't do that again." His tone was trying to be soft but it was more firm than he'd hoped. It wasn't a request. "I want our sex life to be fun; I don't want you to have to take a bath afterwards because you're in so much pain."_

"_Could you hand me that towel, please?" She asked, indicated behind him._

"_You feeling better or are you just trying to get away from me?"_

"_The towel, please."_

_Sands sighed and handed her the towel. Charlie got up and wrapped it around herself as Sands stood up and began to walk out of the bathroom._

"_Sands." She called but he kept walking. "Sheldon."_

_He stopped and turned to her. She held out her hand for him to help her out of the bath so he walked over and took her hand, expecting her to get out but instead he felt her pull his hand so he was close to her before one hand went to his shoulder and the other went to his jaw as she kissed him softly. When it parted, she kept her forehead against his._

"_I know you would never try to hurt me."_

"_That makes one of us."_

"_Please don't beat yourself up about this." Charlie begged. "You didn't know."_

"_I should have. I don't want to be another person who hurts you and I don't want you to quietly grow to resent me. You're the one good thing in my life; I don't want you to go away."_

"_I'm not going anywhere." She promised. "From now on, it's you and me."_

_Sands kissed her again before helping her out of the bath._

Thinking back to that memory, Charlie looked into his eyes and contemplating her promise. She saw the same look in his eyes that she felt was conveyed in her own and she didn't stop him when he stood up and pressed himself closer to her. When he kissed her, she couldn't help but kiss him back. She'd missed him just as much as he'd missed her. He ignored the pain it caused to press her against him because just having her in his arms again was more than worth it.

"Doctor Maci-Oh…"

The two parted quickly when Carr came back into the room. When both looked at her quickly, she turned and left the room in a hurry.

"That might not be good." Sands said.

Charlie sighed. "I better go after her." She looked back at him. "I'll send someone in to get you x-rayed, see if there's anything broken and you're staying here tonight."

"What? No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You're responding fine now but I want you to be watched over, just in case. I'm also going to have to check for internal bleeding."

She turned to leave the room but Sands' voice stopped her. "What was that kiss?"

She sighed. "I don't know."

She left the room and soon found Carr.

"Carr…"

"Mhmm?" The woman wouldn't look at her.

"What you just saw…" Charlie began.

"I didn't see anything. I was here the whole time."

Charlie scrutinised her. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." Carr looked at her.

Charlie nodded. "Thank you."

"Well you're a good boss. He's a dick though."

Charlie sighed. "You're not wrong."

"I hope you don't think I'm being too insubordinate but…I thought you were smarter."

Charlie did want to tell her she was being insubordinate but she couldn't seeing as she now owed Carr and anyway, she could understand that Carr still hated Sands after screwing her over. "It was just a slip."

"Maybe for you."

Charlie shook her head. "It won't happen again."

She walked away and back into Sands' room. He was still waiting there.

"She gonna spill?"

"No." Charlie replied. "Though she lost all respect for me."

"As long as her blabbing doesn't get you killed, it's fine."

"Not for me." She walked over to him. "Can you walk?"

"I drove myself here, I can walk."

Charlie nodded. "Walk over to the X-ray machine." She pointed over to the other side of the room.

Sands shook his head. "Nothing's broken."

"I'll be the judge of that. Go on."

Sands hopped off the table but hissed at the feeling. He hobbled over to the table and hopped up but not as spritely as he usually would have. Charlie tried to help him but he swatted her off.

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, you look it." She huffed. "Lie back."

Sands did so and she started the machine up. After a while, he was eating his words.

"Two broken ribs." She informed him. "I'm not too worried about internal bleeding anymore though so that's good."

"Terrific."

"You're still staying here tonight though."

"Why? It's just a few broken ribs. Drug me up and let me go home."

"No." She said shortly. "I will bandage you up and give you sleeping pills that don't interact with your pain killers and you can sleep."

"But not stop dreaming."

"Well, you're dreaming for stupid reasons."

"Thanks." He said sarcastically.

"It's true. There's no reason for you to feel guilty about something that happened a year ago and didn't ruin anything. I slept with you a lot of times since and really enjoyed it so obviously, it was fine. You need to stop comparing yourself to Wyman with what happened in Florida or Turkey or whatever, you're nothing like him. I wouldn't love you if you were. You're the complete opposite of that man when it comes to me."

She hadn't looked up into his eyes when she said it but Sands looked straight at her.

"Come back to me."

She shook her head. "No."

"You're just as miserable as I am. I can see it."

"Doesn't matter."

"It does. I can make you happy."

Charlie didn't feel like anything could make her happy these days. Having to split herself from him had just been another cut into her life. She had a lot of them recently and all were affecting her more than she liked. But she still had the same reasons she broke up with him now that she did then. It was hard and it hurt her but it had been incredibly hurtful when he did what he did to her. "Is he still here?"

Sands frowned. "Who?"

"My dad. Is he still in Virginia? You're still on your mission so you must know."

"Last I heard, he was. I haven't spoken to either of them since that night. Well Wyman broke that record tonight but that wasn't out of my choosing."

"You can't abandon your mission, the CIA won't let you."

"There's nothing I can do if they want nothing to do with me and they don't. I have to get to Sharma through some other way."

"And have you?"

"Not yet. I'm working on it."

"Well you won't be for the next few weeks. You gotta rest up and heal."

"No."

"Sands…"

"No."

"I'm recommending it to the bosses so you have no choice. They won't let you work if it's against doctor's orders, they're not allowed."

"Charlie, all I kinda have at the moment is my job so if you could please let me keep it…"

"You're not losing it. You've worked too hard to keep it."

"Charlie, I know you can't see it but I did what I did to save you in the long run. The CIA plays dirty and I am trying to fight them as best I can but sometimes they have to win in order for us to stay safe."

Charlie shook her head. "I know but like I said, if this is something the CIA are going to start doing, then I'm not strong enough to cope." Before he could reply though, she sighed. "I'm going to tell them to prepare a room for you."

She turned and left the room quickly and went to the nurses' station. "I need a room prepared for Agent Sands; he'll be staying in the hospital for a few days."

"Okay, doctor."

"When it's ready, he's in the x-ray room and Doctor Carr will be his doctor for the rest of his stay so page her and tell her to go into him."

Charlie finished and walked into the female bathroom which was thankfully empty. She couldn't go back into him. He was breaking her down, making her weak around him like always. It broke her heart to think that he was obsessing and feeling guilty over what happened in Turkey, thinking he'd hurt her like Wyman. He could never do that.

Charlie sank to the floor, up against the wall as she thought back to later that day.

"_How are you feeling?"_

"_Much better." Charlie smiled. She'd just woken up to see on the clock that it was now evening and Sands had been working on his laptop but was now looking down at her. "Thank you for understanding."_

_Sands shrugged. "I'm an understanding guy."_

_She sat up. It had been a good few hours since their misunderstanding and in that time, they'd eaten and she'd slept. He never seemed to need much sleep. She did feel refreshed and better now. She wasn't up to anything too rigorous but she felt like she could show her appreciation in a calmer way. "Who knew?" She smirked, kissing his neck for a change this time._

_Sands smirked and turned to look at her. "Feeling better, are we?"_

"_A little bit."_

"_How little?"_

"_Just enough."_

_Sands nodded. "You sure?"_

_Charlie pulled back from slightly. He noticed a mischievous twinkle in her eye as she sat back and grabbed the notepad and pen by the phone and began writing._

"_What are you doing?" He asked._

"_I'm making a list."_

_He pointed to the laptop. "Of potential people trying to kill you?"_

_Charlie frowned. "That might have been a better idea."_

"_What's your list?"_

"_I don't know if you'll like it."_

"_Just tell me."_

_Charlie handed it to him. "It's a list of things I won't do in bed."_

_Sands looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You're serious? You made a list?"_

"_I just want to get everything organised and out of the way, just so something like a while ago won't happen again."_

"_Jesus…Alright, I'll bite. I bet I can guess number one." Sands looked down at the list. "Yup, I was right…Hmmm, okay…Fair enough…I don't like that either…Oh Jesus," Sands held the list up to her with a frown. "Where did number four come from? Did Benny like that?"_

"_I don't know, I never did it with him."_

"_My respect for you just grew a whole bunch." He said, going back to the list. "Wait, have you ever even tried number six?"_

"_No and I don't plan to."_

"_But you'll never know if you like it unless you try it! Some women do."_

"_I'm not doing it. It's non-negotiable."_

_Sands was about to argue but sighed. "Fine, it's up to you." He handed back the list. "I don't have to sign it or anything, do I?"_

"_No." She said, not amused. She took it and crumpled it up. "Now that we're clear on that, where were we?"_

"_No longer attempting number six."_

_Charlie slapped him on the arm._

"_Ow," Sands closed the laptop and put it on the floor before he sat back on the bed to lie down next to where she was sitting and started fiddling with the sheet around her. "So, now I know the stuff you don't like, why don't you tell me your favourites?"_

"_My favourites? You can't tell?"_

"_Thinking to myself defeats the purpose of dirty talk."_

"_Oh my God…" Charlie cringed but smiled nonetheless. "It's definitely different."_

"_Good?"_

_She leant down so her face was close to his. "Oh yeah."_

"_How?"_

"_I can't believe you're asking."_

"_Just want to know what you're liking, what to keep in the game. So, tell me." He said, his fingers lightly grazing her thigh._

"_Let me think…" She pretended to ponder before looking down at him. "The eye contact."_

_Sands frowned. "What?"_

"_The fact that you actually look at me, that it matters that I'm the one you're sleeping with."_

"_Of course it matters that it's you."_

"_Yeah, well…It never has been." She said, not looking at him now._

"_He never did?"_

"_Not really…It was never about me. I never thought to be offended by it until I realised how nice it was with you."_

_Sands sat up properly and pressed his lips against her, his hands wrapping around her waist._

"_What else? I don't want to focus on what you don't like, there's no point in that, I want to know what your favourite is."_

"_My favourite?" Charlie repeated._

"_Yeah."_

"_I guess it would to be when," She straddled him. "I sit on your lap and you wrap your arms around me tightly like you're never going to let me go." Sands did just that as she wrapped one arm around his shoulders. "And as you know, you're looking into my eyes which means it's important that I'm the one you're with, you want to look at me."_

"_Always."_

_She smiled before pressing her body against his, allowing him to slide inside her which caused her a sharp intake of breath as their bodies began to move._

"_Keep going." Sands said, his hand going to clasp the side of her face. "I want to know everything you want."_

"_And our bodies get really close to each other and then they begin to move together but slowly so it lasts longer." She narrated. "And then you kiss me…"_

_Sands kissed her, trying to keep it soft in keeping with the tone she had set. When the kiss parted, Sands examined every inch of her face as she moved on top of him. Her eyes were closed now and her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth agape. Sands could see the pleasure etched into her face as she quietly panted and found a satisfaction in knowing he was doing it to her. She was right, looking into her face was the best way to do this. Her lids fluttered open and their eyes met as Sands stroked her cheek with his thumb._

_She could feel herself letting go. Unlike last time, the slow, careful movements didn't feel rough against her body, it felt better than it felt worse this time._

"_Say it." She moaned. "Please."_

"_That I love you? Sugar, it's fucking obvious."_

"_I-"_

"I am not being his doctor!"

Charlie frowned and came out of the memory when Carr stormed into the bathroom. She stood up. "What?"

"I'm not being his doctor!"

"Carr, you're a doctor and you're supposed to be objective."

"Then you be his doctor!"

"I'm not supposed to be here. You were the doctor that was on call when he came in so you-"

"Harper is on call too, get him to do it."

Charlie huffed but didn't argue. "Fine. I will get Harper on the case. Now go do the job you're actually willing to do and stop wasting time by throwing a tantrum."

Carr rolled her eyes and began to walk out of the bathroom but turned to Charlie. "Does the fact that I am keeping a very important secret for you mean nothing?"

"Carr, if you're going to do something nice, do it without throwing it in someone's face .Tell, don't tell, that's your choice but I'm your boss and I have to act like your boss. I have had a rough night and you are the least of my problems so for the last time, go do your job."

Carr glared and left the bathroom and Charlie closed her eyes, frustrated.

She left the bathroom and went to the nurses' station. "Doctor Harper will be attending to Agent Sands, not Doctor Carr."

"Who am I attending to?"

Charlie turned to see Harper had been walking up the hall and heard his name being said.

"Do you ever leave?" He smiled.

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Who am I attending to?" He asked again.

Charlie sighed and indicated over to away from the nurses' station. Harper followed her down the hall where she turned and faced him.

"Sands."

Harper frowned. "Sands? Your guy?"

"He's not my guy."

Harper shrugged. "What happened him?"

"Mission went wrong. He's beat up and has a few broken ribs. He doesn't want to stay here though so you know, make him."

"I can do that." Harper nodded, pressing the lift button. "Once again, go home."

Charlie looked back at where Sands was.

"Charlie, I got this." He said. "Go home."

She turned back to him. "Okay. But please just, don't mention me or anything like that."

"I'm not going to. I'm a doctor, he's my patient. There's no need to get personal."

She nodded. "Okay. I just-"

The lift dinged and the doors opened.

"Go." Harper pointed to the doors.

Charlie walked into the elevator and Harper stayed until the doors had closed behind her. Once she was gone, he turned and walked into the hospital pharmacy himself. Once he found what he was looking for, he made his way to where Sands was to see the man getting dressed.

"Agent Sands, I'm Doctor Harper. I'll be your doctor while you stay here."

Sands frowned. He'd never even seen this guy before. Where was Charlie? "I'm not staying here."

"Doctor Macintosh mentioned that, alright. If you're really opposed to leaving then I'd at least like to give you an ultra-strength painkiller."

Sands frowned. "You're not going to try and make me stay?"

"It's a few cracked ribs," Harper shrugged. "What's the difference between lying in bed here and lying in bed at home? At least at home, you won't be aggravating your injury, trying to leave."

Sands nodded. "Right. So I'm going to go."

"But like I said, I'd prefer to send you off with a better painkiller."

"Then give it to me." He held out his hand.

Harper held up a syringe. "It's taken intravenously so if you don't mind."

Sands huffed and let Harper take his arm and inject him. "What is this painkiller anyway?"

"Propofol."

Sands frowned. "Propofol? That's to knock someone out."

"Exactly." Harper smiled. "But the fact that you trust me enough to let me inject you without asking what it was beforehand shows that you're going to be an ideal patient while you stay here."

Sands was already getting woozy. "You son of a-"

He fell to the floor, unconscious and Harper caught him so he'd land more softly.

Harper walked out to the door and opened it.

"Little help?"

* * *

"How long you manage to keep him?"

"Three days. He escaped yesterday."

"Wow, I think that's a record."

"Well, I aim to be the best."

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Get used to losing when you work with me."

"Yeah, we'll see."

"Do an eye transplant and we'll talk."

"How about a pancreaticoduodenectomy?"

"That's just called a whipple now."

"It's sounds better the other way."

Charlie chuckled. "True."

"What are those?" He frowned, indicating to some tickets that were lying on her desk.

"Oh, my mom sent me those. Swan Lake is in town and she knows I like ballets. She has a friend in the company who lets her know if any shows are coming my way and then she sends me tickets."

"Nice."

Charlie shrugged. "I don't usually go. My ex never wanted to. He wasn't really the sitting in the audience type. Although he did like making a show." His stunt at the factory definitely proved that.

"But you're going to go this time?" Harper asked. "I'll cover your shift if you need."

Charlie looked over at the tickets. The two tickets. She picked them and handed them to him. "You go, bring Mila. I'm sure she'd love it. All little girls want to be ballerinas."

Harper frowned. "What? No, Charlie, they're yours."

"I'm not going anyway so you might as well."

Harper took the tickets but a better idea had come to mind.

* * *

Sands was driving through the town and looking around him. Ever since Wyman had paid him that visit and let him know that Charlie could be being followed, he'd been trying to keep tabs on her safety. Wyman obviously wasn't messing around as his pain regularly reminded him. It was why he was so vehement to leave the hospital when that dick of a new guy was trying to stop him.

He was surprised when Charlie led him to the theatre. She looked absolutely stunning with a black strapless corset dip hem dress of which the skirt was sky blue. Her hair was in down in elegant waves. She hadn't gone inside yet but instead was standing around outside which made Sands wonder more.

He didn't have to wonder when he saw his doctor hurry up to her and she smiled at him as he kissed her on the cheek. She handed him a ticket and they walked inside. Sands stayed frozen in anger.

_What the fuck is she doing with that guy?_

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait. I'm so busy lately. I'm glad I've finally gotten those Turkey flashbacks in. They weren't originally flashbacks as I wrote them when the Turkey story was happening but never really found a place for them but now I have. Also, who's loving or hating Harper? I'm glad I got more of him into the story.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"I'm taking the day off."

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'm taking the day off. I'm sick."

"I'm sorry; I've just never heard you say those words."

"People do get sick, you know. As a doctor, you should know that."

"Yeah but I always figured you were some super-robot who didn't have an immune system."

Charlie chuckled before coughing and taking the phone away. When she was done, she brought the phone back to her ear. "Sorry about that."

"Jeez, you do sound sick." Harper grimaced.

"That's because I am." She groaned. "So you're either going to have to reschedule the surgery today or get another doctor on it."

"Other doctor, it is. I don't trust you to make a miraculous recovery and it needs to get done."

"I have the flu, I'm not dying."

"Sounds like it." Harper said. "Look, take a few days off, rest up and remember you can't come back here while sick and contagious."

"Because hospitals never have sick people?"

"Not doing the treating. Get well soon."

"No, don't hang-"

Charlie huffed when the phone went dead. She put it down and closed her eyes, cuddling into her pillow with a groan. She felt absolutely awful. Her head was throbbing, her throat was raw, she had spent the night vomiting and she knew there was more coming because she felt so nauseous.

_I'm never going to be well again._

* * *

Sands stepped out of the elevator that evening and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

Sands frowned. Her voice was so hoarse and croaked and he could hear that her nose was blocked.

"It's me."

She frowned. "Sands?"

"Will you open the door?"

"No."

Sands had to frown now. "No? You're not even going to look at me now?"

"No, it's not that. I'm sick. I don't want you to catch anything."

"I'll be fine; I need you to open the door."

"Why do you need me to open it? Can't you just call me?"

Sands realised. "I don't care if you're looking less than well."

"I wish I looked less than well. I look dead."

Sands huffed. "What do you care how I see you now? We're not together, remember?"

"I…I don't want anyone to see me like this." She half-lied. His opinion mattered more than most, no matter what their relationship was like.

"I don't care how you look." Sands continued. "I've seen you without make-up, I've seen you when you've just woken up, I think I can handle seeing you sick."

"Sands, I don't think you understand. This isn't sick but still looking pretty good like on television, this is really damn sick."

"Charlie, you have seen me with no eyes. You can't top that."

"Wanna bet?"

"Yes. I will bet you one million dollars that you could not possibly look as revolting as I did when I had no-Oh Jesus." He grimaced when she opened the door. Her hair wasn't sleek but in frizzy curls with the front parts pulled back with bobby pins. It wasn't just that she wasn't wearing make-up but her nose was bright red and a little swollen from being rubbed with tissues so much and her eyes were watering and almost milky and her face was pale but that showed off her freckles a bit more.

"Nice." She said sarcastically. "Can you please leave me alone now?"

"No. Look, I'm sorry I blurted that. You look…Nope, you look like death." He shook his head.

Charlie groaned and walked over to her couch and lay down, burying her head in a cushion.

"Okay, I'll stop." He said, walking inside. Buster ran up to him excitedly and started jumping up on him, looking for attention. "Hey buddy." Sands crouched down to the dog whose tail was wagging fiercely. "I've missed you."

Charlie watched on surreptitiously at the two interacting after so long, her heart melting a little. It was sweet to see how the two were so happy to see each other. Sands caught her looking and stood up.

"No more talk of how you look. You look fine."

"Liar." She replied with a little smile.

"I'm not lying. I said fine, not well."

Charlie sniffled. "What do you want?"

"I, uh…I have to get my stuff back."

Charlie was shocked by that for a second before nodding. "Oh, of course." She sat up from the couch. "If you don't mind me asking, why now? I mean, it's been a while."

Sands shrugged. "I thought we'd get over this."

That took her aback. Did him being here mean he didn't anymore? She didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Oh, okay."

He walked over to the chest of drawers and began taking out his things. He tried to work quickly and quietly because he didn't know what would be his breaking point, what she might say to make him falter and beg her to take him back.

He turned back to her when he was done to see that her eyes had been on him. He walked over to her and looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"What?" She frowned.

"You're uh, you're wearing my t-shirt."

It was then that Charlie remembered she was indeed wearing his _'F.B.I Female Body Inspector' _t-shirt with her pyjama pants. "Oh…Do you want it back?" She looked back up at him.

"No, no, it's fine, keep it." He said. "If it makes you feel better."

She knew where that was coming from, if she kept the t-shirt now, which she wanted to do, she'd be admitting she missed him. "Thanks."

Sands couldn't help but smirk. "No problem. If you're looking for anything else…"

"Don't push it. It's just that it's loose and comfortable."

_And it smells like you and reminds me of you._

"There's, uh…There's a few more things in the closet." She said.

Sands nodded and walked into the closet. Charlie sighed when he was gone and looked down at the t-shirt. She probably should have told him he could take it back but in that moment, she couldn't. She needed to keep at least one thing. Feeling sick and miserable, she lay down on the couch properly.

After a while, he came back out.

"I think that's every…"

Sands' words died on his lips when he left the closet and looked over to see Charlie asleep on the couch. He was considering leaving but couldn't resist putting the bag down and walking over to the bed, pulling off the duvet and walking back over to the couch to place it on top of her. He crouched down by her head and stroked through her frizzy hair before leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

_I wish you'd chosen me, sugar._

Charlie woke up a few hours later, feeling a tiny bit better. It was dark outside now and it was dark inside the apartment. She looked down to see her bed cover on top of her on the couch and soon realised how it could have gotten there. She looked around to see if he was still here but by the sight of Buster lying by the door, waiting for it to open again, she knew he was gone. Sighing, she lay back down on her couch. That had been the longest she'd slept in a while. She couldn't lately what with everything that had happened. She was getting more and more flashbacks, especially since Wyman had attacked Sands. It was affecting her more than she wanted to admit.

She pulled her duvet up around to cover her more and stayed on the couch for the rest of the night.

A few days later, Sands was lying on his couch and watching a movie. He frowned when there was a knock on his door. He paused the movie and got up, walking to the door and answering it. A still pretty sick looking Charlie was on the other side. In her hand was Buster's leash.

"What are you doing here?"

"Here."

Sands was surprised when Charlie let Buster off the leash and the dog hurried into the apartment.

"What are you doing?" Sands frowned.

"Sharing." She said. "He misses you. He spends ages at the door some days just waiting for you to walk through it so I figured we'd compromise. When you're home, you take him and when you have to go on missions, he'll stay with me. We both get him."

"Won't that just mix him up?"

Sands and Charlie looked into the apartment to see Buster lying on his back on the couch with his tongue lolling out at one side, happy as can be.

"He seems pretty comfortable." Charlie noted before sneezing. "Oh God, sorry. Look, he's happy in both places and we both love having him around but at the end of the day, Buster is yours. It's not fair that I always have him so we can compromise."

"What about the CIA?"

Charlie shrugged. "I ran it past Crowley who I knew would think through things fairly. He said as long as the dog is picked up in the CIA parking lot whenever one of us have to take him, it should be doable. This is what's best for Buster."

Sands had to admit, he didn't hate having Buster back. "You won't feel too lonely on your own? Or unsafe?"

"I'll be fine." She said. She was lying though; she just already felt lonely and scared all the time so she didn't know how that would change without Buster. "I better be going."

"How are you feeling now?" Sands asked as she turned to leave.

"Uh…Still pretty sick but I'll get over it. I'm abusing the Nyquil like nobody's business."

"You okay to drive?"

Charlie laughed. "Hopefully. I think I'll be- Are you watching _The Wizard of Oz_?"

Sands looked back at the television. "Uh, yeah. Yes I am."

Charlie smiled. "That was my favourite movie when I was a kid."

"Mine too, much to my dad's annoyance." Sands smirked. He turned back to her. "It just started, they're still in black and white, you wanna stay and watch it?"

Charlie hesitated.

"It's just a movie." Sands shrugged.

She nodded with a little smile. "Okay, sounds goo- What's that smell?"

Sands stood up straighter. "Nothing."

Charlie looked around and eventually her eyes settled over in his kitchen before looking back at him. "Are you…Cooking?"

"No…"

"You clearly are."

"I'm just…Learning how to cook."

Charlie didn't believe him and so, walked over to the kitchen and looked at all the ingredients and smelled something familiar. "You're cooking Puerco pibil? That thing that takes four hours and a whole load of work? Doesn't look like you're a beginner."

"Thanks, that's encouraging."

"Sands!"

"I didn't tell you!" He confessed quickly. "Alright, so I can cook."

"Why did you lie to me all those months saying you couldn't?" She frowned. "Since before we even got together! Why? What was the point of lying?"

"I was…I didn't…"

"Tell me!"

"I didn't want to cook all the time!"

Charlie frowned at him. "What?"

"You can't cook…But I can…"

"You thought I would make you cook all the time if I knew you could?"

"It's just the logical thing. If one person can cook and the other can't, you get the person who can to cook."

"And you were afraid I'd take advantage of this so you lied?" She looked at him angrily.

"In my defence…" He began without knowing what his defence was. "Puerco Pibil is not that much work."

Charlie looked like she was about to hit him. "Enjoy your simple food and your stupid movie."

She turned and stormed out of the apartment.

Sands huffed and walked back to his couch where Buster sidled up to him. He scratched the dog's fur.

"So close…"

* * *

"Feeling better?"

"Of course." Charlie nodded, feeling less confident that she sounded a week or two later.

Harper smiled. "That's good to hear. And to ease you back into things…" He handed her a chart.

"A biopsy?" Charlie frowned.

"In the brain. Have fun."

Charlie smiled. "I will."

She wasn't so certain an hour later.

"Charlie, wait!"

Charlie kept walking, ignoring her name being called. She made her way into her office and closed the door behind her but it was soon opened as Harper, who had been following her, barged in.

"Charlie."

"Get out." She said, breathlessly. She was shaking and felt like she was going to vomit.

"Charlie, look at me." Harper tried to look into her eyes. "Charlie, breathe." It didn't seem like she could. "Look, sit down." He brought her over to the couch and sat her down before going to the little fridge where bottles of water were kept. He took one out and handed it to her. After a while, she calmed down and managed to drink the water. "What happened?"

"I just…" She didn't know. "I just felt like I couldn't breathe and I…My hands wouldn't stop shaking. I was terrified and dizzy and I couldn't feel anything."

Harper frowned. "It sounds like you had a panic attack."

"Over surgery?" She frowned. She was just about to go in to operate when she had to run away. She was even still in her scrubs. Harper had been watching from the gallery and saw her panic. "I never panic over surgery, it's the one thing I always know I'll do right."

He shrugged. "Is there anything else going on that you might be worried over? Something that triggered it?"

Charlie sighed. She had too much in her life that could have triggered it. "What am I going to do? I'm not much use if I can't even do my job."

"Has this happened before?" He asked. "That sense of panic?"

Charlie didn't want to admit it but had to. "Yes."

"When?"

"Last year, when I came back from Mexico and I found out about my wrist. Everything just…The doctor diagnosed me with PTSD and put me on Zoloft."

"Did you talk to anyone? A therapist?"

"Not really. I mean, I did but she…She blabbed all my secrets for a few dollars. She wasn't much help anyway. I took her to court a few months ago and she's not a therapist anymore. I had to go back to Malibu to do it." Charlie had gotten a nice payday out of that too; it's what she used to pay for her apartment in Virginia. It was the one time Sands was allowed be around her, but had a partner then too to track his every movement so they never saw each other. Outside the court house was when he asked her to take Buster.

"Maybe you should talk to one again, a good one." Harper suggested. "I don't think you're over what happened."

That was true. She never really did get over killing Lupe and she was never allowed mention that to Corrigan. She'd thought about Lupe a lot lately now that Wyman was back. Her wanting revenge on Wyman was like when Lupe wanted revenge on Sands. If she wanted Wyman dead, did she deserve what Lupe did? She'd spent the last year trying to convince herself that Lupe needed to die; did Charlie need the same if Wyman died because of her? There was also him being back in general that was putting her on edge, she was having flashbacks of what he did to her, more nightmares than usual with no one to make her feel better. She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, and she could barely get out of bed in the mornings. It was terrifying her that the PTSD might be back. Now she was having panic attacks? When she stepped inside operating room, she just knew that she might kill the patient. It terrified her. That wasn't a good sign.

"A therapist can't help me." She said. "I don't think anyone can."

Harper sighed. "I think it's best you take some time off."

Charlie frowned at him. "What?"

"You have things going on in your life that you need to focus on before you focus on work. It's more important that you're healthy. Take some personal time."

"I can't…"

"You're going to have to if you can't perform surgery. You're going to need to deal with it."

Charlie put her head in her hands. "Oh my God…"

"Charlie, it's okay." He put his hand on her back. "What happened to you in Mexico was awful; people can't just get over it. I just...I really think you need to talk to someone."

Charlie nodded. He was right. She did need to talk to someone. The person who made all this come back into her life.

She needed to talk to her father.

* * *

_Just do it. _

Charlie stepped out of her car and walked up to the big, wooden door. She knocked and waited for someone to answer but no one did. Charlie frowned and looked out to see her father's car parked outside. She knocked again but there was still no answer. She stepped out of the big porch and looked up at the mansion. The curtains weren't drawn upstairs and the place didn't look empty. She did notice that two windows downstairs had the curtains pulled though. She walked back over to the door, getting a bad feeling, and pushed down the door handle, finding it unlocked and the door opened. She walked inside.

"Hello?"

There was no answer through the house. She walked further into the foyer.

"Dad? Are you in here?" Charlie felt uneasy, walking through the house. Her stomach was in knots as to why he might not be answering her. Her, especially. Surely he would have come running at hearing her call.

_Calm down, maybe he's just not here._

_If he's not here, why is his car outside? Why was the door open?_

"Dad? It's Charlie." She called. "Look, we need to talk." She walked into the office. "Dad?"

She looked around and nearly skimmed over the table but quickly looked back when she saw a foot.

"Dad?"

* * *

Charlie looked up and stood when Sands hurried into the hospital waiting room and looked around for her.

"Sands."

He looked in her direction and hurried over, pulling her close to him and she buried her head in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," She said, lifting her had so her lips were by his ear. "I didn't know who else to call."

"Me." He replied. "I'm who you should have called."

He was secretly very satisfied that she had called him instead of the new guy.

She pulled away slightly and smiled weakly at him.

"What happened?" He asked.

She walked back to her seat and Sands followed, occupying the one next to hers. "I went back to the mansion today to talk to him…"

"You did?"

"Not to make up or anything, to try and talk him out of doing something stupid but when I got there, I realised it was too late."

"Were you afraid this would happen?" He frowned.

Charlie shook her head. "No. Honestly, I wish I could say I was that considerate but I didn't think he was back to using. I was afraid he would tell people about what happened. I was worried about myself."

"I still don't understand why you don't want people to know the truth about Wyman."

"Not about Wyman, about me. I don't want people to know my secrets."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Sands said. "No one would-"

"Sands, you don't get it." She huffed. "If it gets out what happened, everyone will look at me differently. I'll be some victim and that is the last thing I want people to see me as."

"What people?"

"People in the CIA-"

"You care about what those fuckers think?"

"Not when they think I'm a bitch but I do not want them to pity me or to start treating me differently."

"You mean with respect?"

"It's not respect if I didn't earn it."

"What's the worst that would happen? They might stop coming onto you? Stop talking about you like you're some sex toy that's there for their amusement?" Sands was very confused as to why she didn't want this. "And Wyman-"

"And nothing would happen to Wyman. Are you forgetting something called the statute of limitations? It's run out."

"Surely there's something…"

Charlie sighed. "The prosecution for sexual assault has a statute of limitations of six years in California if the crime was not one of aggravated rape or child molestation." She saw Sands frown at her. "I looked it up."

"You were seventeen when it happened. You were a minor in the eyes of the law which puts you under the aggravated assault category which makes it a felony…"

"Stop. Please, stop. I've explored every avenue and the best I could do would be go to civil court and get money for my 'damages' and that is not something I want."

"Why did you look all this up? Were you thinking of filing charges at some point?"

"No but I knew all this coming up again would make people want me to."

"People? Me?"

"No, I figured you would just want to shoot him."

"Which I do but he's gone into hiding after he took care of this." He pointed at his still beat up face.

"You look better." Charlie said. He did, his bruising wasn't so dark and the swelling had gone down.

"You're a terrible liar, sugar."

Charlie placed her hand against his battered face. "You should have stayed in the hospital."

Sands all of a sudden felt very bitter. "I'm not a fan of the new guy."

"Harper? He's nice."

"Don't care."

"Didn't think you would." She took her hand away.

"I prefer it when you're my doctor."

She sighed. "I'm not anyone's doctor at the moment."

Sands frowned. "Why not?"

"I was told to take some personal time." She admitted. "I'm back on Zoloft."

Sands didn't like to hear that. "That anti-depressant thing for PTSD? Why?"

"Because I can't cope. I'm having flashbacks to what happened when I was seventeen and I started having panic attacks, even in work. I can't perform surgery because I keep thinking I'm going to kill someone. I just can't deal with the anxiety and the hyper vigilance and…And everything."

"Charlie…" Sands didn't know what to say. "You shouldn't go through this alone. Even if you don't want to be with me, talk to me. I'm the only one who knows everything..." He was secretly hoping she'd say yes because he knew that if they spent time together, she'd come back to him. It was selfish and snaky to try and use helping her to get her to himself but he didn't mind that.

"You're not the only one. It's why I went to see my dad. I was afraid he would want to confess this big secret."

"You hated your dad for not helping you. Now he does want to help you and you're against it?"

"I wanted his help when I was seventeen. I wanted his help the morning after it happened. I wanted his help when I was bruised and bleeding and should have gone to a hospital. Now I've tried to move on and create a life for myself after everything and he wants to help now? He only wants to go to the police because he thinks it'll make me forgive him. He doesn't even get it."

Sands wasn't sure he did either. "Isn't it good he wants to go to the police?"

Charlie sighed. "He doesn't want to go to the police because it's the right thing to do; it's a ploy to get my forgiveness. He should want to do it because he's partners with a rapist. He shouldn't be using what happened to me as a bargaining chip. He should have helped when I was seventeen. Then it would have been the right thing to do. Now it just seems fake. If he wants to do good then he can get out of business with Wyman, buy him out or something, but don't splash my past all over the news."

"If he did get out of business with Wyman, would you start talking to him again?"

Charlie sighed. "No. We're different people now, Sands, and there's no relationship there anymore."

"He's your dad."

"How many times a week do you talk to your dad?"

"Point taken."

"And you're not killing Wyman."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"Yes I-"

"Sands!" She said annoyed. "You are not killing Wyman. If you do, I will never forgive you."

"Charlie, I am not letting him get away with what he did, not to you."

"If that man is killed because of what he did to me, that makes me worse than him."

"Hardly. Charlie, the guy raped you and got away with it."

"People get away with things all the time. You did."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"I keep thinking about Lupe." She admitted.

That confused Sands. "Lupe?"

"I killed her because she was going to kill you. But she was going to kill you because you killed her daughter. You know I don't regret saving you at all, I would do it again in heartbeat. Lupe went too far and I did what I thought was right but I mean, if I go looking for revenge against Wyman the way she went looking for revenge against you, don't I deserve what I felt she did? If I can't regret what I did to Lupe then shouldn't I agree that I deserve just as much as her?"

Sands thought about it. "No, you don't."

Charlie frowned at him. "Why not?"

"Because you didn't make the decision that Ajedrez made. She put herself in a position where she was dealing with guns and bad guys and risks every day. You were seventeen and wanted to see your dad. That's something Lupe never understood, that Ajedrez made her decisions and had to pay the consequences, she ripped my eyes out so I shot her before she could shoot me. You didn't want to risk yourself for anything and Wyman still took everything away from you. Lupe wanted revenge because she couldn't get over her daughter's choices, you should want revenge because Wyman never gave you any choices."

Charlie was silent. She'd been torturing and torturing herself over Lupe, she couldn't sleep, she was having flashbacks, she was in absolute turmoil and in a few sentences, Sands pointed out the complete differences that Charlie never saw.

"I still can't bring myself to let you kill him."

"Charlie..." Sands sighed.

"No." She shook her head. "I can't have his blood on my hands. Hasn't he ruined my life enough?"

"He's still out there, what if he's done it to other girls?"

"You don't think I've thought about that?"

"Have you?"

"Every day." She said. "Every time I think about what he did to me, and that is a lot, I think if he's done it to other girls. My only solace is that no one's ever even reported him. That has to mean something. Someone else would have come forward."

"Unless they were scared, like you were, that no one would believe them."

Charlie knew it was selfish to think, and she hated herself for thinking about it, but she wanted the focus to be on what happened to her, not what might have happened to someone else. That way, she didn't have to contemplate that her actions, or lack of action, might have ruined another girl's or several lives. Her life was ruined too.

"Sands, I can't act for anyone else. I have to do what's best for me, and right now, that's forgetting it."

"I doubt that."

"You can doubt all you want, it's true. I never wanted this to come back up; I never wanted anyone else to know." Even as she said it, she knew it wasn't completely true. There'd always been a little voice inside her that wanted Wyman caught, that wanted the world to know what he was. She wished his true colours could have been revealed without it coming back to her, without her life having to change because of it.

_What you really wish for is that this never happened, that you never had to wish for this secret to get out because there was no secret._

"I don't know what to do." She admitted. "I don't know what's right and I don't know what the best thing is for me. I don't know. You can try and get me to go to the police or you can try and get my permission to do what you want to do to him but I can't because I am scared. I am scared of what my life will become if it gets out what he did. I am scared that no one will believe me. I am scared that I'll try and tell the world and he'll still be found innocent and then he'll want revenge. I am just scared."

Sands looked at her as she confessed all this to the floor because she wasn't looking anywhere near him. "Charlie, I get that you can be scared of all those things but there is no need to be scared of that last one because he'll never be able to touch you. I won't let him. He can want revenge but he'll never get it. He tries to put the hurt on you and I will kill him, whether you tell me I can or not. You may not trust me anymore but you don't have to, I know I love you and I know I will protect you."

Charlie looked up, her eyes meeting his. "I know that too. I wish I could stop being scared but I can't."

Sands brought his arm to wrap around her shoulders and drew her close to him, kissing him forehead. "I know, sugar." Charlie rested her head on his shoulder and stayed there until she heard her name being called.

"Charlotte Macintosh?"

Charlie and Sands looked at the doctor who had just come into the waiting room. She got up quickly and walked over to him with Sands following to stand next to her, his hand on her back. "Yes?"

"Your father is in a stable condition. He's still unconscious but we pumped his stomach and he's responding well to treatment. We're remaining hopeful."

"But he's still unconscious?" She asked.

"That's only to be expected." The doctor said. "Hopefully he'll wake up in the next few hours."

Charlie shook her head. "But this was accidental, right? I mean, it had to be."

The doctor obviously found it hard to answer that. "Only time will tell. I'll be back soon to bring you to his room, excuse me."

The doctor walked off and Charlie sighed, walking back to her seat. Sands turned to her with a frown.

"You really think it was accidental?"

Charlie looked up at him. "What?"

"You think he didn't mean to overdose?"

"Of course. He…He wouldn't do this."

Sands sat down next to her. "I don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?" She frowned. "What don't you know?"

"Hey sugar, I wasn't there when you found him, I could be completely wrong but your dad…Sugar, he seemed like a guy who was at the end of his rope a lot of the time…" Sands didn't know if he was going too far but looking at her face made him feel like he was.

"No," She shook her head. "No, he wouldn't. There…There wasn't even a note or…Or…He was on the floor…"

"Like I said, I wasn't there."

Charlie looked like she was going to cry.

Sands inwardly cursed himself. "Look, I'm wrong. I usually am when it comes to your family."

"If he did this intentionally, he did it because of me, because I wouldn't even talk to him…"

"No, he did it because he has an addiction." Sands said. "This isn't your fault. Your dad was doing things like this long before you refused to talk to him."

"Yeah, he's been doing it for years. He's an expert on how to do it, he's never overdosed before."

"It only takes one time because there's a good chance if he did it once, he'd die."

Charlie put her head in her hands.

Sands sighed, realising he was saying all the wrong things. "Just stop listening to me."

"No, you're right." She said, bringing her head back up. "I knew it before you even said anything. This is all my fault."

"No, I didn't say that. This isn't your fault."

"You didn't need to. He hardly did it for any other reason."

Sands wished he could take her home. He just wanted to take her out of this sterile, beige room. "Even if he did it because you won't talk to him, that doesn't make it your fault. Your father made his choices and if he can't live with the consequences, that's his own problem."

"What am I going to do?" She asked. "When he wakes up?"

"What do you mean what are you going to do? There's nothing you can do."

"I know that but…I don't know how to act around him. I'm angry and guilty and…And I don't know."

Sands didn't know either. What was he supposed to say to make her feel better?

"Charlotte?"

Both looked up when the doctor came back.

"I just checked your father out and you can go see him now."

Charlie stood up. "Is he awake?"

"Not yet, I'm afraid. It might not be until tomorrow when he wakes up."

Charlie nodded. "Can I still see him?"

"Of course, just follow me. Just to warn you though, visiting hours are nearly over but like I said, he probably won't wake up until tomorrow."

Charlie turned to Sands.

"Want me to come with you?" He asked.

Charlie shook her head. "No, you shouldn't have to stay here and wait around, go home. I'll be fine."

"Look, the doc said that visiting hours are almost over, go in and see your dad and I'll be here when you come out."

"You don't have to-"

"Do you have a ride home?"

She didn't since she'd ridden in the ambulance with her dad. "I'll get a cab."

"I'll be here when you come out."

Charlie smiled at him and turned, following the doctor.

Sands sat back down, wondering what exactly was going to happen when she came back out. Was she going to go home, thank him for the ride and leave him there? Was she going to ask him up? Was this them getting back together or was she just looking for a shoulder to cry on? She had called him instead of the other guy, that had to mean something.

_Yeah, it means she could unload all her problems on someone who already knows them instead of having to tell a new squeeze all about her past and scaring him off._

Sands sat back in the chair, feeling quite bitter.

He was surprised when Charlie came back out.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just…Done."

"Already?"

Charlie shrugged. "He's still out. Not exactly much to do."

Sands stood up. "Ready to go?"

She nodded and walked over to him. "Thank you for staying. You didn't have to."

"I wasn't leaving you here alone, not a chance."

Charlie looked up at him, not knowing what to say. "I…Thank you."

Sands put a hand on her back and walked her out of the hospital and into parking garage. He opened the door for her before getting in himself.

"Do you just want to go straight home or do you want to go pick up your car?" He asked.

Charlie shook her head. "No."

Sands frowned. "No to which one?"

"Both."

"So where do you want to go?"

Charlie looked at him. "Your place?"

That surprised Sands but he supposed he understood, he even had Buster at his place. If she went home, she was completely alone. "My place it is."

* * *

"Hey boy. Long time, no see."

Sands found it weird to see Charlie going to greet the dog happily; it was usually him doing it. When she was done, she stood up and turned to him.

"Thanks for letting me camp out here for a while. The apartment's kinda lonely lately."

"I didn't want to take Buster back if you felt better with him around it."

"It's not that, it's just…Everything."

Sands nodded, remembering their conversation about her problems. "You must be starving."

Charlie smiled. "Are you offering to cook me something or should I not ask?"

"Offering." He said awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. He just remembered her saying she wasn't eating.

"Oh well then, how can I resist?"

Before too long Sands was in the kitchen and Charlie was sitting at the counter, watching him.

"You're good at this. Really good. I'm beginning to get mad again, I could have been eating nice food instead of takeout crap every night." She joked.

"Yeah, well…Looking good and tasting good are not the same thing." He replied. He turned away from the stove. "I just need to run upstairs for a second, be right back."

He left the kitchen and walked up the stairs that stood between the kitchen, the roof of which was also the floor of the upstairs, and the living room where Buster was still lying.

When he got up to the bedroom, he looked down from the balcony railing which made up the fourth wall to see Buster alone, Charlie was still in the kitchen. He turned and walked over to the nightstand and picked up something he definitely didn't want Charlie to see, walking over to the chest of drawers by the far wall and opening the top drawer, hiding his secret under his shirts and closing the drawer again.

Sands froze when he heard her footsteps come up the stairs and into his bedroom.

"Can you imagine all the time we've been together and I've never even seen your bedroom?"

Sands didn't turn to her. "That was deliberate."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I just like your place because it's yours."

"I've never even been on your bed."

Sands turned and saw her sitting on it. "What are you doing?"

"I can safely say I don't know." She looked at him. "All I know is I don't want to go home."

"Why not?"

"Because when I'm here, I can pretend that things are the way they were. When I'm at home, all I can think about is what happened."

"Charlie, do you want to get back together?"

She looked unsure, that was obvious. "I don't know."

Sands sighed. "I kind of need a yes or a no here."

"You want a yes? Ask me if I want to spend the night here with you."

Sands was silent for a second. "Will you regret it tomorrow morning if you spend the night here?"

"Probably."

"Then you shouldn't stay. I don't want you to regret being with me or you'll always remember it when I'm trying to get you back for good."

"I won't regret it because it's a mistake." She said. "I'll regret it because it'll make me want to stay with you and I might not be able to refuse."

"Why do you want to refuse?"

"Because I told you I'll choose you over my job and you can't do the same for me."

"I choose you over my job and we both get killed, you know that. You also know that if that wasn't the case, I would-"

"No, I don't know that." Charlie cut him off. "All you've ever said to me is how you want to keep your job."

"Don't do this, you know I love you more than anything and you know I love my job. Why are you making me choose one when in the real world, I don't have to?"

Charlie nodded. "This is why I can't trust you."

"Why?" He asked angrily. "Because I like my job? I like doing what I do? You like cutting people open and you get to do it. If I asked you to stop, would you?"

"I told you I'd turn down working in one of the best hospitals in the country to be with you."

"Yeah but you didn't say you'd stop being a surgeon. I can't help it that only one place offers the job I want to do and that you don't like that place."

"I don't like it? Just me?"

"Yeah, so I'm not a fan of the place either but I can't do the work I do there anywhere else. I can't quit. What do you want me to do; where else do you want me to work? My skillset isn't really worth much in any other job."

"I'm not asking you to quit your job, I've never asked you to quit your job but if your job is going to end up being designed to hurt me because I love you then that's why I need to stay away."

"Well, you know where the door is."

Charlie looked up at him before nodding and getting up, walking down the stairs. She didn't think this day could have gotten any worse but as usual, she'd found a way to make it happen. She was good at that, if not at anything else lately.

Sands huffed, realising what he just said. He had stop letting his anger get the better of him. He wondered if he should go after her but what would he say? There was nothing more there but arguments, him telling her he loved her and her arguing that he didn't love her as much as his job.

They were stuck in that argument and Sands didn't know how to get out of it.

* * *

Charlie was lying on her bed, trying not to cry and failing. She had completely messed everything up. When she heard her phone ringing, she sat up quickly and tried to dry her tears and stop crying so her voice would sound normal. She picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Charlotte, sweetie, I have wonderful news!"

If it had been any other day, Charlie might have been able to tolerate one of these phone calls from her mother but today, she found herself getting extremely angry at her mother's obliviousness and how happy she sounded, without a care in the world. "Do you? Well that's good for you but I don't care. Is it so impossible for you to pick up a phone to ask how I'm doing? To find out if I have good news or bad news? No, never so stop calling me to tell me how great your life is all the time because some of us have our own shit to deal with and it isn't always wonderful news or- or happy little lives, okay?"

Charlie hung up her phone and threw it away from her before the tears started falling again. She hid her face in her pillow, hoping she never had to come back up.

* * *

"Macintosh, what are you doing here? Harper said you were on leave for a while."

"Well now I'm back."

Crowley followed after her as she walked through the halls. "Macintosh, he told me."

"Well, it wasn't his business to."

"He had to, it wasn't his choice. Look, if you can't operate…"

"I can do paperwork until I can. I can diagnose until I can. You hired me for a reason and that is because by the age of 23, I was both a surgeon and a physician mainly because no one wanted someone so young to operate on them so I had to do something with my time. People seem to forget that I actually have a brain around here and a brilliant one so please stop treating me like the sad little woman and let me do my job."

"I heard about your father…"

"I don't talk to my father, haven't in years. You know that too so don't pity me because he made a stupid decision."

"He meant to…?"

"My father is not a CIA topic so let's desist that conversation right now."

Crowley took her arm to stop her from walking. "PTSD is serious."

"It is serious. I know that, I'm a doctor."

"You can't operate."

"I've heard that before and I've beaten it before."

Crowley sighed. "You want to stay and work? Fine. You're restricted to being a physician only until Harper clears you."

"Harper is not my boss."

"No, but I am and what I say goes."

Charlie huffed. "Fine."

She walked away and turned the corner out of sight. Crowley looked after her but got a surprise when he felt someone race past him.

"Excuse me, sir." Sands said, flying past to turn the corner too.

Charlie frowned when she heard someone hurry up behind her and saw Sands.

"What are you doing?"

Sands strode up to her quickly. "Don't ever say I put my job before you." He said before crashing his lips against hers, pinning her against a wall with his hands clasped onto her waist. Charlie was shocked to say the least but no matter how much her brain told her to shove him away; she could feel her lips responding.

"Sands! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sands' lips left hers and so did his hands and Charlie realised it was Crowley's voice they heard and the man was now awaiting an explanation. Charlie tried to think of one but getting caught during the act had made her just as speechless as the act itself.

"What do you mean?" Sands shrugged, feigning ignorance over Crowley's annoyance.

"I mean, inter-office affairs are not permitted and even if they were, the results would not be allowed during office hours!" The man looked between the two. "So why is it that you have your hands all over Doctor Macintosh?"

Sands still seemed to be pretty casual, even a little confused over Crowley's anger. "Because I was told to."

"You were told to?" Crowley repeated, not understanding and Charlie could see why. She didn't understand either. "Who told you two to even be near each other?"

"That was my brief." Sands explained. "I was supposed to seduce Doctor Macintosh and then deliver her to her father in an attempt to get inside knowledge on a particular mission. Doctor Macintosh was told we would be working together but of course, she wasn't told the full story which is why she's probably looking shocked right now. I'm just doing my job. If they want me to be with her at work, I'm going to be. It seems to be only our private lives this agency has the problem with which seems a little backwards to me but hey, I don't make the rules." He smirked.

Crowley shook his head, not amused. "Who gave you these orders?"

"Hartford but I'm guessing he got his orders from up top."

"I am sick to death of these games…" Crowley muttered before looking at the two again. "Agent Sands, even if you did get these orders, I know you're not dull enough to think this kind of behaviour is what they meant." Charlie looked at Sands and could practically see him mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to come his way. "And Doctor Macintosh, you are just that, a doctor. You should never have gone along with this without first consulting me. But," Crowley went on. "These rules are put in place to help agents do their jobs, not to mess with them and gain upper hands. Which mission are you on?"

"The Sharma case, sir."

Crowley nodded. "I'm terminating your position on that case, effective immediately. If it involves a relative of Doctor Macintosh's, you should have never been assigned to it in the first place." He looked at Charlie. "Although I cannot terminate the mission completely, even if your father is involved, though obviously not for the foreseeable future. When he gets better, he could still be involved. It's just that you won't be."

"That's fine by me." Charlie said. "I don't make his decisions or his contacts."

Crowley sighed. "You two should not have been put in this situation and there shall be repercussions for whoever designed all this." Crowley walked past them but turned back. "Oh, and Agent Sands?"

"Yes?"

"You're suspended without pay for a month. You could have just come to me with this problem instead of absconding Doctor Macintosh in the halls in some grand gesture that could have caused more trouble than it was worth."

Crowley walked away and Charlie looked at Sands who was still going over the word 'suspension'. She didn't know if he was shocked at that or relieved that Crowley hadn't said fired.

"Why did you do that?"

Sands looked up at Charlie before shrugging. "Now we're both out of the woods. You aren't involved in any games and I don't have to work with Wyman."

"How did you know Crowley didn't know what was going on?"

"I didn't. I just figured if he saw us getting too close, he'd put an end to anything that kept us together." Sands explained. "Now, I gotta go clear out my desk." He walked off and left Charlie to consider what the hell had just happened.

She frowned when she heard shouting coming from the direction Sands and Crowley had just walked in. She followed in their direction and saw the two men standing at the balcony rails and looking down at the floor where the agents' cubicles were. She walked over to stand next to Sands and realised what the commotion was about if the raised voices and Melissa running past them, crying was anything to go by.

Charlie looked to the side to see both Sands and Crowley looking at her.

"What?"

"Go after her." Crowley said.

"Why do I have to go after her?"

"Because you're the only one here allowed in the ladies' room?" Sands shrugged.

Charlie rolled her eyes and followed Melissa. She walked into the bathroom and saw one of the stalls locked and heard sniffling coming from inside.

"Melissa?"

"Please just go away."

"It's just me." Charlie said. "And I already knew so I'm not going to judge you. I just want to make sure you're alright."

"How can I be? You heard them all, acting as if I'm poison." She cried. "God, I am so stupid."

"No, you're not." Charlie said. "This happens to lots of people."

"I'm not talking about the baby; I'm talking about those idiots." She sniffed. "I know everyone here thinks I'm the company slut and just get used for a good time but no one ever considers that maybe I was the one doing the using."

She was right; Charlie never had considered it that way.

"You know how much of your life working here can take up." Melissa went on. "Your entire life revolves around the CIA, all day, every day. And it's not like you're allowed build substantial relationships with anyone, build up a real connection. How do they expect people to act? You either have people like me who just decide to have fun with it or they have people like you who end up breaking the rules because the rules are impossible to follow. I knew that. I knew the rules couldn't be followed but I just figured if I wasn't too attached to any one guy, no one would care. You know, guys are allowed play the field and get as many notches on their bedposts as they want and they're seen as heroes but women try enjoy themselves and not get tied down and they're tramps. How is that fair? So I slept with a few different guys, all those guys have been trying to get in your pants and no one bats an eyelid."

"I do." Charlie replied though she could see Melissa's point. At the end of the day, Melissa was just like Thompson or Trevor or even how Sands used to be but no one was going around calling any of those guys whores. No one was criticising their choices. Charlie didn't like double standards but she had to admit, she'd fallen prey to that one herself. Melissa could have been the one doing the seducing instead of being the easily seduced one.

"And now," Melissa cried. "No one wants to even admit they went near me. People are killing each other trying to pin this baby on someone else."

"They're idiots." Charlie shrugged. "We always knew that."

"You're so lucky you got out of all this when you did. I know you may not think it, Charlie, but you are better off away from Sands and all this chaos. It's just too hard. Leave it behind you and move on, hopefully to someone who has no connection to this place whatsoever. Find someone who cares about who you are, not where you work because none of those fuckers out there give a shit about you, just how convenient you are."

Charlie bit her lip. She didn't feel very lucky.

"I know you love him."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Sands." Melissa opened the cubicle door and looked at Charlie. "I know you love him. And I know he loves you too."

"It doesn't matter." Charlie shrugged. "We're not allowed be together."

Melissa nodded. "You know I was up for Armisen's job?"

Charlie was surprised and it probably showed. "Really?"

"It's true. I mean, who knows the ins and outs of this place better than me? It's my job to know everything, just like it was his. I know you may not think my job is very important or that I'm just a secretary but I know a lot more than you think I do."

"I never thought that."

"Whatever. The point is, I was up for the job. I'm not anymore."

"Because of your pregnancy?"

"They're not allowed say that officially but I just know I won't get the job. That's what I'm saying to you, Charlie. I know you love him but you can choose a life mourning over what you can't have or you can leave him behind and achieve better things with your work."

Charlie didn't want to say it but she didn't feel like she needed advice from Melissa. Maybe it was because she didn't like what she was hearing or she didn't agree or maybe it was because Melissa had messed up so badly, Charlie felt indignant that Melissa was trying to tell her what the best thing to do was. Though she didn't want to say it, she couldn't hide it on her face.

Melissa shook her head. "Fine, don't listen to me. What do I know, I'm just the secretary."

"I never said you were just a secretary."

"But you think it, you've always thought you were better than me and oh look, you were right."

"Look, I just thought I could help but if you want me to go and if you want another doctor to deal with your pregnancy…"

"No, I want you as my doctor, no one else. Just you."

"Why?" She frowned.

"Because you gave Sands back his sight after he fucked you over royally so I know you still give the best care to people, even if you hate them." Melissa shrugged.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because I slept with your boyfriend."

Charlie was confused. "What?"

"Sands, I slept with him."

"But that was before Sands and I even met."

"No, I meant after you two met. After Mexico when you went back to Malibu. I slept with him then even though I knew you two were together."

"We weren't together then."

"Oh, who are you kidding? The guy was in love with you. Anyone with a proper brain could have seen it."

"If you knew that, why did you sleep with him?"

"Because I wanted him to know how it felt to be rejected by someone he cared about."

"Wait, you slept with him to sabotage us?"

"I knew that he'd done something to hurt you before you two got back and I knew that he wanted you back with him, especially after you left. He was obsessed with finding you for a while. Then he just started not caring about anything, like he gave up and I knew that I could use that. He'd fucked me over and he'd fucked you over and a lot of other women and I knew the CIA wasn't able to find your replacement so were thinking of asking you to come back..."

"And you thought if you slept with him, I wouldn't want him anymore?"

"I knew he'd try anything to get you back but the damage would be done. It was time to get his heart broken for a change but you were just collateral damage. I knew you'd be fine. He'd suffer more. Then you found out and you've never liked me anyway so I assumed you'd hate me for that but you do good work on people you hate."

"I don't hate you, I don't not like you."

"Oh, who the fuck are you kidding? All the times I've tried to be nice to you and be your friend, you're not interested in having friends."

Charlie didn't realise Melissa had ever tried to be her friend. She thought she'd be too boring for Melissa. "You wanted to be my friend?"

"Yeah. We women are in a huge minority here and we definitely need to stick together against those assholes."

"Oh...I never thought you'd want to be my friend. I don't have friends."

"You have to stop acting like you think you're better than all of us and you might."

"I don't think..."

"I didn't say you thought, I said you act like you thought it. You're a little socially clueless."

"Little being an understatement." Charlie said. "I'm sorry if I ever made you think I don't like you. I just don't know how to act around people."

"Well, you did something right. You're the only woman in this place or ever, I would think, that got Sands to give a fuck."

"I don't think that's any indication to my talents with people."

"Not normal people anyway." Melissa smiled. "But he does still love you, even after all these months."

To Melissa, Charlie and Sands hadn't even been near each other in a year so Charlie wanted to point out that telling her this would actually pretty hurtful if Charlie hadn't known it and used it to her advantage already. If she'd followed the rules and stayed away from Sands for all this time, hearing that he still loved her would just be a painful reminder. As the circumstances stood, it was still painful to hear but for completely different reasons. "How do you know that?"

"Are you kidding?" Melissa asked. "There is not a day that goes by where he doesn't look up at your office constantly or when you are around, just looks at you. Not to mention that he doesn't even take notice of any women around here anymore."

"He doesn't always stare at me." Charlie said, knowing he wouldn't, just to stay safe.

"Oh, he does." Melissa nodded. "It might not be obvious to all those meatheads out there but women know that look. They all want it aimed at them. Not from Sands, just in general. Actually, Gina Waitrose probably wants it from Sands. And Carr. I don't but I did. God, he really was a manipulative asshole…"

"Melissa?" Charlie frowned, seeing the woman get lost in her own thoughts.

"Sorry. What I'm trying to say is that even if Waitrose is offering herself up on a plate constantly, he doesn't care anymore. That's because of you."

"Waitrose still comes onto him?" She tried to sound casual but had a feeling she was failing spectacularly.

"Oh yeah, she even told him about that rumour going around about you and Thompson to try and turn him off you but I don't think it worked at all."

Charlie was shocked to hear that. "Wait, Waitrose told him that?"

"Yeah, she can be so petty sometimes. I don't think he believed her though so you know, don't worry about it. He just seemed to let it roll off his shoulders."

Oh, he definitely hadn't but once again, Charlie couldn't say that. But when Sands had been angry at her over it, he'd told her that he'd overheard some guys talking about it. He never mentioned Waitrose.

_I'll kill her._

_And him._

Charlie wanted to go find him right now and mangle him for lying to her and for getting angry at her over something Waitrose said but she had something else she needed to do first.

* * *

"Remember when you said I was owed a favor for doing the DNA tests? I want to cash in on that."

Crowley was surprised when Charlie came into his office later that day. "Oh really? Does it have to do with Sands?"

"Yes."

"Is it asking to be with him?"

"No, I'm not that stupid."

"Good, because I can't allow that."

"I know." Charlie said. "It does have to do with him though. I just don't want him to know it came from me."

Crowley was intrigued. "Go on."

"Give him back his office."

"Macintosh…"

"I'm not asking because I think he should get special treatment or anything, it's just…I get so much shit from those guys whenever I see them, he has to be down there around them all day. How is he supposed to do his job when they're constantly goading him? I find it hard to do mine and I only see them every so often. Look, we broke the rules but so have half the guys down there and you know it. We're paying the price for it but I do think we should get some help. I mean, if I actually came to you with complaints, you'd be legally obligated to sanction and suspend half your staff but I don't. I put up with it. And I mean, come on. You saw them down there, acting like absolute morons. They get away with so much shit but just because Sands actually cared about me, he gets more shit than any of those idiots. Giving Sands back his office isn't going to clean everything up, he's still going to get shit from the other agents but at least he won't be getting it all the freaking time. He's done good work since he came back and that deserves to be rewarded. You rewarded him before because he did good work and really, in terms of his job, what's changed?"

Crowley looked at her. "I'll evaluate your request and get back to you."

Charlie sighed, she had no idea if that was good or not. She supposed if it was good, he would have just said it. "Okay, thanks." She got up and left the office.

Crowley looked after her.

"Hope I'm not gone before that comes out."

* * *

Charlie was on her laptop at the counter that night when she heard a knock on her door.

_Sands? It has to be. No one else knocks on the door._

_What does he want though?_

_Maybe since he got suspended, he thinks we can be together without the CIA being involved._

_Well, that won't matter. I'm still pissed at him for Waitrose. Not that he knows that but still…_

Charlie got up and went to her door, preparing herself to not get weak around Sands. She got a shock by who was on the other side.

"Mom?"

Gwen had a little smile on her face. "Are you surprised?"

"Uh…" Charlie was looking at the bags her mother had next to her. "Yes. Yes I am. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was off living my happy little life when I was given a severe tongue-lashing by my daughter on the phone."

"Oh…" Charlie sighed. "I'm fine; I was just having a bad day…"

"You're not fine. I could hear it then and I can see it now. You look terrible."

"Thanks."

Gwen huffed. "Charlotte, I'm not criticising, I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, really."

"Well then, you should have no problem letting me in and telling me all about how fine you are."

"Mom…"

"I came all the way out here and I'm not leaving until I'm sure you don't need me. Now, do I have to spend my visit staying in your hallway or can I see your apartment?"

Charlie realised she was losing an already won battle and stepped aside to let her mother in. Gwen took the handle of her suitcase and rolled it inside.

"Well, isn't this cosy?"

Charlie closed the door and turned into her apartment. "It suits me fine."

Gwen looked at her daughter. "How are you, darling?"

"I'm…" Charlie tried nodding to signal she was okay because finding the words was a little difficult lately.

"Oh, come here."

Gwen walked over and took her daughter into her arms and Charlie let her. She was too weak to keep lying about how she was. She wasn't fine. She was terrible and it was plain to see.

"What happened?" Gwen asked.

Charlie separated from her mother but couldn't look at her. "There's something I haven't told you, something about my life."

"That you've been seeing him? That man, you've been seeing him again?"

Charlie looked up at her mother. "How did you…?"

"Honey, a mother always knows. You couldn't resist him in Malibu; I didn't think you'd be able to resist him here."

Charlie looked at her suspiciously. "You saw that picture of us together at dad's function, didn't you?"

Gwen sighed, letting her shoulders droop. "Oh Charlotte, I live halfway across the country, I can't know everything."

Charlie nodded. "We were together, no one knew. But it's over."

"Who ended it?"

"I did."

"Well, I can't say I'm not happy to hear that but are you happy?"

Charlie shook her head. "No. Mom, I love him so much. I don't know what to do."

"Why did you break up with him?" Gwen asked.

Charlie decided to go for the short answer. "Because I can't trust him."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No, no it's nothing like that." Charlie said. "It's just…Very complicated."

Gwen nodded. "I should have brought a maid. I remember when you were younger and you wanted to talk but couldn't bring yourself to share your feelings, which was all the time, I'd make you sit down until you did and I usually bribed you with hot chocolate or a brownie, some sort of chocolate. I just don't know how to make it. Daisy used to make the hot chocolate you liked the best. Maybe I could call her…She might enjoy Virginia…"

"Mom," Charlie frowned. "You don't need to send for a maid that's across the country. I don't think bribing me with chocolate will work anymore."

"But you're not sure?"

"Mom."

"I know." Gwen sighed. "Why can't you be a kid again? For so many reasons."

"Look, I'm sorry," Charlie folder her arms insecurely. "I find talking about my emotions hard."

Gwen stroked her arm. "I know you do, honey. Are you still going through that phase where you find it impossible to say I love you to anyone?"

"No, but he is."

"Maybe you two are perfect for each other."

Charlie really didn't need to hear that. She saw Gwen frown at something behind her. "What?"

"You have a bed in the middle of your living room."

Charlie looked back. "That's not the living room." She walked up and pulled the sheer white curtain the separated the kitchen and living space and the step up that brought her to the back end of the apartment. "The curtain divides them so back there is the bedroom. Sort of."

"Sort of? You only have sort of a bedroom?"

"Well, the bedroom was over there." She pointed to the closet door. "I changed things around though. That's my closet now."

Gwen had to smile. "I taught you well. Still though, where am I supposed to sleep?"

"I…I didn't know you were coming."

Gwen sighed. "Well, it's too late to book into a hotel so I guess I'm staying here for tonight anyway. I'm going to take a shower after all that travelling and when I come out, we can have a nice long talk. Tell me everything that's happened with you lately, alright? Leave nothing out." She grasped her chin softly. "Oh sweetie, I'm so happy I'm here with you." She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, leaving Charlie alone.

_I am going to have to make up a lot of bullshit._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

"_Grandpa!"_

"_Hello, dollface."_

_Charlotte smiled as her grandfather picked her up, hugging her against him. He had always been quite strong and even as he got older, he never lost that strength. _

"_Hello, Reg."_

_He pulled away from his eight year old granddaughter but still kept her in his arms as he looked at her mother who was walking out of the house. "Gwen."_

"_I want her back by six."_

"_But mom," Charlotte moaned. "I thought I was staying in Grandpa's house tonight, by the beach."_

"_Not on your birthday, Charlotte. I'd like to see you too, you know."_

_Charlotte pouted until her grandfather shook her a little. _

"_Come on Charlie-"_

"_Charlotte." Gwen corrected. "Her name is Charlotte."_

_Reg sighed but didn't press the issue. "Come on dollface, you know I got something special planned for your big day and yes, we'll be done by six." He said to Gwen. _

_Charlotte smiled. "Okay." Reg let her down but kept her hand in his. "Bye, mom!"_

"_Bye sweetie, have fun."_

* * *

"_Tell me that is not the best burger you've ever tasted in your life."_

_Charlie smiled. Her grandfather had all the money in the world but whenever he took her out, he did normal things with her like take her to the park or the zoo or a baseball game. No one would ever guess he was the man he was or had the money he had. Charlie knew her grandfather had worked for his money, he hadn't been born into it like her father or she was, and that he just hadn't let money change him. She also guessed that he brought her to do things that her mother would never let her do. Today, as it was her birthday, he'd gone a step further and taken her to Disneyland and Charlie had to admit, she loved it. Her grandfather was happy to see that as he felt Gwen rarely left Charlie to be a kid._

"_I live with my mom." Charlie replied. "Every hamburger is the best. She never lets me have any."_

"_Well, in moderation is a good thing." Reg never badmouthed Gwen in front of Charlie and never let her do it either, after all she was still Charlie's mother. "I'm sure your mom is just taking care of you."_

_The topic made Charlie wonder something. "Have you seen my dad recently?"_

_This was the part Reg always dreaded. "You know your dad's going through a rough time at the moment, Charlie."_

_She nodded. "I know. I just thought…He'd like to see me today…"_

_Reg's heart broke looking down to see her so dejected. He considered how Steven had been doing lately, quite well, he'd been off any kind of drug for over a month and his drinking was under control; maybe a visit from his daughter would do him some good. It would definitely do her some good. After all, when Steven had decided to sober up, one of his main reasons was because he wanted to try and make a relationship with his daughter who, frankly, was a bit of a stranger. Maybe seeing her, and properly meeting her and spending time with her, would encourage him that being healthy and sober would definitely be worth it._

"_Hey, dollface, wanna go for a ride?"_

_Charlotte frowned. "Where?"_

"_It's a surprise."_

"_Okay." She said excitedly, no doubt thinking another birthday surprise was on its way. _

_Hopefully, it would be the best one she'd ever got._

* * *

_Charlie looked around at the foyer of the large house her grandfather had brought her to. It was quite beautiful but the place seemed empty._

"_You wait out here, okay? I'll be back soon."_

_Charlie looked at her grandfather and nodded. "Okay."_

_Reg smiled and walked away, making his way to his son's office. He walked inside to see his son slumped at his desk. "Are you kidding me?"_

"_What? It's vodka, not crystal meth, calm down." Steven groaned._

"_No, I won't calm down! You have responsibilities, Steven! One of them is standing outside right now, waiting to see you!"_

"_What?" He frowned._

"_I brought her here. I thought it'd do you good to see her since you said you wanted to but obviously, you don't care about anyone but yourself."_

"_Why the fuck would you bring her here? It's my decision when I want to see her."_

"_When? You never see her! Tell me Steven, what day is it today?"_

_Steven huffed. "Thursday."_

"_It's Saturday but try again. What date, what important date is it today?"_

"_I don't know, what?"_

"_It's your daughter's birthday! Your daughter's eighth birthday! I know you've never cared to see her on a birthday before but I really thought, I really thought this time was different. I'm worse for believing it."_

"_Don't blame me because you made a mistake. You shouldn't have brought her here. I don't want to see her now."_

_Reg looked at him, disgusted. "She's your daughter."_

"_No! She's a trap! A way for Gwen to weed money out of me! That's the only reason I have a fucking daughter! How the hell do you expect me to want something that was born just to screw me over? And not only that, looks like the bitch who tried to ruin my life? Explain that one to me, dad! How am I supposed to love her because I don't have a clue how! I never wanted her; Gwen stopped taking her pill and tricked me to get my money. That's all that kid is, some tax for my bad decisions. So stop bringing her here! I don't want her!"_

_"Is that true?"_

_Both men turned to see Charlie standing at the door._

_Reg felt dread fill him up. "Charlie..."_

_"Is it true?" She asked her father, not looking at her grandfather. There were tears in her eyes. "You hate me? You never wanted me?"_

_"No, that's not what..." Reg began but Steven cut him off._

_"Stop even trying, dad. She heard everything, the girl's a genius, she can figure it out." He turned to her. "The world's a tough place, kid. Doesn't matter how smart you are, you won't go far unless you learn that lesson. But hey, it's not all bad. Just pout a little and mommy will screw her way to getting you a pony. You don't even need me when she's so resourceful. As long as she's lying down." Steven took another drink as Charlie turned and ran out of the mansion._

_Reg looked at him son in disgust before leaving the office to go after his granddaughter._

* * *

_Reg stopped the car outside Gwen's new house._

_"Charlie..."_

_"My name is Charlotte." She replied shortly. It was the first thing she had said since Steven's house._

_Reg nodded. "Charlotte, what your father said today, he didn't mean."_

"_Yes, he did. I've only met him a few times. If my father wanted me, wouldn't he try and see me more than that?"_

"_Your father is very sick."_

"_No, he's not. He's selfish."_

"_That too."_

"_It's strange," Charlotte said, her face blank. "Why is it that all I want is for him to love me the way I love him and he doesn't care? Why doesn't he care that I love him, grandpa?"_

_Reg sighed, not knowing how to answer. "Charlie, you're a very smart girl but sometimes, there aren't answers to those kinds of questions. It won't be easier knowing that but I hope you know, I love you very much."_

_Charlotte was still for a second before nodding and getting out of the car._

_Gwen came out of the house, a relaxed smile on her face. "How was your day, sweetie?"_

_At seeing her mother, Charlotte's pain mixed with anger again. "Is it true? Did you only have me to take his money?"_

_Gwen looked at Reg as he followed his granddaughter. "What did you do?"_

_"He didn't tell me, dad did." Charlotte replied._

_"You took her to him?" Gwen glared._

"_He hates me as much as he hates you." Charlotte said. "That's your fault. He doesn't want me because of you, because I look like you and because of what you did."_

_She ran into the house to get away from her mother._

_"What were you thinking?" Gwen asked Reg angrily. _

_"I wanted her to get to know him."_

_"For what? He's useless!"_

_"Fine, I wanted him to get to know her."_

_"Eight years of trying to hide from her the fact that her father doesn't care, eight years of trying to make her feel like she didn't need him and then in one day, you ruin everything!"_

_"He's her father."_

_"And I'm her mother. I make the decisions, not you! I should have put a stop to you and her having contact a long time ago."_

_"Try it. Reg threatened. "Just try and you'll see why no one goes up against me. I click my fingers and I could have custody of her."_

_Charlotte closed her eyes from behind the door she was standing, listening to her mother and grandfather fight. Why did no one like each other? Her grandfather didn't like her mother who didn't like her grandfather or her father who didn't her mother or her grandfather. _

_Or his daughter. _

_She was eight years old and very smart but she couldn't understand any of it. A part of her hoped she never would because that meant she'd be bitter too. _

Charlie closed her eyes, remembering that hope. As she looked over at her bed from where she lay on the couch and saw her mother sleeping, she remained conflicted by that thought and the thought that she'd wanted her grandfather to take her far, far away. Growing up, her mother was certainly better than her father but even at that, both were more about themselves than their children. She was thinking about that eighth birthday a lot lately, since her father had gone into the coma he had yet to wake up from and then more since her mother arrived.

Charlie's eyes were drawn to the table when she saw her phone light up. She picked it up and walked out onto her balcony so she wouldn't wake her mom.

"Hello?"

"Were you asleep?"

She sat down on one of the lounge chairs. "No."

"Because you can't?" Sands asked.

Charlie decided to be honest, he knew everything anyway. "I'm too scared to sleep."

"You were the one who told me that I shouldn't let nightmares bother me, why doesn't that rule apply to you?"

"I said you shouldn't let that nightmare bother you because what happened then wasn't bad. What I'm remembering was very bad."

"Want me to come over?"

Charlie looked back inside where her mother was asleep in her bed. "No. My mother is here."

"What? Why?" Sands frowned.

"She called me a few days ago, the same day my dad went into the hospital and I was upset. I yelled at her, she knew something was up and came out to see me."

"Did you talk to her?"

"You mean did I tell her anything about Wyman? No." Charlie replied. "And I'm not going to."

"I don't think you should."

That made her frown. "You don't? I thought you wanted me to tell-"

"Not her. I might want you to report Wyman but I respect that you don't want to. I think your mom wouldn't be able to stop herself letting out your secret."

Charlie nodded. "You're right. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's going to be hard to hide from her what's wrong with me when she's constantly around."

"There's nothing wrong with you."

Charlie smiled a little before remembering being in his bedroom.

"Charlie?" He asked when she didn't speak.

"Why are you calling me?" She asked. "Why now? We haven't spoken in days."

Sands sighed. "I was angry when I said you should leave. I didn't mean it."

"You seemed to."

"I am just sick of having to defend myself for the same things over and over." He admitted. "I can't help it."

"Well, I say the same things over and over again because they're the reason we're not together anymore. You ask why, I tell you and you get angry."

"You get angry too."

"I wasn't then."

"No but you were emotional. You said you wanted me to sleep with you just so you could regret it the next morning."

"I didn't say I wanted to do it so I could regret it, I wanted to do it because you're the only person in the world who can make me feel better."

"Then you should be with me."

"You can also make me feel worse than anyone else." That wasn't technically true; Wyman and her father were still in the running.

"That's probably the worst thing I've ever heard about myself considering the guys in your past."

"Well, the reason you can hurt me more than them is because I care about you a whole lot more."

"You know where I am."

Charlie sighed, feeling her strength wain. "How's Buster?"

"He's good. He's sleeping so you know, that makes one of us."

"You're not still having that dream, are you?"

"Uh no, not really. Not since I talked to you about it. I'm thinking a lot about a few hours later that day though."

Charlie bit her lip with a small smile. "I think I know what you're talking about."

"You definitely know."

She could hear the smirk in his voice. "This conversation is not turning into one of those conversations."

"But we're so good at them. If we're not going to have actual sex, I would like to think that phone sex is still an option."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I've turned you into such a sex maniac, you need to get it from somewhere? Hopefully?"

Charlie chuckled. "Nice try."

"No, a nice try would have succeeded."

"Well, if you're going to give up that easily…Wait no, stop." She said, realising what he was doing. "We're not doing it. Damn, I don't like it that you can even seduce me over the phone."

"Once again, I can't seduce you over the phone because if I could, we'd be having phone sex right now."

Charlie shook her head. "This is stranger than the time we talked dirty in Italian."

"Oh yeah, how did that even happen?"

"We realised we both knew Italian and it went from there."

"Wow…It really doesn't take a lot for us to start having sex, does it?"

"Nope. That's probably why it didn't work out so well. If we just have sex instead of talking about important things, it was never going to work."

"So that's a definite no?"

"Yes, it is. Anyway, my mother is right inside."

"Wait; are you on your balcony again? Sugar, it's freezing."

"I'm okay. I like the cold."

"Hmmm, that doesn't make it okay."

"You don't have to be worried about me, I'm a big girl."

"Come on sugar, we both know that doesn't matter to me, I'm still going to worry about you."

Charlie sighed. She missed him but it wouldn't be fair to say it. "So, what are you going to do with your time off?"

"Oh there's so much to do during suspension…"

"I can't believe you did that."

"Yeah well, I needed to get off that case or at least get you away from it, explain away that picture of us together in the paper and make it up to you after what I said the night your dad went into hospital. Speaking of, is he awake yet?"

"No, still in the coma."

"But they think he'll wake up?"

"No one's sure. Only time will tell."

"How did that happen? The doctor said he'd be fine."

"He…Took a turn for the worse."

"I'm sure he'll be fine."

"That makes one of us."

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to be mad?"

Charlie frowned. "Depends on the question."

"I'm not trying to be a smartass, I'm genuinely wondering."

"Shoot."

"Dangerous choice of words where I'm involved."

Charlie smirked. "Ask the question."

"Why are you so worried about your dad now when you haven't even wanted contact with him since you were seventeen?"

Charlie did get mad at that question but before she spoke, she thought about it and realised it was a valid question. "Do you think you're up for the night?"

"Yup."

"You know that park ten minutes away from my apartment? Want to meet me there in half an hour?"

"I'll be there in fifteen."

* * *

"Here."

Charlie frowned as he sat down on the bench next to her and handed her a hot paper coffee cup with a lid on it. "I don't like coffee."

"Yeah sugar, over a year of knowing you, I know that. It's tea. It's cold out here." He obviously thought so since he was wearing a black coat and a scarf. "So, you going to answer my question?"

Charlie sighed. "I'm trying to think of an answer that doesn't make me seem fake but also doesn't make me feel like a massive bitch."

"Come up with anything?"

"That he's my dad?" She shrugged. "That's it."

"Despite everything that he's done to you, do you still want him in your life?"

Charlie looked at him. "Do you know what it's like to be a child and grow up wondering why your dad doesn't want you?"

Sands stayed silent.

"Do you know what it's like to be eight years old and have him get drunk and tell you?"

He frowned. "What?"

"To tell you that he doesn't want to look at you because you look like your mom and he hates her so much? That you were only born to weed money out of him and he doesn't want to give your mom the satisfaction of her plan working so he doesn't bother with you? That he never wanted you and you were some trap that he resents? I do. I've lived with that feeling for quite a while now. I've lived with it since my eighth birthday and still, all I wanted was for him to be in my life." She said. "I just thought if he could get to know me, know that I wasn't like my mom, that I wasn't interested in his money, that he might want me. But he didn't."

"Why have you never told me this?" Sands asked.

Charlie shrugged. "I don't know. I can say it's because I didn't want you to see me that way but I know that if you haven't looked at me differently after finding out what Wyman did to me then you're hardly going to look at me differently when you hear that my dad didn't want me."

"Did your mom actually do that or was your dad just looking for excuses?"

"What? Get pregnant for money? She says no, he says yes. Rachel's dad's a mechanic so who knows? That was her first marriage though and I think it was before she started living the high life, when she was just some high school dropout from a trailer park in Iowa who got pregnant at eighteen and had some quickie wedding and a marriage that lasted two years."

"Your mom got pregnant at eighteen?"

"With Rachel. Go on, judge her. I know you love the opportunity."

"Hey sugar, I can't judge. My mom got pregnant at fifteen with my older brother. I came along two months after her twentieth birthday and before you wonder, yes we have the same father and yes, they're still married to this day."

"I can't believe you're giving so much away about your family." Charlie looked at him.

"I just guess that if I want you to trust me not to see you differently, I have to expect the same thing."

Charlie realised what he was doing. She didn't seem him differently, in fact it was endearing that he was willing to admit these things and if that was the case for her, it was the same for him. She took a sip from the cup through the lid. "Why do you let me do this?"

Sands frowned. "Do what?"

"Meet up with you, go to your apartment, call you for help, pour all my burdens on you and then tell you we're not getting back together? Why don't you just tell me to go fuck myself?"

"Look Mac, I didn't come here tonight expecting you to tell me we were getting back together and that is true. I called you, remember? I just like talking to you, hearing your voice. I like spending time in your company and even though there are times when I want you to say you want to get back together, which is most times, the more I hear about how your dad treated you, the more I realise you want to fucking hate me for bringing him back into your life, not to mention Wyman."

Charlie shook her head. "I've never said I hated you. I've tried to make it clear that I don't."

"No, you said you can't. You want to."

"I was angry. And upset. And betrayed. I don't want to hate you now. I just…I'm not coping with what happened and I don't feel strong enough to forgive you completely."

"Or trust me."

Charlie sighed. "Or trust you."

"Well, you didn't trust me before and I earned it. Hopefully, I can do it again."

Charlie had to smile slightly at that. She wished it could be so easy as to just forgive him and continue on their relationship but every time she considered it, she wondered when he'd hurt her again. He'd done it plenty of times before. Anyway, she was a mess and she couldn't handle acting happy with Sands when she wasn't happy at all. She didn't know if being with him would fix that and if she wasn't certain, she couldn't do it. She needed to know that being with him would take her pain away or else it wouldn't be fair to him. She couldn't get back together with him and not be happy, it'd kill her and it'd make him feel awful, no matter what he said. She didn't even know how to say that though without making it seem like she thought he would fail at making her happy which wasn't what she felt, she just felt like nothing could.

"Remember when we first met?" She asked. "I've been thinking about that a lot lately."

"Oh boy, there's a memory." Sands chuckled. "I thought you were going to be a piece of cake. I'd manipulate you, get my eyes and forget you ever existed. Now look at me."

"And I thought you were putting on some act in that Mexican hospital because you must have been so vulnerable." She shook her head. "We were both idiots. Well actually, you did manipulate me."

"No, no I didn't. The only time I came close to that was when I said I didn't want you after Mexico. Every time I was trying to get you into bed before or after was because I had manipulated myself into wanting you. I still can't believe I went through those first few months never even knowing what you looked like. When I think back to then, I have some weird picture in my head of what you might have been wearing or what your hair was like. I doubt I ever get it right. Or your old apartment, what it looked like. It sucks having those memories and not being able to see them in your head."

Charlie looked at him. "I didn't think you thought that much about it."

"How couldn't I?" He shrugged. "Being blind was simultaneously the worst but one of the best times of my life, the parts where you didn't hate me."

Charlie sighed. "I always try to imagine what it must have been like for you but I don't think I'll ever really understand."

"Why would you try and imagine that? Be glad you never have to know."

"I can't help it. I just think about what you must have gone through. The only thing I can only ever grasp is how getting your eyes taken must have been the scariest thing you've ever went through."

"Well," Sands sighed. "You'd be wrong."

Charlie frowned. "What? What could you have gone through that was scarier than that?"

"Hey sugar, I'm not denying it was terrifying, it was, and it's definitely in like the top five times I've been most scared but when I woke up and I was strapped down to that table and I saw that eye-gouger, I knew what was coming. I was drugged and things were blurry and Barillo was harping on and looking quite worrying while doing it but like I said, I knew what was coming. I knew my eyes were going to go and I knew, well I thought I knew, that I was going to die so the only thing I wanted was to take as many of those bastards as I could out with me. I was never expecting Ramirez to succeed after the coup started, or at all, and I never expected that the CIA would come down or that you'd show up. I thought I'd die but I'd die as some kind of, I don't know, some kind of anti-hero. I even saved a kid. When you know what's happening and you know what you gotta do, it becomes way less scary." Sands explained. "But not knowing, having something awful happen and not knowing what's going to happen, live or die, is the scariest fucking thing for me and I can fully admit that I have never, ever, in my life been so scared as I was sitting in a hospital waiting room in Turkey after being told you needed immediate surgery and the chances of you surviving weren't great. Sitting there for hours just waiting and wondering what was happening. Wondering if you were crashing or if you were even still alive or dead and no one had told me yet. My heart stopped every time a doctor or nurse walked by me because I was afraid they'd stop and tell me you were gone. The thought that all I got was a few days with you and you might not make it was the worst feeling I've ever had. So that's it, not knowing whether the person you love is alive or dead is the scariest feeling in the world. For me, anyway."

Charlie could feel the tears coming to her eyes but brought a hand up to try and dry them away quickly. "I wasn't expecting that. I didn't think you still thought about it."

"Sugar, if you think I'm forgetting those few days, you're crazy."

"I'm sorry."

Sands frowned at her. "Why are you apologising? You didn't shoot yourself."

"I just sometimes think I went about things with…Him all wrong. If I had dealt with things properly, maybe things might have gone different."

"How?"

"When we were in the factory, he went on about how I wouldn't give him the time of day and he was right. I told him things were over and then expected him to get out of my life forever. Maybe if I'd actually talked to him or given him more time, he wouldn't have automatically assumed I was cheating with you."

Sands shook his head. "Not with Armisen around. You never heard him but he was intent on killing you if you left his kid. It wouldn't have mattered what Bobby thought."

The thought make Charlie shiver. "How do you do it? Go through your life knowing there are people out there who want you dead? Who hate you that much?"

"I do my best not to care. And more often than not succeed."

"You see, I can't do that. The thought that someone out there wants me dead is a tough thing to get out of my mind. He practically promised it when he sent me that card."

Sands was about to reply but stopped when he registered what she said. "Sent that card to the CIA, you mean?"

Charlie shook her head with a frown. "No, he sent it to me."

"But at the CIA."

"No, to my apartment."

Sands looked at her. "To your apartment? Are you serious?"

"Uh yeah, why?"

"Why? He knows where you live and you're asking why I see a problem with that?"

"I thought you knew he sent the card to my place."

"I obviously didn't! Jesus Charlie, why are you still there?"

"I'm not going to be chased out of my apartment by a card."

"Not a card, a psycho who tried to blow you up and is still on the loose out there."

"Look, when I brought the card in to run the DNA tests, I let the bosses know and they assured me that it was safe."

"Yeah, safe to use you as bait. If he knows where you are, there's more of a chance he'll come out of hiding and go to where you live. How the fuck could you never tell me this?"

"I didn't know you knew he was alive. You didn't tell me either."

"Well, you have to move."

"I'm not moving." She said indignantly. "It's been months and there's been nothing."

"He's probably biding his time, practising on all those blondes he snatched, trying to work his way up to you."

"I told you, that Avenger guy is not him. Sands, he's had plenty of time and opportunity to snatch me and he never has. I've spent a lot of time in my apartment alone and nothing. I've walked the streets alone and nothing. I go out for a run nearly every morning and nothing. This Avenger person does not know I exist and Barry is not around."

"He's alive and he's a threat. No matter where he is, he's around."

"So is Wyman. So is the CIA. And they're closer."

Sands huffed, sitting back. "Fine. You don't want to take him seriously as a threat after everything he's done, that's fine. I'll just bite my tongue and wait until we're in a position again where you nearly die because no one wants to pay attention to what's happening around us."

Charlie looked at him angrily. "You don't think I worry about that? About him coming back?"

"You sure don't act like it. Maybe that's a good thing, good for you that you don't know-"

"Don't you dare say I don't know what it's like to be afraid that I might lose someone." She said heatedly. "Your job is literally risking your life. You go away on missions and I don't know if you're dead or alive until you come home. I can't get a phone call or when I can, I get scared if a day goes by where I don't get one. You go away for months and there is not one day where I am not terrified that you died during it. Believe me; I know what it's like to be scared you're going to lose the person you love. I've felt it for a lot longer than you have and unlike you, I didn't make you feel those things voluntarily. I can't help that I got shot but you always willingly step onto that plane."

"Oh, so we're back onto how I should give up my job. Great. Haven't had that fight in, what was it? Ten minutes? Must be a new record." Sands huffed sarcastically.

"I never said you should quit your job. Never. But don't sit there and pontificate about how you have it so hard to be around the possibility of losing someone when your job is all about that."

"Your ex has nothing to do with my job. You were the one who spent ten years with a psycho. I risked my job because your bad choices came back to bite you in the ass."

Charlie stood up. "You know what? I'm going home. Bye."

She began walking and Sands got up and followed her.

"Charlie, wait."

"No, all we do is fight lately and I'm sick of it!"

"So am I! I'm the one who wants us to get back together, remember?"

"Why? So we can fight more than we already do?"

"Ideally, the fighting would stop."

"Stop? We can't stop. Literally every time we've been together lately, we've started fighting and I can't, I can't handle it anymore."

"You know why we keep fighting? Because you fucking storm off every time before we can sort shit out."

"What is there to sort out? I can't mention your job without you having a fucking heart attack."

"You don't mention it, you criticise it."

"I've been criticising the CIA for a year and you've never cared but just because I don't like their newest trick, I'm now a fucking bitch. Yup, that makes sense."

"But now you're criticising me right along with it." Sands pointed out.

"All I said was that your job makes me worried. Would you prefer I didn't care?"

Sands huffed. "Fine, I was wrong to think you were getting at me about my job again. Now will you stop walking and look at me?"

Charlie stopped and turned to him.

"Look," Sands said. "I get that we're fighting a lot lately but the reason for that is because you're trying to find reasons not to get back together with me and I am pissed about it. What we're fighting about doesn't actually matter."

"Actually it does because we're usually fighting about how I hate the work you do with the CIA and you getting pissed at me. What you seem to always forget is that I've always hated the work you do with the CIA because it is dangerous and malicious and it ruins innocent people's lives like Lupe and I said that last year. We were sitting in my old apartment last year, the night we found out you were getting the eye donation and I told you that you are a bad guy but guess what? I looked past it! I didn't let it affect how I felt about you, even though I should have. I can't condone what you do but most times, I can just get the fuck over it! But there is one time I can't and because of that, you constantly fight me about not liking your job. Guess what? I don't like it any other time either! I just keep my mouth shut! That is how the fighting doesn't happen. It has nothing to do with repressed feelings or unconscious motivations; it's because I keep my fucking mouth shut and let you do what you love."

"Well you know what? It's a fight I can't win. I can't fight you on the fact that you got hurt because of my job. I can't defend myself against that so all I can do is keep fighting because just accepting what you say means I agree that you shouldn't be with me and I can't do that. I can't accept you not being with me. I can't. I love you too much to not keep fighting."

Charlie was at a loss of what to say.

"Charlie?" He frowned. "Talk. Say something."

"Why did you do it to me?" Charlie asked, trying to wrap her head around it and failing. "How could you do it to me? How could you say you love me and know you were going to do it?"

"I do love you." Sands replied.

"Stop it! You do not do that to someone you love! If you loved me, you would have told me! You wouldn't have been able to do it to me!"

"Yeah, you got me, Charlie. I don't love you, I never loved you. Yeah, you got it spot on." Sands said sarcastically. "I have said I'm sorry a million times! I got it wrong! I did a terrible thing, I know that! I regret it! All I want is to go back in time and not do it but that is fucking impossible so all I can do is beg you to forgive me and try to show you how sorry I am! I cannot reverse what I did and I cannot make what I did go away but I am sorry! I just want you back because I do love you! I miss you, not the sex, not the risk, just you! All I want is to just be with you and I will do anything to prove it! You want me to quite working at the CIA? Fine, I'll fucking try! I don't know what else you want me to do with my life since I have no other skills but I will fucking do it!"

Charlie looked at him with a frown.

"Just get back together with him and fuck off!"

Both Sands and Charlie frowned and looked into the trees when they heard an obviously homeless and drunk man wade in on their conversation. Charlie sighed, rubbing her eyes as she realised she was in a public park in the middle of the night and having a shouting match with her ex.

"I'm going home."

Sands looked at her. "Oh no, you're not. I just admitted I'd give up my job for you and you want to walk away from me? No, we are sorting this out."

"What is there to sort out?" She asked. "Can you honestly tell me that if you did give up your job for me, you wouldn't resent me for it?"

Sands clenched his jaw. He had felt bitter even just saying it. "No."

"Then we can't win, can we?"

"We could actually. If you just forgave me for bringing your father and Wyman back into your life and we kept going the way things were going."

"Until you're forced to hurt me again and can't say no? Or the other way around?"

"Believe me, if it was you that was forced to do something, I wouldn't have taken it out on you."

"What could I do to hurt you? You just said you don't let anything get to you."

"I said missions. If I didn't let anything get to me, then why am I standing in a park at four in the morning?"

"You know why I won't get back together with you?" She asked, at the end of her rope. "Because I am terrified it won't make me happy because I don't feel like anything will and it would absolutely kill me if I ended up feeling like that. And I don't want to do that to you."

Sands didn't have a reply to that.

"Don't you think I would love to just go back to the way things were?" She continued. "I was happy then too, you know. I didn't like breaking up with the person I loved but I didn't trust you anymore. I couldn't believe someone who said they loved me could do that to me and I am so unbelievably screwed up right now that I am not capable of being anywhere near a relationship. I'm lucky if I get out of bed in the morning which is completely baffling since I haven't slept in I don't know how long. I want us to get back together." She admitted. "I miss you too much. But I need to know that I can trust you and I don't know how to do that. Now I am going home and you are not going to follow me."

She turned and walked away and Sands followed her.

"What the hell did I just say?" She asked, not turning back to look at him.

"It's four in the morning; you're not walking home alone."

"You can't come into my apartment, my mom is there."

"Sugar, I'm not even going to speed up to walk next to you."

Charlie sighed and kept walking.

* * *

"I preferred it when you were blonde."

Charlie didn't look up from her mirror when she was putting on her make-up the next morning. "Okay, mom."

"I do, I thought it was way nicer." Gwen shrugged as she ate cereal.

"I like it this way."

"Hmm, well it's up to you. Are you going to have anything before you leave?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"You should eat breakfast. I read that skipping breakfast actually makes you put on weight."

"I'm seriously fine."

"Well you're not. That's why I'm here." Gwen put down the bowl. "Though I have to admit, you're looking skinnier than the last time I saw you." A bit too skinny but Gwen wouldn't say it.

"I don't even feel like I have the energy to eat anymore." Charlie said flatly, deciding to be honest. After all, that was why her mother was there.

Gwen grimaced, not knowing what to say to that before smiling. "Oh honey, well at least you're losing weight."

Charlie looked at her blankly. "Yeah, I always have that to help me through the dark days."

"Every cloud, sweetie."

* * *

"Melissa, what are you doing here? Do you have an appointment today?"

Melissa shook her head. "No, I thought I should tell you before someone else does. Thompson is back."

Charlie sighed. "I suppose that was going to happen eventually."

She was just lucky that Sands wasn't around. He was currently looking for Thompson's blood.

"I figured you'd rather hear it from me than any of those assholes." Melissa said.

"You were right. Thanks, Melissa."

"No problem." She replied, stroking her arm. "I better get back to work."

She walked away and Charlie ran a hand through her hair, wondering how long it would take for everything to start up again. Fortunately, she didn't hear about it again all day. Unfortunately, she came face to face with the man himself that night when she was walking to her car.

"Hello, lover."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Get away from me."

Thompson smirked. "Aw, is this our first fight?"

Charlie got to her car. "I knew I should have reported you."

"But you didn't. I think you have a soft spot for me."

"Oh Christ, you're deluded."

"Don't be like that. It's good to see you, doc." He walked over to stand next to her, leaning against her car. "Very good."

Charlie noticed he was leaning against her door lock. "Well, I must be going."

"So soon? I was hoping we could talk. You see, I've got an ache."

"You will if you don't get away from me."

"Now, now. You're a doctor, you have an obligation."

"Not right now."

"But you fixed Agent Sands so good; I was just wondering if your services were _open_ to any agent. We could make those rumours come true."

Charlie restrained herself from jamming her key into his side. "Very funny, they're not even rumours, you're just a lying asshole. Can you please move?"

"But I want your expertise, I've heard of your credentials," He said, his eyes travelling up and down her body. "And I hear you're pretty damn good."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you did."

"Well actually, I've seen it. In pictures and in real life. You wearing the purple bra again?"

Charlie tried to hide the anger and embarrassment. "Leave me alone."

"Come on Doctor, if you're going to open your legs to a wackjob like Sands, I should be in for a shot at playing doctors with you. Or nurses. Please tell me you have a uniform."

Charlie was so offended she didn't notice someone coming up behind Thompson until they had him pinned against the car.

"Hey Thompson." Sands said brightly despite the fact that his arm was pressed against the man's neck. "Couldn't help but overhear your little conversation here and boy, you just got on the wrong side of me right there."

Thompson tried to defend himself but Sands wouldn't let up to let him speak.

"What's that, Thompson? Are you trying to apologise?"

The man shook his head the little bit he could, too proud even though Sands could have killed him right there and everyone in the CIA was weary of Sands.

"You're not? Well, I think you should. You see, you offended Doctor Macintosh and that's not very gentlemanly." Sands let up from the agent's neck and pulled away from him causing the man to fall to the floor, panting for breath. "Oh, you were also blocking her escape."

Thompson would never have come near Charlie if he knew Sands was around and couldn't believe how the guy just seemed to pop up from nowhere; Thompson had heard he'd been suspended. He would be damned if he would apologise though. He got up.

"I'm not going to apologise, it's the truth, isn't it? Your girl here isn't some little angel; she fucked you and paid the consequences. Believe me; the agents have a pool going about who can get her into bed next. We never knew she was so easy."

Thompson couldn't say much more as Sands' fist connected with his head and knocked him unconscious. The man sprawled out on the floor and Sands turned back to Charlie.

"Get in the car."

"What are you even doing here?" Charlie asked, still shocked.

"Crowley called me in." Sands shrugged. "Can't say why."

"Well, you're not helping your suspension." She said.

"I was doing that, no matter what. Actually, I want to do a lot more but not in the CIA parking lot."

"Well…Thank you." She replied. "I'm actually glad you're here because I wanted to apologise for what I said last night…"

"Charlie? We're in the CIA parking lot which has surveillance and Thompson is lying on the ground between us." He pointed out. "Get in your car, go home and call me. We can't talk here."

Charlie was about to reply but stopped and nodded, turning to get into her car. When she got inside and looked out where windshield, Sands was gone.

"How does he do that?"

The next morning, Sands stepped out of the elevator in front of Charlie's door. She hadn't called him and to be honest, he was looking for answers. She had seemed to really want to talk last night and then nothing? He knew she was going through a tough time but he was getting a little tired of the hot and cold act and being toyed with.

_If that's the case, you should just stop going near her._

"Shut up, brain…"

He knocked on her door and turned slightly, only looking back when the door opened.

"Hey su-What the fuck are you doing here?"

Gwen looked at him tiredly. "I'm visiting my daughter; she's not doing great lately thanks to some people."

"Well, it shouldn't be an unfamiliar feeling if she had to spend her years growing up around you."

"Why are you here?"

"I came to talk to Charlie."

"Charlotte."

"No, Charlie. Is she here?"

"Even if she was, you wouldn't be seeing her."

"She's a grown woman; she can make her own choices."

"And she chose to get rid of you. They don't call her a genius for nothing."

Sands rolled his eyes. "You know what? I'll call her."

"Don't bother; she doesn't want anything to do with you."

"I'll let her tell me that herself. Bye now."

"Why can't you just leave her alone?" Gwen asked angrily. "You're beginning to get like him."

Sands frowned. "Him? Her ex? Are you fucking serious?"

"At least, she knew where she was with Barry. She knew what she was doing."

"She fucking hated her life."

"Oh please, you think you know my own daughter better than I do?" Gwen scoffed. "Believe it or not, Mister Sands, I know my daughter. She needs to be made feel like she can't do something in order to be the best at it."

"Excuse me?"

"Her entire life, I have gone on and on about medicine being a man's game, about how she'll never cope, how it was the wrong choice and now look at her. She is one of the most successful and recognised doctors in the country! The world, even. I know how my daughter thinks."

"Oh, really? She told me she took up dancing just to make you happy because you were so against her becoming a doctor. That sounds like a well-adjusted kid?"

"Charlotte was a fantastic dancer and she enjoyed it. I could see her wanting to do it forever but then puberty started making sure that wouldn't happen. So I did what I thought was best. I started telling her that medicine wasn't something she should look into. Guess what she did? She started getting more into becoming a doctor and all thoughts of dancing went out the window before she had to be told her new dreams were going to be crushed."

"You stopped showing interest so she'd give up?"

"I have no doubt you ogle my daughter every chance you get so you can see as clearly as I can that chest and those curves wouldn't have done her any favours in ballet. When she started filling out, she wanted to lose weight and then she started losing too much weight. She wouldn't stop dieting and exercising and I got worried about her. I tried to put a stop to it but she thought I was being unsupportive and wanted to prove me wrong so I did what works best with her, I stopped showing an interest and then started bashing medicine. She stopped caring about how skinny she was fairly quickly." Gwen shrugged. "She may have put on a lot of weight after that because of stopping so suddenly but we have to take the bad with the good, don't we?"

Sands ignored the last part. "And you think she was happy with that fuckmook?"

"I think she knew exactly what she was doing. She was with someone she didn't consider important enough to move in with or marry but who she could drag out and use when she wanted. I've been married more times than I can count and I'll tell you, that's all women like Charlotte need. Now you've gone and injected feelings and love into the situation, you're completely after fucking up her entire dynamic. Charlotte likes to be in control, now she has none of that. She likes to go against whatever anyone thinks of her and prove them wrong. Charlotte can do everything, anything she puts her mind to. But she gets bored. Once she conquers something, she doesn't like it anymore. Piano lessons? She was phenomenal but have you ever heard her play? Does she own a piano? Horse riding? I bet she never told you that she used to own a horse and stable. Not anymore. Dancing, painting, wall climbing? She's done them all and she's perfected them all. She doesn't care about any of them anymore. Do you think it's easy having a gifted child? I tried everything to keep her stimulated. You don't know the time and money I put into her reaching her full potential and there's only one thing that ever stuck. Medicine. You know why? Because for Charlotte, a broken person comes into her, she fixes them and she's done, onto something different. Once she's perfected a case, it's over. It's always changing. That's what Charlotte needs. It works for her. But, you? You were just another challenge. The last time I met you, you were an asshole to my daughter and she couldn't work it out, it frustrated her but that just always brought her back to you. Now, here you are talking about how much you love her? That's it. She's gotten what she wanted and like always, she's going to get bored and she's going to move on. You're not like Barry, you won't let her use you. You'll try and make her happy. She'll hate it."

"Ignoring the parts where you spoke about things you know nothing about, you don't mind that Charlie is a doctor?"

"If I gave Charlotte the validation I've always tried to give her, she'll see it as a job done. As it is, she's happy striving to work in medicine. I mean, she went to work yesterday morning and her shift is still going. She's not happy but she's doing what she loves so I don't mind."

Sands frowned. "What do you mean her shift is still going? Charlie went home last night."

Gwen shook her head. "No, she text me last night saying she was extending her shift."

"I saw her get in her car."

Gwen went inside and came back out with her phone. "Look."

Sands looked at the message and it was from Charlie's number. He checked the time and saw it was twenty minutes after he saw her. It just didn't seem right; he saw her pull out of the parking lot.

He turned and walked into the elevator.

"Excuse me?" Gwen called after him. "My phone?"

Sands huffed and gave it back before running into the elevator and letting it close. He took out his phone and dialled.

"Trevor Hartford."

"I'm guessing you saw the footage from last night and I'm guessing you're telling me to go fuck myself but first answer me this, did she come back after I left?"

Trevor was silent on the other.

"Trevor?"

"Her car was found stopped at the traffic lights early in the morning and the driver's side door open. She was nowhere to be found."

Sands ran his hand over his mouth. "Are you kidding me?"

"We're looking for her."

"It's him. I fucking told you he'd come back and no one listened to me."

"Sands, let the CIA handle this."

"You can do your job and I'm going to do mine."

"You get involved and you won't have a job."

"It'll be worth it."

Sands hung up the phone and the elevator doors opened. He rushed out and went to his car.

_How the fuck am I going to do this?_

* * *

"I hope everything is to your liking."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Do not be so coarse, Doctor Macintosh." Harish Sharma said. As Charlie had learned last night after the limo pulled up next to her car at the traffic lights and she was pulled out of her car and into the back of his, Sharma had been in New York for weeks waiting for a meeting with her father's company and had no contact. As it turned out, he didn't take too kindly to the risk of coming to America with very little pay off. "None of this is to hurt you. Your father and his business partner abandoned our dealings without a word and I do not appreciate that. This is just…Collateral. A message, if you will, to get his attention. He doesn't come here and you die. Okay, a little of it might hurt you. But I'm sure your father won't let that happen."

"Good luck with that." Charlie replied sarcastically. "The reason my father dropped you without a word is because the man is in a coma."

Sharma frowned. "What?"

"Your henchmen are as dumb as they are ugly because they didn't figure that out." True, her father's condition had been pretty well hidden from the spotlight since the celebrity media didn't really cover Langley, Virginia and no one at the hospital had cashed in but a kingpin like Sharma not knowing? That was just Charlie's luck. "Kidnapping me will do nothing."

"I wouldn't say that. Your father does have a partner."

Charlie's eyes widened. "He won't care. No point. Just let me go and I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Oh come now, Doctor Macintosh, I'm sure your father's business partner will be more than loyal to his business partner's daughter, even if it's just for your father."

"You'd be wrong. Very wrong."

Sharma smirked. "Worth a try."

He left the little room Charlie was stuck in and she closed her eyes.

_Oh shit._

* * *

**So, Gwen is a little bit smarter than we all thought, huh?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"This better not waste too much of my time."

"He said it'd be worth your while to show up."

"It might have been more worth my while going back to LA."

"Why are you even still in Virginia?"

"I have my reasons. Keeping my cards close to my chest."

Wyman smirked when his driver stopped asking questions. That was sign of good help; they knew when to shut up.

The car stopped outside the hotel and Wyman got out. He walked over to the elevators and made his way to the room Sharma had indicated. He knocked on the door and one of Sharma's men opened it.

"Ah, Nathan." Sharma said from inside the apartment. "So good to see you. Finally."

"I thought it was made clear that our business deal was no longer going through." Wyman walked inside.

"Not very clear. And not very mannerly. I had come to expect better from your company. I did not take too kindly to how you parted ways." Sharma explained, walking over to the drinks tables and pouring one for himself. "Drink?"

"I'll pass. I'm very sorry that you didn't find our business satisfactory but I guess you have heard about my business partner?"

"Yes, just very recently. Such a shame to hear. I hope he pulls through and returns to full health."

"Yeah, we're all praying." Wyman muttered sarcastically before speaking to Sharma again. "Due to Steven's ill health and absence from the office, all current meetings and impending deals have been stalled. Seeing as your time is precious, we felt that all ties had to be cut permanently so as not to waste your time."

"Hmmm, you wasted my time by having me fly to your country and then disregarding any dealings we might have had."

"Well, we wouldn't want you to feel any ill-will so please, anything I can do to repay your valuable time and effort, I will be more than happy to fulfil."

"A true gentleman." Sharma smirked.

"Unfortunately, my time is quite restricted at the moment so if you call my office…"

"Ah, the usual excuse." Sharma's face darkened. "I am sorry to say but I knew you were all words and so, I prepared for any unsatisfactory answers you were prepared to give me."

Wyman frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Just a little precaution." Sharma indicated to one of his men who opened the door to the bedroom and dragged out Charlie. Wyman had a look of surprise dawn on his face which was exactly what Sharma had hoped for. Charlie would look neither in the eye. "I have had my people call your people, many times, and have yet to get a reply from you. I decided to take matters into my own hands and finally get your attention. I figured what better way than threatening your partner's daughter?"

"And what exactly do you plan to threaten? You're going to kill her if I don't…What? Send you an official letter of apology?"

"Don't joke. She'll be the only one to suffer." Sharma said. "Now, before you terminated our dealings, we had been negotiating price for my services."

Wyman nodded, understanding. "You want what you were owed."

"No, I want what I first brought to the table."

Wyman looked at him with wide eyes. "That's more than twice what any fabrics or service you can offer is worth. You came with that number knowing you'd never get it. It's was a number to start haggling with."

"And now it's a number that will save her life. Although, if you prefer…" Sharma indicated and his man who had a hold of Charlie brought a gun up to her under a jaw.

"Alright, stop." Wyman put a hand up before looking back at Sharma. "You know I couldn't take that money out of the company without questions being asked and I can't exactly say I used it to ransom Steven's daughter."

"Well, I'm sure you can make up the funds somewhere."

"My own pocket?"

"If you must."

Wyman huffed. "So be it. I'll the money moved first thing in the morning." Charlie looked up at that. Why was he even bothering? "Come by my New York office tomorrow morning and the money will be waiting for you. I'll fly up there tonight and meet you personally."

"You believe you can have the money by tomorrow?" Sharma asked.

"Every penny. Now can I take her and leave?"

Sharma looked over at Charlie, surprised that this was the moment she looked most scared since he'd taken her. He looked back at Wyman. "If this is some trick, I hope you know she will be being watched until the money is safe in my grasp."

"I would hardly expect much else. On my honour as a business man, if you come to my office at noon tomorrow and I am not there, I will expect her to be dead by 12:01."

"And she will be." Sharma promised.

"She won't be, I'll have your money. Now can I take her home?"

"Let her go." Sharma instructed and Charlie felt the grasp on her disappear only to be replaced by Wyman's.

He dragged her out of the hotel room and out of the hotel. He didn't say a word to her but instead called his driver and told him to pull around to the front. When they got to the door, Wyman's car was waiting for them as he forced her into the backseat and got in behind her. The car took off and the backseat was filled with icy silence.

That was until Wyman spoke up.

"Honestly Charlie, you work for the CIA and you still managed to get kidnapped by a halfwit?"

Charlie tried to ignore him but Wyman looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Charlie? I'm speaking to you."

Charlie turned to look at him. "Why did you pay to get me back? Why bother?"

"Because you're my best friend's daughter and I would never do that to him."

"Why? Honestly?"

"You work for the CIA, the CIA has been investigating Sharma and consequently, my company because of our ties to him which is why we severed all ties with him so if Sharma killed you, I'd get it in the neck as well as him. And by it, I mean bullets."

"Well, if you want to pull over, I'll get out and we don't have to be anywhere near each other."

"Do you even know where you are? It's nowhere near where you live."

"How do you know where I live?"

"I have my ways. Anyway, I'm going to need to ask you a few questions before I get rid of you."

"Like what?"

"Did you tell Sharma anything?"

"You mean about how you raped me?" Charlie asked.

"Just answer the question and cut it with the attitude."

Charlie huffed. "No, I didn't."

"He knows nothing?"

"Well, judging by how I practically begged him not to let you near me and the look of pure terror on my face when you asked if you could take me away, he probably knows something is up."

"And here's me thinking you weren't going to let it out."

"I'm not!" Charlie replied. "I never have!"

"You told your boyfriend."

"I didn't tell him. He overheard. And anyway, he was never going to tell anyone. You didn't have to go over there and beat the living daylights out of him. Oh wait, it wasn't you, it was your cronies. Couldn't get your suit dirty."

"Don't think you're special, I did that because he was insolent. I gave him a lot of money and a car and he repaid my kindness with disrespect."

Charlie tried to not look shocked about Wyman being the one to give Sands the car. She'd always thought it was her father and Sands had never denied it. "Well, he won't tell and I won't so you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried. Although, I think it's time you get away from the Sands character. He seems to bring nothing but trouble."

Charlie didn't reply. She didn't move. She tried to stay as far away on the seat as possible and breathe slowly.

Wyman looked at her. "Charlie? You listening to me?"

"I'm trying not to."

"Don't be like that, I just saved you."

"If you don't like the ingratitude, pull over and let me get out."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because Sharma might be done with you but I'm not."

Charlie looked at him quickly. "Don't touch me."

Wyman rolled his eyes. "I have no such plans; I just want to offer you a proposition."

"I don't want to hear it; I want nothing to do with you."

"Well, you're going to have to."

"Why do I?"

"Your father left you the company."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"He made strict instructions that if anything should happen to him, his ownership would pass to you."

"He's not dead."

"Did I say if he died?" Wyman asked with a raised eyebrow. "I said if anything should happen to him which it has. He made it clear that if he can't run his company, you would take over. He made it very, very clear, cast iron, no loopholes clear."

Charlie realised what he was saying. "You want me to sign power over to you."

"You have no interest in that company, just like your father didn't but he is the CEO and majority shareholder, much to my annoyance. I work harder than anyone for that company; it should be me who is up top. Sign power over to me and we don't have to deal with each other again."

"What if I don't?" She asked.

Wyman looked over at her. "Why wouldn't you?"

"It's my father's company, I may not have the best relationship with him but I'm not going to screw him out of it. I sign over power to you and I could make him lose everything."

"How? The minute he wakes up, he is back in charge."

"Until you call his mental state into question in front of other shareholders and they decide he's not fit to run a company but oh look, you are." She shook her head. "No. If I had any sense, I would use my new gotten power and get rid of you altogether."

Wyman looked at her darkly. "You can't."

"I know a few more things than you think I do. My grandfather taught me all about business and I know you entered into a contract agreement when getting into business with my father that stated your position could be terminated at will or for cause. I don't blame you; you were just starting off and desperate to tie your name in with his, especially when you found it so easy to wrap him around your finger. I'm in charge now though. I'm the majority shareholder of a private company and if I have a legitimate business purpose, I can fire a minority shareholder, if there's no alternative."

"And what would be your legitimate business purpose?"

"You tried to put the company into business with Sharma, a known criminal and subject of CIA investigation. I'm sure the paperwork will be in the offices and if not, I'm sure the CIA has plenty of evidence. You could have severely damaged the reputation of the company, not to mention, gotten it dissolved due to illegal activities. Try and take me to court if I fire you, all you'll get is arrested."

She should have known better than to provoke him but she couldn't help it and she paid for it when Wyman lunged across the seat at her. She felt his hands wrap around her neck as she tried to push him off her. She only managed to get him off when the car jerked to a stop. She wrenched the door open and got out, running as quickly as possible. She didn't know where she was exactly but when she saw a bar, she hurried inside just to be surrounded by people. Even if Wyman did find her, he'd never do anything in public. She walked up to the bar man.

"Can…Can I use your phone?" She asked breathlessly.

"You okay?" He frowned.

Charlie realised she must look like a mess and her fear had made her white as a sheet.

"I just…I need to call someone to come pick me up. I'm sorry; I don't have any money to use a payphone…"

"It's alright," He said, handing over the phone. She must have really looked shaken.

Her hands shook as she dialled the number and before she realised it, Sands' phone number was nearly put completely into the phone. She stopped for a second to think about it. She hadn't even realised that she was calling him automatically but she had to stop. He was probably more than a little sick of her needing him to come to her rescue all the time and not getting anything out of it.

_I can't keep depending on him. It isn't fair._

_Who else do I have to call?_

It was a very short list.

* * *

"What?"

"Is that really your phone greeting? Could use some work."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Cut the attitude. She's fine."

Sands froze when Trevor told him on the phone the next morning. "She's home?"

"She called us to pick her up last night. It was Sharma."

"Sharma?" That surprised Sands.

"Yes, Sharma."

"Did you go and arrest him?"

"He's dead."

This phone call kept getting stranger. "Sharma's dead? You killed him?"

"Oh no, he died before we got anywhere near him. Have you even looked at the news? A newspaper? Anything relating to the outside world?"

Sands ignored him. "How'd he die?"

"Drug overdose."

"What? I've been looking into Sharma for over a month and haven't found anything on him being into drugs."

"Yeah, neither did we."

"You think he was murdered?"

"We're looking into it."

"Code for it's none of my damn business."

"You're on suspension. None of the CIA's dealings at the moment is any of your business. I'm only talking to you now to get you to calm the hell down and leave your investigation into the Avenger or who you think is Peterson to the police. We don't need any questions getting asked because you went off half-cocked. Neither this Avenger guy nor Peterson, both of whom are not the same person, were anywhere near Macintosh so enough with the crusade. Bye."

Trevor hung up and Sands put down the phone, wondering one thing.

_Why did she call the CIA and not me?_

* * *

_There she is._

Sands watched from his car as she walked along the sidewalk. He was secretly pleased that she was wearing the purple and gold-sequinned scarf that he'd gotten for her. It almost softened the blow that she hadn't even thought to let him know she was okay. Not that much though, he was still quite bitter but she was wearing the scarf he bought her over any of the others. That had to mean something.

That was until he saw her meeting the new doctor again. He kissed her on the cheek, again, and they walked into a store with smiles on their faces. Sands clutched his steering wheel tightly, his knuckles whitening under the driving gloves he was wearing. He wanted to kill that guy. Maybe he could. He could just sneak into his apartment one night and shoot him. Who would know it was him?

_Wait, I'm beginning to sound like the psycho. Yup, killing her new squeeze is definitely reminiscent of that fucktard._

Sands sighed, resting back against the headrest, closing his eyes.

_Damnit._

* * *

"Hey honey, you know what we should do?"

Later that evening, Charlie looked up from her laptop when he mother came out of her closet. "What?"

"Go shopping. Just spend a whole day buying you a whole new wardrobe and then we can throw some of the old stuff out."

"Like what?"

"Oh great, come let me show you." Gwen smiled, going to walk back into the closet.

"Wait." Charlie said, stopping her. "Maybe later." She couldn't really deal with all that right now. "I'm just…Later."

Gwen turned back and walked over to her daughter, running her hand over Charlie's hair. "Oh sweetie, that man is dead now. There's nothing to be scared of anymore."

"I know." To be truthful, Charlie wasn't scared of Sharma and hadn't really ever been. Wyman was the problem and he'd made himself more of one because she was convinced he killed Sharma instead of having to hand over any money and in case Sharma knew anything. It really unnerved her how far Wyman was willing to go. "Just still a little shaken."

"Look, why don't we go out for dinner tonight? Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

Gwen smiled. "I'm going to go for a shower and why don't you decide where we go?"

"Yeah, I'll find somewhere."

Gwen squeezed her daughter's shoulder and walked into the bathroom but stopped and turned back. "Maybe you should call him."

Charlie frowned and turned back to her mother. "Who?"

"Sheldon, Sands, whatever you call him."

"Are you serious? I thought you wanted me to have nothing to do with him?"

"I don't and I still think you made the right decision to leave him and move on but honey, you should have seen him when he realised you were missing. He was out of here and looking for you in a shot."

"Wait, he knew?"

"Well, yes. Didn't you know that?"

"No." When she'd asked Crowley if Sands knew, he'd told her no, that no one did. She grabbed her bag and got up.

"Wait, I said call." Gwen said. "On the phone."

"I'll be back soon." She promised.

"Charlotte…"

"Back soon, I promise."

Charlie left the apartment and went to her car, driving to Sands' place. She realised she didn't actually have a clue of what to say when she was at his door and after knocking. Her instinct to run had to be culled when Sands opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, hating the fact that he wanted to be happy that she was still wearing the scarf.

"My mom just told me that you knew I had a little run in with Sharma."

"Yes, I did but you're obviously fine so…Why are you here?"

Charlie frowned. "I just…I don't know, I guess I thought I'd let you know what happened and that I'm okay."

"Sharma took you, you got away, Sharma is now dead and you are fine. Is that it?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess it is." What was she thinking? Why did she even come here? She was so used to telling him everything and having him care that it had completely skipped her mind that he might not. This was why she hadn't called him last night; she had to stop expecting him to care. She was the one who broke up with him. She hadn't gone through many break ups in her life but she was pretty sure that when you broke up with someone, you didn't try and depend on that person every day and dig the knife in deeper. She just needed to leave him alone.

"Did you kill him?"

"What?" She asked, taken aback.

"Sharma. He took you but you got free and now he's dead, it's safe to assume that shit went down. So, did you?" Sands folded his arms.

"No." She replied shortly. "He died of a drug overdose."

"Something a doctor could probably take care of."

"I didn't kill him. I wouldn't do something like that."

"Lupe would beg to differ. If she weren't dead."

Charlie looked at him angrily. "I'll see you when your suspension is up. Bye."

She turned to walk away, not believing she could be so stupid as to come over here and expect anything less than what her and Sands had usually been like since they broke up. Seriously, why did she keep doing it to herself? It never ended well anymore.

Her thoughts stayed in that same vein all the way home until she opened her door and saw her mother sitting on the couch.

"You're back soon."

Charlie nodded. "Told you I would be."

"How is he?"

"Same as always."

"Ah."

"I thought you were going for a shower?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were alright." Gwen said, standing up. "Now that you're back, I feel better."

She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her and Charlie walked over to the couch, lying down. She didn't have her eyes closed long when there was an angry sounding knock on her door. Frowning, she got up and opened it to see Sands on the other side.

"What are you-?"

"Why the hell didn't you call me?"

Charlie frowned at him. "What?"

"You would call the CIA but you wouldn't call me? The CIA? Those people you hate? You're depending on them now?"

"I called them because I didn't think you'd want to hear it."

"Oh really? Because I was such a prick every other time you needed me?"

"No! But…" She stopped and opened her door wider to let him inside. He walked inside the apartment and she closed the door. "Sands, let be honest, I can't keep calling you and hoping you'll save me. How is that fair to either of us?"

"So you'd rather depend on the CIA?"

"There weren't that many other choices."

"You could have at least let me know you were okay. I had to find out from Trevor."

"I didn't know you knew. Crowley told me you didn't. He must not have known Trevor told you."

"The fact that you considered the CIA before me-"

"I didn't! I was going to call you! I dialled your number before even thinking about it but what was I supposed to say? That I needed you to help me again even though you wouldn't be getting anything out of it? How is that fair to you?"

Sands had to admit, part of his annoyance stemmed from the new doctor. If she wasn't even going to have Sands around, it was definitely a sign that she was growing apart from him and closer to this new guy.

"Sands?"

"Forget it."

"No, I won't. You buddy up to the CIA all the time and whenever I get angry, I'm being unreasonable but I call them once for a ride home and it's the worst thing ever? Talk about being hypocritical."

"Okay, first of all, I don't buddy up to the CIA, I do my job, there's a difference." He said angrily. "Secondly, I didn't say anything against you for calling the CIA but don't come around my place expecting me to give a shit when you didn't care before."

"I didn't know you knew before!"

"But you were willing to tell the CIA! So you were happy to let them know something but not me? That doesn't sound familiar." He said sarcastically.

"Don't even try that! I did not hide anything from you the way you did with me! Sharma having me had nothing to do with you!"

"Except I was investigating the guy!"

"He never knew the CIA were looking into him!"

"How the hell do you know? He knew when and where to snatch you! He knew about you at all! But no, no one thought to tell me a fucking thing! If that isn't fucking hypocritical, I don't know what is."

"You are just looking for excuses to be angry with me and I don't know why! Jesus, I thought it was bad when we were fighting about the CIA and couldn't stop but you're actually looking to fight about anything now! No wonder I didn't call you! We can go barely twenty seconds without getting into a fight!"

"The reason we are fighting all the time is because you make bad decisions!"

"I do? We were happy until you fucked up!"

"Until I did my job, you mean! That thing I have no decision over!"

"I don't remember you getting the ultimatum! I'm the one forced to work there!"

"Oh Christ, we're on this again? Seriously? Do you ever change the fucking record?"

"You brought up work!"

"If it were up to you, I wouldn't have any work!"

Charlie put her hand up to her head. "I can't do this again. I can't have this fight again. I went to your place to let you know I was okay, thinking you'd actually give a fuck."

"Oh, here comes the pity party."

"Fuck you." She said angrily. "I'm not the only one who's in this fight and I'm not the only one shouting."

"You won't end it."

"Me? How am I the only one who won't end it?"

"Because you won't."

"Hey, if there was a way for this fight to end, believe me, I'd do it."

Before Charlie could say another words, Sands lips were on hers and his hands were tight on her waist, pinning her to him.

"What was that?" She asked when the kiss ended.

"You're the genius and you didn't remember that when we were together, how all of our fights ended?"

Charlie did remember. Whenever they started fighting, it would usually end and be forgotten about by having sex. Either they'd get so passionate that they couldn't help themselves or Charlie would use it as a bargaining tool or Sands would find her anger sexy and seduce her into bed. Either way, the minute the clothes came off, the fight was forgotten. It made sense that when they stopped being together, their fights would keep going because really, they'd never finished a fight. They'd just forgotten all about it.

Sands had been expecting her to pull away like she always did so he was surprised when she was about to kiss him. She did pull back though when the sound of the shower made her remember.

"My mom is here."

Sands remembered then too. "So she is."

Charlie left his arms. "Anyway, that's not the way to end this fight. We tried the sex with no strings thing before and the fight usually just went on after it but made us feel pretty pathetic in between."

"I didn't feel pathetic."

"Well, weak then."

"Okay, maybe a little."

"So, I just think-"

Both were distracted when Charlie's phone went off.

"Answer it." Sands said when she hesitated.

She was still for a second before doing so. "Hello?...He is?...Oh, I…Okay, I'll be right there. Thank you." She hung up her phone. "My dad's awake."

"He is?" Sands frowned.

"Yeah, that was the hospital. I have to go." She began to walk out the door.

"I'll go with you." Sands said before he even realised it.

_She's right, that is like second nature. Damn._

"No, you don't have to." She replied although she looked like she didn't mean it.

"Come on." He went to the door.

He walked out and Charlie had no option but to write a quick note to her mother before following him.

* * *

"What do I say to him?"

"Whatever you want."

Charlie looked at Sands as they sat in the waiting room. She was just waiting for the okay to go in but apparently, waking up from a coma and a combination of medicine had made her father extremely tired all over again and he was currently knocked out. But now the doctors were positive he'd wake up soon. "That's a long list."

"Well, here's your chance."

"You don't have to stay here."

"What?" He frowned.

"You just…You don't seem like you want to be here."

"I said I'd come, I'm gonna stay."

"Are you really this angry with me because I didn't call you?" She asked.

No, he wasn't even that angry. He was just trying to hide how painful it felt that she might have found another guy so quickly. She even knew him when she was still with Sands which meant there had to be some attraction there before she ever broke up with him. He'd be lying if he didn't say the thought killed him. But he was used to lying and he couldn't exactly tell her he knew because he'd been following her and he didn't want her to know the power she still had over him.

"Sands?" Charlie continued. "Is it?"

"Charlie?" Sands was saved from answering when a nurse walked into the room. "You can see your father now. He's just beginning to wake up."

Charlie looked at Sands for a few more seconds before getting up and leaving the waiting room and leaving Sands with a very bitter taste in his mouth.

* * *

Steven woke up and was shocked to see his daughter sitting in the visitor's chair.

"Charlie?"

Charlie looked up. "How could you have done this?"

He sighed. "I have an addiction…"

"Do not start that bullshit with me. I have spent my entire life hearing about your addiction and dealing with your sickness but this?"

"You're a doctor, I thought you'd understand."

"Don't even. I did not become a doctor so I could understand your illness; I became a doctor because I wanted to be the best at something hard. It had nothing to do with you and do not use my career to justify your decisions."

"That's not what I'm trying to do." Steven said. "I just…"

"What?" Charlie asked. "Decided that an overdose was the best way to go? 'Well, I've spoken to my daughter once but I can't handle the truth so I'm going to pump my body full of drugs and that'll do the trick!' What? You weren't satisfied with giving me a sense of shame and neglect; you had to throw guilt and remorse in there too?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what? Still being in business with that man or making me have to see him again or acting like the victim because of it?"

"Charlie…"

"Why are you still in business with him if you know what he did?"

"Because…" Steven sighed. "The company can't afford…"

"The company? You're still putting the company before me and you expect me to just be okay with that? You expect me to forgive you and my rapist for the sake of your company?"

"I don't expect you to forgive him for what happened."

Charlie was a little hesitant now. "For what he did."

Steven nodded. "Yes, what he did."

"What did he do?" She asked.

Steven looked up at her. "Charlie…"

"Say it. Say what he did. Say what he did to me."

Steven was silent.

"Oh my God," She frowned. "You still don't think he did it."

Steven looked hesitant. "It's a complicated..."

"There's nothing complicated about it! Your best friend raped me!"

"Charlie, I get it. I get what it's like to get into situations that you aren't able to deal with..."

"You still think I was drunk and just regretted it the morning after? That he just took advantage of me being drunk and the morning after, I'd realised what happened and started shouting rape?"

"You'd be completely within your rights to."

"Three hours."

Steven frowned. "What?"

"Your business partner, your best friend was in my bedroom that night for three hours. Does that really sound like some quick, drunken mistake to you? He kept me in there for three hours and you just think it was a case of being drunk? That is not what happened! I said no! A lot! I screamed no and he pinned me down, your business partner, your best friend pinned me down and raped me." He looked uncomfortable hearing it but she was making him listen once and for all. "There was no grey area there, that is what happened. I was not drunk, I was not messy and I did not consent. Ever. He knew exactly what he was doing, I don't care what you two were drinking or taking that night, he was completely sober and he knew what he was doing. You can believe me or you can believe him but that doesn't change what really happened."

Charlie went to leave the room but turned back quickly. "And even if what he did say happened, that I was just drunk, that is still rape. You should still hate him because I am your daughter and you are supposed to be there for me and protect me and believe me over anyone else. What he did, no matter what you choose to believe, is still rape and that is true no matter what story you hear. And you really think he isn't capable of that?" Charlie ripped off the scarf that had been around her neck to hide the bruises of finger prints left there. "He did this just last night. Your best friend put his hands around my neck last night because I wouldn't sign over your share of the company to him. He wants you gone and the company to himself. He does not give a fuck about you or any loyalty you have, he would have been happier if you were out of the picture for good."

With that, she turned and hurried out of the hospital room quickly before tears started to fall. She did not want her father to see her cry. She didn't want him to see how much what he believed meant to her because she was a grown woman now and had dealt with this long ago. If he didn't believe her, then he was an idiot. If he chose someone else over her, then that was fine. She didn't need him.

"Charlie?"

Charlie looked up when Sands approached her, having obviously been waiting for her. Before Charlie could tell herself how much she didn't care, she found herself sobbing against him, being supported by his arms, where she used to feel safe and she supposed, she still did even if she couldn't trust anything else about him.

"Why won't he believe me?" Sands heard her ask between sobs.

He sighed. "I don't know."

* * *

"What happened your neck?"

Charlie sighed as they sat in his car outside his apartment where she could get her own. She was just trying to gather herself before going back to her own apartment where her mother would be. "I didn't tell you everything."

"What didn't you tell me?"

"When Sharma took me, he didn't do it to get back at the CIA."

Sands frowned. "He didn't?"

"No, he did it to get back at my father and Wyman. Only my father was out of action so…"

"He called Wyman."

"Who came, made a deal to pay Sharma and took me out of there. He then proceeded to tell me that my father put me in charge of the company and I should sign power over to him. I goaded him about it, stupidly, and…" She pointed to her neck. "And it's no coincidence that Sharma was found dead the next morning and Wyman's bank account didn't get considerably lighter."

"Wait, Wyman killed Sharma?"

"He was afraid Sharma knew something. I know that because the first thing he did was ask me if Sharma knew."

"Did he?"

"Nothing specific but he knew something was up which just makes Wyman even more terrifying."

"He won't touch you."

"He already did."

Sands couldn't understand himself because now he was feeling bitter at the thought that she only wore the scarf to hide bruises. It had nothing to do with him.

_It's a scarf, let it go!_

"So the CIA is looking into Sharma's death?" Sands figured.

Charlie shrugged. "I have no clue. The minute they picked me up, I was out of the loop."

"Why didn't you tell me about Wyman?"

"Because like I said, I didn't want to burden you again."

"Warning me that Wyman is getting bolder isn't burdening me."

"Yeah, well…Feels like it."

"Charlie," He said, making her look at him, "I need to know these things. If he's starting to panic that you're going to talk, I need to know what I'm in for."

"You're not in for anything."

"I told you I'd protect you and I meant it. You should have called me."

Charlie didn't know what to say. Her mind was brought back to that quite good kiss a while ago. "Thank you."

Sands had to admit, he felt bitter about her moving on but Wyman was a different kettle of fish, that was something he needed to stick around for. "I mean it."

"I know." She nodded. "I better go."

"Okay."

She left the car and made her way to her own, and neither tried to look back at the other.

Later that night, Charlie was lying on her couch, wide awake. Her mother was sleeping peacefully in her bed and besides wondering when her mother would eventually make her way to that hotel she'd mentioned and give Charlie back her own bed, Charlie's mind was also on what it usually was. Although tonight, it was more on the kiss he'd given her. She would have been a big liar if she said she didn't miss his kisses and his touches and that she wanted them quite a good deal after going without for so long. She never thought she'd feel this way about sex but she did miss it. She missed the closeness it brought her to him and the security of having him wrapped around her and sleeping on his chest or with him up against her back with his arms circled around her. She missed the heat, the breathlessness, everything that had come back so vividly over that one kiss. She wanted it, and felt like she needed it.

Not being able to handle just lying there with these thoughts running through her head, Charlie got up and decided she needed fresh air and to stretch her legs. Instead of getting changed, she just put on her coat and snuck out of the apartment quietly.

* * *

Sands frowned when he was awoken to hear a knocking at his door. He looked over at his clock to see that it had just gone three in the morning. He sat up, putting on his discarded pants and walked down his stairs and over to the door. He was surprised to find Charlie on the other side.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" He asked.

She was silent for a second. "Can we start with something a little easier?"

"Do you wanna come in?"

She nodded. "Yes."

Sands stepped aside and she walked into the apartment. Sands closed the door and turned to her. He didn't know what to say and he was pretty sure she didn't know what to say either. She was wearing her plaid pyjama pants and just a string top under her jacket.

"Charlie, why are you here?" He asked.

She seemed to find it hard to make eye contact. "I was lonely."

"So you drove over here in the middle of the night?" He asked. "Do you want to just talk or sleep or…?"

He got his answer when she reached up and kissed him. Sands wrapped his arms around her as he continued the kiss but soon parted it.

"I know I'm asking a lot of questions here but is this just for tonight or is this you forgiving me for good?"

Charlie didn't seem to know that answer herself. "Can we go up to your bed?"

Sands felt like he should get an answer first but couldn't possibly deny her. "If you want to."

Charlie nodded and turned, walking over to where the stairs started and walking up them to where his bedroom was. When he followed her, he found her sitting on his bed, her jacket off.

Sands walked over and stood in front of her as she looked up at him. "Again, is this just sleeping or…?"

He got his answer when she stood up and brought him to sit on the bed. She straddled him as she lifted her string top over her head and threw it away so both of them were topless. She began kissing him and Sands' hands began roaming parts of her body that he'd definitely missed. In between kisses, Charlie left out quiet moans and gasps of appreciation when he touched sensitive places that hadn't been touched in a while. Both had been without for quite some time so it wasn't long before every article of clothing was disregarded to give each other more access. Charlie was desperate to have Sands touch her and Sands was more than willing to oblige. When they were lying back on the bed and he was settled between her legs, Sands cupped her face, making her look up at him. He'd noticed that although she'd enjoyed his ministrations and had even instructed him to what she needed and had succumbed to his touch more than once by now, she hadn't really looked at him. Her eyes hadn't ever met his.

"If we're doing this, we're doing it under my terms." He said. "I get to look at you, and I don't mean your body, I mean into your eyes. You don't get to jump up and run out straight afterwards as if you made a mistake, if you think this will be then you can leave now. And you will call me Sheldon."

Charlie seemed to hesitate for a moment before nodding. Once that deal was made, Sands slid inside her and Charlie let out a gasp.

"Sheldon…"

* * *

"What made you come here?"

"I felt lonely."

"Is that all?"

Charlie was silent for a second. "You're the only person who makes me feel safe."

"You don't feel safe?"

"Never."

Sands held her tighter. "You should. Together or not, I'm always going to make sure you are."

"I thought so. Until you ended up being the one who hurt me." She admitted. "I know I do sound like a broken record but it is what makes this so hard. I only feel safe when I'm around you but I don't trust you not to hurt me."

"So why come here at all?"

Charlie didn't have an answer which was made clear when she sat up and began getting dressed.

"Wait," Sands said. "We made a deal. You're not allowed to run away."

Charlie didn't stop getting dressed. "I didn't run out straight after but I can't stay here."

"Why not?"

"Because I want nothing more than to hate you for what you did to me and never see you again."

"Then why did you come here tonight?"

Charlie was finished now and looked at him. "Because I can't stay away."

She hurried down the stairs and Sands heard the door open and close.

* * *

Charlie was surprised when she tried to sneak back into her apartment but found that the lamp by the kitchen was on and her mom was sitting at the counter with a cup in front of her.

"Well, it took a little longer than usual but you finally learned how to sneak out to meet boys." Her mother had a little smile on her face.

Charlie sighed and walked over, sitting on the other side of the counter.

"You were with him?"

Charlie nodded, running her hand through her hair. "I don't know what to do."

"Well, you've always been a smart girl." Gwen shrugged.

"Not when it comes to guys."

Gwen sighed. "Everyone has their weakness, sweetie."

"He was supposed to be what makes me happy, not my weakness."

"I think you'll often find those are the same thing."

Charlie put her head in her arms on the table and Gwen watched as her daughter began to cry. She remembered when Charlie was younger and would spend the night crying over her father letting her down, not turning up when he promised he would. She didn't know if her daughter would ever have a man in her life that didn't let her down and have her cry into the night. Gwen walked over to her daughter and began stroking her hair.

"What am I going to do?" Charlie asked, turning her head to the side to look up at her mom. "I love him so much but he just keeps hurting me."

"Sweetie, I can tell you to forget him but as much as I hope you will listen to me and follow my advice but the only person who can decide what you're going to do is you."

"But I don't know what to do."

"And that's always been really difficult for you." Gwen nodded. "You always have to have the answer to everything but that's just not possible in these situations. You can only do what feels right."

"Nothing feels right. Being with him doesn't feel right and not being with him doesn't feel right."

"Honey, I can't really help you because I have no idea why things ended. I'm not saying that so you'll tell me, it's just…You do sometimes have a habit of overreacting to things."

"What?"

"I'm sorry but it's true. You can be a little sensitive."

"Is this because I get annoyed whenever you tell me you don't like my clothes?"

"No, although I am just giving my opinion." Charlie was about to reply but Gwen cut her off. "This isn't about your clothes. This is you being too quick in thinking that everyone is against you. People get things wrong, honey. They make mistakes or decisions that they end up regretting. It's not always a reason to give up on that person."

"He made me see dad again. He went behind my back and started meeting up with dad and then tricked me into seeing him."

Gwen nodded. "Ah. I had a feeling your father would fit into here somewhere, he was hardly in Virginia for any other reason. Sweetheart, you know your father and you know he works in life like he does in business. He plays dirty. If your father wanted to see you, he was going to use any tool, and I'm sorry but this Sheldon guy is a tool, to do it. He manipulates people."

"Sands isn't that easy to manipulate."

"Your father has had a lot of practise. He had perfected these skills before you were born. Sheldon may be good at working things to his favour but believe me, your father is better."

"You don't understand."

"No, I don't because you've never told me why you hate your father."

Charlie bit her lip. She couldn't tell her mother, not after all this time. But even Charlie had to admit, her mother had been hitting it out of the park these last few days, she was really saying and doing all the right things. But she couldn't. The bruises on her neck were enough to prove that. To Gwen, those had been the work of Harish Sharma. If Charlie started telling her the full story about Nathan Wyman, she could be putting her mother in danger.

"I caught him using again." She lied. "That's why we don't talk."

"I knew it." Gwen shook her head. "I've always said it and I knew I was right."

"Yeah, you got it spot on." Charlie nodded. "I don't want that around my life."

"I don't blame you, honey but your father wants you in his life, he'll do anything to make sure it happens."

Charlie thought about the man her father was still in business with.

"Not everything."

The next night, Charlie was in her office after working late again. She was standing at her desk arranging files with only the table lamp lighting the office. Even the cleaners had gone home, she was the last one left. Or so she thought.

"Pants, that's a change."

Charlie turned to see Sands leaning in the doorway, looking her up and down in her grey suit pants with matching fitted waistcoat and white shirt. "What are you doing here?"

"Crowley called me in that night I decked Thompson to give me this for when I come back." He held up a key. "I got my office back. Just finished moving in."

"Oh," Charlie tried to act like she was surprised. "That's great."

"I know it was because of you." He said.

"What? How?"

"Because Crowley doesn't give me a second thought when he doesn't have to and he only has to when it comes to you. He never would have given me an office if you weren't involved." He walked further into the office, closing the door behind him. "Thanks, sugar."

Charlie all of a sudden felt very vulnerable. "Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because you only call me that when you think you can."

"I do think I can."

"Well, you can't."

Sands got up close to her, making her press back against her desk. "That wasn't what you were saying last night."

"That…That was just that one time. It won't happen again."

"Yes, it will. I have to admit, I don't like it when we fight but I do like the fact that practically nothing changes except you give me a bit more of a challenge which on some level, I rather enjoy."

"Stop it, you're being too cocky."

"I can be very-"

"No, confident. You're being too confident." She said quickly. "Sands, I was down and I was lonely but what happened-"

"Will happen again." He smirked, flicking the button of her blouse.

"No, it won't. It…" She was feeling very hot all of a sudden. "It can't…"

"Why not?"

"Because…Because…"

_Goddamnit, why can't it happen again? Think of something! Anything!_

_He smells so good._

_No! Something else!_

"I think…" Sands smirked when she didn't finish. "That you want it to happen again but don't want to appear weak. You said we were over so we should be over but you just miss it."

"Miss the lies? The secrets? The snooping? Hardly."

"No, you miss the kissing; my hands on your body, the heat, the sweat, feeling things like you've never felt." Charlie could feel her chest rising and falling quickly at his words. "You know you want it."

Before Charlie could control herself, they were kissing passionately and Sands ripped off her waistcoat and throwing it to the floor before ripping her blouse open. Charlie unbuttoned his shirt and took it off him and Sands reached behind her to throw everything off her desk and place her on it. He climbed on top of her and his hand went to her legs.

"The one time you're wearing fucking pants…" He said annoyed, trying to get it off her quickly.

"Now you know what I'm always dealing with."

Sands managed to gets hers off and throw it to the floor.

"I gotta admit sugar, having sex with you on your desk has always been a fantasy of mine."

"Oh God, stop talking before I realise how much I shouldn't be doing this."

"Right."

* * *

"I can't believe I always judge Waitrose for doing this and I just did it."

"Well, in your defence it isn't office hours and the place isn't full of people right outside."

"Doesn't matter." Charlie was sitting on her desk, her legs hanging over the side, as she buttoned up her blouse. "I have to get off my high horse now. Damnit."

"Hey, when you're judging Waitrose, are you judging me too?"

"Yes."

"Hey!"

"I always judge you for having sex with Waitrose." Charlie got off her desk and picked up her pants, putting them back on. "Doing it in work just made it even tackier."

"Yeah well, welcome to the club."

Charlie huffed and threw his own clothes at him where he was lounging on her couch in his underwear. "Get dressed and get out of this office. You're not even supposed to be in here."

"In here? I christened the damn thing."

"We shouldn't have done this, not in work. Not in my office, on my desk."

Sands sat up and put on his pants. He stood up. "Who cares? I thought you'd like doing it as a fuck you to the CIA at least."

"Pick my stuff up and put them back on the table." She gestured to the mess on the floor and she buttoned her waistcoat.

Sands chuckled. "Yes ma'am. Forceful, I like it."

"You just like it because you can wear it down and prove you have power."

"It's fun fighting over which one gets to be dominant each day."

"Not anymore."

"Yeah, right." He scoffed as he positioned things on her desk. "This happened last time too. You hated me, we weren't together but still somehow, we ended up having sex nearly every night until we just got together again. I'm just waiting for the official terms again."

"What? Like boyfriend? You don't like that term."

"No, I don't. But I don't mind calling you my girlfriend so it's all good."

Charlie shook her head. "I'm going home."

"Want me to come? Again?"

"Stop. No. Goodbye."

Charlie left her office and hoped Sands wasn't too far behind her. She went straight home, hoping her mother would be asleep and not question her. When she walked through the door of her building though, it wasn't her family that ended up being a problem.

"Doctor Macintosh?"

Charlie noticed the security guard calling her over. "Yeah, Ralph?"

"See that girl over there?" He pointed to a young, blonde girl who looked much too young to be sitting on the floor of an apartment building's lobby on her own at this time of night. "She's been waiting for you all night. I didn't want to throw her out cause she doesn't seem to have her parents around. You know her?"

Charlie didn't but she walked over. "Excuse me?"

The girl looked up from her phone where she'd been playing a game. She put her hand to the wall to stand up from the floor. "Oh, are you Miss Macintosh?"

"Yes, I am. Who are you?"

"My name is Lucy Sands. I think you know my brother? I really need to see him."

* * *

**I put a picture of the closest I could get to the 'the new guy' or Dean Harper as he likes to be called on the tumblr for anyone interested. Also, looking forward to Lucy!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"You have a sister?"

Sands looked at her like she was crazy. "What? No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't have a sister."

Charlie looked into her apartment from the balcony. "Then who is the young girl currently sitting on my couch saying she's your sister?"

Sands stayed silent for a second. "She is?"

"Yes, she says her name is Lucy Sands, she's fifteen and she's your sister."

"They called her Lucy? Really?"

"What is going on?" Charlie frowned.

"When I left home, my mom may have been six months pregnant."

"May have been?"

"Was, she was six months pregnant."

"So you knew you had a sister?"

"Nope, never found out if it was a boy or a girl."

"What?"

"I wasn't really interested." He shrugged. "Have you ever seen me talking on the phone with family? I'm not really checked into those people anymore."

"So you just didn't try to find out if you had a brother or sister? Jesus, Sands."

"What? It's not like you know all the men your mom marries."

"I would know if my mom was pregnant!"

"Look, why is she here?" He asked.

"She said she needs to talk to you, won't say any more than that."

"Well, tell her to..."

"No, no, no. You're coming here and you're telling her. This is firmly between family."

"I can't talk to her. I don't know her."

"Neither do I!"

"But she's not expecting anything from you!"

"Sands, get over here. Now."

"Fine." He said, annoyed. He hung up the phone and Charlie walked back inside and over to the girl on the couch. Gwen was not in the apartment at all. Charlie had gotten her hopes up that her mother might have gone to a hotel and left her to get her bed back but her suitcase was still in the apartment so no luck. Where she went in Virginia though was a mystery.

"He's on his way."

"I thought he lived here?" Lucy asked.

"Uh, no. No, he doesn't."

"Where does he live?"

"Kinda far. Not too far." Charlie didn't really want to answer that question properly. After all, she couldn't just give out that information, to anyone. If the CIA and the past year had taught her anything, it was to trust no one. This girl didn't seem like a threat, she was small and thin with very long blonde hair tied back in a ponytail. She was wearing a white summer dress with red flowers emblazoned on it and leggings underneath with sandals and had multi-coloured pastel nail varnish on with glitter eye shadow and pastel pink lip-gloss. Hardly a threat. Still though, it wasn't her information to give.

"Are you his girlfriend?" The girl asked.

_Boy, you are asking a lot of questions._

"No." She replied, not even knowing if that was the right answer anymore. Less than an hour ago, they were having sex on her desk. "We're just…We work together."

"I heard you were dating?"

"Off who?" She asked a little too indignantly. She quickly caught herself. "I mean…Off who?"

"My sister told me."

"You have…Another sister?" Charlie asked. Sands told her he had two brothers. She was going to kill him.

"Well, my sister-in-law." Lucy explained. "My brother Wyatt's wife, Faith. He's my oldest brother, older than Sheldon. Then there's Darryl and then me."

"Darryl?" She frowned, not really seeing that name fit with the likes of Wyatt, Sheldon and Lucy.

"My mom told me that it was the only name my dad picked because he said the other two were such nerd names although Wyatt is so not a nerd. He doesn't even like to read. He didn't pick mine because I was a girl."

"Oh…" Charlie nodded. That just told her a lot about Sands' upbringing. "Is your other brother married?"

"No. He had a girlfriend, Hannah, for three years but they broke up last month."

"That must have been tough."

"Yeah, he's not really over it yet. A lot of girls have asked him out but he ain't interested. My mom says he could have the pick of any girl in Georgia but the only girl he wants is the one he can't have."

"Sorry, Georgia?" Charlie frowned.

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh…No reason."

_That's not what Sands told me. He said Tennessee._

_I am going to fucking kill him._

"Do you want anything?" Charlie asked, not knowing what else to say. "Something to drink maybe?"

_Don't offer her food, you'll kill her._

"I am kinda hungry."

_Damnit._

"It was my first time on a plane today but they didn't give any food. I thought they did that?" Lucy frowned.

"Not on short flights."

"Oh…"

"I could…Order pizza?"

"Okay."

"Okay…" Charlie walked over to where she kept her much needed take out menus and pulled one out, holding it out. "Here, pick one and I'll order it."

Lucy looked at the menu. "Uh, it's fine. Just order anything."

"Are you sure?" Charlie frowned.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Alright." Charlie went to the phone but stopped when there was a knock on the door. It wasn't his usual knock, it was just one. He obviously wasn't happy about coming over here.

"Is that him?" Lucy asked, sitting up.

"I think so." Charlie replied, going over to the door. She opened it and Sands walked inside, grabbing her arm without a word and pulling her towards the balcony doors.

Lucy stood up quickly. "Are you-?"

"Nope." Sands cut her off before pulling Charlie outside and closing the door. "What the hell?"

"She was here when I came home. What did you want me to do? Throw her out?"

"Yes! Say you've never met me and she needs to go home."

"I couldn't. She said she really needed to talk to you."

"I don't care. She has two other brothers to run to. I live in another state!"

"She wanted to meet you."

"Once again, I don't care."

"What if something's wrong?"

"She has two other brothers! And parents! Back home."

"Oh yeah, that's another thing," Charlie folded her arms. "Georgia? You're from Georgia? You told me you were from Tennessee."

"We moved when I was twelve, I consider myself from Tennessee because I liked it better there. Stop trying to make me in the wrong here, I didn't do anything! And I am not dealing with this."

"So you're not even going to listen to her?"

"She's not my problem."

"She is a young girl on her own in a place she's never been before and has no one else to turn to. What if she's in trouble?"

"That's what her parents are for."

"What if she can't tell them? What if they're the problem?"

"Then they're her problem, not mine."

"So this young girl, who obviously needs someone to help her, came here to ask you, her family, for help and you're going to turn her away and throw her out? Without ever really listening to what she has to say? You just don't care about helping her?" Charlie glared at him with folded arms. "Sounds familiar."

She walked back inside and Sands stayed still, debating with himself before walking inside too. Charlie turned to him.

"Do not compare me to your father."

"Then don't act like him." Charlie replied. "Go and talk to your sister."

Sands huffed and walked over. It was so much easier before when he didn't have Charlie acting as the angel on his shoulder. He used to only have the devil on his shoulder. He liked that guy. He stood in front of Lucy. "Alright, what's your deal?"

"I'm your sister."

"Yeah but why are you here?"

"You don't think it's weird that we've never met?"

Sands looked at Charlie. "Seriously? That's it?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go out to get pizza" She walked over to the door. "Be nice." She mouthed behind Lucy's back to Sands before walking out the door.

Sands turned back to the girl. "Listen, I don't have time to do the whole getting to know you thing so why don't I pay for your flight home and you can write me a letter. Or an e-mail. 'S quicker."

"I didn't come just to get to know you." Lucy admitted. "I do need help."

Sands knew that. "With what?"

"My dad- Our dad is sick, really sick. He has been for a while and everyone's doing everything that they can but-"

"But money's running slim." Sands nodded. "So you thought you'd make your way here and reconnect with the brother you never knew so he might be moved by your plight and fork out some cash for your daddy's mounting medical bills."

"He's your dad too."

"Hmmm," Sands grumbled. "So which one sent you here? Wyatt or Darryl? Or was it Clora herself?"

"Mom didn't send me and neither did Wyatt and Darryl. No one knows I came here. They think I'm staying at my friend Katie's house. Katie's parents think she's at my house but really she's with her boyf-"

"I don't care!" Sands cut her off, hearing too much of her voice and too little of anything that mattered. "Look, it's unfortunate that your family is going through problems but in case you haven't noticed, it has nothing to do with me anymore. I don't even know how you found me, let alone here."

"I saw your picture in the paper with her, at the ball."

"Her?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?"

"Doctor Macintosh." Lucy corrected. "I'm the only one who looks at those kinds of pictures in the paper, the ones with dresses and stuff."

"And you read that Charlie lived in Virginia and was Steven Macintosh's daughter so worth a lot of money."

"I didn't read that. I don't read the words. I just look at the pictures."

"How did you know it was me?" Sands asked.

"I've seen pictures of you before you left, when you were a teenager but I still wasn't sure so I asked Faith."

Sands looked at her suspiciously. "Why Faith?"

"Because you still talk to her."

Sands' eyes widened. "How do you know that?"

"No one else knows you guys still talk." Lucy reassured quickly. "Only me. She didn't tell me or nothing, I found out myself but she told me that when I told her I was going to find you with or without your help, she told me that it was you and that you were seeing someone. I figured it was her. No one else knows, I swear. No one even knows you're in Virginia."

"How did you find out where Charlie lived?"

"It was actually easy enough. I looked her- Doctor Macintosh up and one of those celebrity websites had a picture of her coming out of her apartment soon after that night you were with her. Some articles talked about how she had been living quietly here. Not here exactly, but this part of Virginia. I still wasn't sure of the exact address so I googled apartment buildings in Virginia but couldn't really find anything so I used google maps and after a lot of looking, eventually found it. Do you guys know you live super close to the CIA? That's cool. Do you ever see any spies around?"

"No, we don't."

"It's weird, I called the hospitals around here, pretending to be her sister Rachel's daughter, Alexis but she didn't seem to work in any of them."

"How did you find out about Rachel?" He frowned.

"On the Tethys Industries website. Doctor Macintosh's father's company invests in other companies and entrepreneurs and then usually get majority shareholder status in those companies while also running his own company. Mister Macintosh invested in a fashion company set up by Rachel Martin, the fashion designer, who it turns out is Doctor's Macintosh's sister which is why he did."

_Yeah, as a bid to get Charlie to talk to him, I bet._

"It's so cool that Doctor Macintosh is related to Rachel Martin, she's one of my favourite designers."

"Yeah, she's a prize…" Sands muttered. He had to admit, he was a little impressed with Lucy's sleuthing. On the other hand, he didn't like how easy it was to find Charlie just because of her family. "So, here you are."

"Here I am." Lucy shrugged. "I tried looking for you directly but couldn't find a thing."

Well, that was some consolation, he guessed. "Look, I know you travelled a long way and did a lot or work to even get here but seriously, there's nothing I can do."

"You could come home and see him."

"That's not going to happen."

"Why not?"

"Because I have work and a life here and if I didn't ever call or visit before, why do you think I'm going to start now?"

"Because our dad could be dead within a year."

"He could have been dead for the last ten years and I wouldn't have known and obviously, by the lack of contact, that was okay with me. I am done with the entire family, you included."

"But I'm your sister."

"We've never met!"

"That doesn't stop us being brother and sister."

"Look, you don't know me and I don't know you. If you think anything of me, that's the weird reaction. We may be related by blood but we're strangers. You gotta accept that. Our lives do not have anything to do with each other's. I get that you're young and don't know a lot about how the real world works yet but you're going to have to accept that you have a brother who you don't know and don't talk to. A lot of families are fractured; everyone gets on with their life. It's time you grow up a little and get on with yours."

Lucy stood up and nodded. "It was nice meeting you."

She turned and walked out of the door quickly. Sands sighed, running his hand over his face and going to sit on the couch. He was mussing up his hair when the door opened again. He turned to see Lucy walk back inside with red eyes.

"Kid, what did I just-"

He shut up when Charlie walked in behind her.

"Lucy, why don't you take a seat? I'm going to talk to your brother out on the balcony for a second."

Her expression and tone told neither of them to argue. Lucy sat down and Sands got up, walking outside where Charlie followed him.

"I was gone for five minutes." She said angrily when she closed the balcony doors. "I hadn't even left the building yet."

"What were you doing?"

"Waiting for you to screw up. Record time."

"Hey, don't put this on me. I didn't ask her to come here."

"No, you didn't but she's here and the least you could do is not make a fifteen year old girl cry. Why are you such an asshole to everyone? I mean, people in the CIA, I get. Me, I understand but why her? She didn't do anything but try to meet you."

"And take my money."

"Because your dad is sick."

"That's not my problem!"

"My dad taking overdoses and ending up in hospital isn't my problem but I was still there when he did it! I still called the ambulance and went with him to the hospital and waited! I still went by there every day to check up on him! Do you think I did it because I liked him? Or because I wanted him to appreciate it? I did it because it was the right thing to do! He's my dad! And that man is yours! I don't know what happened with your family or why you don't talk to them but that girl in there didn't do anything to you! She wasn't even born when you left! You have no reason to treat her that way!"

"If I go in there, will you please stop shouting at me?"

"Obviously."

Sands walked inside without a word and Charlie huffed.

"Kid, you are lucky that she is the only one who terrifies me." He said. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Lucy asked.

"Well, you can't stay here and you have nowhere else to go so I guess you have to come home with me, don't ya?"

"Really?"

"Yes now move it before she starts shouting at me again."

Later that night, Sands looked down over his railings to where his sister was sleeping on the pull-out couch. Buster was also curled up by the end fast asleep, unlike Sands. He wasn't even going to attempt it. Instead, he crept down the stairs and Buster raised his head.

"Babysit her until I get back." Sands said to the dog. "And don't let her touch anything."

The dog put his head back down but kept his eyes on Sands as he left the apartment.

Sands wasn't even sure why he was driving back to her place. He could say it was habit but really, it was to see what Lucy might have told her before he got there. He kept wondering if it was the right thing to do or even the right time the entire way over but he didn't turn around and couldn't when he knocked on her door.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned when she answered. "What are you doing here? I was asleep."

Sands' eyebrows shot up when Charlie answered the door in her robe but unlike when she usually wore it, it wasn't tightly tied and Sands could plainly see that she was wearing one of the short baby doll nightdresses he loved seeing her in. Mainly because it wonderfully showed off her assets and any fabric under the bralette was see-through and stopped just under her underwear so it showed off her legs, though her robe did cover that. He had no doubt though that she was wearing the matching underwear that accompanied the red negligee which meant one thing.

_She put that on especially to be seen._

_She knew I was coming back over._

_And prepared._

_Gotta love her._

"Sands? Are you going to talk or just smirk at me?" She asked.

Sands walked inside but kept his smirk. "Sorry, sugar."

"So, how's Lucy?" She asked, closing the door.

"Fine, I guess." He shrugged. "Buster is keeping an eye on her and next thing tomorrow morning, she'll be on a plane home."

"Are you going with her?"

"No but I'm giving her money which is what she wanted so you can't shout at me again."

"I wasn't going to. So you're just going to send her back without even trying to get to know her?"

"Well, she's going back because she's fifteen and she needs to go to school or whatever." Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What? That's a thing that teenagers have to do." He was met with more silence. "Come on Charlie, I can't have a fifteen year old running around. I don't want her here."

"Okay." Charlie shrugged, making the loose robe slide down her shoulder. "Is that what you came by to tell me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry; did I interrupt your sleeping?"

"Yeah, I was in bed."

"Yeah, that I don't doubt. Sleeping though? Come on."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You have sexy bed hair, not sleeping bed hair which makes me think you might have fashioned it that way yourself. Also, you're wearing make-up. It's light but it's there. Wouldn't bother taking it off?"

"What? I-"

"Not to mention the way you answered the door." He went on. "Without checking to make sure everything was…Put away."

Charlie looked down and drew the robe over her chest.

"You look quite nice." He complimented.

"It's just what I sleep in." She shrugged.

"No, it isn't."

"What?"

"When you don't expect me to come over, you wear pants and shit."

"What are you saying?" She asked.

"You were hoping I'd come back and dressed," His hands went to the robe and pulled it off her completely, letting it fall to the floor and pool at her feet. "Accordingly."

Charlie scoffed. "I did not do this for you."

"Sure." His hand went to the spaghetti strap of her negligee and inched it down her shoulder.

"I didn't!" She lied, pulling the strap back in place. She knew he was going to come back and her habit of sleeping in more attractive ensembles had completely come back to her. She hated herself for it but she did it anyway.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed, sugar." He smirked. "If you wanted to have sex with me again, all you have to do was ask."

He didn't actually expect it to happen without a bit more coaxing so when Charlie pressed herself tightly against him with her lips on his, Sands wasted no time picking her up and making his way to the bed. Their lips parted for a second when she took his long-sleeved t-shirt off over his head and threw it to where, Sands didn't even notice. His pants followed suit and when he was left in only his underwear, his hands dove under the fabric to touch her skin as his lips went to her neck. Charlie's head reclined against the pillow as her arms went above her head. She bit her lip when he slowly brought her underwear down her legs before he went positioned himself back up to face her.

"Your mother isn't coming back tonight, is she?"

"You're thinking of my mother right now?" Charlie frowned, her voice breathless.

"This is a position I'd rather not get caught in."

"No, she's out for the night."

"Good. You remember the rules, sugar?"

"I remember everything, Sheldon." She smiled mischievously.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were mocking me."

"You never know any better when it comes to me." She retorted.

"You're going to pay for that."

"God, I hope so."

"It's going to be long," He kissed her neck. "And arduous," He kissed the other side. "And you'll be begging me for some very much needed relief."

Charlie couldn't help but smile as his lips were inches from hers. She looked up slowly and Sands took the eye contact as an opportunity to capture her lips with his. Charlie's hands went from above her head to his hair as the kiss got deeper and his hold on her got tighter.

"I…I think that begging might start sooner than you expect…" Charlie said in a breathy voice when the kiss ended.

"Well, I aim to please." His kissing proceeded to travel down her body and Charlie grasped onto the pillow tightly when his hands went to her thighs. She let out a gasp when his lips descended between her legs and she closed her eyes.

"Oh God…"

His hands on her thighs tightened before making their way up to her hips. Charlie had to let go of the pillow and run her hands through her hair at the sensations, her moaning getting louder.

"Don't stop…Please, don't…" Her begging descended into nothing but sounds of utter pleasure. When her moaning stopped and she was panting, Sands got up and lay down next to her.

When Charlie got her breath back, she spoke. "Not to ruin things for myself, but that really didn't seem like punishment…"

"Well, I owed you from before we broke up. I think we're square now."

"Making foreplay a tit for tat situation was a great idea. Although," She said. "I was pissed when I thought I was going to miss out. Now that we're square, you can go." She slapped his arm lightly.

He frowned at her. "What?" He realised she was joking when he saw her smile. He rolled to settle on top of her. "You want to pay again?"

"Hmmm, sounds tempting but then I'd owe you and we'd just have to keep having sex."

"I see nothing wrong with this arrangement."

"We're not supposed to be having sex."

"And yet I really don't plan on stopping."

"I had a feeling."

"Just one? After what I just did, I would have hoped you'd have a myriad of feelings."

Charlie smiled. "Believe me; I'm really glad you owed me."

"Want me to owe you again?"

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "That's not how it works. We just do it to make each other happy, not to be owed in the future. The owing thing is just an incentive or else I'd never do it. You can't get something for nothing. Birthdays are an exception, if it's your birthday, you don't owe in the future."

"You are the strangest person I have ever met when it comes to these kinds of things, you know that?"

"What? I'm just trying to make things fair! These rules are put in place because-"

"You need to always follow rules, no matter what?" Sands asked.

"No, because-"

"You like controlling things?"

"No!"

"You don't like to specifically ask for it so you want to be comfortable in the knowledge that you're owed it so it's coming to you?"

"Get out."

Sands smirked. "Alright, tell me."

"No."

"Aw, come on sugar, don't be like that."

"You always make fun of me for not being as experienced in bed as you are. It's annoying."

"I'm not making fun of you, I love the way you are in bed." He kissed along her chest.

"Digging your head into my cleavage to apologise? Really?"

"Seriously, you want me to go down there again? Will that make you feel better? You won't even have to owe me, I promise."

"No! And you do mock me because I don't like certain words or-"

"In all fairness, you're a doctor. You should be able to say it."

"I never have to say that word as a doctor. Dentists do, I don't."

"Just say it, or-"

"Stop it!"

"It's just sex!" Sands defended.

"You can't stand certain words."

"Like what?"

"I've never heard you say his name. It's all Bobby, Billy, I heard a Bilbo once…"

"That's different. Oral never tried to murder you."

"Even before he did that. You've never said his name."

"I hate him."

"I'm not the biggest fan of that other thing either. Well, when it's me who has to do it. I quite like it when you have to do it."

"Are we ever going to have sex tonight?" Sands asked with a helpless expression.

"You started it, with your mocking me."

"I wasn't mocking you. I clearly like the rules and shit because I still beg you for sex, all the time. I just think we can be a little less strict about it. Although," His hand ran along her thigh. "I do like it when you're strict."

"Oh?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Mhmm. Anyway, I don't care how experienced you are compared to anyone else, you do everything just the way I like, better than anyone has before. Considering it's been over a year and I'm still hanging around, you gotta believe that, sugar."

Charlie smiled. "I guess."

"Even if you do need to get your ego stroked every once in a while."

"Look who's talking."

"I know something else that I'd like to get stroked."

"Charming."

"Sex doesn't need to be charming. It can really work any way we want."

"If that's the case, I," She sat up, pushing against his chest slightly and manoeuvred so she was straddling him, an arm around his shoulders. "Want to do it this way."

"Of course you do." He smirked, his hands roaming up her back and taking off her negligee.

"Well, it is my favourite."

"Can't say I hate it either." He replied as she lifted her hips and brought them back down, connecting them. Sands let out a hiss. "Nope, definitely do not hate it."

"Uh-huh…" Charlie moaned, clearly not even listening. Her eyes were closed and her brow was furrowed as if she were in deep concentration but Sands knew that look and knew she was enjoying herself too much to be concentrating on anything other than what she was feeling. "Oh God, Sheldon…"

Her forehead rested against his and Sands brought his hand up to cup her face. The soft light radiating off her skin made him want to kiss every inch. He couldn't believe that in the last two days, they'd slept together three times and he still wasn't completely happy about it, not until she trusted him enough to be back with him officially. He would give up anything for her to feel like she could be with him again but for the moment, he wouldn't dare ruin this for himself, not when it felt this good and not when she was this close. He couldn't resist leaving out her name as his pleasure rose and he watched her reach her peak. Seeing her face display what she was feeling and her chest rapidly rising and falling, hearing her breathy voice, being in this bed again which he had missed so much, he never wanted to leave. He never wanted to go back to his own apartment and deal with his real life and his annoying problems and his thankless job. He would have given anything or killed anyone to just stay here with her and lock the door for good.

"That was amazing…" Charlie panted when they were both satisfied and cooling down. She opened her eyes to look at him.

"Yeah…Yeah, it was."

Charlie swallowed and got off him going to lie on her back and Sands lay back next to her, putting his arm behind his head. She pulled up the covers to ward off the cold and turned to look at him.

"Doesn't this ever piss you off?"

"What?" He frowned.

"That I'll have sex with you but won't be with you?"

"Not anymore."

"Why not?"

"Sugar, it's not a coincidence that I stopped asking you to get back together that night in the park when you told me you didn't think being with me would make you happy."

"I said nothing would make me feel happy."

"Yeah so that's the point. I want you to want it, not just think it's easier. When you know it's what will make you happy, we can talk." He got up and started getting dressed.

"You're just leaving?" She asked, sitting up.

Sands smirked back at her. "I'm just going outside for a smoke, sugar. Remember your rule? And it's cold outside."

"Oh…Just go over by the window."

Sands raised an eyebrow. "I thought that wasn't allowed either."

She shrugged. "It's fine."

"Okay." He got up with just his boxers on and walked over to the window and turned back to her, lighting up as he leant against the window sill. "Gotta ask, how's everything going at work?"

"Fine." She reached down to pick up the nightdress and put it on over her head, also putting back on her underwear. "Crowley's thinking of postponing his retirement even more."

"Why? He's already postponed it two months."

"There's no official reason but I'm guessing the higher ups don't really have faith in anyone else."

"So no choice between Trevor and Waitrose yet?"

"Nope."

"How's your dad?"

She shrugged, not looking at him. "No idea."

"Haven't gone to see him again?"

"He's made it clear where his allegiances lie and I'm not going to force anything."

Sands nodded. He saw her fold her arms. "Cold, sugar?"

"I'm fine." She replied though he could tell she was lying. He put out the half-finished cigarette and closed the window before walking back to the bed and lying down on his side. "So, you have a sister."

Sands huffed. "I'd rather this didn't become a big thing."

"I said the same thing before you went on your last mission." She pointed out.

Sands sighed. "I have a sister."

"You don't even want to get to know her?"

"I don't talk to my family anymore, I told you."

"You still speak to your sister-in-law."

Sands looked up at her. "She told you that? Jesus." He rolled onto his back.

"You know your accent has started coming out more since you spoke with her?" Charlie pointed out.

"I can't help it but I'm going to have to. I do not want to go back to work sounding like this."

"Why? I like it."

Sands smirked up at her. "Oh, do you now? How much?"

"Why is your sister-in-law the only one you still speak to?"

"Jealous, sugar?"

"No. Just curious. Should I be jealous?"

"No, I've never done or felt anything like that for Faith."

"Then why-?"

"Just do."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"No."

"Because it's personal?"

"For her, not for me."

"Oh…" Charlie nodded though it made no sense to her. "Okay."

"Look, I know I've been letting slip about a different parts of my family lately and I know you think since I figured out everything about your secret, I should return the favour but there are some skeletons in my closet that I just don't want to touch."

"Well…"

"And I know Wyman was a skeleton you didn't want creeping out of your closet either but I never meant to drag that all up. I never wanted to do what I did even though I did it."

"Can I just ask you one thing?"

"What?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Charlie asked. "I mean, I know why I didn't tell you about my past and so do you, because I was so scared to talk about it and I still am but I don't think you're scared. I think you just don't want me knowing."

"I don't want anyone knowing."

"But from most of what you've told me, your family seems pretty normal."

"It's not. It's as fucked up as everyone else's."

"Do you have nieces and nephews?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Why?"

"Have you ever met them?"

"No."

Charlie looked down at him. "Do you think I'll see you differently if you tell me about your past?"

"I think you hope that my past will gain you some wonderful insight into why I am the way that I am and I think you'll end up disappointed."

"I don't care why you are the way you are. Against my better judgement, I like the way you are. I only ask these things because I would like to think you trust me enough to tell me the answers. It would mean something to me that I'm the first person you told these things to. I always thought you felt the same way about what I told you that night in the diner, after everything with Wyman came out."

Sands scratched his head. "I send her money every month."

"Who? Your sister-in-law?"

"Yeah?"

"Why?" Charlie asked.

"Because my brother beats the shit out of her."

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"Pretty much. He's your stereotypical redneck that drinks all day, won't get a job and beats the crap out of his wife."

"I don't mean this to sound how it's going to sound but why do you send her money?" Charlie frowned.

Sands shrugged. "Faith helped me get into college and without college; I wouldn't have gotten into the CIA."

"How did she do that?"

"When I got a scholarship to go to college, I needed to go for an interview but had no money to travel or for a place to stay. I had a part time job but as you might have realised tonight, any money that goes into that house belongs to everyone so saving wasn't really an option. Faith gave me the money to go, been paying her back ever since."

"Jeez, she must have given you a lot."

"Nope but without that money, I wouldn't have gotten to college so really, she paid so I could be here, right now. If she hadn't, I wouldn't be in this bed and you'd probably still be living it up with a psychopath."

"That was nice of her."

"When I came back home, she was in bad shape. Said she fell down the stairs but my guess is Wyatt didn't really like money going missing so you know, I really owe her and I'm good to the people I owe."

"Wow," Charlie lay down to rest her head on his chest. "Thanks for telling me, I guess."

"Wish you hadn't asked now?"

"No, although I do see you in a different light. A better one."

"Thanks, sugar."

"Do you need to be getting back?"

"Trying to throw me out now that you're done with me?"

"No, I just thought you wouldn't want Lucy awake and wandering around your apartment."

"The only thing Lucy will be wandering around when she wakes up is an airport. I gave her a place to stay for the night but I am not Mary Poppins, I don't tolerate anyone under twenty-five."

"Oh really?"

"Yes." He looked at her. "You're over twenty-five, right?"

"You know I am." She pushed him slightly.

"Yeah, well you super geniuses mature quickly."

"Hmm, I've been wondering how smart I am lately."

"Very, why?"

"Doesn't feel like it. I keep making mistakes and don't have the answers to anything lately. I'm not allowed perform surgery. Imagine that, the head of the surgical department can't even do surgery."

"That has nothing to do with how smart you are. No amount of brain could override PTSD."

Charlie smiled a little. "Your accent really is starting to come out more."

"Great. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not going back to work for another month and a half."

"Wait, month and a half? Shouldn't you be going back sooner?"

"Clocking Thompson added another month to my suspension. The footage beforehand of him hassling you was what kept me my job. I'm on thin ice though, my second strike; one more and I'm out."

"Wow. Well, Thompson got suspended too if that's any consolation."

"It really ain't."

"I'm sure things will work out."

"Oh really? I get caught here and I'm fired. We've gotten sloppy; neither of us can deny that."

"Then why are you here?"

He shrugged. "Feels better than being stuck at home."

"Crowley knows."

Sands got up, leaning on his elbows. "What?"

"He didn't tell me straight out but every time I made a complaint about someone harassing me at work, he would say that there'd be an investigation and would I want that? He knows we hook up. He just doesn't care. I think his bosses probably know too but as long as we keep it to ourselves and don't make it public, they'll let it pass. It's only a problem if you openly refuse to work because of me or something. When you can't, they don't care."

"So you knew that they knew about us and when I got into all that shit with your dad and Wyman and you wouldn't forgive me, you knew that they were doing it because they know we were together and were trying to put us in our place?"

"No, none of what happened changes because of this. We always knew the CIA was trying to turn me against you when all that happened. I was mad because you were standing in this apartment the day before you left and you didn't warn me of what was going to go down. You ambushed me with all this shit. That does not change because the CIA knew we were having a secret affair. They tested you and you didn't fail by their standards. If you had told me, you would have but you succeeded their little test and you failed me instead. That is what I can't forgive."

"And what if I had told you? Had failed them?"

"We would have worked it out. We've done it before."

"No, we haven't! We've never gone up against the CIA and won!"

"Armisen-!"

"Armisen was killed by the CIA! I didn't kill him and neither did you!"

"But you were going to!"

"But I didn't get the chance! The CIA did it for me which goes to show how they handle the people who go against them and brag about it! Armisen thought he was safe. When he got that bullet in the head, he was going on about how the CIA wouldn't touch him, how they'd choose him over me then some sniper showed him how wrong he was. Is that what you want? Me to risk pissing off the CIA anymore? They let us be because it didn't interfere with our jobs but if I had told you, it would have been a whole different ballgame."

"They wouldn't have known."

"You wouldn't have seen your father in a million years if you knew beforehand! Especially not with the threat of Wyman being there too. You not going would have given the CIA all they needed to know we were going against the mission, especially when they had ordered you too."

"They didn't, Trevor did. Crowley didn't even know about it."

"But who else did? We don't know. Trevor could have gotten his orders somewhere else. Like he said last year, he was not risking his job for us. Why would he risk it to piss us off?"

"I don't know."

"Neither do I because I don't think it was just him. Someone sent your father that information about me, someone who wanted you to hate me."

"Who would…?" Charlie stopped. "There's one person who wants us apart at the CIA, more than anything."

"There's a lot of people."

"Not who would care enough to foil a mission. Trevor didn't."

"Then who?"

"I'll give you a hint. Past fuckbuddy, hates me…"

"Wait, you think Waitrose sent him that stuff?"

"Who else would have the pictures? Who else would want to ruin me like that? She told you that I fucked Thompson for no reason other than she wanted you to hate me. She wants us apart and you free to be her bitch again."

"Okay, first of all, I was not her bitch."

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Moving on," He said quickly. "How do you know that Waitrose told me that?"

"Oh yeah, Melissa told me since you lied to me, saying you overheard guys talking. You ass."

"I knew if I told you she said it, you'd instantly use it as a reason to say the entire thing was a lie and I'd never know that Thompson tried anything."

"You practically killed me for not telling you, never mind that at the same time, you were palling it up with my dad!"

"The last thing your dad and I are is pals. You've never seen us interact but there's usually a lot of cursing and near punches."

"You two seem to have that rapport with everyone."

"If your dad had that with everyone, Wyman would be in jail now."

"But he's not and he's out there with a vendetta so could you stop bringing him up tonight?"

"Sorry."

"Thank you."

Sands sat up. "Maybe I should go."

"What? Why?"

"Because it was a good night so why don't we quit while we're ahead? We're just going to keep on fighting and making each other feel like shit again?"

"No, I don't want you to go." She grabbed his arm. "Not because he was brought up."

"Sugar, we were arguing before he was brought up. About a lot of the same things that we usually do."

"I'm sorry; I should have told you about what Crowley said before. I didn't think it would affect anything, he doesn't seem to care. But I do think Waitrose sent that information."

"I'll admit it, it sounds plausible." Sands agreed.

"I can't think of anyone else who would do it. Waitrose can't stand the fact that you and I slept together and since then, you won't sleep with her."

"Me and Waitrose weren't anything, why would she care so much?"

"Because she doesn't want you to want me more than her."

Sands sighed. "This is bullshit. Why can't people just leave us alone?"

Charlie bent her knees and wrapped her arms around them, placing her head on her knees and looked at him. "I don't know. All I know is that it's not stopping anytime soon."

Sands put his hand out and starting stroking her leg. "You never know, I may not be able to resist clocking another agent and find myself fired."

"I don't want that either. You'll never be happy."

"That'll make both of us then."

Charlie sighed. "I wish I could tell you you're wrong but I can't."

"Not even when we have sex?"

"There are small bursts that seem promising and I will admit, they usually come about when I'm with you but no, I wouldn't say I'm happy."

"PTSD is not the same as depression but you've overcome it once, you can do it again. If Wyman was dead or in prison, I'm sure you'd be okay. Especially if he was dead."

"I just feel like I'm not doing enough for myself because it's not gone yet."

"You're doing everything right."

"At least you think so."

"I know you better than anyone so I'm right. I'm always right, sugar."

Charlie had to smile at that. "You told me that after I was shot."

"And I was right then too. Here you are, safe and alive. You're perfectly capable of doing it again."

Charlie unwrapped her hands from around her legs and reached down and kissed him. Sands brought his hands to grasp her and pull her down to rest her body against his. She manoeuvred so he was between her legs and her body was flat against his, her hands flat on the mattress.

"Okay, after this, I really need to get back." Sands said.

"After?"

He grasped her tighter.

"Definitely after."

* * *

"You bitch."

Waitrose looked up at Charlie with a raised eyebrow when she stormed into the woman's office the next morning and so did Crowley who was sitting in the seat across from her desk.

"Is there a problem, Doctor Macintosh?" Waitrose asked.

"You sent my father that information about Sands." Charlie said, wanting Crowley to hear this too.

"Did I? And why do you think I did that?"

"The same reason you told him that I slept with Thompson which by the way is completely untrue. Your record is still intact."

"Doctor Macintosh, watch it." Crowley interjected.

"Oh sweetie, I'm not the one around here people call the office tramp." Waitrose fired back.

"Waitrose, you too." Crowley huffed.

"Not without lack of trying." Charlie said.

"Honey, why don't you find yourself an available man and get him to unwind you a little instead of focusing on something that happened a year ago like some over attached little stalker?"

"Oh, I would find a guy but I can't because they're all lined up outside your bedroom, waiting their turn."

"If that's the case, I take after your mother."

"Take after her? You're practically my mother's age." Charlie scoffed at her. "What's it like over the hill?"

"You little-"

"Ladies, stop it!" Crowley stood up. "Waitrose, sit down and get back to work. Macintosh, you're coming with me."

He began to walk out of the room but Waitrose spoke up again.

"How do you even know about that stuff being sent to your father?"

Charlie smiled back sweetly. "Oh, Sands told me when he was at my apartment last night."

Waitrose looked like she had a bad taste in her mouth which Charlie savoured before Crowley pulled her away.

"Macintosh, now." He said. They began walking through the corridors. "First of all, the first of many things, what was Agent Sands doing at your apartment last night?"

"It's not what you think," Charlie opted for the truth, well half-truth. "Agent Sands has a sister who went looking for him and wound up on my doorstep after seeing that picture of us in the paper. You know, I thought you people provided me with more animosity than that? A fifteen year old found my address."

"We'll take precautions to make sure something like that doesn't happen again."

"Anyway, I called Agent Sands to come get her."

"Why did she look for him? Does he have to go home? A family member after passing?"

"It turns out their dad is sick and she came to find him because the family is running out of money."

"Why doesn't he use his health insurance? It covers immediate family."

Charlie shrugged. "I didn't ask. While things were being uncovered, I figured out that Waitrose must have been the one to screw up Sands' mission with my father. That wasn't just screwing with me, that could have cost Sands' his job."

"And how do you know it was Waitrose?"

"Because for the last year, she's been badmouthing me to him. This was just another trick. You know what; I wouldn't be surprised if she was the one who leaked those photographs."

"Be that as it may, you cannot go around this office, shouting and calling out other workers without any proof." Crowley said.

"I know it was her."

"Proof?"

Charlie huffed. "I don't have any."

"Then get some and then this matter can become official."

"How do I do that? I doubt she signed the letters to my dad."

"She wouldn't have to. Nothing in this agency is random. Every piece of printer paper you get is embossed with an invisible code and every code has a name attached to it in the computers. If you can get the letter, we can check the code and run it back to the printer it came out of. If it's a public one, there'll be video footage and if it was a private one, we'll know whose office it came from by the code. These things are easy to figure out just so things like this don't happen."

Charlie was shocked. "I never knew that."

"Barely anyone does. It would defeat the purpose of tracking our employees if we told them how to avoid it. Get the letter and we'll sort it."

"How? It's in California, in my dad's possession."

"Ask your father to send it to you."

"I don't speak to him."

"If you want this to be taken care of, you will."

Crowley walked away and Charlie sighed.

* * *

"How can there be no fucking flights?"

Sands looked at the laptop screen in frustration. The flight from Virginia to Georgia and vice versa was a weekly occurrence. It would be another six days until the next flight. Six days until he could get his sister out of the state.

_Unless I put her on a train._

_I could put her on a train._

Sands perked up at that. He looked for times and found a train leaving Virginia tonight.

"Perfect."

Or so he thought.

"You can't put her on a train by herself!"

"Why not?"

"Because it is dangerous." Charlie frowned when she called him later that day and told him about Crowley's instructions. After asking about Lucy, Sands had told her his plans and she was not very eager to agree. "You are putting a defenceless fifteen year old girl on a train in the middle of the night by herself for nearly nine hours. What if something happened to her? Everyone would be asleep; no one would notice some scumbag sidling up to her."

"She'll be fine. What's the difference between getting a plane and getting a train?"

"Time, the fact that a plane has air staff, buttons you can press to get people straight to your seat for any reason, more enclosed spaces so people around you are closer, basically a load of different things that make it safer for an unaccompanied child to go on a plane instead of a train. Think, Sands!"

"She can't stay here for the next six days!"

"You. Cannot. Put. Her. On. A. Train. I am tempted to go over there just to try and bash that thought into your head."

"I am not keeping her here for six days."

"God, you seemed pretty decent last night and today, you're an asshole again. Is being nice a nocturnal thing for you or something?"

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to keep her!"

"I have my mother living with me! Tell me which one you'd prefer?"

"Fine, you got me there but still, you get to go to work, I have nowhere to go this week. If I have her in my apartment and you have your mother in yours, where are we supposed have sex?"

He heard a click and beep on the other end.

"Charlie?"

A few hours later, Sands found himself at the end of his rope. He had told Lucy that she'd be staying with him for the week after deciding that he wouldn't put her on a train. He was regretting that decision now because since he'd told her, she hadn't shut up. As he lounged on the couch and read with Lucy sitting in the armchair and watching television, he contemplated jumping over the balcony if she kept going.

"So, have you met Charlie's sister?"

"Doctor Macintosh and yes, I have."

"What's she like? She looks so glamorous in pictures of her runway shows."

"She's okay." Sands lied.

"Does Doctor Macintosh have any of the dresses?"

"I don't know, probably."

"Do you think she'd let me see them?"

"You'd have to ask her."

"Is she going to be around at all?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you two were friends?"

"We are."

"So couldn't you ask her?"

"I guess."

"Will you?"

"I doubt it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's intrusive."

"Intrusive?"

"It means it's butting into her business without invitation."

"But if she's your friend, I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"I'm sure she wouldn't." Sands clutched his book tighter.

"So you can ask her. If I told all my friends that I actually saw some of Rachel Martin's dresses with my own eyes, they'd be so jealous! It'd be great!"

"Why do you want to make your friends jealous? They're your friends."

Lucy frowned. "Huh?"

"Why would you want to do that to your friends?"

"Because…I don't know. I just would really love to see those dresses."

"She might not even have any."

"But she might."

"Maybe."

"Oh my God, maybe she knows what's coming up in the new collection! That would be amazing, if I saw those first. I'd know exactly what colours are going to be big and-"

"Lucy!" Sands said after his prayers for the sweet release of death went unanswered. "If I call her and ask, will you please shut up about it?"

"I guess."

Sands got up to get his phone. He frowned when a knock erupted at the door. Thinking it was Charlie; he didn't bother checking the peephole before opening it and filled with dread when it wasn't Charlie but Gina Waitrose on the other side with a bottle of wine in her hand.

"Hello lover."

"Don't call me that."

"Well, the night is young," She breezed into the apartment before Sands could even fathom. "I'm sure I can come up with something…else…." She droned off, seeing Lucy sitting on the chair. "Who are you?"

"I'm Lucy." The girl replied. "Sheldon's sister. Are you his girlfriend?"

Sands walked into the apartment. "No." He answered before Waitrose could. "She was just stopping by to show me her very nice wine bottle and now she's going to leave and go home again, aren't you?"

Waitrose smirked at him. "Well I don't know," She turned back to Lucy with a smile. "It's not every day you meet the sister!"

Lucy smiled at that.

"No, Lucy and I…Have plans tonight…and tomorrow. The rest of the week actually." Sands made up.

"You do?" Waitrose asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We do?" Lucy asked, excitement evident.

"Yes, we do." Sands was pretty stuck now. "So sorry about that but it's a brother, sister thing."

"I understand." Waitrose smirked. She walked to the door but not before passing close by him. "Call me when you're free, handsome."

"Yeah, that'll happen." Sands said sarcastically as she walked out the door.

"So what plans did you have in mind?" Lucy asked with a bright smile.

Sands looked at her with a hopeless expression.

* * *

"This don't seem like a brother, sister outing. It just seems like I'm walking your dog around the park while you sit on a bench and read the paper." Lucy said as she came around to him again.

"Of course it's a brother, sister activity. It's my dog you're walking, ain't it?"

"I guess." Lucy shrugged, guessing she should be satisfied that he'd finally come through with the "plans" he'd spoken about last night. His idea of plans then was dinner which Lucy had pointed out that Waitrose could have stayed for but Sands quickly muttered a denial and made her drop the subject. Then this morning, he'd run off to where she assumed was work though it was really his routine eye appointment which he had pushed up and then doing anything but going home. After an hour of nagging about his promise though, he had finally relented. This wasn't what she had expected. "Was that lady your girlfriend?"

"Who?"

"The one who came by, with the wine the other night."

"No." Sands said, stern. "She's not anything."

"But she seemed to want to stay. She acted like your girlfriend."

"Acting and being are two different things. She is most definitely not my girlfriend."

"So she ain't your girlfriend and that other woman-"

"Doctor Macintosh, how hard is that for you to remember? You know the woman's address and entire family history; you could at least remember her name. And don't call one a lady and the other 'woman'." She even got the order wrong about who was the lady there.

"Doctor Macintosh, sorry." Lucy huffed. "Anyway, Doctor Macintosh ain't your girlfriend and the other lady ain't your girlfriend, do you even have one?"

"No, I don't. Char- Doctor Macintosh is a friend; the other woman is a co-worker who likes me more than I like her, end of story."

"Do you want Doctor Macintosh to be your girlfriend? You went back to her place the night I got here."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"How would you know?"

"I just do."

"Well, you don't."

"I do."

"Buster, squirrel!" Sands said excitedly and the dog ran off, dragging Lucy with him.

"Buster, wait!" She yelled as he tore down the path and she ran after him, her wrist still attached to the lead. Sands watched as she managed to run at a comfortable pace and the two seemed fine before going back to his newspaper. "Damn kid."

He had been reading for a while when he turned the page and found yet another expose on 'The Avenger'. He read through it, wondering what the newest theory was about the killer while still keeping his own theory in the back of his head.

_It can't be him. Charlie made a lot of good reasons._

_Charlie wouldn't want to accept the truth._

_He knows where she lives and hasn't used it to his advantage yet. Why take those girls instead of her?_

He kept reading the article and eventually, the descriptions of the victims came up again. Blonde hair, attractive young girls, snatched when no one was looking. He read about the first woman snatched and was reading about the second, the youngest of the victims at eighteen, who had been snatched while jogging. Sands looked up from the paper and noticed the park was after emptying while he was in his own little world and there were now only one or two people walking around with evening setting and darkness looming. He looked down at his watch and realised that there'd been no sign of Buster or his sister for at least twenty minutes.

_Where is she?_

"Lucy?"

He got up from the bench and began walking along the path he'd seen her and Buster run along but there was no sign.

_Why are there so many trees covering this path? It's like they're begging for crimes to happen here._

"Lucy!"

He was walking quicker now, looking through the trees and around the park frantically.

"Buster? Here, boy!" He waited and cursed when there was no bark or no Buster to be seen. "Lucy!"

"Sheldon?"

He heard her voice and turned to walk towards it quickly, through the trees to find her picking leaves.

"What the hell?" He asked angrily. "Did you not hearing me calling you? Where the hell were you for this long?"

"Relax; I got stung by some nettles when I was running after Buster so me and him went to go find some dock leaves to take away the sting. I just found some, look." She showed the leaves in her hand before rubbing them against her leg where her skin had become red with white bumps. "Much better."

"Don't do that again." He said, his heart rate turning back to normal. "What is with you and running off? You run away from home to find me and then you run away from me? Why can't you just stay where you are?"

"I didn't think-"

"It is dangerous, Lucy! What if someone else found you before I did? What would you have done then?"

"I have Buster with-"

"You shouldn't count on a dog to save you when there's no reason to put yourself in danger anyway!"

"I'm sorry." She said, looking downtrodden. "I didn't mean to do anything wrong."

"Well, think next time! God, it's not too hard!"

"Okay…" She pouted, looking like she was trying not to cry. She walked past him with Buster and went back onto the path.

Sands huffed and rolled his eyes.

_Great._

* * *

"Hello?"

"I got scared today."

"Really?" Charlie frowned, hearing Sands' voice leave out that confession on the other end of the phone. "Why?"

"I was at the park with Lucy, making her walk Buster and I was reading about that Avenger guy in the newspaper and before I knew it, I'd lost track of time and lost her."

"Did you find her?"

"Eventually but I wasn't expecting to be that worried."

"Well, you'd just read about a guy who kidnaps blonde girls while they're alone, it's only natural you panicked."

"I made her cry."

"I would expect nothing less."

"I shouted at her for scaring me and made her cry."

"Which is a reaction a lot of people have. Where is she now?"

"Taking a shower though I really think she just wanted to cry in private, you know, since I made her cry."

"Sands, she's a fifteen year old girl, everything makes her cry."

"She needs to leave."

"Wait, why?"

"I can't have worrying about her on my plate too. It's only been three days and if this is what it's going to be like, she needs to go."

"Sands, it's completely natural to be worried like that. It doesn't make you weak." Charlie tried to convince.

"The only person I've ever felt that scared for is you." Sands admitted. "I don't want anyone else that close to me, to make me that vulnerable."

"She's your sister."

"And I can't allow that to compromise anything."

"You don't have a choice. You can't help how you feel."

"You did. You got rid of me."

"Hardly and anyway, that doesn't mean I don't care about you and worry about you. That will never go away."

"I know you think it's stupid but one of the reasons I panicked is because I still have a thought that this Avenger guy might be your ex and if he saw me with a young, blonde girl, he'd snatch her just to torture me."

"That's not stupid. I just can't agree."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to believe it."

"Yeah well, I do and I can't let it be used against me. I can't care if she goes missing for five minutes or if I make her cry or whatever, I can't do this. Not on my own…Which I am. I'm on my own here, don't know what to do. I could use help but I don't have any."

"Sands, do you want me to come over?" Charlie frowned.

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

* * *

"See? She's fine."

Charlie indicated to where Lucy was sitting on the floor and playing with Buster while Sands and Charlie stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner. Well, he was. She was dealing with the plates which were the only things Sands trusted her not to set on fire.

"I still think she shouldn't be here." He said quietly. "I can't afford this."

"Sands, you panicked because you thought some murderer had taken off with her. You should have had that reaction for anyone. It doesn't mean you're getting close to your sister."

"That may be the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

Charlie half-smiled at him but her eyes told him she wasn't amused. She turned down to look down at Lucy. "So Lucy, your brother was telling me that you like my sister's clothes."

"Oh my God, definitely. I love them. Do you have any?"

"Actually, I do. Why don't you come by to see them tomorrow? If it's okay with your brother." She smirked at Sands.

"Really?" She beamed. She looked at Sands. "Can I?"

"I don't care." He said casually.

"That means yes." Charlie interjected.

"Yay!"

"She says yay," Sands muttered. "Not sarcastically."

"Shut up." Charlie muttered back. "Where's Buster's dog food or are you not going to trust me with that either?"

Sands pointed to the bag and Charlie walked over to dish it into his bowl. At the sound, the dog jumped up from his belly rub and went to his food.

"I always wanted a dog," Lucy said, watching him go from her spot on the floor. "But dad would never let me. Mom said that you always wanted one too though," She looked at Sands. "She said it's strange how two people who've never met can be so alike."

Sands looked out from the corner of his eye to see Charlie smirking. "That better be because you got me a dog and not the other thing."

"When I got you the dog, you said you didn't want him."

"I said I didn't want a guide dog. I've always wanted a dog."

"And I got one for you. Hmmm, I guess you could say it was the nicest thing anyone's done for you, making your childhood dream come true like that."

"You made a lot of my adult dreams come true too, sugar." Sands grinned back.

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm."

That usually would have been the point in the conversation when they kissed but an interruption put a stop to that.

"What are you two doing over there?"

The two snapped out of their own little world and Charlie looked over at Lucy.

"I was just asking your brother where the glasses are." She made up.

"Top shelf, behind you." Sands replied.

She nodded, going to get them and felt a hand creep under her shirt as she reached up.

"Just getting forks." He smirked, opening the cutlery drawer with his other, free hand.

Charlie got the glasses and stopped reaching, turning to him. "Stop it."

"Stop what? We need forks."

"What we don't need is your sister catching you feeling me up. Unless you want her to go home with a few stories to tell the rest of the family."

"Fine, I'll keep my hands to myself. For now." Charlie looked at him tiredly. "What? She's got to sleep some time."

She had to smile before walking back over to the counter.

"Hey Charlie, did you ever have a dog?" Lucy asked.

"Uh no, my mom said I was too busy to take care of it. She was probably right though."

"But you wanted one?"

"Yeah, I think every kid does."

"I'd just like a pet. I'd even be happy with a bird or something, just something to take care of."

"That's teen pregnancy talk." Sands muttered, coming up behind Charlie and getting an elbow in the ribs because of it.

"Yeah, a bird would be nice." Charlie nodded. "When I was twelve, all I wanted was an owl."

"An owl?" Lucy frowned.

"Seriously?" Sands looked at her.

"What? I was twelve." She defended. "And owls are cute. They don't work well in closed captivity though so I didn't get one of those either."

"Or maybe because it was an owl." Sands shrugged.

"Owls are…You know what, I don't have to explain being a twelve year old to you."

"No, you do not."

"What? Like you never had some weird dream when you were twelve."

"Oh yeah," Lucy laughed. "My mom says that when he was a kid, he always wanted to be some super-secret agent spy man."

"Yeah, how crazy…" Charlie agreed, half-heartedly as she looked at Sands who kept his mouth shut and his eyes on the counter. "Well, I think the food is ready."

"Cool." Lucy stood up to walk to the counter, not realising the tension of her previous comment.

"Kid, you were just feeling up a dog, wash your hands." Sands frowned.

Lucy stood quickly and went to the sink. Sands shook his head and turned to see Charlie smirking at him again.

"What? Being hygienic is just good sense." He defended.

"Okay."

They were in the middle of sorting the food out when Sands' phone went off.

"One second." He said, walking over to get it and brushing his hand along Charlie's waist on his way. He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

Charlie tried to keep Lucy talking while Sands was on the phone. "So Lucy, what's your favourite subject in school?"

"Uh, I don't really like school." She replied, going back to sit on the other side of the counter. "I mean, I do, I really like history and stuff but I'm not very good at it. I'm not very good at any subject except Home Ec and that's only because of my mom."

"Your mom a big cook?"

"Oh yeah, before I came here, I'd never even eaten take out."

Charlie frowned. "Really?"

"Yup. Every day at five p.m. on the dot, you sit at the table and eat what's in front of you. No exceptions."

"Wow, well I guess it's a good way to spend some family time." Charlie said, looking over at Sands and realising even more how much he didn't fit in with those people. He must have been completely suffocated.

"Yeah, I guess…"

Charlie looked down at the plates in front of her. "Here, why don't you take yours and-?"

"No."

"What?"

"You can't start eating until everyone is ready. We'll just wait until Sheldon gets off the phone."

"Oh, okay. Do you-uh…Say Grace?"

"Of course, don't you?"

Charlie didn't even think she could recite the whole thing. Was Grace a particular set of words even? Did you just say whatever you felt like? She knew from television that it usually consisted of be thankful for the food but could you put your own spin on it?

_I gotta look that up._

The two looked when Sands hung up his phone.

"I gotta run into work."

"Really?" Charlie asked. "Now?"

Sands knew that 'now' meant 'still during suspension' but she couldn't say it. He nodded as he grabbed his jacket. "I'll be back soon, I promise." He said to her as he pressed a quick kiss to her lips out of habit. When they realised what they'd just done without thinking, they looked at a beaming Lucy.

"I knew you two were together."

"Look, kid…" Sands began but Charlie stopped him.

"Just go, I'll…Just go."

Sands huffed and walked out the door, leaving Charlie to deal with a still smiling Lucy.

"I knew my brother was crazy about you. He only smiles when you're around."

"Look, it's not what you think. Me and Sa- Sheldon, we're not together."

"He just kissed you."

"Yes, he did. To be honest, we were together but we're not anymore and we haven't been for a long time." Charlie decided to stick with the ending of their relationship in Turkey, before the affair, just because it was a lie she had to tell everyone. "That kiss was just more habit out of anything else."

Lucy's smile dropped. "Do you think you'll get back together?"

"I don't think so."

"Well then, why are you here?" She asked, getting angry. "Why are you around him when you don't even want to be with him? That just hurts him!"

"Lucy, it's complicated…"

"How? Either you're together or you're not, you can't have it both ways!"

"Your brother and I are still friends."

"Not to him! I see the way he looks at you. You play up to it, you like that he looks at you that way."

"No, it's not like that at all."

"Of course it is. I'm not stupid! People think I am but I'm not!"

"I don't think you're stupid, Lucy." Charlie frowned.

"I'm not! And I know that my brother deserves better than someone who doesn't even want him! He won't even move on. He threw that other lady straight out and she seemed really nice and I bet he did because of you."

Charlie was curious about that. "What other lady?"

"The pretty one, wearing the black suit with red hair, natural red hair."

Charlie was beginning to get angry herself and not because of the immature swipe about her hair from the fifteen year old. "Big lips, smoky eyes? Side-swept bangs?"

"Yeah and she seemed real nice."

_Waitrose._

"Yeah, she's great." Charlie grabbed her bag and her jacket. "Lucy, when your brother comes back, tell him I had to go."

"Fine."

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked out of the apartment.

_He should have put her on the train._

* * *

**I know this was a super long chapter but I have to admit, I did like taking Sands out of his element and manoeuvre how he'd work in this type of scenario, hating that he was adapting to it. For some unfathomable reason, I couldn't not write him trying to instil manners in Lucy. I don't know why, it just seemed like such a small, inconsequential thing he'd focus on instead of the bigger problems at hand.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_There better be some food left._

Sands walked back into his apartment. "Where's Charlie?"

"She left." Lucy said who was still waiting for Sands to come back to start eating.

"Left, why?"

Lucy shrugged. "Just did."

Sands wasn't buying it. "Did something happen?'

"Like what?"

"Did you say something to her?"

"Why do you assume it was me and not her?"

"Because I know her."

Lucy shrugged. "I just don't understand why she stays around you if you two aren't even together."

"Christ, Lucy!" He said angrily. "What did you say?"

"Just that! She said she broke up with you a long time ago but she still won't leave you alone."

Sands raised an eyebrow. "Did she say we broke up or she broke up with me?"

Lucy was silent.

"Lucy?"

"She said you two broke up."

"And why is it not possible that I ended things with her?"

"I didn't think..."

"No, you didn't! You had no right to say anything to her! Did you not see us a while ago? I obviously like having her around!"

"But..."

"No!" Sands cut her off. "You know what; you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her. She made me come see you, she made me listen to you, she made me give you a place to stay and she made me not throw you onto a train and forget you existed! I didn't want to, she convinced me because she was being nice to you! She's never not been nice to you! Why did she even leave? What did you say that could have made her do that?"

"She left when I told her about the other woman who came by here."

Sands was tempted to throw her out and let her find her own way home. He was really tempted. Instead, he turned and began to leave.

"Where are you going?" Lucy asked.

"I'm going to bring her back and when I do, you are going to apologise and promise to keep your mouth shut from now on!"

"I was just trying to help you!"

"Well, you failed!"

Sands got back into his car and drove to Charlie's place, hoping she'd let him in. As it turned out, he got lucky.

"I had a feeling I'd be seeing you soon."

"I did nothing with Waitrose." He said,

"Okay."

"You need to believe me."

"I do." Charlie nodded. "You're capable of a lot of things but doing Waitrose with your sister in the apartment is not one of them."

"It's not because Lucy was there! It's because I don't want anything to do with Waitrose." Sands defended. "I would have thrown her out with or without Lucy there! I don't even know why she came to my place. I haven't even seen her since she lied to me about you. I didn't say anything to you because I didn't see the point. I am going to kill Lucy!"

"Don't blame her. She's fifteen and not even a mature fifteen year old. She's more obsessed with looking at pretty dresses than boys and can't break a rule even when her parents aren't in the state. And she adores you. She loves that she has a big brother who she's never met."

"She has two others."

"Yeah and one is a drunk. From what she's been saying, she's spent her whole life hearing about how alike you two are. She thought she was helping. She's a teenager; her emotions are all over the place."

"That doesn't justify her speaking to you that way."

"I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"Then why did you leave?"

Charlie sighed. "Because she was right. I broke up with you and since then, all I do is hang around you and remind you that we're not together. It's wrong of me to do."

"I asked you to come over."

"I know but..."

"Charlie, I asked you to come over because you're the one person I trust to help me with this. I really can't have you bumming out because the fifteen year old got things wrong."

"But she wasn't wrong."

"I liked the way we were a while ago."

"Even though you were apparently throwing longing looks my way that I ignored?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? She does realise we're not characters from a Nicholas Sparks novel, doesn't she?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "How do you know what goes on in Nicholas Sparks novels?"

"Will you come back to my place?" He asked, glossing over that quickly.

"I don't know."

"I'll try curbing my longing gaze if it helps." He said sarcastically.

Charlie smiled.

"Will you just come back?"

"Maybe it should be just you and her tonight."

"I want you there."

Charlie sighed. "Fine."

They went back to his apartment to find Lucy sulking on the couch. Sands wasn't entertaining the bratty behaviour one bit.

"Don't you have something to day?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Charlie waved her hand.

"I still think I'm right though."

"Jesus, Lucy!"

"What? It's true!"

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Gotta…Floss…" Charlie made up as she felt Sands wanted to talk to Lucy alone. She walked inside and closed the door, pressing her ear against it.

What is the point of you two being around each other?" Lucy asked.

"Because I like having her around!" Sands said. "So you cannot talk to her that way!"

"I'm just telling the truth."

"You're not because you don't know the truth. Even if the two of us aren't together, I like having her around. She is my favourite person."

Charlie smiled as she heard that.

"Now, will you be nice?" Sands asked.

"I guess."

"Lucy, you are not doing this for me. If you were, you'd do what I asked. You're doing it because you're trying to throw me into some mould you've created in your head of what I'm going to be like and you're getting bratty when it doesn't work out. Stop it."

"Fine. I'll be nice."

"Good. You should be."

Charlie felt like this could be her cue to come out. She opened the door and left the bathroom.

"I am sorry, Charlie." Lucy said much to Sands' relief.

"It's okay."

"Can I still see your sister's dresses?"

"God Damnit, Lucy!"

* * *

"I cannot believe you own this movie."

"What? This is a good movie."

"Not everyone thinks so." Charlie smiled, nodding her head to behind Sands. He looked behind him to see Lucy curled up on the other end of the couch, fast asleep. Sands huffed. "Damn kid doesn't appreciate taste."

"Hmm." Charlie smiled, rearranging herself on the couch a little, feeling a cramp coming to her calf as her legs were bent in front of her on the couch.

"Sore legs, sugar?"

"Just need to stretch."

Sands grabbed her legs and made them lie across his lap which he left his hands resting on until the film was over. He flicked the television off with the remote before looking over at Charlie to see her asleep too. He shifted slightly to get up from under her legs and stood to pick her up. He carried her upstairs and placed her on the bed. She snuggled into the pillow as Sands got in next to her, not sure how close he could get.

_Please don't kill me when you wake up._

A few hours later, Charlie stirred and opened her eyes. She looked around with a frown before realising she was in Sands' apartment. She looked behind her to see Sands sleeping behind her.

"Sands." She whispered, shaking him slightly.

He jumped awake. "What?"

"No, it's okay. I'm just going to go."

"What time is it?"

"About four."

"How are you going to leave? I drove you here."

"I'll get a cab."

"Where? It's four in the morning."

"It's walking distance."

"No, definitely not. I'm bringing you home."

"No, I don't want to disturb you."

"Then stay."

"I don't think it'll make sense to Lucy if she wakes up and I'm in your bed."

"She'll be fine."

"I don't know…"

"Please stay."

Charlie sighed. "Okay." She got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm just getting out of these clothes."

"I was going to but I didn't feel real good taking off your clothes while you were asleep."

Charlie smiled a little before unbuttoning her shirt and taking off her suit pants so she was left in her underwear and a black string top. She climbed back into the bed and closed her eyes.

"I'll try and be out of here before Lucy wakes up."

"That might be a good idea."

The next morning, Sands woke up to a very pleasant feeling which in his first few minutes of consciousness, couldn't quite figure out.

"Uh, Sands?"

The voice woke him properly and he opened his eyes to realise he was embracing Charlie with her back right up against him, her body moulded to his. The pleasant weight in his right hand was explained when he realised he had his hand under her top.

"Oh, sorry." He went to take his hand away."

"Don't." Charlie said quickly. "I…I mean, you don't have to…If…"

Sands smirked but kept his hand where it was. "Okay." He tried his luck and began moving his hand slowly, massaging her breast. He was satisfied when she moved slightly as if to get more comfortable and her eyes closed.

She turned to face him and Sands pressed his lips against hers passionately, pressing her back against the bed. Her hands ran through his hair as his hands slipped down to her thighs. Charlie pulled away quickly.

"Stop. Lucy."

"Oh shit." He took his hand away quickly and they waited to see if they could hear anything. Sands got up quietly and walked over to the railings before looking down. He turned back.

"She's still asleep."

Charlie got out of the bed quickly and got dressed.

"Come on, I'll drive you home." He said, walking over and getting dressed.

"No, you don't have to."

"Well, I'm doing it so…"

Charlie smiled at him.

They crept down the stairs and out the door. Once they were in the hallway, Charlie put on her shoes. "It's weird sneaking out in the morning."

"Especially since we didn't even have sex." He said as they walked to his car.

"I can't believe we forgot Lucy was there."

"It's early; we're not at full capacity yet."

"So we really shouldn't decide to have sex."

"Oh come on, it's not like we were going to come away from it thinking it was such a big mistake. We're barely going a day without sex as it is."

Charlie sighed. "God, we are so weak."

"We? I want to have sex; I'm not trying to resist it."

"Fine, I'm so weak."

Sands drove her home and walked her up to her front door.

"Thank you for the drive home. And for letting me crash in your place."

"Thank you for coming back last night."

Charlie smiled. "Don't be too hard on her. She's just protective over you. It's cute."

"It's annoying."

"I'm sure you two will be fine. You're a good brother for letting her stay."

"I only did because you asked."

"Still."

"I better get back before she wakes up."

Charlie leaned in and pressed her lips against his. It wasn't like their recent kisses where they'd been overcome with passion but instead it was like the old ones he used to get. He was only now realising how much he'd missed these kisses.

When they parted, Charlie smiled. "I'll see you later."

"See you, sugar."

He turned and walked back into the elevator and Charlie walked inside, still smiling.

"From that smile, I'm guessing you weren't called into work."

Charlie looked up to see her mom dressing her bed. "You're back."

"Yes, I am. Have been for a while."

"It's not what you think. His sister is visiting, he asked me to come over for dinner."

"And you did."

"Yes, and it got late so I fell asleep on the couch and he didn't make me leave."

"Honey, it's no secret that I don't like him but what is the point of always being around each other and not being together?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"Maybe it's for the best." Gwen said. "How about lunch today?"

"Oh…Okay."

Gwen nodded. "I'm going for a massage, want to come?"

"Actually, I'm going to go for a shower and just relax for a while."

"Okay, well I have lunch booked in for one. Alexander's."

"I'll be there."

Gwen grabbed her purse and kissed her daughter's cheek, leaving the apartment.

Charlie walked into her bathroom and turned on her shower. She got undressed and stepped in, letting the hot water run over here. If she was being honest, a cold shower would have done her better. Being in Sands' bed this morning had gotten her riled up and it had come to nothing. She closed her eyes but couldn't relax.

"_So, are you doing what I thought you?"_

Charlie bit her lip, remembering his little "lesson" in Turkey again.

_Well, if it helps…_

* * *

"So, have you thought about my offer?"

Sands looked inside from where he stood on the balcony. "No, I still decline."

"What's the point in that?" Crowley asked on the other end of the phone. "It's in your contract. Your family gets health insurance."

"They'll be fine. How did you even find out about it?" Sands asked. The reason he'd been called in last night was because Crowley had offered his health insurance to pay for his father's medical bills.

"I'm big in the CIA. I find things out. Well, it's up to you."

Crowley hung up and Sands walked back inside where Lucy was eating cereal.

"So, when are we going over to Charlie's?"

"Later. She called me to say she's having lunch with her mom first."

"She's not really upset with me, is she?"

"No. She actually sounded really happy…" He frowned, not knowing why but shrugged, letting it go. "I hope you're not planning on running back to Georgia and spilling everything you'd seen here."

"Like what? That you have a half-girlfriend? I doubt anyone considers that a big deal."

"I don't want any of them to want to meet her." Sands explained.

"Why not? Anyway, Faith told me you were seeing someone."

"I didn't tell Faith that." Well, that was only half-true. She'd picked up on it in his voice one time they were on the phone, the fact that he actually sounded happy. From then on, she wouldn't believe he didn't have a girlfriend so he finally admitted that he had been seeing someone but wouldn't divulge who. "Faith guessed. And also promised not to tell anyone."

"I told her I'd come anyway so she had to. She knows though and since anyway, I had to call mom and tell her where I was for a week so she knows I'm with you."

"Brilliant."

* * *

"How was your massage?"

"Good." Gwen nodded, looking around. "I was considering booking you in for one; it could do you some good."

"Yeah, maybe." She shrugged. "Mom, why are you not eating? And looking at everyone but me?"

Gwen sighed. "Sweetie, I need to tell you something. I didn't just bring you here as a mother-daughter thing."

"You didn't?" Charlie frowned.

"No, there's something else?"

"What?"

"I haven't told you yet but…I've been seeing someone. It's why I've be gone sometimes."

"You met someone in Virginia?" She asked.

"Not exactly."

"Oh?"

"Yes, and he- Oh, here he is. Nathan!"

Charlie froze hearing her mother call that name to someone behind her. Surely he couldn't be this evil, to try and use her mother against her. It couldn't be him.

_No, it isn't. It's not him._

Charlie stayed frozen as Nathan Wyman walked in front of her and next to her mother who he kissed in the cheek before sitting down.

"Charlotte, you remember Nathan Wyman, don't you?"

Wyman smiled at her but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Vaguely." Charlie said, her voice breathless. "My father's business partner."

"This is why I had trouble telling you," Gwen said. "But I want you to know that this does not mean you have to talk to your father if you don't want to."

"Of course not," Wyman nodded. "I'd never make you do something you didn't want to, Charlotte."

Charlie felt like hitting him. Actually, she felt like setting him on fire. She tried to think of something to say but she couldn't.

"Charlotte, please say something." Gwen begged.

"How…How did you two meet?"

"Well, I was out for dinner and drinks one night with friends and met Nathan at the bar of the restaurant and we started talking and hit it off." Gwen smiled. "Quite a coincidence."

"Yeah, shocker." Charlie looked at Wyman.

"If you two will excuse me," Gwen stood up. "Must visit the powder room."

She walked away into the restaurant and Charlie instinctively had the notion to run.

"She's hoping that if she leaves and I have the chance to talk to you without her around, you'll realise that I'm not that bad." He said as he watched Gwen leave before looking back. "So Charlotte, how have things been?"

"How sick and twisted are you?" Charlie asked angrily. "You're bringing my mother into this? What is wrong with you? I am not going to say anything! How many times do I have to say that?"

"Stop shouting, Charlotte, it's uncivilised."

"So is rape."

"You know, it did start out with trying to manipulate your mother," Wyman said. "But Gwen has really grown me. She's quite a woman, Charlotte; you could learn a thing or two from her."

"My name is Charlie."

"Your mother begs to differ and she named you so I'll go by what she says. She's is definitely something."

"How are you planning on even getting away with this? My father…"

"Does not give one fuck who your mother is involved with. He's too busy popping pills and snorting powder up his nose. I haven't even seen him since the ball."

"He's been in a coma."

"And left me to deal with everything. I would say he owes me, don't you think?"

"What makes you think I won't tell my mother what you did just to get her away from you?"

"The fact that Lucy is just such a cute little thing."

Charlie paled. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Really? With your memory? Lucy Sands, blonde hair, skinny little thing, fifteen years old, comes from Georgia with parents Rex and Clora, not to mention her brothers; Wyatt with his wife Faith and their two children, Peter and Kristy, then there's Darryl who is just after breaking up with Hannah and finally, the black sheep, Sheldon who as it happens, is just after quite a horrible break up too. The rest of the family must have been going out of their minds when little Lucy disappeared but not to worry, Sheldon's been taking really good care of her."

Charlie felt like she was going to be sick. "So I have to sacrifice my family to make sure I don't sacrifice his?"

"Who said anything about sacrifice? I've treated your mother very well, just ask her. She's not being forced to be with me."

"No, that's only for the younger girls."

"Don't test me, Charlotte. I've turned one parent against you; I can do it to the other." He warned. "Look, I do have feelings for your mother so as a courtesy, I take back what I said about Sheldon, you can date him all you want. Now that I've remembered how nice having someone else is, I wouldn't think of denying you the same thing."

"Oh, thank you so much." She said sarcastically. "I've been waiting so long for your permission."

"Not to fuck him but hey, why not make it official?"

"You know a good way of not making me want to blurt out what you did? Stop following me and get out of my life for good."

"I was. It was the actions of people around you that brought all this back up. If you don't want to play the game, Charlotte, don't make the first move."

"I didn't!"

"You didn't have to come see me that night of the ball. You could have run out and left it at that but no, you came back and started back answering me and shouting rape. I have to subdue you somehow."

"By having sex with my mother?"

"Don't be so coarse. And like I said, you could learn a thing or two from her. From what I remember of you, you needed a lot of direction."

Charlie got up from the table and walked away.

"Charlotte, come back here." He called.

Charlie kept walking, hoping her legs wouldn't give out before she got to her car.

* * *

"Hi Mom!"

Sands heard Lucy on the phone from his balcony and immediately looked for something to distract him. He's been pretty good all week at not having to talk to anyone Lucy was on the phone too and he didn't want to start now. Picking up his phone quickly, he dialled Charlie's number.

"Hello?"

Sands frowned, hearing her voice. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing's wrong."

"Charlie…"

"I'm fine."

"Where are you?"

"Sitting in my car."

Sands frowned. "You're not like, in front of a river are you?"

"No. I'm in my building's garage. I don't want to get out and go upstairs in case my mom is there."

"I might have guessed she'd have something to do with this."

"You don't understand, he found her. Nathan Wyman found my mom and now they're dating."

"What?" He asked, shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Pretty fucking serious. He found her to mess with me but now apparently, he really cares about her and wants to be with her so he's just trying to get me to keep my mouth shut."

"How?"

"By doing what he always does! Making threats and being fucking intimidating."

"Do you want me to come over? Or do you want to come over here?"

"No, I have to talk to my mom."

"About what he did?"

"No, because he threatened to kill if I did."

"Kill who?" Charlie was silent. "Charlie?"

"He knows about Lucy."

"What?"

"I don't know if he was threatening to kill her or do anything else but I'm not taking that risk. I am so sorry." Charlie said. "I never meant for that to happen. I swear, I won't let him do anything."

Sands frowned. "How are you going to do that?"

"By just…Following his orders, I don't know."

"Charlie, you can't do that."

"You can't expect me not to!"

"He will turn everyone against you, your family…"

"It's better than him killing them and I don't want him hurting you anymore. He put you in the hospital last time."

"You step one foot out of line, he can put you there too."

"Or Lucy."

"He's not getting near Lucy. Or you."

"Sands…"

"No, it's not happening."

"And how are you going to stop it?"

Sands didn't reply straight away.

"Face it, Wyman is trying to control me and he's succeeding."

Sands sighed. "Where is he now?"

"I don't know. I ran off after he threw some jibes my way and now I don't know."

"Well, this can't keep happening."

"What can I do except keep my mouth shut?"

"You've done that for too long and it hasn't done any good. The way I see it, you have two options. You can either tell everyone what he did and try to get him arrested, maybe hope a few more girls come out of the woodwork…"

"So hope that more young girls went through what I did? What's the other option?"

"Make your mom not want anything to do with you."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Look, what's going to happen when you do see your mom? She's going to want to know why you're not a fan of her new beau and what are you going to tell her? Probably something along the lines of not liking that she's dating your estranged father's business partner, am I right?"

"I guess."

"At which point, she'll ask you to get to know him, spend some time with him and you'll decline. She'll think you're being awkward just for the sake of it and that you should try to see things from her point of view. You'll still decline. You two will fight and bam, your mom is gone and what will happen then? Wyman will keep on your tail, trying to make you talk to your mom again. His threats will just keep coming but for different things. Talk to your mom or your sister's company will go under. Come out and visit or your dad has another bad turn. If Wyman cares about your mom like he says then he'll only be interested in keeping her happy and what would make her happier and more into him than bringing you around? It shows how amazing he is if he gets his business partner's daughter to want him around. Trust me; you cutting ties with your mom won't stop him like his original plan wanted. Now that there's actual emotion involved for him, he's going to try and control you in any way he can to make sure he keeps getting what he wants. But if you explain to your mom, logically, why you can't get behind this, explain to her that you're happy if she's happy but you cannot face that man? Your mom will feel guilty and either try and guilt you into coming back to her side or break up with him. Now, if she breaks up with him, Wyman is still going to torture you because you've taken away what he wanted but if your mom stays with him and cuts off ties with you? It's a win-win for him. You just have to make it look like you won't try and hinder them being together."

Charlie knew he was right but was trying to find any way around it. "What if she doesn't do it? What if she chooses me over him?"

"You can't let her."

"But I can't have my mom stay with him."

"Charlie, your mom doesn't stay with anyone. She'll get bored like she always does and the relationship will fizzle out. It won't be your fault and Wyman won't be able to blame you."

"What if they get married?"

"You can always go for the other option."

"Answer me something; did Wyman put you in the hospital?"

"What?"

"Just answer."

Sands huffed. "Yes."

"No, he didn't. His cronies did." She pointed out. "Do you really think he doesn't have them trained to do some damage if I open my mouth? And anyway, what if more girls don't come forward? They can't prosecute Wyman, it's been too long."

"They can, because you were a minor at the time."

"We have no proof, no witnesses; all it will take is Wyman buying off the right people to get an alibi and he's free, I've put my family in danger, put you in danger and ruined my reputation since I'll be seen as a liar."

Sands had to admit, Wyman seemed to have all the cards. "I hate to say this but I don't know."

"Neither do I. Every move I take, I'm screwed."

"Just remember, be cool with your mom, alright? You get too angry and you become the villain. You need to make it clear that you want your mom to be happy but you just can't get behind her on this."

"Alright, I better go."

"Good luck."

Charlie hung up her phone and got out of her car, walking up to her apartment. Waiting for her was Gwen.

"I cannot believe you stormed off." Her mother said angrily. "That was very rude, Charlotte."

"I'm sorry." Charlie replied. "I just…I found it hard to take. You should have told me what was going to happen beforehand, not catch me off-guard."

"I didn't know how to. It's delicate."

"Yeah, it is. I shouldn't have been ambushed into that situation, mom. You should have let me know beforehand and let me think about it, not just throw me in front of the man and expect to be happy. I'm not."

"Why not?"

"Because he's my dad's business partner." Charlie frowned. "Did you even think about that?"

"Of course I did. Rachel told me a million times you wouldn't be on board with this but Charlotte, that shouldn't have anything to do with me seeing him."

"Are you kidding me?" How was she supposed to not get angry with faced with this? "You are dating your ex-husband's best friend; you didn't think that might not be the smartest move?"

"I don't think I should rule my life based on Steven."

"Or me?"

"I don't see the problem for you. I'm not asking you to move in with Nathan, I'm just hoping you'll be courteous."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I don't want anything to do with any of this. If you're happy then I'm happy for you but I can't support this, mom, and I don't think you should try and make me. You know how hard it's been for me, trying to live without a dad or having to settle with not knowing him or talking to him but it's like you didn't even consider what I felt before you decided to date his best friend. Do you really think dad will never be around him? Do you really think that if there's a party or a fundraiser or whatever, that you won't want me there or that dad won't be there? Mom, I don't want to get involved in any of this."

"Charlotte, you're just being infantile. We are all adults here and if you don't want to talk to your dad, no one is going to make you but Nathan Wyman has done nothing to hurt you."

"Get out."

Gwen frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Get. Out. I don't want you here." Charlie said, her anger overtaking her.

"Charlotte, this is seriously because of Nathan Wyman?"

"The man is my father's business partner! And he…"

"He what?"

_He knows about Lucy. He threatened her._

"I am not letting you drag me back into that." Charlie said. "You want to date him? Marry him? You want to have a relationship with him? Then you do not see me anymore. It's him or it's me."

"Charlotte…"

"I am not being connected to that man in any way! I do not want him in my life!"

"Just because he's your father's business partner?"

"Him or me?"

"This is so selfish of you, Charlotte."

"I don't care. You have to choose."

"No, I don't." Gwen said firmly. "I'm a grown woman Charlotte; I can see who I want. You live across the country; you never even come to see me. Honestly, which one of my past relationships have you actually taken notice of? I am not sacrificing one part of my life for another. You shouldn't try and make me. I refuse to choose between you and Nathan."

Charlie shook her head with tears in her eyes. "You just did."

"What?"

"If you stay with that man, I am done with this family. Get out."

"Why do you hate him?"

"You just didn't even give the fact that he's my father's business partner a second thought when you started going out with him! No, you just cared about his bank account!"

"Charlotte, that is enough! You are a grown woman and I am done with your attitude!"

"Then get out!"

Gwen nodded. "Fine." She grabbed her case and walked to the door. "But I am so disappointed in you."

"Now you know how I feel."

Gwen left the apartment and Charlie put her head in her hands as she sobbed.

* * *

"Mom called a while ago."

"Oh?" Sands replied, completely disinterested.

"Yeah, she said she wanted to talk to you but you were on the phone."

Sands frowned at her. "You didn't hear anything I said on the phone, did you?"

"No, why?"

"Because it was private."

"Well no, I was talking to mom. She wants to come out here, she said again, to pick me up and to see you."

"Well, if you're putting all the money into dad, she's not going to be able to."

"Yeah, that's why she hasn't."

"Oh well."

"You wouldn't consider it?"

"I'm already paying to send you home and giving you money to take home with you. I'm not made of the stuff."

"I know, it's just…She'd like to see you. Maybe you could come back with me."

"I can't."

"Why? You've got to work? I haven't seen you work all week."

"I took the week off because of you, gotta make sure you don't burn my place down or stab yourself with a kitchen knife."

"I'm not a child."

"That's exactly what you are."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Can we go over to Charlie's yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not happening tonight, it'll have to be another night."

"What? What the hell? That is so unfair!"

Sands closed the book he'd been trying to finish since Lucy had shown up and had yet to succeed. "Alright Lucy, here's something you need to know about life. No one owes you anything. If you want something, that does not automatically mean you are entitled to it. Money for dad? You don't just get it. Mom to fly out here? Can't afford it. Charlie's wardrobe? Not yours. You have to work for it. Charlie is doing you a favour. It's not even a good one; it's looking at a bunch of dresses. Regardless, it is a favour you wanted and a favour she agreed to so you need to stop acting like she owes you. She is doing you a favour so just appreciate it and stop complaining. Say thank you."

"I did."

"You didn't."

"Well, it hasn't happened yet."

"Okay, I get growing up with dad would impart this feeling of 'The world owes me for no reason' but listen to me, you will go much, much farther if you stop being so bratty and get people on your side."

"On my side?"

"Yes." Sands said. "You will catch more flies-"

"With honey than with vinegar?"

"No, you'll catch more flies with fly paper. You know how flypaper catches flies? It exudes a sweet scent which draws the flies in and then traps them for the person who set up the flypaper to do with as they please. It's the same with people. Make the proposition attractive and trap them into needing your help."

Lucy looked intrigued by that. "How do I do that?"

Sands smirked.

_Maybe having a student is just what I need to get through suspension._

* * *

"Macintosh, are you going to come in or just stand in my doorway?"

"Sorry, sir." Charlie walked into Crowley's office and closed the door. She sat down across from him.

"Macintosh? Speak."

"Sorry. I was just wondering if I could be cleared to perform surgery yet."

"You'd have to ask Harper, not me."

"But you sign off on it. Please, I really need to get back to normal."

"The last time you were in an OR, you had a panic attack."

"I know that but…Things have been rough lately, I'll admit that but that's why I want to focus on my job for a while."

Crowley surveyed her. "I'll think about it, Macintosh, that's the best I can do."

Charlie sighed and got up. "Thank you, sir."

The fact that Charlie didn't have much to do for the rest of the day so she was actually quite happy to get home. Maybe she'd call Sands and tell him to bring Lucy over now. It'd give her something to do and give them time to talk. It'd also mean she wasn't alone in her big apartment.

She opened her door and walked inside to her dark apartment. She didn't turn on the lights as she walked over to her counter and put her bag down.

"I saw you in the paper."

Charlie jumped in fright at the voice and her blood ran cold when she realised where it came from. "Barry."

He was sitting in corner or her apartment with a drink in one hand and a gun in the other. "Hey babe."

Charlie didn't know what to do. Her hand instinctively went for her bag where the gun was.

"Don't. Don't do that." Barry pointed his own gun at her. "I just came here to talk; I don't want us trying to hurt each other." He motioned the gun over to himself. "Come here."

Charlie left the bag and walked over slowly, sitting on the end of the bed. "What are you doing here, Barry?"

"I wanted to see how you were." He said. "There's so much being printed about you in the papers, half of which I know can't be true."

"It's not."

"You don't have to tell me. I know you better than anyone. I kept telling myself I couldn't do this but I finally couldn't resist. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine. I was a bit terrified when I got your birthday card that was covered in blood but overall, I've been doing well."

"But you didn't leave? I delivered that card here myself and you knew I knew where you lived so why didn't you leave? You obviously didn't see me as a threat."

"I wouldn't say that." She mumbled before a thought came to her. She looked up at him. "Is it you?" She asked. "Kidnapping all those women?"

He didn't reply.

"Barry?"

"You're the only woman I want. You're all I think about. You mean everything to me and you just disregard me as some villain because your new boyfriend tells you to."

"Barry," She didn't know how far she could tread without making him angry. "You kidnapped me and threatened to blow me up. You tried to make him disfigure me. You held a knife to my throat."

"I never wanted to hurt you. I never want to hurt you at all but I was desperate. I couldn't see any other way. Every time I try to talk to you, he shows up. You never just let me talk to you and then I do something stupid just so I can stay near you."

"Well, I'm here now and he's not. Just...talk to me now." She said, hoping talking was all he wanted to do and the gun wouldn't come into it.

Barry looked close to crying. "Why did you do it, Charlie? Why did you leave me?"

"I...I didn't love you anymore."

"But you didn't even try to make it work. I would have done anything to make it work. I would have gone to counselling or whatever you wanted. Ten years, Charlie, I wasn't ready to throw ten years away. I love you so much and then you just ripped my entire life away from me without a second thought. For him. I mean, what's the difference between me and him? Really, what is there? Why is he the hero and I'm the villain? Because I kill people? I've killed a lot less people than he has. He doesn't give it a second thought. I have reasons for doing what I did."

"It wasn't about him."

"Oh come on, Charlie..."

"It's true!" She pressed. "Barry, I am telling you the truth and I wish you would believe me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you love him. The way you used to love me. Do you remember that, Charlie? You used to love me. We used to be happy. We used to be together all the time and be best friends and...You were my life. You used to be so happy when you saw me. I'll never forget how happy you were when I told you I'd move to Virginia to be with you." He was smiling at the memory.

"I do remember." She said sadly. "But when I broke up with you, I hadn't felt anything remotely like that for such a long time. I'm sorry, I know that isn't easy to hear, but it's true. Don't you think I felt hurt too? It wasn't just you that spent ten years in that relationship, Barry. You were my first everything. I did try to make things work for as long as I could. But I couldn't anymore and I couldn't lie. To you or myself."

"How did you ever try to fix things?" He asked angrily. "You were never there! You were always at work and when you weren't, you didn't want me around. You didn't even want to live together. After ten years?"

"Barry, you know why. You know I spent my entire life watching my mom depend on man after man after man, living in their houses and..."

"This is not about your mom and her husbands; this is about you and me. You can say that I've been the bad guy all you want but I went through ten years of being the good guy, of being the only good guy to you."

"And you love to throw that in my face." She said. "You love to point out that no one wanted to be near me but you, that I would be all alone if it weren't for you. How was that supposed to make me feel good?"

"You're saying I didn't make you feel good?"

"Not near the end."

"Then you should have tried to talk to me and don't say you did try because we both know that's not true."

"No, you're right. I never came to try and talk to you because we were always fighting anyway. Do you remember that, Barry? We fought so much near the end."

"You're saying you and him never fight?"

Charlie sighed. "Of course we do. Barry, I can't keep comparing you to him. I can't act like they're the same, they're not."

"You cheated on me."

"I never slept with him..."

"Come on, Charlie. Just admit it!"

Charlie sighed. "You want the truth? Fine. I did cheat on you. I didn't sleep with him when we were together but I wanted to and in Florida, after he hung up on you, I nearly did."

"You nearly did?"

"I would have if we hadn't been interrupted. I had been in bed with him the night before and it was just sleeping but we almost had sex then. He came by my room and I...I was with you and I was going to sleep with him anyway. I didn't care and I do hate that about myself, I really do, Barry. I think cheating is unforgivable but I wanted to do it and I didn't think about you. When I got home, I broke up with you. That's the truth. I broke up with you because I didn't even consider you, it was clear that I shouldn't have been with you anymore. I broke up with you because I would have cheated and I hated that about myself. That has nothing to do with him, it's all about me and you."

Barry didn't seem very happy to finally have the entire truth.

"You cheated on me too. A lot more. Don't deny it because I won't believe you."

Barry sighed. "I just...I figured that you didn't like sex, because of what happened, so if I could be in a relationship with you but get that elsewhere, we'd both be happy. You'd have the kind of relationship you wanted and I'd have you. Now, you're fucking him day in and day out."

"No, it's not just about sex."

"But you enjoy it now?"

Charlie sighed. "Yes but that doesn't mean anything. Barry, you blackmailed me into sleeping with you that first time and ever since then, I couldn't do it without thinking about what happened with him or how I felt like I was being forced again."

"I never forced you."

"Not physically but telling me you were going to leave me if I didn't? You can't say I never loved you if you knew that thought scared me so much, I did something I hated and wasn't ready for."

"It had been years."

"Yes, years of knowing that he was still out there, years of knowing he was best friends with my father, years of being completely petrified that it would happen again."

"But now you're not scared? Because of him? Wyman's actually fucking in your life again but you're just fine with that because of him?"

"Not at all." Charlie shook her head. "Sands and I aren't together anymore. Because of Wyman."

Barry looked up at her. "You're not?"

"No. We broke up."

He looked like all his birthdays had come at once. We walked over to her, kneeling in front of her. "Charlie, you have no idea how much I've wanted this."

She could smell the alcohol on his breath. "Barry, this doesn't mean anything." She frowned. "Me and Sands not being together doesn't mean anything to you."

"Of course it does. Now it means he'll leave us alone."

"There is no us."

"No, I know that. I mean whenever we try to talk, to work out where everything went wrong, he won't get in the way."

"Whenever? Are you planning on this becoming a regular thing?" Charlie frowned. "You sneaking into my apartment and aiming a gun at me so I'll talk to you?"

Barry's good humour seemed to dissipate. "You planning on ratting me out? Telling those fuckers you work for that I was here?"

"Are you the one kidnapping those women?" Charlie asked again.

"I came here to talk to you! To see how you were after everything that happened! I came because I was worried about you and all you care about is catching me and handing me over to your fucking CIA."

"I don't anyone hurt because of me. Those women are getting killed and I just want it to stop. If you swear to me that you'll stop hurting more women, if you let them go, I won't say you were here and I won't tell if you come back."

"Do you want me to come back?" Barry asked.

"Does those women's lives and freedom depend on my answer?"

"I haven't even admitted that I have them. I don't."

"You're lying to me." Charlie said. "You have them, just tell me. You're that Avenger person."

His hand went to her hair. "I like that you went back to your old colour. It reminds me of when you were with me, of what things used to be like before you had to fuck everything up."

Charlie realised he was going to kiss her and that if she was going to keep him sweet and not wanting to use his gun, she'd have to kiss him back. She didn't know if she could do it convincingly. Before she had time to think of a way out of it though, Barry leaned in and his lips assaulted hers as his other hand that wasn't in her hair went to her waist. Charlie's arms went around his neck and tried to respond in the kiss as best she could, trying to think of how she used to want to do this or how she acted with Sands or anything to get her through it. As the kiss got more passionate on Barry's side, Charlie tried to follow his lead and he didn't seem to feel her trepidation. Charlie felt his hand on her waist clutch the end of her top and she realised he was planning on taking it off her.

_Oh God, I can't. I can't do this with him. _

Charlie could feel herself beginning to panic but tried to calmly part the forced embrace.

"Wait." She said in what she hoped a composed manner. "Just do me one thing first."

"What?"

"Let them go." Charlie pleaded. "Barry, they have families looking for them, they don't deserve this."

"I told you, it's not me."

"Just please le-Ow!" Charlie let out a shout of pain when he grabbed a tuft of hair in his hand and pulled her head down so she had to look up at him.

"Why aren't you listening to me? I'm not kidnapping any fucking women."

"Okay, okay, I believe you." Charlie said, trying to calm him down. "I'm sorry."

"You're so fucking quick to believe everyone but me." He didn't let her go. "I was the one who put up with your bullshit for ten years, the other guy couldn't last one. It really goes to show, I'm the only one fucked up enough to deal with you. No one else wants the job of keeping you around but no, you still don't want me. I'm the only one who wants you, who ever wanted you. Your father fucking doesn't either and that's your fucking father, the one guy who should want you, no matter what. Don't you think that's just a little indication of how people see you? Why do you think you'll find anyone besides me who wants you when no one else fucking cares?"

Charlie didn't want to answer and he pulled her hair harshly.

"Ow! Please let me go!"

"Answer the fucking question!"

"I don't know!" She cried, feeling strands detaching from her head. "I just know I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be anywhere near you!"

Barry pulled her hair downwards so hard, she went to the floor face down and when he brought his hand away, he had a handful of her hair. He crouched down to where she was trying to get up and placed the gun at the back of her head, making her freeze.

"Why don't I just pull the trigger right now? Blow your brains out? I can do me next. If you make sure we don't live together, why don't I make sure we die together?"

"If you love me, you won't be able to kill me."

"You say that and yet-" Barry was cut off guard when Charlie spurred into action quickly, turning and putting her arm out to bash into his so the gun went flying before punching him in the face with her other hand. He fell backwards and she went for the gun but he grabbed her leg and pulled her so she was under him. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

"You were holding a gun to my head." She struggled against him.

"You think I need a gun? I can do whatever I want with you."

Charlie managed to get her hand free and reached up, slapping him hard and scratching across his cheek with her nails. He let out a yell as he crashed to the floor and Charlie tried to crawl over to get the gun but felt herself get yanked back by her hair. She felt a kick into her stomach and then another one as she fell onto her side. Charlie thought she'd pass out when Barry didn't stop but eventually he turned away from her with a yell.

"Damnit Charlie, why do you do this? I didn't want to turn this into a fight! I didn't want to hurt you! I came here to talk, to just talk. That's all I wanted. You never just talk to me. You always try and run out or stop; you never just let me say my piece." He looked back at her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you. I stayed away from your face, didn't I? No one will know, you'll be fine. I am sorry." He picked up the gun and sat back down in the chair, putting his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry. I just want things back to normal."

Charlie tried to get up but she was in pain. She finally managed. "Things will never be back to normal. Do you realise how many people are after you? Even if I did want it, we could never be together."

"We could, we could make it. We could disappear. I haven't been found yet, I'm good at it."

"You're in Virginia. Leave here; leave this state, the country. Just do like you said and disappear forever or you will be found eventually and it won't be good for you. It is the smartest thing for you to do. Disappear forever."

"Come with me."

"No."

"I could make you, just snatch you right now."

"You won't though." Charlie hoped. "Because as things are now, the CIA has forgotten about you but if I go missing, they'll be out in full force to find you and they'll succeed. Barry, just do yourself a favour and run. Run far away and try and rebuild your life somewhere else, a different continent even. Change your name and settle down somewhere where you can live out in the open. You won't have to be afraid of walking down a street."

Barry looked at her for a few seconds before putting his head in his hands again. He was like that for a while but Charlie didn't dare move. She jumped when he stood up suddenly.

"I'm not giving up." He told her as he went to her window. "This isn't the last time you see me, I promise. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I find a way to keep you." He hopped out the window and onto the fire escape. He looked back in once. "I'm not lying; I do really like your hair."

And with that, he was gone.

* * *

"Sheldon!"

Sands rolled his eyes the next night, hearing his sister call him from downstairs. "What?"

"I'm on the phone with mom and she wants to talk to you!"

Sands tried to think of an excuse. "I can't, I'm just stepping into the shower."

"She just wants to quickly thank you for the plane ticket."

That made him shoot over to the railings and look down. "What plane ticket?"

"The one you sent her to come pick me up. She got it today."

Sands had never sent any plane ticket. "Tell her you'll call her back."

"But she's just about to board…"

"Lucy!"

Lucy rolled her eyes and put the phone back to her ear. "Mom, I have to go but I'll talk to you when you get here. Okay, bye."

She hung up the phone and looked up at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were bringing mom out?"

"Shut up for a second, I need to make a call."

"Why did I need to hang if you're not even going to talk to me?"

"Just shut up for a second!" He went to his own phone and dialled Charlie's number.

"Hello?"

"Did you send my mom a plane ticket to come out here?"

"No, I wouldn't even know- What? No, I did not."

"Well, someone did and said it was from me."

"Try Crowley, he knows and he's been interested in your father's condition."

Sands sighed. "Crowley."

"Actually, you wanna bring Lucy over here now to look at Rachel's stuff? I wanna talk to you."

"I was going to nix that plan after everything with Wyman…"

"No, there's no point in letting Lucy down. Anyway, I really need to talk to you."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Sands hung up the phone and walked downstairs. "Come on, kid."

"Where are we going? To wait for mom at the airport?"

"Not even a little bit. Charlie just told me to being you over to look at those stupid dresses so hurry up."

"But mom…"

"You wanna see them or not?"

"Okay."

"Then move."

They drove over to Charlie's and got a surprise when she opened the door.

"You're brunette."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Felt like a change."

"This isn't cause I said that thing about your hair, is it?" Lucy fretted.

Sands looked down at her. "What you say about her hair?"

"No, it's not." Charlie reassured. "Everything's set up in the closet for you."

"Great!" Lucy ran inside and out of sight.

"What did she say about your hair?" Sands asked, walking inside.

"Nothing." Charlie shook her head. "I just felt like a change."

"You weren't red for that long."

"Long enough."

"How did things go with your mom?"

"Not good. I ended up letting my anger take over and threw her out."

"Do you think it'll get Wyman off your back?"

"Not even a little bit. I don't know what to do."

He pulled her close to him in an attempt to comfort her but stepped back when she let out a hiss. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She lied. "I was at the gym a while ago, just a little sore."

"You're lying."

"I'm not."

Sands went to lift her top but she pulled back.

"You can't do that."

Sands looked at her. "What happened?"

"Nothing!"

"Then why were you in pain when I touched you?"

"Sands, I'm fine."

Sands didn't look convinced, he actually looked worried. "Tell me."

"Just please leave it go." She begged.

His hands went to her top again and he lifted it gently as she closed her eyes. His eyes were assaulted with the sight of her torso heavily bruised in different places.

"Did Wyman do this to you?" He asked angrily.

"No."

"Then who-?"

"Please, leave it go."

"What? No! Who did-?"

"Barry."

Sands looked up at her. "What?"

"I came home from work last night and he was in my apartment. I questioned him about the missing girls and he didn't like it."

"Charlie…"

"He kept saying he liked my hair too so...Now I'm brunette."

"You have to move." Sand ssaid suddenly.

"Move?"

"Charlie, you can't stay here!"

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Anywhere else! If the CIA had any sense, they'd move you to a safe house! Do they even know about this?"

"I told Crowley this morning."

"And?"

"And nothing's happening."

"What the fuck do you mean nothing's happening? The guy is a psychopath and he broke into your home last night! And they want to do nothing?"

Charlie stayed silent.

"Then leave, yourself." Sands said.

"Sands, I can't. What happens if I leave and the CIA come after me?"

"It has to be better than being kidnapped and killed! Do you know what he's doing to those women in between the time they go missing and their bodies are discovered? It isn't pleasant."

"I know that."

"And if he takes you, it'll be ten times worse for you. It's only a matter of time, it's not like he has to find you first, you're already found!"

"You don't think I'm know that?" Charlie frowned. "After last night, I am more scared than I've ever been."

"Then move the fuck out."

"If he found me once, he can find me again. He found me in the middle of Turkey, for Christ's sake!"

Sands huffed. "Do you not remember that night in the factory? He has not only been trained by a CIA agent but he also does not care. I shot him, he still made it out of an exploding factory that was already up in flames and was able to make tracks fast enough for the CIA to lose him without a trace left behind. He has been on the run for a year and has eluded the most powerful people out there and not only is he still alive, he's going out! He's blatantly walking around and going into clubs and snatching women! He's convincing them to go home with them! You think he just pulled those girls out of the club without a word? That he passed the bouncers and everyone with them tied up and gagged? He is too confident and you are his real target!"

"He has every police officer in the country looking for him and he's getting sloppy."

"I know you are trying to make yourself feel better and convince yourself not to be so scared but this is a time when you should be scared."

"I am scared. But having to go into hiding? He's ruling my life all over again." Charlie shook her head. "I can't believe this has to happen again. What if he doesn't get caught? Am I just going to have to run every year?"

"He will get caught."

"He hasn't so far! No, I ran last year because of him, I'm not doing it again."

"Charlie!"

"I can't! I've already let Wyman make me lose my family, now you're asking me to let Barry make me lose my home? You are asking me to let those men manipulate my whole life! Haven't I done that enough already?"

"All you have to do to get Wyman to stop is tell everyone what he did!"

"And then his men come after everyone I care about! I'm not letting that happen!"

"Well, it can't stay like this. You're afraid to walk outside your front door!" Sands calmed down, remember Lucy was in the other room. "They're really just going to leave you here?"

"I don't want to go anywhere."

"Did they offer?"

Charlie was silent.

"Charlie, did you discuss going somewhere with them?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And it's not happening."

"Why not?"

"Because they won't." She finally admitted. "So you'll excuse me if I'm trying to make myself feel better about staying here."

"You can still move?"

"Because that won't arouse suspicion? You don't think he'll notice moving vans?"

Sands shook his head. "I'll be back."

He turned to leave and Charlie frowned. "Where are you going?"

"I'll be back to pick up Lucy."

He left the apartment and only had one destination in mind.

"Agent Sands, you are still currently on suspension, you should not be on the premises."

Sands walked into Crowley's office anyway. "You know that she's in danger and you won't do anything about it?"

"I see Doctor Macintosh has been following our rules as usual."

"What is the point of following your rules when you won't even do right by her?"

"What exactly are you talking about?"

"The fact that her psychotic ex broke into her home last night and beat the shit out of her and you won't even move her to a hotel."

"I see Doctor Macintosh has not told you everything."

Sands frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We did offer to move her, send her somewhere Peterson wouldn't even think of."

"Where?"

"Georgia."

Sands was positive he'd misheard. "Georgia?"

"Like I said before, your father can be covered under your insurance and what better way to do that than to send down one of our very good doctors? A doctor who was in my office yesterday asking to be given back her duties again. The way I see it, it's killing two birds with one stone; we get her into hiding and she gets back to doing what she loves which might be just what she needs to help overcome her PTSD."

"Are you kidding me? You want to send her to treat my father? Is this some kind of reversal? I had to deal with her father but that didn't work so now you're turning it around?"

"No, I ordered her to go and treat your father but unlike you, she refused."

"She did?"

"Said she'd take her chances here."

"So that's it? She either goes to Georgia to treat my father or risks her life here? Are you serious? Why do you even want her around my family in the first place? We're supposed to stay away from each other!"

"You would be. You'd be in Virginia, she'd be in Georgia."

"Without protection?"

"Well, we wouldn't be sending you. And anyway, I've never cared about what you two did together and I'm retiring from this hellhole soon so fuck 'em, I'll send who I want where with whomever I choose while I still can."

"Why can't you just send her somewhere else? Anywhere else?"

"Because I'm not supposed to send her anywhere. My bosses want to use her as bait, keep her out in the open so it might drag Peterson out."

"But that could get her killed."

"A necessary expense to detain Peterson. You know how this place works, Sands. Georgia is the only place I can send her where they can't complain she's not doing her job as a member of the CIA. If she stays here, her new job is sacrifice for the greater good."

Sands shook his head. "This is bullshit."

"We're a shady place, Sands. You knew that when you started working here. We have to break rules and undercut to do what we have to. You used to do it all the time."

"I still do it all the time. On missions. She's not an agent."

"She's collateral, that's all they need to know."

Sands sighed and turned to leave the office.

"Where are you going?" Crowley asked.

"To pick up my sister."

"From where?"

"I'm sure you'll think of a good lie to tell yourself."

* * *

"Do you mind if I take photos of the dresses?"

"Oh…Oh yeah, go ahead." Charlie said as she sat cross-legged on her closet floor, a hot cup between her hands.

"Thanks." Lucy said excitedly. "All my friends are going to be so jealous! Our school dance is coming up soon so everyone is trying to find the perfect dress and I'm surrounded by them! It's amazing."

"Do you have a dress?"

Lucy's smile dissipated slightly. "I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Well, with my dad sick and money not being…Around, it's just easier for everyone if I don't."

"Do you want to go?"

"No, it's stupid. It's just a bunch of people standing around and being too awkward to dance. I mean, yeah I'd like to wear a pretty dress and do my hair and make-up and everything but I don't think I'll miss it too much."

Charlie was about to reply when she heard a knock on her door. She got up.

"You stay here; it's probably just your brother."

She left the closet and answered the door. Sands walked back inside looking deep in thought.

"Where'd you go?" Charlie asked.

"To see Crowley." He admitted. "I think you should go to Georgia."

"Sands, no. They're just doing this to mess with us again since we're not exactly offering them much lately. I can't work and you're not allowed work so they know we're spending time together. They're just trying to ruin us again."

"They're not though. If you stay here, they're going to use you as a pawn against him and I don't want to see that happen."

"You don't want to see me around your family."

"I don't want to see you dead."

"Sands…"

"If it wasn't my family, would you go?"

"Yes." She replied honestly. "I was going to say yes. I wanted to go. It'd give me a chance to stay safe and really get back to doing what I love which is being a doctor. I've been so caught up in everything else; I'm barely allowed work anymore. It's all paperwork or hanging around and waiting for a patient and I'm sick of it. Going to a real hospital with patients and other doctors is just what I need to help me get back to my focus. But not your father. I couldn't do that, not after everything."

"I'm telling you to go."

"But-"

"Charlie. Go."

"Are…Are you sure?"

Sands didn't reply for a while and couldn't when they were interrupted.

"Sheldon!" Lucy ran out of the closet. "I just got a text."

"Good for you."

"Shut up. It's from mom. Her flight just landed."

"Landed?" Charlie frowned, seeing Sands looked frustrated.

"Yeah." Lucy nodded. "She's in Virginia."

"What?"

"Come on Sheldon, we gotta go pick her up. You coming, Charlie?"

Charlie looked at Sands with a confused expression.

"I guess you're meeting her a little sooner than expected."

* * *

**Who's ready to meet Mama Sands?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"Mom!"

"Lucy." The woman ran past the other people leaving the plane to hug her daughter. "I am so mad at you for running away; I cannot even put it into words."

"I'm okay, mom." Lucy explained. "Sheldon's been taking really good care of me."

Clora separated from her daughter, remember the son she hadn't seen in nearly sixteen years. "Where is he?"

"Uh…" Lucy looked a little unsure. "He dropped me off but he didn't stay."

"He didn't?"

"No, but he gave me money for a cab and is paying for a hotel room."

"A hotel?"

"His apartment isn't big enough for three of us. Well, I mean, it would be if he correctly spaced it out but…" She looked at her mother. "I'm sure you'll see him tomorrow."

Clora didn't seem to believe it but tried not to let her disappointment show. "Let's get going, I'm quite tired after my flight."

* * *

"You should have stayed at the airport."

"And let you stay here on your own? Not a chance."

Charlie smiled weakly at him. "I'll be fine."

"Not if he comes back."

"He won't."

"You don't know that. If you had any sense, you'd come back to my place instead."

Charlie sighed. "I don't want to be run out of my own home."

Sands sat up from where he was lying across the end of her bed. She was sitting cross legged across from him. "Look, I know you think this place is your home but come on, it's an apartment. You've lived here just over a year. You gave up your last place easy enough and you'd lived there since you came to Virginia."

"It wasn't easy but the place had been shot up and I was hated in the building."

"And this place is known to two people who are trying to ruin your life. Wyman will know where you live." He said when she was about to interrupt. "Come on sugar, you can live anywhere else."

"And he'll find there too. And he'll find the next place, and the next. I can't keep running and hope that he won't find me. How did he find me this time?"

"I don't know." Sands huffed.

Charlie shrugged. "Then who's to say he won't find me again?"

"If he does, I'll be here to kill him."

"Even if you're here as much as you can be, you can't be here all the time. What about when you go back to work and they're sending you off to different countries again? Not only that, when you're finished suspension and go back to work, they're going to crack down harder on us because we've clearly been spending so much time together. When you're on suspension, they can't hurt us but when you're done?"

Sands was trying to think of something to say but his phone ringing interrupted his complete lack of an answer. "Two seconds." He picked it up. "Hello?"

"We're at your place."

Sands frowned at Lucy's statement. "What do you mean?"

"She really wants to see you and she said she's not leaving until you see her. You can kind of see her point, she hasn't seen you for the entire time I've been alive and…"

"Shut up. No."

"Sheldon, she's really upset that you wouldn't come see her. You're going to have to see her eventually. You might as well get it over with."

"No, I can't. I'm busy."

He was cut off when Charlie took his phone. "He'll be right there." She said before hanging up. "Go."

"No, you shouldn't have done that."

"Sands, she's your mom, she's not going to give up. Trust me, I know. She won't give up and she'll use Lucy to do it. That's not fair on the kid, to be stuck in the middle. I wouldn't care but it's not really fair on Lucy and I do know what's it's like to be a kid and be used as a weapon between adults. It sucks."

"You see what you're doing? You're doing exactly what you hate me for."

"Call us even." She shrugged.

"If we're even then we can get back together."

"Only if you see your mom."

Sands frowned at her, wondering if that meant she'd actually get back together with him before getting up. "I'll be back soon."

"Take your time. Actually, I have to go to the hospital for a while so here," She reached inside her nightstand drawer and pulled out a key. "Let yourself in."

"Really?"

Charlie nodded. "I might not be here when you get back but like I said, take your time."

"Believe me sugar; I'll be out of there as fast as I can. Just get her out of my place and I'm gone."

Sands nodded and left her apartment. Charlie made sure his car was gone before picking up her keys and leaving too. Instead of going to the hospital, she made her way to what looked like it could be an old manor but she knew it wasn't. This place was exclusively for the finest of the finest and only men. She never thought she'd ever want to go into a gentlemen's club but here she was. She was denied entry which annoyed her so she relished in letting them know who she was and who she was here to see. When she walked in, she made her way over to who she was looking for and his associates.

"Well hello darling. And what can we do for you?"

"That's my daughter." Steven frowned when he saw her, making the other man shut up. "Charlie?"

"I need to talk to you. In private."

Steven got up and walked with his daughter out to the foyer.

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?"

"This isn't about us. It's about your business partner dating my mom."

"What?"

"Yeah. As if things weren't complicated enough already. This is your problem."

"What? How?"

"Nathan Wyman is your problem." She prodded his chest before folding her arms. "Mom is my responsibility, he is yours. Since mom doesn't have a clue about anything, I can't exactly talk her out of being with him. He's your best friend, deal with him."

"How do you expect me to do that?"

"It's your company he wants, use it against him. You're still the CEO."

"Charlie, that's just not something I can do."

"Oh my God, I cannot believe you are this obsessed with staying on his good side. The man has threatened me over and over again, he has beaten someone I love so badly, they ended up in the hospital and now he's manipulating my mother to want nothing to do with me, the same way he did it to you." Charlie waited for a reply but nothing came. She scoffed. "I don't know why I came to you. You're useless."

She turned and walked away but Steven followed her. "Charlie!"

"Don't bother."

"Come back here, I'm not done."

"You were done when I was seventeen. You had seventeen years to do right by me and you blew them all."

Steven caught up to her and grabbed her arm, turning her to face him. "Charlie, wait."

"For what? For you to make more excuses? I'm sick of hearing them."

"Just listen to me. You don't honestly think I want this to keep going on, do you?"

"Then do something!"

"Like what? Fire him? It's not that easy."

"He put your company into danger by setting up deals with Sharma and-"

"And after you threatened him, all evidence, including Sharma, is gone. It would be his word against mine, the drunk who recently woke up from a coma caused by my attempted overdose. Anyway, I was involved with that deal too. Basically, anything I can threaten Nathan with, he can threaten me right back with. Nathan was careful, I wasn't. I'm sorry, Charlie. The only thing there is to use against him is...What he did to you."

"He didn't do anything, I thought?" She asked, sarcastically.

"Charlie..."

"Do you finally believe me?"

Steven was silent.

"I don't know why I even ask anymore..." She shook her head.

"No, Charlie, I do believe you." He said quickly. "I just don't want to believe it's true."

"Because you don't want to believe that your best friend is a rapist?"

"Because I don't want it to be true that my daughter was raped. And I don't want it to be true because that means what I did when you were seventeen..." He seemed to struggle with that but Charlie didn't say anything. She didn't think she owed it to him to comfort him. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to make things right..."

Charlie didn't either.

"I want to try." Steven said. "I really do. I just know that Nathan will be much more careful about everything now. I don't know what I can do to get him to leave you alone but I really don't want to lose my daughter any more than I already have. I want to stay here and I want to work things out."

"You always say that and you never do it. I always end up getting hurt. You always promise these things and you never follow through, why should this time be any different?"

"I'm still here, aren't I? I'm still in Virginia. Why would I stay for any other reason besides you? And I will stay for as long as possible."

"There's no point because I'm going away," Charlie said. "For work."

"Where?"

"I can't say."

"Of course. The CIA would be confidential."

Charlie frowned at him.

"I know you may think so but I'm not an idiot. I put two and two together. Are you even really a doctor anymore?"

"Yes but at the CIA and I'm being relocated for the time being."

"And I can't know where?"

"No."

"Would you tell me if you could?"

"I really don't think I have to."

"Would you want to?"

"No."

"But…"

"Just because you believe me doesn't mean that we're good." Charlie said angrily. "It doesn't undo everything. You should have believed me the second I told you. Do you realise what you did to my life? I was brutally assaulted and you blamed me. You made me feel worthless and ashamed and like I deserved it. You're my dad and because of you, my rapist won. I was too scared to do anything about it after you told me it was my own fault. I couldn't go to the police because I couldn't see you deny it and say I was a liar. You had your maids practically sanitise the bedroom it happened in just so no one would believe me if I did say something. I have spent every day since that night terrified of being alone in case something like that happens to me again. I stayed with someone who treated me like shit because I thought that was all I could ever get, that was all I deserved because of how you and Nathan Wyman made me feel. I feel worthless all the time, except when I am with Sands and you even ruined that for me. And the worst thing is, is that the only person who was sorry about all of this was me. I was sorry that I ever stayed in your house, that I didn't give up on you earlier. I am the only one who for years, felt in the wrong. I hated myself and now I have to put up with death threats and being made feel like dirt because you wanted to see me again. If you had just left me alone, Nathan Wyman would never have gotten involved in my life and started threatening everyone in it."

Steven couldn't quite look her in the eye. "Charlie…"

"Don't. Don't bother. I can't even begin to try and understand how saying all that made _you _feel." She said, close to tears.

"I'll leave." Steven told her. "I'll go back to L.A. and you won't have to see me again. I'll stop calling you or trying to get in contact with you. I'll leave and I won't come back."

Charlie shook her head, her tears falling. He broke his previous promise very quickly. "Fine."

She turned and left the club.

* * *

Sands couldn't help but hurry to his apartment. Lucy may not have been able to find incriminating things around his apartment but he didn't trust his mother not to. He got to his apartment but when he went to open his door, he froze. He didn't want to go in there. He didn't want to see the woman on the other side; he definitely didn't want to talk to her. What was there to say? After all this time, he didn't feel there was anything to say. He had his own life and this woman was a stranger to him now. If it wasn't awful, it would at least be awkward.

He sighed and opened the door, deciding to just get it over with. H walked inside to find Lucy sitting on the couch with her back to him was the woman he hadn't seen in years.

"Sheldon." Lucy said and their mother turned to see him.

"Lucy, could you give us a minute alone, please?" Clora asked.

"Oh…sure." The girl stood up and walked into the other room.

Lucy's disappearance didn't make things easier and the two stayed in tense silence.

"If no one's going to talk, can I leave again?" Sands said.

"Would you even have seen me if I didn't make Lucy come here?"

"No."

The quickness of his answer took her aback. "Do you really hate me that much?"

"I'm not your biggest fan. Don't act shocked." He said when he saw her face. "It's hardly news after nearly sixteen years of no contact. If I liked you people, I might have sent a postcard or maybe told you where I lived."

"But…"

"What? What do you want from me? Lucy wanted money, I gave her money. She needed a place to stay; I gave her a place to stay. I didn't have to. It's not my fault that you couldn't manage to keep a fifteen year old from fleeing the state on her own. That's your fault. You're the one at fault here. I did everything I should. I'm not doing anymore. Go home, take her with you and pretend I don't exist."

Clora frowned at him. "I'm your mother."

"I don't care! I mean, what are you expecting from me? I haven't been home to see any of you in fifteen years! I haven't even tried to contact you. I actually went out of my way to try and ruin dad's life before I left, why do you think I'll have a sudden change of heart because you showed up? I didn't want you around when I left and I haven't changed my mind since. So take Lucy home and forget about me."

Clora shook her head, obviously upset but resolute. "I can't do that, Sheldon. I've spent too long without you around and now that I know where you are, I can't pretend I don't."

Sands shook his head. "You know what? Stay here."

"Really?" Clora asked with the beginnings of a smile.

"Yeah," He nodded. "I'll find somewhere else to crash."

Before she could reply, he walked out the door.

Instead of going back to Charlie's, his mood was much too foul to go over there right now, he soon found himself sitting at a bar. He was downing his second drink when he looked over to see a man and woman chewing off the bartender's ear. They were smiling widely but all Sands cared about was the fact that he wanted another drink and they were keeping him from it.

"Uh, excuse me? Bar guy? Could I ask you to do your job for a second?"

The bartender left the couple and walked over to him. "Thanks for that, they damn near chewed my ear off. Another one?"

"Definitely." He looked over at the still smiling couple. "Why are they so happy anyway?"

"They've gotten the bright idea to elope or something. Parents don't want them together, different religions or something, but if they get married, there's nothing anyone can do about it." The bartender shrugged, handing over Sands' drink. "Here you go."

Sands' eyes were still on the couple before he looked back at the bartender, his thoughts on what he'd just said.

"Don't go anywhere. I'm going to need a lot more drinks."

Later that night, in the early hours of the morning, Charlie was awoken when there was a knock on her door and immediately felt the fear bubble up inside her.

_Barry?_

_He wouldn't knock on the door and wait for you to invite him in, genius._

Charlie got up, putting on her robe and crept to the door so she could see who it was through the eyehole. She didn't make it that far though before they made themselves known.

"It's just me, sugar."

Charlie rolled her eyes and went to the door. "Sands? It's the middle of the night; I didn't think you were coming back." She saw him leaning against the frame and the smell of him clued her in. "Have you been drinking?"

"Oh yeah, a lot. Can I come in? Thanks." He stumbled inside. "Said I'd come back, didn't I? Here I am."

"Why didn't you use the key I gave you?"

"Oh…Forgot I had that. Hope I still have it somewhere." He frowned.

"I'm guessing things with your mom didn't go so well." She closed the door and turned to him.

"Forget you moving, I think I need to move. Woman knows where I live now." He walked over to the bed and sat down.

Charlie walked over to him, deciding to indulge him. "Where are you going to move to?"

"Anywhere but that place. If I had my way, I'd never go back. Maybe I could move in here, that'll solve all our problems."

"Or create a whole host of new ones." She stood in front of him.

"Not if we do it before my suspension is up. We could be real sneaky about it. CIA can't do anything if we make it official."

"Official?" She frowned.

"You know, get hitched, tied down, mister and missus."

"You want to get married?" She couldn't help but smirk as she folded her arms. She was going to love teasing him with this in the morning. She'd missed her last opportunity just before his eye transplant when he'd gotten high on sleeping pills and told her he loved her because things between them were awkward then but now, she'd really mock him to death.

"If we did it while we're outside their control, they couldn't do nothing about it." He shrugged. "We should just do it, just get married so no one could get in the way."

"Why don't we sleep on it?"

"Alright." He grabbed her arm and pulled her down to him as he lay back on the bed and she fell on top of him. The sudden movement caused a lot of pain to her torso but she didn't say anything. "Let's go to bed.

"Oh my God, you reek of tequila." She grimaced.

"Well I have been drinking tequila. Think you could marry a man who drinks tequila?"

"I'd have to think about it."

"Go to bed with a man who drinks tequila?"

"Not tonight."

"Come on." He grinned, pulling her waist to him.

"No." Charlie pressed her hands against his chest to push herself away. "We can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're drunk so you can't consent." She smiled, trying to placate him. "I wouldn't want to take advantage of you."

"Like I did to you?"

Charlie frowned down at him. "What?"

"In Florida, the first time. If you hadn't fallen asleep, I would have definitely 'taken advantage' of the situation. Definitely, definitely."

Charlie didn't like to hear that. She knew it because he'd said it before but she still didn't like hearing it. "Okay, maybe you need to go to sleep."

"I don't want to go to sleep." He tried to smirk. "Not when you're in bed with me, you should know that by now, sugar."

"Well, sometimes you don't have a choice because I like to sleep." Maybe if she agreed to sleep too, he'd do it. If he thought she was staying awake, he'd stay awake.

"So you do remember Florida." He chuckled.

"Vaguely."

"And you didn't hate me for it."

"I did for a while. It was a rotten trick, to try and take advantage when I was drunk."

"It worked on you before."

Charlie looked at him in shock. "What did you just say?"

"Is that why you were so mad? It brought back some bad memories? I bet that's what it was."

"Sands, if you stop talking and just go to sleep now, I might forgive you in the morning. Quit while you're ahead."

"What? It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about. Me and Wyman had the same idea. I know we did because I hate myself for it every day."

"Well, don't make me hate you too. Just go to sleep."

"You gonna think on my marriage plan?"

"We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Fine."

"Go to sleep."

The next morning, Sands woke up with a splitting headache. He cracked open an eyelid to find himself in Charlie's bed.

_How did I get here?_

It was still very early morning, the sun wasn't up yet but it was beginning to if the greyish skies he saw through the sliver between the sheer curtains that covered the balcony doors were anything to go by. Sands noticed something was missing though.

_Where is Charlie?_

She wasn't in bed with him. He looked around but didn't actually see her until he turned in the bed and saw her asleep over on the couch with a blanket pulled over her. He found that a little strange. He only had a vague recollection of turning up here last night but even so, why did she sleep on the couch and he got the bed?

Charlie was awoken to the feel of a slight prodding.

"Mac, wake up."

She opened her eyes blurrily to see Sands sitting on the chair at the side of the couch by her head. "Sands?"

"Yeah sugar, I'm going to take off but I thought I should let you know so you don't think I'm drunkenly wandering the streets." He smirked. "And to let you know your bed is vacant again."

"How are you feeling?"

"Shitty." He replied honestly. "But I can feel shitty somewhere else."

"Not your apartment?"

"It's occupied at the moment."

"Then you should stay. Where else are you going to go?"

"Ouch, sugar. But seriously, I'm fine."

Charlie sat up. "You should at least eat something before you go."

Sands smirked again. "You can't cook, sugar."

"But I can go fetch breakfast which is just as good or better depending on where I go."

"No, it's still early and it's freezing. I'm just going to head and…" Sands trailed off; trying to think of something he could possibly do with himself. "I just woke you up to let you get back into your own bed."

"Sands, will you please just stay? What's the point in leaving when you don't even want to?"

"How do you know I don't want to?"

"You said so last night."

"I was drunk."

"That doesn't mean you were lying."

Sands sighed. She was right, he wasn't lying.

"Look, I'm awake now anyway and I'm hungry." She shrugged. "You're not forcing me to do anything I'm not going to do if you leave."

"Fine, you stay here and I'll go get breakfast. I'm dressed anyway."

Charlie looked at him suspiciously. "You will come back though, right?"

He had to smile at that. "Yes, I'll come back."

Charlie nodded. "Okay. I'll see you in a while then. You have the key?"

Sands nodded and left the apartment. Charlie sincerely hoped she could trust him to come back.

As it turned out, she was right to.

"That was fast."

"You'd be surprised how many people are still in bed at this hour." Sands said as he walked over to the bed. "Although you would be asleep in bed right now if it weren't for me so maybe not."

"Would you stop? Anyone who brings me breakfast in bed is more than welcome to wake me up for it." She smiled. "And here, I thought you might need this." She handed him a cup which Sands soon realised had hot coffee in it.

"You'd be right." He said, taking it. His hangover hadn't diminished one bit. He lay across the end of her bed as she sat up with her legs crossed.

"Don't know how you can drink that." She said, making a face as they began to eat.

"Everyone drinks it. You're the weird one."

"It's so bitter."

"Says the woman who practically inhales cranberry juice." He indicated to the glass of red liquid on her nightstand.

"Well, that's delicious and good for you." She replied. "Coffee is just bitter."

"Yes, because you're right and everyone else is wrong."

Charlie smirked at him. "Careful, I have a lot of ammo to use after last night."

Sands frowned. "What I do?"

"Oh, you were very chatty."

Sands tried to think back and last night came back to him in bits and pieces. He looked up at her. "Oh my God, I didn't seriously say what I think I said last night, did I?"

Charlie kept her smirk. "Oh yeah."

"Sugar, I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole which is not an easy thing to make me feel."

Charlie frowned. "For what?"

"For saying that about what happened to you last night, with Florida and Wyman..."

Charlie realised. "Look, you were drunk. I know not to take it seriously. Besides, all you were saying about it is that you hate yourself for trying."

"That is not all I said."

"Sands, it's fine." She maintained. "If I was offended, would you really still be here?"

He shook his head, his headache getting worse. "What were you talking about?"

"Huh?"

"If that wasn't what you were going to use against me, what was it?"

Charlie had lost her recent courage about mocking him over his very literal proposal. "Just you trying to get me into bed."

"Sugar, I do that all the time."

"You're just a funny drunk."

Sands nodded. "At least you think so. I feel like a jackass."

"Oh come on, I've told you before that the only part I regret about that night is the fact that I fell asleep. We were in bed again the next day before we were interrupted by Trevor and I was stone cold sober and I would like to point out that I was not drunk when Wyman did what he did. Two glasses of champagne, that was it. What happened with you and what happened with him were very different although what you did was shitty. That said, I still wanted to have sex with you. I never wanted that with Wyman. So, no more talk about those two circumstances being similar, they're not." She waited but Sands stayed silent. "How did things go with your mom?"

"Horrible."

"Don't want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to say. Really. I was barely there five minutes. I told her I didn't want anything to do with her and I left."

"How'd she take it?"

"Better than your dad did."

"Well, no one can top him." She huffed. "He's readying himself to get back to L.A."

"Really?"

Charlie nodded. "Told me last night."

"How? Did he call you?"

Charlie scoffed. "Like he'd do that. No, as usual, I had to go find him. He was at some member's only club with creepy older men. I saw some CIA bigwigs there but had to pretend I didn't."

"And he said he was leaving?"

"Yup. Good riddance."

"Are you upset?"

Charlie shook her head but Sands didn't need words to know she was lying. "It's his decision. He can go where he wants and he chose to go home. Well actually, he chose to stay but when I told the truth for thirty seconds, he immediately chose to run again. It's for the best, he will never want to hear or accept the truth so it's better for everyone if he just leaves now. So he's out of my life for good, once and for all."

"I wish I could say the same with her and Georgia but you're going there so I don't really want my mom there with you."

Charlie looked up at him. "Look, I am not going to talk to your mom about anything but your dad's condition. Everything will be professional, I promise. I will come away from Georgia just as ignorant about your past as when I went in."

"I wish I could believe you but you don't need to search hard to figure out why I left that place. All I can hope is that my dad is in a coma."

"Sands…" She looked at him with a frown. "I get where you're coming from but seriously?"

"What? Five minutes with the guy and you'll wish it too."

Charlie shook her head and continued to eat.

"Oh wait, you're offended because your dad just got out of a coma." Sands realised.

"Well done, genius." She said sarcastically. "It was kind of awful to think I put him there."

"How did you manage that? Did you force all those drugs into his system and never told me?"

"Sands…"

"What? It's ridiculous to blame yourself for your parents' dumb choices. I won't do it and you shouldn't either."

They kept quiet as they ate until a loud thud erupted over near the window. The noise wouldn't have scared Sands so much if it hadn't been Charlie's reaction as she jumped violently at the sound, instantly covering her head with her arm.

"Charlie, Charlie…" He sat up quickly and tried to gently take her arm away from her head. She lifted her head up slightly and looked over to the window, her breathing shaky.

"Oh my God…"

"It was just a bird or something, it's fine." Sands frowned. "What was that?"

"I'm sorry…It's just…He came through the window the other night and…I just got a fright."

"You're scared of your own window? Charlie, you have to move."

"No." She shook her head. "I bought the top floor apartment of one of the highest buildings around here and he still got in. What good is moving going to do?"

"What good is staying here and giving yourself a heart attack every time you hear a noise?"

"I'm fine…"

"Charlie. He terrified you. He could do a lot worse to you if you stay here. He could try and force himself on you again and like you said last night, I might not be able to be here to stop him."

Charlie looked at him. "I didn't tell you everything."

Sands frowned. "Okay, are you going to tell me now?"

"He kissed me."

"What?"

"He kissed and I was so scared that I kissed him back. I really hate myself for that because I thought that I'd made it clear to myself a long time ago that I wouldn't do something like that."

"You kissed him back?"

"Yeah." She put her head down and covered her eyes with her hand.

"Why are you acting like you did a bad thing?" Sands frowned.

She looked back up at him quickly. "I…I did. I shouldn't of…"

"What? Try and relax the psychopath with the gun? Charlie, he's insane and he likes controlling you when he can. Trying to fight him off would have gotten you killed."

"I did…Fight him off."

"And he kicked the crap out of you. Imagine if he had still had his gun. He would have put it to your head."

"He did. Before he lost it, he did do that."

"The more you tell me, the more I'm convinced you need to move the fuck out of this apartment."

Sands gathered up the empty cartons and brought them over to the counter. He had to admit, the thought that she'd kissed him back was grating on him but it was irrational. She did what she had to in order to survive. Sands had to respect that. He didn't have to like it though. The thought of his lips on hers made Sands feel very angry but that was the thing, Barry had his lips on Charlie's a lot of times before, probably more than Sands had.

_Probably? Definitely. They were together ten years._

_Ten years. That is such a long time. _

Sands found it really hard to process and he found it even harder to imagine a time when she'd been happy with her ex.

"Sands?" He heard her call from the bed. "What are you doing over there?"

Sands turned. "Nothing." He walked back over to the bed and lay down on his side again. "Just hoping what's been a nice morning given the circumstances is not ruined by any more talk of that fuckmook."

Charlie nodded. "Fair enough. Really, there's no reason to be scared right now."

"Because he won't show his face so soon again?"

"I was more thinking because you're here with me but your thing is good too, I guess."

Sands smirked up at her. "No, your thing is better."

Charlie smiled. "I know."

It only took a few seconds of eye contact for Sands to reach up and kiss her. Charlie didn't pull away because she knew something like this was going to happen, of course it was, and she was more than willing for it to.

She didn't eventually have to pull away though but not because she wanted to, because the way they were angled was causing her torso to bend and after a while, her bruises began to hurt.

"Sorry sugar, forgot about those."

"No, it's okay." She smiled. "Sands, about last night, what I said…"

Sands tensed slightly. "Yeah?"

She looked into his eyes. "I meant it. I don't want to sound like a tease and I hope you can understand why I'm not up for anything too rigorous right now but I did mean what I said last night. I really want to be with you. For good. Is that still an option?"

Sands didn't even think of turning her down. "It is if you say it."

Charlie smiled and kissed him again.

"I love you."

* * *

"I hear you're running away."

Steven turned when he heard Sands' voice in at the door of his office. "How'd you get in here?"

"I'm the CIA; I think I can pick a lock. So you're leaving Virginia?"

"Tomorrow. Just got off the phone with the owner of this place, it's official. I'm out of here."

"Going to even try to say goodbye to your kid?"

"She wants nothing to do with me so she'd probably prefer it if I didn't."

Sands rolled his eyes. "You really are a terrible father."

"Excuse me?"

"You're just abandoning her again?"

"This is what she wanted."

"What? Her dad giving up on her?"

Steven huffed. "I'm not a mind reader! She told me she wanted me gone and I'm leaving! If she's upset about that, I can't understand why!"

"Did she say she wanted you gone? Or did she tell you why you made her want to hate her father and you decided running was easier than hearing that about yourself?" Sands asked. Steven didn't reply. "I thought so."

"She can't want me around and want nothing to do with me at the same time."

"She can. She's the kid, she can be irrational! You're the one who has to try and make things better. You're the one who has to be dependable. It's not her job to tell you how to be a father; she doesn't know what a good father does! She yelled at you for siding with her rapist? She's allowed do that."

"She doesn't want me in her life."

"She wants a good dad in her life. She wants a dad who will side with her, not just send her expensive jewellery and then call her a liar."

"I told her I believed her."

"It's not enough anymore. There's a lot more to it now than just Wyman. She remembers when she was eight; you told her that she was just around to weed money out of you. Maybe you need to stop it with the big exclamations of trying to show how much you love her and talk to her, maybe actually listen to her or apologise to her for everything."

"How can I talk to her when she won't listen?"

"Question, who found you when you OD'd?"

Steven frowned. "Charlie, you know that."

"So that means she was here. Now, why do you think that is?"

"I…"

"To talk?"

Steven huffed.

"And," Sands went on, sitting down at the table. "When you woke up in the hospital, who was in your room? Who went to see you last night? She's given you plenty of opportunities but you just blow them all because it's easier than listening to how much of a screw up you are."

"You know, I don't even remember saying that to Charlie when she was eight." Steven confessed. "I don't remember much about her childhood at all."

"Shock."

Steven looked at him tiredly. "I can't believe I did that."

"You did. She told me. She remembers it very clearly."

"I was drunk."

"Doesn't mean you were lying."

"I wasn't. When I married Gwen, things were great. I was so happy with her but it didn't last long." Steven sighed. "Things were going downhill fast and thanks to my handy little pre-nup, she wouldn't have gotten anywhere near what she wanted. I had been obviously unhappy and that's when Gwen started upping her game."

"Upping her game?"

"Stopped taking her pill."

"Oh."

"Devious little bitch. The night I told her I wanted a divorce was the same night she told me that she was pregnant."

"What did you do?"

"I tried to make it work. I stuck with it and did what she wanted for a while. Things were even good at the start of her pregnancy. We were like our old selves with the thought of a baby on the way. She was especially giddy about it. I didn't know why for a long time."

Sands frowned. "Why?"

"Let's just say, that pregnancy lasted ten and a half months."

Sands was confused but soon realised. "She wasn't really pregnant when she told you?"

"Nope. Those first few months when she was being all amiable and excited about having my kid, she was really just trying to trick me into getting her pregnant for real. I had no clue until I surprised Gwen by showing up at one of her scans and found out how truly far along she was. We got divorced not long after that and not long after the divorce, I had a daughter."

"A daughter who was born just to weed money out of you."

"Which is why, initially, I had wanted nothing to do with her. As far as I was concerned, Gwen had gotten herself into that mess; it was her job to take care of it."

Sands wanted to hit him all over again.

"Then my father came to see me. He had Charlie with him, nestled in his arms. She was so small. At first I wasn't interested but after it being made clear that dad had every intention of keeping her around, no matter what I thought, I had to face the fact that I had a kid. I didn't want one but I had one."

"You do realise that none of what you're saying is Charlie's fault?"

"Well, I know that now but it's kinda hard to not be bitter when you know the only reason she's here is to take your money."

"She's never wanted your money! You're pinning your ex-wife's crimes on your kid! That's an asshole thing to do and it's just plain wrong. The only thing Charlie's ever wanted from you was for you to act like a real dad and I don't know, give a damn about her life. You can't blame Gwen because you didn't do that when Charlie was a kid and you can't blame Charlie because you won't do it when she's an adult. All she knows is you running out on her or letting her down. You're the one who's supposed to prove her wrong which is what she'd actually like."

"How do I do that?"

Sands shrugged. "Maybe stop by her apartment before you leave? Talk to her and when she talks, actually listen to what she has to say. Apologise for being a shitty dad all around and not just when it comes to Wyman. Give her a fucking chance."

Steven was silent for a while. "I'm leaving tonight. I could come by this evening?"

"Don't ask me." Sands frowned. "I have nothing to do with this."

"Then why are you here, trying to give me father of the year advice?"

"Because this is all happening because I messed up. Charlie forgave me now but I want to make extra sure she knows that I want to make things right. So you have to make things not so sour before you leave or else, I'll always be the one who ended up making things with her dad worse."

Steven huffed. "I'll be there at seven."

Sands stood up. "I'll let her know you're coming."

"I thought you weren't going to be there? You had nothing to do with this?"

"Oh, I don't but I'm not leaving her alone. Every time you and she speak alone, she loses the will to live a little so I'm going to make sure that doesn't happen again."

Sands left the mansion and returned back to Charlie's place. He liked that he had a key again and didn't have to knock. It felt right and it also felt safer. If something happened inside this apartment, he could get in straight away. When he walked in this time, all he heard was the shower running. He wondered if he should walk in but decided to leave her be. Her bruises hadn't healed in a few hours and if she wasn't capable this morning, she wouldn't be today. He walked over to the counter and saw her phone sitting there, flashing bright and dark. His attention was taken at the words on the screen.

_New message from: Dean._

Sands had completely forgotten about the new doctor guy and Charlie's little dates with him. Surely, they meant nothing now? She was with him again. Still, why was he texting her? Sands looked towards the bathroom door and heard the shower still running so he picked up her phone quickly and opened the message.

_I'm sorry you won't be able to make it but enjoy wherever you're going. I'll see you when you get back. X._

This made Sands curious so he went through the rest of the messages.

_Me: Hey Dean. I'm really sorry about this but I won't be able to make it next week. I just got called away for work._

_Dean: Aw, what? I was looking forward to it but if you have to go, you have to go. I didn't hear anything about work?_

_Me: It's one of those secret CIA things, only those who need to know, know. I am sorry. I wish I could make it but the CIA has the worst timing. We'll definitely do something when I get back, I promise. _

Sands was itching to either throw the phone against the wall or barge into the bathroom and demand to know what was going on but he did neither. He'd just gotten her back and he didn't want to mess it up. He couldn't resist deleting the last message though, the one he'd opened, if only so Charlie didn't know he opened it. He deleted the message and put the phone back on the counter. It didn't take long for the bathroom door to open and Charlie to step out wearing only a towel.

"Oh, you're back." She frowned. "Where's Buster?"

"Buster…I was going to get Buster…" Sands remembered that's what he'd told her and he had planned to do it but made the detour to her father first. "I forgot to get him."

"You forgot? How? Didn't you go out specifically to get him?"

"I went to your dad's place."

Charlie sagged. "Sands…Why did you do that?"

"Because I could tell you were upset by the way things went down."

Charlie sighed. "And?"

"And, he's coming by later. To listen to you."

Charlie nodded. "Oh, okay. Never gonna happen."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Yeah, he was saying that to get rid of you."

"Sugar, come on. I'm not that easy to fool."

"I know you're not but he's just really brilliant at it." Charlie walked past him to go to the closet but stopped and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for trying."

"Charlie, he'll be here."

"No, he won't."

"Charlie!"

"Just wait." She said before closing the closet door.

Sands huffed. "I'm going to go get Buster! Really, this time!"

"Don't find any more of my family!"

"Believe me, I don't want to!"

At quite a long time after seven, Charlie was lounging on her couch with Buster at her feet as she read a book. Sands was pacing and most likely making a dent in her floors.

"Sands, why don't you sit down? And forget about my father?"

"No, he said he would be here and I believed him. He did not trick me."

"Whatever you say." Charlie said as she turned the page.

"Don't do that, he'll be here. He said he'd be here soon."

"Sands, I spent the first seventeen years of my life hearing that he'd be here soon. He never came."

"It's different, you were a child, I am a fully grown man. I am not as easy to lie to."

Charlie closed her book and got up, walking over to him. "Thank you for trying."

Sands placed his hands on her hips, trying to not grab any bruised areas. "Your dad's an asshole."

"Yeah but we knew that. It was nice you tried though, I know it's not something you usually do."

"I just figured you should get something out of all this and then I wouldn't seem like such a fucker for bringing him back into your life in the first place."

Charlie smiled. "So you were only doing it so you would seem better?"

"You're surprised at the ulterior motive? Really?"

"Not at all."

"Oh good. Even though I failed miserably, can we still be back together?"

Charlie had to laugh at that. "I'll do one better." She reached up on her toes to kiss him.

"I really doubt your bruises have magically disappeared since this morning, sugar." He pointed out when the kiss ended.

"No, you're right. But I think lying in bed and kissing is okay." She smirked.

"Yes, let's definitely do that."

It didn't take the two long to migrate to the bed and afterwards, it didn't take long for them to forget that they weren't supposed to be having sex.

"Sugar," Sands parted his lips from hers with a hiss when her hand travelled inside his underwear. "Don't do that."

Charlie frowned. "What? Why? I thought you'd like it."

"I really do but if we can't end up having sex, it'll be more torture than enjoyment."

"You've had your hand under my top all night though."

"I know but your hand down there will only lead to very good things which is bad right now. We'll get carried away and you can't afford to get carried away."

"Maybe we can…" She said. He poked her lightly in the stomach. "Ow! Okay, we can't."

Sands turned to lie on his back. "I fucking hate your ex."

It was then that Charlie remembered something. "Sands?"

"Yeah?"

"I told him we broke up."

Sands frowned up at her. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking. I was just trying to say whatever he wanted to hear. He thinks we're not together anymore but now we are…"

That made Sands think. "You didn't just get back together with me because of him, did you?"

"Of course not." She said, placing her hand on his chest. "I didn't even think about it but if he finds out we are back together, it'll probably make him go crazier."

"There's no probably about it." Sands sighed. "Maybe he'll just think I got with a hot brunette and not recognise it's you."

Charlie touched her hair. "You like it, don't you?"

Sands raised an eyebrow. "Would it matter if I didn't?"

"No."

"Then why ask?"

"I just want to know."

"Yes, I like it. I liked your hair when it was blonde, I liked it when it was red, I like it now that it's brown. I will always find you attractive with any hair colour."

Charlie smiled before leaning over and kissing him again. They continued like that for a while until Sands' phone began to ring. He got up, going to answer it but he wasn't happy.

"On suspension for two months and this is the exact moment they decide get back in touch…" He huffed before he picked up. "Yeah?"

Charlie saw his expression drop as the person on the other end spoke. His eyes flitted to her and away again.

"I'll be right there." He said quickly before hanging up and going to get changed.

"Sands? What's going on?"

"Crowley's at my place with my mom and sister."

"What?"

"Yeah, that was Crowley telling me to get away from you and get over there."

"He knows you're here?"

"If I'm not at my own place, it's a pretty safe bet. Not one I'm happy he figured out though." He sat down to put on his shoes and Charlie crawled behind him to wrap her arms around his shoulders.

"I'm sure it won't be too bad. Crowley does love messing with people after all."

"What if he tells them what I do?"

"He won't, he can't. It's their rule that family can't know. I know you wouldn't tell your family anyway but that still doesn't mean they can break it."

Sands turned to her. "What if he tells them about you?"

Charlie shrugged. "What if he does? Sands, I made a promise to you that I would not get involved with your family and I meant it. Even if your family does realise about us before I even get to Georgia, it won't mean anything. You know I try to have as little to do with the patient's families anyway. I go in, do my job and come out. If your mother asks me something personal about me or you or both, I'll tell her that I have to be professional and that means not discussing my personal life in work. Outside the hospital, I'll never see her or anyone else."

Sands sighed. "I know it's for your own safety and I told you to go but I really hate that you're going to Georgia and I'm going to be stuck here, wondering what might or might not happen. You're not going to be able to call me if you're hiding out."

Charlie hadn't thought about that. "Then you should trust me to stick by my word."

Sands couldn't help but think back to the text message from a while ago. "It's them I don't trust." He said, leaving out any indication if he did or didn't trust her. Not until he knew more about that new doctor guy.

"You better go, don't want Crowley calling again. Just know that I'm not going to let anything happen with your family, I swear."

Sands kissed her. "Hopefully I'll be back soon."

"Take your time. And by that I mean don't look suspicious."

Sands nodded and left her apartment. When he was gone, Charlie let out a sigh and lay back down on the bed.

Then her phone rang.

* * *

"What are we doing here?"

Sands huffed. "I was told at the same time as you so I know just as much as you do, clearly."

"Don't backtalk." Lucy frowned.

"Kid, do not even try it right now." Sands said. "You're lucky I even brought you, no one said you had to come."

To say Sands was in a bad mood was an understatement. After being dragged away from Charlie's bed, he got back to his place to find Crowley pleasantly chatting with his mom. After explaining that his father could be covered under Sands' insurance, he gave them directions to a hospital centre in Arlington, fifteen minutes away. Then he left. Sands was confused and he was not anywhere near happy about having to drive his mother to some hospital.

_Fucking Crowley._

The elevator stopped and the doors opened on the floor they had been directed to.

"Is that Mister Crowley going to meet us here?" Clora asked.

"Once again, I was standing right next to you." Sands said. "I do not know."

He was about to go to the nurses' station and figure out why he'd been dragged her but stopped when he saw Charlie walk out from behind the swinging doors and up to the nurses' station. She was wearing her white coat over one of her work dresses and talking to the nurse she had handed a chart to. Sands began to realise what was happening when he saw Trevor follow in Charlie's footsteps and begin talking to her. Thinking quickly, he gently reached into Lucy's coat pocket and slipped her phone out of it, putting it into his own pocket. He thought he might manage it before Lucy spotted her but was out of luck.

"Hey, isn't that-?"

"Lucy, can I use your phone?" He asked quickly, talking over her.

Lucy reached into her pocket and frowned when it wasn't there. "Where is it?"

"You probably left it in the car." He grabbed her arm and looked at his mom. "We'll be right back."

Lucy indicated to Charlie. "Aren't you going to say hi to-?"

"Come on!"

He pulled her away quickly and down the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator.

"Don't you have your own phone you can use?" Lucy asked.

"Here." He took the phone out of his pocket and gave it to her.

"Hey! Why-?"

"Shut up. Look, you cannot act like you know Charlie. You have to pretend she's a stranger."

"Why?"

"Because that man she was talking to is our boss."

"You're not a doctor."

"I know that." He said through gritted teeth. "Just listen to me, the reason Charlie and I broke up is because it is against the rules for us to date. If our bosses found out that we've been meeting up outside of work and that you know her, we will both get fired. Do you want that?"

"No."

"Good. So you have to pretend like you've never met her."

"But what if she acts like she knows me?"

"She won't."

"What if I slip up?"

"You won't. Don't even look at her if you think you will, just play with your phone. Lucy, this is really important. That man cannot know that we see each other."

"That doesn't seem fair. You shouldn't have to hide."

"Well we do and if Charlie gets fired, she won't be able to help your dad."

"Our dad."

"Whatever. She won't be able to treat him so don't acknowledge her."

"Okay."

Sands nodded and walked back up the stairs, walking out the door to see Trevor speaking to his mother. Charlie was standing next to him. They walked over.

"Where did you two go?" Clora asked.

"I lost my phone." Lucy said, holding it up. "I made Sheldon help me find it. Turns out I left it in the car. He has keys so-"

Sands pinched her discreetly to get her to stop talking and she shut her mouth.

"As I was saying," Trevor continued. "I just got off the phone with Baptist Memorial in Georgia and they've agreed to let Doctor Macintosh fulfil her duties there."

Clora and Lucy beaming but Sands wasn't.

"So she can come to Georgia and look after him there?" Clora asked. "Where he'll be comfortable?"

"Our duty is to make sure your husband has the best care."

Clora looked at Charlie. "But this is only if you would be willing. We understand if you wouldn't feel it's the best course of action for yourself."

Charlie didn't know what to say now that she had the option right in front of her. Along with Sands' mother. She hadn't expected to feel this awkward in front of the woman. "Well, it is my duty to do what's best for the patient…But I do have other patients…"

"Not anymore." Trevor said.

"Since when?"

"Just now. I'm taking you off their service as of right now. You're completely free." He smirked. Sands glared at him, knowing he was enjoying the whole thing.

"Oh, well…" Charlie struggled to find an excuse, especially with Trevor watching her. "Then I'm going to Georgia."

Sands couldn't be happy until he had a little idea of his own.

"Mister Hartford, if Doctor Macintosh needs to go with my father, then I can only assume his condition is quite serious or else you wouldn't be able to free her up."

Trevor didn't seem so smug anymore. "So…?"

"So isn't there a clause in our contracts that state if a family member is in a situation where they are very sick, we're allowed to visit our families if we feel we need to and stay there until the family member is well or God forbid, they pass?"

Charlie thought Trevor's head would explode. "Technically, yes…"

"Technically? But that is in our contracts? It's a…_Rule_ of the job?"

"Well, yes…"

"And my father is in such a condition that he needs the head of the medical department to travel home with him?"

"That is…"

"Isn't that what you just said?"

"Yes it is."

"I guess I better go home, then." Sands shrugged. "You know, to take care of my family."

"Really, Sheldon?" Clora asked. It looked like all her birthdays had come at once.

"If Mister Hartford, who's been so helpful so far, says it's alright and seeing as he's just given an indication that there's no reason why it shouldn't be okay, then yes. But like I said, it's up to the very helpful Mister Hartford."

Sands smirked at Trevor to see him trying to hide his fury. "I suppose…If you feel you need to be there for your family…"

"Yup, for the family." Sands kept smirking. "I'd hardly be going for any other reason."

"Then I guess time off would be applicable."

"And as I recall…" Sands went on. "That's paid leave?"

Now even Charlie felt he was going too far.

"So it is." Trevor gritted. "Well, I'll just make the arrangements for flights."

"Thank you so much for everything." Clora said.

"Yeah," Sands nodded. "Thanks a bunch for letting me do this."

Charlie had a feeling 'this' meant letting him trap them into a corner after trying to trap him into a corner.

Sands didn't think he'd lose his smile all night.

"Oh, I'll be so happy to have you home, Sheldon." Clora beamed. "Everyone back home will be so happy to see you."

With the thought of meeting everyone from his past, Sands' smile immediately dropped.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

"You're seriously going to do this?"

"Hey, as I see it, the CIA is paying for a vacation for the both of us. That's pretty great."

Charlie looked over at him, lounging back on her bed, reading some book with his hand behind his head, from where she was cleaning up her apartment. "But I thought you didn't want to be anywhere near your family?"

"Oh fuck that, I'm not going to be."

"But you told your mom and sister that you were going to Georgia for them?"

"Yeah, and…?"

"So they're going to expect you to be around?"

Sands frowned at her. "I'm not really understanding what you're getting at."

"You're really not going to bother with your family while you're there?"

"No."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"Be with you."

"I'm going to be with your family all the time!"

"Not all the time, you're not staying with them." Sands looked over at her quickly. "Are you?"

"I don't know where I'm staying yet but I can safely say no."

"Oh good, you can stay with me."

"Why? Where are you staying?"

"My house."

That made Charlie look at him quickly. "Your what, now?"

"Oh yeah, I have a house in Georgia."

"You do?" She frowned. "I thought you left Georgia completely when you left home?"

"I did."

"Then why do you have a house there?"

"Long story."

"Get out."

Sands huffed. "Fine, I'll tell you." Charlie walked over and sat on the end of the bed by his feet, one leg curled under her. Sands sighed. "When I was a kid, all my dad ever wanted was to own our neighbour's acreage. She was some crotchety old woman who did nothing with it after her husband died outside of tend to her own garden and she had acres upon acres of this fertile land that was left bare until it stopped and my our family's fields started. All he ever wanted was to get his hands on that land. He offered her money and then more money and then more money but she wouldn't budge. They hated each other. Right before I left for Virginia, I went to see her. At first, she wanted nothing to do with me until I told her my proposal."

"Which was?"

"I'd make payments to her every year she stayed there and when she died, she would leave me the house and all the land in her will. She had no family or none worth considering so once we hashed out her price, she agreed. I made the payments up until four years ago when she died and sure enough, when her attorney read out her will, she left me everything."

"So you gave the property to your dad?"

"No, I still own it. I did all that work so my dad could never get his hands on it."

"But, why?"

"She did it as a final screw you to him and I did it for the same reason."

"So, do you do anything with the land?"

"Not a damn thing. He tries to use it from time to time but I just get lawyers involved and it gets put to a stop. If I had any sense of fun, I'd pour chemicals or something all over it and make sure he could never use it but the thought of it just sitting there, perfectly good but unused and untouchable must drive him crazy." Sands smirked.

Charlie was silent for a second. "You've never spoken to me about your father before."

"I still haven't."

"But now I know you don't like him."

"I thought that would have been obvious by my lack of talking about him."

"Well, I didn't want to assume although I will admit that I had some elaborate backstory in my head where you had no parents and were raised by wolves." Sands had to chuckle at that one. "That might just be my imagination running away with me though."

"Maybe."

"But now…Thanks for telling me."

"It's just a house and it's not exactly my past."

"So, what happens when he uses the land and you have to go to your lawyer?"

"I figure out if I want to sue him."

"Have you ever done it?"

"No."

Charlie nodded.

"I thought you'd be glad to hear that, that it might redeem me a little."

"Hey, I'm the last person who could badger you about being nice to your father."

"Hear from him at all?"

Charlie looked at him sympathetically. "No."

"Asshole."

"I don't want to focus on him. Tell me more about your house."

"There's not much to tell, I was only inside it once. I have a few files on it in a safety deposit box in my apartment so I'll just fish those out tomorrow."

"Any pictures?"

"There's a few in there, I think."

"Can I see them?"

"Can't wait?" He frowned.

"When will I see it otherwise? The CIA might not be able to stop you going down there but they're not going to let me stay with you."

"They won't know."

"But whoever's coming with me will."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Sands, I'm going down there to hide out. You really don't think they're going to send some form of protection to do it? I think it's Riley."

"Aw, come on…"

"I'm not complaining, he's never hit on me."

"Still, would rather have you to myself away from the CIA without the CIA."

Charlie shrugged. "This was the plan before you ever pulled your tricks."

"It was hardly a trick. I just used the rules the CIA put in place." He closed the book and put it down next to him. "They want to hide behind the rules, so can I."

"Still doesn't mean we'll ever get to see each other unless you're with your family in the waiting room of the hospital."

"Oh come on, we've been sneaking around for the last couple of months. I'm sure we can pull it off in a different state."

"I'm not living with another CIA agent up here."

"Oh God, you'll be living with another guy?"

"It's Riley! I really don't think you have anything to worry about."

"Hey, I am not worried." Sands scoffed. "Especially not over any of those fuckmooks."

"Good because the only fuckmook I want is you." She smirked.

Sands raised an eyebrow at her before pulling her arm and dragging her onto his lap. "I thought I was the smartass?"

"Well you are an ass but you're not always smart about it."

"Hmmm, I need to get you to stop talking." He said before pressing his lips against hers. "Hey sugar, you still have those bruises?"

"I had them when we were in bed a while ago before you left, they're still there now."

"Damn."

Charlie smirked as her hands began to unbutton his shirt. "But I don't see why that means you shouldn't be able to enjoy yourself."

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm." Her lips went to his neck and Sands smiled as his hands roamed up and down her back. She kissed his collarbone and then further down to his chest, her hands pushed his shirt back slightly to reveal more of his skin before going down to his stomach where she heard him chuckle.

"Ticklish, are we?" She purred and Sands laughed.

"Oh God, don't stop now, sugar."

Charlie laughed against his abdomen and goose bumps arose on Sands skin at the sensation. She was just kissing slowly down the trail of dark hair that would lead her to where Sands wanted her as her hands went to undo his belt buckle and jeans when she was interrupted by the sound of a phone ringing.

"What are you doing? Don't stop. You were so close." Sands whined when her lips left his body.

"That's _your_ phone, Sheldon." She said with a smirk from her position against his abdomen. "I can't take your attention when someone else obviously wants it very much." She chuckled and Sands stomach lurched pleasantly at the vibration against his skin.

"Yes, yes you can. I care more about my enjoyment than whoever is on that phone." He said. He felt her reach down for his jeans and in the process her hand brushed against him. "You did that on purpose." He hissed and he heard her laugh. "Leave the phone, Charlie."

"Moment's ruined, Sheldon." She said plopping the ringing phone onto his stomach. "Don't worry; I'm not done with you or your enjoyment."

"Okay, how about this, I'll talk to whoever's on the phone but you can still be down there..."

"No!" She said feigning mock shock but couldn't keep a laugh out of her voice at him. She brought her lips up close to his. "You wouldn't be able to handle it." She whispered against his lips before placing a light kiss there and moving away.

Sands huffed and picked up the phone. "Hello?!" The person on the other side spoke. "Riley, huh? Well, that's a surprise." He smirked at her as she swung her leg over him so she wasn't straddling him anymore and got off the bed. He watched her as she walked around to her own side of the bed and began undressing. "I don't think…" He trailed off as he watched her. "Look, it's late and I was in bed, can't you give me the brief in the morning?" Charlie put on her nightdress and got into the bed, under the covers. "Okay, great. Bye."

He hung up the phone quickly. "Damn Trevor knows how to cockblock. What are you doing?"

Charlie looked at him inquisitively. "Oh, was I doing something? I can't remember…"

"No, no, no, do not do this to me."

"Okay, I won't. I thought you'd like it but whatever."

"Wait, what'd I just do to myself?" He frowned.

"Screwed yourself over more than I will tonight." She smirked.

"Have I mentioned that I love you lately? I really love you."

"You are shameless."

"Hey, it's not a lie. I'm just using the fact strategically."

Charlie smirked and got out from under the covers and straddled him again.

"Would I really be that mean?"

"Yeah, you would but I'm glad you're not to me."

Charlie smiled and began kissing down his body again. Just as she was about to go exactly where he wanted, she brought her head back up again.

"You will…?"

Sands couldn't help but smile. "Yes sugar, I will warn you and no I will not pull her hair. Don't I always follow proper etiquette?"

"Okay, I get it. I'm terrible at this stuff but if you an ex like me, you'd be apprehensive too."

"If you don't want to…"

"Oh, I never said that." She smirked before he felt her mouth and hand on him.

"Oh wow, sugar…"

Even her hand gently squeezing inside his thigh was undoing him. He really didn't think that would intensify the experience but when it moved up and splayed across his stomach as her fingers softly grazed the skin, his hand flew to hers to keep it there. He felt his body tense as she continued her wet caresses. She felt dread fill her when he buried his hand in her hair, thinking he was going to start moving her this way and that but he simply stroked with his thumb. It was actually kind of thrilling for Charlie to hear his strained breathing and feel him tensed muscles and know she was what was causing it. He'd done it to her so many times; it was satisfying to know she was just as capable of making him feel the great things he could make her feel. Sands was delightfully surprised when she started looking up at him with playful eyes.

He wished it was longer but eventually, he spoke up as he took his hand away from her head.

"Sugar? That…Warning you wanted? It would be coming around now."

Sands felt when Charlie's mouth was replaced with her other hand which was still warm and soft. He never thought that would feel as good but he was so close, her firm stroking undoing him.

"For someone's who terrible at that kind of thing, you are really, really good at that kind of thing." He panted.

"Hmm, it's my proudest achievement." She pushed her hair behind her ear as she sat beside him. "So, that was Trevor on the phone?"

"A whole ten seconds before you wanted to change the subject, that's a new record." He smirked at her.

"Sorry. I like making you feel good but I'm not comfortable talking about it in detail."

"Yeah, I got that. It's alright, I like you knowing that I love you and I like being affectionate at it but I'm not good at either."

Charlie smiled. "I guess we are good for each other then."

"Well, I could have told you that."

* * *

"Well, everything is looking good. How's the morning sickness?"

"Never in the morning." Melissa huffed as she clambered onto the bed next to the sonogram.

Charlie smiled. "That's normal. Lift your shirt, please."

Melissa lifted it up and Charlie applied the gel. "When is it going to stop?"

"It depends. Some first time mothers have it through the entire pregnancy."

"Oh God, stop."

"Ask your mom or any other female relatives, it can usually give a good indication."

"How do you know about all this stuff? You're not an OBGYN too, are you?"

"No but when you're in your fourth year of medical school, you have to do a residency in a hospital. Usually, most specialities can be filled beforehand but you can take a transitional year if you're not sure what you want to do. I was still pretty young when I was going into mine so everyone decided it would be best if I took the transitional year, figured out more about the career and gained a bit more social experience since I had none. I basically got an internship in a hospital and went through a lot of different specialities, including prenatal, before I choose. I've done this a couple of times but I'm not an expert. I just brushed up on things, got used to doing ultrasounds again and things."

Melissa nodded as Charlie began the ultrasound. "So…Do you know who the father is yet?"

Charlie looked from the computer to her. "I need to take a sample from the baby first. I can either do it by taking a prenatal DNA test or I can wait until the baby is born and do it that way." She looked back at the screen. "Well, everything looks good here." She pointed to the screen. "There it is, your baby."

Melissa looked at the screen and Charlie was pleased to see her looking overwhelmed in the good way. "Wow…"

"If you want, I can tell you the sex." Charlie offered.

"You can?"

"Yeah, from the way it's angled, it's pretty clear."

Melissa was silent for a few seconds. "Okay, tell me."

"Are you sure?"

"Gotta start buying clothes and I really want to do the pink or blue thing."

Charlie smiled. "Go for blue."

Melissa looked at her. "I'm having a boy?"

"You're having a boy. From what I can see, a perfectly healthy boy."

"Oh my God…" Melissa starting beaming. "We have to go out to celebrate."

"Wait, what?"

"Oh come on, Charlie, you're the one person I've trusted through this entire thing and I'm dying of boredom having nowhere to go and no one to go out with. Ever since I got pregnant, all my friends have all of a sudden become busy all the time. Shows what kind of friends I have. Had."

Charlie had to admit, she felt the same sometimes. If she didn't have Sands, she'd never speak to anyone and she never went out. Maybe it'd be fun and hey, Melissa was pregnant, they were hardly going to be going somewhere crazy. "Okay, sounds fun."

"Really?"

"Sure."

* * *

"I really don't think I need to keep taking it."

"Why so?"

"I feel much better than I have in weeks." Charlie explained to her own doctor later that day. She had made an appointment to see about coming off Zoloft. "I'm sleeping more."

"Are you getting through full nights?"

She sighed. "No."

"But you are tired?"

"Exhausted."

"Is it still the nightmares?"

"They're less frequent."

"How about eating?"

Charlie wasn't so quick to answer that one. "It's getting better."

"The panic attacks?"

"Barely even happening anymore. I get shortness of breath sometimes and dizziness but not half as much as I used to."

"When you operate?"

Charlie put her head down. "I still don't feel confident enough to do it but I think with time…"

"Why do you think you need to come off the medication?"

"Well, the truth is I'm back in a relationship and I'm really happy about it."

"Charlie, I hope you know the using someone else as a crutch isn't a good idea."

"I'm not using him as a crutch; he just genuinely makes me happy."

"When you say you're back in a relationship, does that mean you're back together with your ex?"

She bit her lip. "Yes."

The doctor surveyed her. "I'm sorry but until your patterns regulate a bit more, I don't feel confident taking you off the medication. That being said, maybe we can reduce it for the month and see how that goes."

Charlie shrugged, defeated. "Alright."

"Also, I'd like to take a blood sample, just to check on things. You've lost more weight and you're pale. Also, the exhaustion and dizziness worry me."

"When will I get the results?" She asked. "I have to go away for works in a few days and I won't be contactable."

"I'll try to get them as soon as possible."

As it turned out, as soon as possible was the next day.

"Charlie Macintosh." She answered her phone.

"Charlie, I've gotten the results of your test back and it turns out, you have a minor case of iron deficiency."

"Anaemia?"

"Yes. It's nothing too bad to worry about. You'll have to start taking iron supplements and your diet will have to improve. All that take out has no nutrients. You need to start eating proper food."

"I can't cook."

"You'll have to learn."

It would have been easier if he'd asked her to learn how to fly, as far as she was concerned but she decided to give it a shot. She was hoping Sands wouldn't catch her doing it because he'd so quickly mock her but she didn't turn out to be that lucky. Though when he walked in, she was more pre-occupied being shocked by his state of dress.

"You're cooking?" He asked.

"You're wearing a tie and have a briefcase?" She asked back.

"I have to wear a tie and have a briefcase."

"I have to learn to cook."

"Why do you need to learn how to cook?"

"Because I have a kitchen. Why do you have to wear a tie?"

"Because I have a meeting. Why-?"

"Stop it."

Sands walked over to her. "You're not going to set your stove on fire again, are you?"

"No." She huffed. She was silent for a second. "Fire extinguisher is under the sink."

"Right." He walked over and pulled it out, putting it on the counter. "Just in case."

"It's tomato sauce." She said. "It's not gasoline."

"Knowing your cooking…"

Charlie threw a kitchen towel at him. "Just for that, you're not getting any."

"Promise?"

Charlie pouted and turned back to the stove.

"Oh come on," Sands walked over to her, wrapping his hands around her waist from behind, resting his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"I know when you say it that casually, you don't mean it."

"No, I don't. You can't cook." Sands said. "Now, what are we ordering?"

"You know, it's people like you why other people don't try to better themselves, making fun of people's efforts."

"Who are all these people? I only care about me and you and because I care about you, I feel I owe it to you to tell you that you can't cook."

Charlie smiled, shaking her head. "You're so mean."

"I know, it's awful. Why do you want to learn how to cook anyway?"

"Because apparently, you had to keep secret that you can cook because I'd make you do it all the time so I'll just learn myself."

"Why really?"

"Went to the doctor yesterday and found out I'm anaemic. He told me I have to improve my diet and take iron pills."

"Is it serious?"

Charlie smiled. "No, once I get it under control, it should go away soon enough."

"Good."

She walked over to the counter and began cutting up a red pepper and Sands walked to the other side. She couldn't help but watch as Sands pulled down the knot of the tie a little, so it wasn't so tight.

"I hate wearing these things." He turned to Charlie to see her not having heard a word he said as she was too busy looking him over. "Charlie?"

"Huh?" She looked up at his face. "Sorry, what?"

Sands raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you have a suit thing?"

"Every woman has a suit thing."

She thought he'd use that to his advantage but instead frowned. "So you like it when I have to wear a suit?"

"I don't hate it."

"Well, I do." Sands said, taking off the jacket and unbuttoning the sleeves, rolling them up to his elbows. Charlie's eyes immediately went to his tanned arms. "I like my t-shirts." He took another knife and began chopping up an onion.

"What are you staring at?" He asked after a while.

Charlie looked up. "What?"

"You keep staring at my arms, why?"

"No reason." She shrugged, hoping she sounded convincing. "Could you put down the knife?"

Sands frowned. "Why?"

"Because I don't think it's safe for you to be holding it during sex."

"We're not having- Oh." He put down the knife and walked quickly over to her side of the counter where she grabbed the tie in her hand about pulled it, bringing his lips to hers. Sands did what she was hoping and began running his hands over her thighs before lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around him. He carried her over to the bed.

"You know, this will be our first time having sex since getting back together." Sands said. "We took our time."

"You should have a wore a suit sooner."

* * *

"I don't know how I ended up doing this."

Charlie stretched as she was lying down on the bed and watched Sands at the counter. "Because you know how to cook and I don't."

The sight of her stretching like that, as she was now wearing only a dark red bra with a gold lace design and matching underwear with his loosened tie around her neck and settled between her breasts, made the knife nearly slip in his hand.

"Careful." She smirked.

Sands looked back down at what he was doing. "You should come with a warning label, sugar."

Charlie chuckled softly. "Well, we could always order pizza and you could come back to bed where everything is nice and soft."

"Not everything will be soft if I get over there."

"Charming."

"It's what you do to me."

Charlie bit her bottom lip. "Come back to bed."

"We're not ordering out again. Your diet needs to improve. You're anaemic."

Charlie turned so she was on her side and her upper body was supported by her forearm. "You're no fun."

"That's not what you were screaming a while ago."

She shook her head, amused. "So, why did you have to wear the suit?"

"Because we hadn't had proper sex since we got back together and since you seem to have a suit thing…"

"Seriously."

"Seriously? I had a meeting."

"With who?"

"My lawyer. He thinks I work at the UN, what with all the languages and travelling."

"Don't you have a lawyer through the CIA?"

"Different lawyer. I have two lawyers. Don't you?"

"I…No?"

"You really should, sugar. Those guys at the CIA are great if you do something with the company but if your own on your own, you could be on your own. The CIA don't want their name attached to bad. Ask Crowley about it. Trevor helped set me up with a good lawyer when I first moved here and he wasn't a complete dick, he organised all the UN backstory."

"Does everyone has a different lawyer?"

"I think so."

"Yet another thing to look into. Why did you visit your other one?"

"Just stuff to do with the house, which reminds me." He walked over to the briefcase and opened it, pulling a file out of it before throwing it over and she caught it, sitting up. "You wanted pictures."

Charlie opened the file and began rifling through the different pictures. "Oh wow, this place is so nice."

"Yeah, it's alright. Nothing like what you used to grow up in."

"It's better. It's a home. It's such a shame that no one uses it." She said, still flipping through the pictures. "Although, you gotta take out the carpets, I bet there are hard wood floors under there and if you blew out that wall between the kitchen and that room there, you could make a really nice…" She stopped when she looked up to see him smirking at her. "I may have a thing for interior design."

"You don't say."

"I'm sorry but it's just, this place…"

"What about it?"

She sighed. "I wish I could have grown up in a place like this. You know, when I was growing up, we moved once a year. My mom would either get married to someone else or convince who she was married to that bigger was better and we'd all move together and that was if I was home, I could have been flitting from special boarding school to special boarding school. I would have killed to just grow up in a nice house like this instead of beach houses and empty mansions."

"I was sympathetic up until the beach houses and mansions." Sands said. "Sugar, I would have killed to be in a mansion growing up."

"Why? It's just your space for your parents, or parent and step-father I suppose, to use. Growing up in a mansion doesn't mean anything except you get lost in your own home or you're restricted from his private area or from the kitchen because you'll be in the way or whatever. Anyway, I said mansions. I mean, I never had a bedroom, I just had a rented room until it was time to go again."

"That explains the lack of one now." Sands said, looking around.

"Like I said, my clothes need that space more than I do."

"Well if you want a house like that, why don't you buy one?"

"I can't afford it."

"Back to keeping grandpa's money firmly out of reach?"

"I only use it in cases of people trying to kill me. This apartment was the last thing I bought with it and that was because this place is co-op and it was the only place I saw where I felt safe from the CIA. Now, I'm determined to make it on my own again."

"You're being rich wrong."

"I always was." She stayed looking down at the pictures. "I would have just liked a home. Maybe that's something I liked about my dad, he never moved around. Always the same place with the circular driveway with the water fountain in the middle like it was some mob boss hideout, bedrooms balconies overlooking the gardens, that curved staircase down to the foyer where his two big wooden doors would lead into his office."

Sands scoffed. "And the kitchen will the skylight, that was nice I had to admit."

Charlie frowned at him. "How do you know about that?"

Sands realised. "I had to go to his house when I was in L.A. Sugar, I'm sorry but I…"

"No, it's not that. It's just…He still lives there?"

"Well, yeah. Why would he…?" Sands stopped when he realised. "He's still living in the house where Wyman…"

"Raped me, you can say it. It won't change what happened if you don't say it." She said. "I shouldn't be surprised. The man only admitted he believed me the other day."

"Still, that's fucked up."

Charlie shrugged. "So, when are you going down to the house in Georgia?"

Sands knew she wanted to change ,the subject so went along with it. "Few days, just to set the place up. I'll drive down on Thursday probably."

"Drive?"

"Yeah, you know I like driving everywhere if I can. I want to have my car with me and anyway, I'm not sticking Buster in a cage on a plane."

"Aw, Buster is coming too." She smiled.

"Yeah, I don't want to leave him with strangers here again at some kennel."

Charlie took off the tie and grabbed a black sweater, putting it on. She got off the bed and walked over to him.

"Well, your mom and sister and I, and Riley I guess, aren't going until Saturday. The medical department's gotta get a few things sorted with your mom." She sat on the other side of the counter. "Can I do anything?"

"No." He said quickly. "Everything's taken care of."

"You know, I'll never learn how to cook if you always take over and don't let me do anything."

"Why do you need to? I'm here."

"Ah yes, the man who lied so I wouldn't make him cook all the time now is offering to cook all the time." She smirked. "You might not always be here with work and the doctor said I have to improve my diet."

"You know, when he said improve your diet, maybe he meant start eating regularly at all."

"I am eating."

"Not as much as you used to. You used to be a hound." She frowned at him. "Which I liked, don't get me wrong but still, it is past tense."

"Actually, the reason I went to the doctor was seeing about coming off Zoloft."

"What'd he say?"

"No." Sands nodded but didn't say anything. "But maybe if I get this under control, it'll help."

"Do you really think you're ready to? Don't forget, I sleep beside you, I know exactly how much sleep you get a night."

"It's getting better."

"Do you really believe that or are you hoping it'll seem better if you get off the medication because it makes it look like you don't need it anymore?" Charlie stayed silent. "Look, before you went back on it, you could barely get out of bed and when you did, you could barely breathe. I get that you want to feel better but the only person who knows you're on this stuff is me and I'm not judging."

Charlie nodded. "I guess you're right. Although Crowley knows too."

"But like we know only too well, he doesn't give a shit about personal lives."

"Mhmm, and Harper."

That made Sands stall his movements. "Harper…"

"Mhmm, the other doctor. Dean."

"No, I know. It's just…He knows?"

"Well, he had to know. He was the one who calmed me down during my first panic attack in the O.R. and made me see the doctor to go back on the medication."

"Well, isn't he swell…" He muttered.

"Hmmm?" She looked up.

"Nothing. Uh, dinner's nearly ready so you wanna get plates and stuff?"

"Sure." She got up and started taking things out. "So, have you packed yet?"

"Packed?"

"For Georgia. I was thinking of starting tonight."

"Starting? How much stuff are you bringing?"

"You don't know how long I'll be down there for. It could be months for all I know." She shrugged. "So, have you?"

"No, I was going to do it tomorrow. Unless you have the day off?" He smirked. "Then I could think of something better to do with my time."

Charlie smiled at him. "Actually I am working tomorrow and I'm going out tomorrow night."

That automatically made Sands' stomach lurch. These were the other plans Harper had texted her about, he knew it." Oh, really? With who?"

"Melissa."

_Now she definitely lying. _"Melissa?"

"Yeah, I had a check-up with her yesterday and she found out the sex of her baby. She's all excited and wanted to go out and I decided it might be fun."

"She doesn't have her own friends?"

"They're not really interested in her now that she's pregnant and by the way, ouch."

"I didn't mean it that way but come on, you and Melissa aren't really friendly."

"Well, that could change. It's just dinner and probably drinks afterwards. For me, not her."

"Oh. Sounds…Fun."

"Not to you it doesn't." She smirked.

They sat at the counter across from each other and began to eat.

"Hmm, smells good." Charlie smiled.

Sands smiled back but there was nothing in it.

* * *

"You're back? Has hell frozen over already?"

"Go fuck yourself, Roche." Sands said as he walked through the halls of the CIA. He was supposed to be meeting with Crowley about the fact that his suspension would most likely be up while he was Georgia but he couldn't help but keep a lookout for Melissa or Harper. He was unlucky going into Crowley but when he was leaving, he came upon the man himself. Mainly because he made a detour specifically to pass Harper's office. And walked slowly.

"Agent Sands."

Sands stopped as the man got up from his desk and walked out of his office. "What?"

"You've missed every check-up I set up to follow up on your ribs."

"Well, considering I left the hospital before I got clearance, I thought I was making it clear I was done with the medical assistance."

"It would take five minutes."

Sands decided to see just how much Harper knew. "Actually, Charlie sorted me out so everything's fine."

"Doctor Macintosh?" Harper frowned.

"Yeah, Charlie."

"Well, that's okay then. I'll write it up on your report."

Sands didn't think that would happen. "Write what?"

"What you just told me."

"About Charlie?"

"Well, if you're blatantly admitting to someone that you don't know that well that she and you have had meetings, I have to assume that's allowed now." He walked back into his office and Sands had to follow.

"You can't write that down on the report."

"You just said…"

"I was bluffing, I didn't know you knew and I was trying to get out of it." He made up quickly. "How do you know?"

"She told me."

"You two must be very close."

Harper looked up at him suspiciously. "Yeah, we are. Is there a problem with that?"

"You know there is."

"For the CIA or for you?"

"I really doubt you care what I think."

"You'd be right about that. And the CIA haven't said anything yet so I think I'm just going to keep going the way I have been. Charlie doesn't seem to mind."

Sands was getting angrier. "Stay away from Charlie."

"Isn't that the CIA's rule for you?"

Sands glared down at him. "I mean it."

"I know you do but that doesn't mean I have to do anything about it. And it'd be especially short notice since I'm seeing her tonight."

Now he was furious. "Look, there isn't any outcome here where you come out the winner. Charlie's always going to choose me."

Harper frowned. "Choose you?"

"Yeah. So I know you might get that special feeling in your pants whenever she throws a look your way or some text message with an arbitrary X on the end but she's mine. She's always been mine and I will kill any man who gets in my way. If she's going to break the rules with anyone, she's not going to risk it for you. So stay the fuck away from her or you'll regret it."

Harper seemed to begin to realise. "So, you're warning me off having an affair with your girlfriend?"

"That's the gist of it."

Harper nodded. "Really? Well, I better tell my fiancé that I'm having an affair. It's our nine year anniversary in three months. And it'll kill Mila. She's our four year old. It's her birthday in two weeks and she's been begging for a princess party. I don't know anything about princesses so Charlie was helping me but now that we're apparently sleeping together that has to stop."

"Organising a party? That's your excuse?"

"It'll have to be."

"Because your fiancé couldn't possibly organise a princess party?"

"He doesn't know anything about princesses either."

Sands froze. "He?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah. It used to be so easy when we thought Mila was a tomboy but she's turning four now and everything is pink and princesses, we don't have a clue. We were so grateful when Charlie offered to help because she had parties like that when she was younger. I suppose I'm going to have to tell Joe that Mila can't have a princess party since I've apparently become straight." He turned a picture frame where Sands saw Dean with another man and a little girl at a picnic, the three of them smiling. "Such a shame, we were a nice family but you're never wrong so...Do you want to tell my boyfriend or should I?"

"Boyfriend…"

"I'm gay."

"No, you're not."

"Okay then. My dad will be delighted."

"But…"

"But?" Harper prompted. "But why do I spend so much time with Charlie if I like men? You ever hear of just being friends?"

"You just want to be her friend?"

"Yes. She's quite a good friend and she's great with my daughter."

"Now I know you're lying. Charlie and kids? Come on."

"You must not know your secret girlfriend very well because Charlie's great with Mila. It was so cute, when they first met, Mila kept calling Charlie Ariel because of the red hair. It's not fire engine red but close enough and Mila's not picky. She kept asking Charlie to take her swimming, it was adorable but you don't want to hear about that, please continue with how I'm sleeping with your girlfriend behind your and my boyfriend of nine year's backs."

"You're really gay?"

"Yup."

"And you have a kid?"

"Yup. Adopted but we're thinking of getting a surrogate for our next one although with the move and everything, we said we'd wait until we're married and settled."

"Married?"

"We're going to have to go out of state and sure, it won't be valid here but we want the ceremony. Things are so tricky but we love each other and if we can call each other husbands, we'll be happy even if no one else sees it."

"So, Charlie…"

"Is definitely invited. You're not."

Sands' jaw was tense. "You gonna report me?"

"No. That would get Charlie in trouble but I will be telling her about this."

"You can't tell her." Sands said quickly, panic building up inside him.

"I can't tell her that the man she's been having an affair with behind everyone's back stormed in and accused me because he cared more about not looking like a fool than he did risking her life? Uh, yes. Yes, I can."

"She'll leave me."

"With your theatrics, she should."

"You have to admit, it looked suspicious."

"You can't even apologise." Dean had to smile incredulously.

"I'm sorry. I thought..."

"Yes, the pictures of my soon to be husband and daughter and me talking about them all the time looked very much like I slept with women."

"I didn't know."

"You don't look properly. You just let your jealousy take over. If you two being together is a risk and you're willing to take risks, Charlie should know that."

"I'll be more careful in future."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I won't go storming into people's offices and accuse them!" He nearly shouted, frustrated.

"But what if Charlie is having an affair with one of them?" Harper frowned.

Sands stayed silent.

"The correct answer was 'I trust her not to cheat on me'."

"What are you, her father?"

"No, I'm her friend and friends look out for each other."

"If you're really her friend, you'll realise that she's been much happier with me than without me. You have to see that."

"Why would you think that being with someone who threatens anyone she comes in contact with is good for her?"

"Look, I wasn't planning this. I just got carried away."

"That's even worse. You can't control your own secret keeping. Do you realise how much trouble you both could have been in if I did tell someone? No, I have to tell her."

"Why?"

"It's for her own good."

* * *

Sands walked inside the apartment but Charlie wasn't anywhere in sight.

"Charlie?"

He turned when he heard her walk out of her closet.

"Hey." She smiled. She was wearing a halter dress that went to her mid-thigh with a mesh pattern on it, almost like a watercolour design. Her hair was done in lose curls and her make-up was done. "I'm just getting ready to go. Will you be here when I get back?"

"If you want." He said. Harper must not have called her. Yet. "So, you're really going out?"

"Mhmm, should be fun." She stood at the counter and transferred things from one bag to another, smaller one.

"You know what'd be more fun? Staying here. I'd make it worth your while."

_And turn off and unplug all your phones._

Charlie smiled at him. "Sounds tempting but I don't want to let them down."

"Them? I thought it was just Melissa."

"No, Dean is coming too."

Sands' could feel the dread fill him up like it was some sort of bile. "Dean. Harper."

"Yeah, Harper. I asked him when Melissa suggested it but he kept saying no. Melissa called a while ago though and told me she managed to convince him. I don't care what you say about her, the girl can talk people around to whatever she wants. I'm glad he's coming though; it'll be his first night out since moving here. He doesn't get a lot of chances with his daughter. He doesn't see her a lot with work so he doesn't go out much but Melissa is persuasive. Anyway, Mila's four so you know; she'll probably be in bed."

"So, you're going out…With a guy…" He tried to make himself sound like he hadn't just barged into the man's office and potentially ruined everything. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be too happy with hearing she was going out with another guy. Clearly.

"Yes, I am." Charlie smirked at him. "If you say you're jealous, I'll slap you."

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous?"

"I have no idea." She walked around to his side of the counter and pressed herself against him, taking his hands in hers. "Why would I ever stray when I have you right here?"

_Stop being so great! You'll just end up hating me more._

"People do stupid things." He said, trying to sound like he was joking.

"Or don't do anything at all. I'm really giving you every opportunity to kiss me and you're not reacting." She smirked.

Sands kissed her. Maybe he could reach over quietly and snatch the phone out of her bag while her eyes were closed.

_She's seeing the guy in about an hour, jackass._

"Hmmm," She sighed contently when the kiss ended. "Is that some of the temptations you were talking about?"

"That and more."

"Well, hopefully you'll still be willing to tempt me when I get home."

_I doubt you'll want me to._

"You know," She smiled backing away from him, keeping her hand in his so their arms were stretched out. "You haven't said anything about how I look. Am I okay?"

"You're stunning."

She laughed quietly. "Thank you. I won't be too long. No doubt Melissa will get tired soon enough and Dean will want to run home to check on Mila." She was interrupted and Sands felt panic when her phone rang. She reached into her bag and fished it out. "Dean? Aw, I hope he's not cancelling."

She was about to answer but Sands held her wrist. "Don't."

"Sands?" She frowned.

"I did something. Something stupid. I'm really sorry."

Charlie kept her frown as she ripped her wrist from his hand and walked away from him, answering her phone. "Hello?"

Sands rubbed his face with his hands and when he looked up, she turned to him with an angry look on her face at Dean's words.

"He did?"

Sands kept looking at her as she heard everything. Eventually, she hung up her phone.

"Get out."

"Charlie…"

"No. No!" She turned to walk up to where the bed was and Sands followed her. She turned to him angrily. "You went to his office? You threatened him? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You were spending so much time with him! What was I supposed to think?"

"I was trying to have more of a life, Sands! I don't do anything, at all. I don't leave this apartment besides work, I don't talk to anyone but you and when you're not here, I don't talk to anyone. I just wanted to do more with myself than sit around and wait for something to happen!"

"So you start spending all your time with another man?"

"He's gay and even if he wasn't gay, even if he was straight and single, you should have trusted me! I'm risking everything to be with you so why the hell do you think I'm going to run off and have an affair?" She fumed. "Do you know what we do? We bring his daughter to the park. That's the most we've gone out together! And yes, I said I'd help him organise her birthday party, I didn't think you'd have a fucking heart attack over it!"

"You did do more! I saw you two go into the theatre together."

"Were you following me?" She frowned.

"No, I was passing and it was the first time I saw you two."

"There were other times?"

"You were wearing the scarf I got you with him."

"What?" Charlie frowned. "This is all over a scarf?"

"Little bit tasteless, don't you think?"

"No!" She shouted. "How many times do I have to say it? Dean is gay! He is not attracted to women!"

"That doesn't mean you can't be attracted to him!

Charlie looked at him angrily. "Are you serious? You really think that I am that untrustworthy? That I am that weak? You want to know why I was wearing that scarf? Because I missed you. I was going shopping with Dean, shopping, and all I could think about was how lonely I felt and how I wanted to be with you. Not to mention, the bruises that were all over my neck that I was trying to hide. And the theatre? My mom sent me tickets to Swan Lake when she found out the ballet was coming here and she sent two. I didn't feel up to going at the time, believe it or not, so I gave them to Dean who asked me to keep the other ticket because his boyfriend, yes boyfriend, didn't like the ballet. That was it. If you had asked me that in the first place, I would have told you all that."

Sands didn't say anything because he didn't know what he could say. She was pretty mad.

"God, we haven't even been back together that long and you are already going behind my back." She fumed. "You really thought I would cheat on you?"

"We weren't together."

Charlie frowned at him. "And you figured I could move on that quickly? That easily? I wasn't acting hurt, Sands, I really was going through a rough time without you and the last thought on my mind was trying to find someone else to take your place. How could you think I would run off instantly and start sleeping with someone else?"

"Because I thought about it." He replied honestly. "I debated with myself about sleeping with someone else."

Charlie looked even more heartbroken than before. "Who?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It does to me. Who?"

"You don't want me to tell you."

Charlie frowned before realising. "It was Waitrose, wasn't it?"

"She offered right after you broke up with me and I didn't say no straight away." Sands shrugged.

Charlie put her head in her hands. "Why her?" She asked. "Why always her, out of everyone else?"

"Because she's always there."

Charlie shook her head. "No, it can't be that. There has to be more to it, you always go back to her."

"There isn't." Sands pressed. "I don't feel anything for Waitrose."

"How can you expect me to believe you when you just admitted that you wanted to sleep with her the minute we broke up?"

"I never said I wanted to."

Charlie looked at him. "You just said-"

"I considered it because I didn't like the realisation that you held all the cards. I was begging you not to leave me and I didn't like that. I thought sleeping with Waitrose would prove that you didn't own me."

"So you did sleep with her?"

"No. Congratulations, you do own me. I fucking hate it but you do."

Charlie didn't seem overly satisfied with her prize. "Well you don't own me and you can't control who I'm friends with."

"I thought you two were more than friends."

"Then you should have come and talked to me instead of going to threaten him."

"I know, I'm sorry."

Charlie scoffed. "You're not sorry. You're sorry you got caught. If Dean hadn't turned out to be gay and he never told me, you would have been satisfied."

"Satisfied? I would have been satisfied that the woman I love was dating another guy? Yeah, I would have loved it."

"I wasn't dating him!"

"If he wasn't gay, I would have never known otherwise!"

"You could have fucking talked to me!"

"And say what? 'Hey sugar, I know we're just back together after I fucked everything up but you know that guy you work with? You fucking him too?' Yeah, that would have gone down really well."

"Because what you actually did was much better?"

"I panicked! It happens!"

"Why? Why would you even think that I'd want him over you? After everything I've done just to fucking be with you, why would you think I'd throw you aside?"

"Because of course you'd want to date another doctor! Of course you'd want to date someone who won't get you killed or who doesn't fly off every month or whatever to go do something that might get him killed. Of course you'd want to date someone where people won't tell you it's a bad idea and annoy the crap out of you about him over and over again!"

"I don't want any of that, I want you! I've always wanted you! You really think I care what anyone else thinks? I don't want another doctor and I don't want someone who wants me because I'm a doctor! I always fucking want you even though you are a complete asshole all of the time!"

"Charlie…"

"No! I've never given you any reason not to trust me! Especially when it comes to a relationship!"

"You were with another guy when we started hooking up!" Sands said.

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes. "Are you serious? You don't trust me because I was with Barry when we met? Oh my God…"

"I just meant…"

"I know what you meant! You always throw that in my face! If you don't like the fact that I left my ex-boyfriend for you then just stay away from me from now on! And maybe remember from time to time that you were the one who started chasing me!"

"I know that! You know I love the fact that you chose me over him."

"Even though it makes me a filthy little adulteress?"

"I never said anything like that. It's not true."

"Then why throw him in my face? As if I don't think about him enough! As if I don't hate myself every day for ever going anywhere near him!"

"I'm sorry I fucking brought him up, alright? He has nothing to do with it."

"Except that he tried to threaten and kill you to stay away from me too."

"Charlie, don't even think about it."

"What? You always say you two are alike. I've always said you weren't but maybe I was wrong."

"Stop!"

"What? It's the truth! You did do the same thing! You're an asshole and you could have gotten us both in so much trouble! Do you not even care about your job anymore?"

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a doctor who fucks their patients."

Charlie looked at him as if he'd just smacked her and Sands instantly regretted his words.

"Charlie, I-"

"We're done."

"What?"

"Getting back together was a mistake." She shook her head. "I broke up with you for very good reasons and I'm just starting to remember them. You are poison. Get out."

She turned and walked up to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and locking it. Sands followed her up slowly and knocked on the door.

"Charlie?"

"Just leave."

From the sound of it, she was pressed up against the door.

"I can't do that. I made a mistake. Actually, I've made many mistakes, just tonight. I'm sorry."

"I don't care."

"Please."

"No. The next time I will be anywhere near you is in Georgia and that's because I'll have to be. I'm done. I can't believe I forgot why we broke up in the first place, you actually need to trust someone to have a relationship with them!"

"Yes, we broke up for reasons but we got back together for better ones."

"And you ruined everything again."

"Charlie, I am so sorry." He pressed the side of his head against the door. "I was just so scared of losing you again."

"Why? I told you I wanted to be with you. Even if I had been seeing someone else, surely getting back together with you proved that I chose you over everyone else."

"I thought that too. I wasn't going to say anything to him, I swear. He was asking me about my ribs and I just got caught up in everything. The guy just seemed so fucking perfect, it grated on me that he might want you to himself."

He moved back when he heard the door unlock and she walked out. Her eyes were red and her mascara had run slightly.

"Charlie, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "You could have gotten us both in a lot of trouble tonight."

"I know that and I swear it will never happen again. I know how big of a mistake I've made tonight."

"I need to time to think about this." She rubbed her forehead.

"Think about what?"

"Us." She said miserably. "I need time to think about if getting back together is the best thing after all."

"It is."

"I thought it was. But you don't trust me and I don't know if I can trust you."

"Charlie…"

"Please just go." She whispered.

"Charlie, I'm sorry."

"Please."

Sands walked down the apartment and out the door. Charlie watched him go and when he was gone, she closed her eyes and cried a lot more.

A while later, Charlie was lying on her side on the bed with her dress still on but her shoes off. Her eyes were still wet but the tears had stopped. When she heard a knock on her door, she got up, drying her eyes. It wasn't Sands because he still had a key so she wasn't sure who it was. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Melissa on the other side.

"Melissa?"

"I wasn't sure if you liked white or red so I brought both." She held up the bottles. "Don't worry; I've begrudgingly accepted the fact that I can't drink either. I have lovely and non-alcoholic crap for myself."

"What are you doing here? I left you a message?"

"Ah yes, the saddest message in the world. And Dean cancelled so I figured something was definitely up. Can I come in or are you going to make the pregnant lady walk even further with the wine and have everyone judge her?"

Charlie stepped aside. "Come in."

Melissa stepped inside and soon they were in deep conversation on her couch.

"So what happened tonight?"

Charlie shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Well, I know it's about Sands."

"How?"

"Charlie," Melissa smirked at her. "Come on, I'm not an idiot. I realised you two were having an affair that day you tried to make me feel better in the bathroom."

"Oh…"

"Don't worry; I'm not going to say anything. I hate everyone there just as much now."

Charlie sighed. "Sands went to Dean's office today to warn him off me."

Melissa frowned. "What? But…Dean's gay, everyone knows that."

"Sands was the last person to realise. Idiot."

"That is so stupid but so cute at the same time."

"It's not cute at all! It's completely abhorrent that he thinks he should be able to control who I have in my life not to mention absolutely mortifying and dangerous. What if Dean decided he wanted to complain to Trevor about the behaviour of one of his agents?"

"Okay, yeah that's true too but I mean, come on. He was jealous which is so cute because it's not something that Sands would ever be. Of course he went about it all wrong and anyway, have you seen Dean? The guy is the real life version of a Disney prince. I mean, if you still had red hair, you guys could work at Disney World as the perfect _Little Mermaid _couple."

"Yeah, he does have that whole perfect thing going for him." Charlie had to agree. "But still, so not a good reason to go in there and completely ruin everything."

"You do spend a lot of time together. I mean, your entire work life is with the guy."

"Dean is gay!"

"Which Sands didn't know." Melissa argued. "But you're right; he could have gotten you two in so much trouble all over some stupid macho contest. So is this just a fight or…?"

Charlie shrugged. "I don't know. I need time to think about it." She sighed, taking a drink. "This sucks so much."

"Especially with you two being stuck in Georgia together. I booked the flights." She explained when Charlie looked at her quizzically.

"Oh right, you know Sands…?"

"Isn't flying, he takes his car if he can. Yeah, I know that."

"Of course you do." Charlie smiled. "You know everything."

"Except who the father of my baby is." Melissa laughed nervously.

"We'll figure it out, don't worry."

Melissa shook her head. "It doesn't matter who it is. No one's been running up to me and asking or saying that they'll be there for their son. No one wants to know which means when the truth does come out, I'll still be alone."

"You won't be alone." Charlie said. "I'll help. Ask Dean, I'm great with kids, although that's apparently very hard to believe."

"I believe that." Melissa smiled slightly. "I'm sure when you have your own; you'll be a great mom."

Charlie smiled back but it was hard. She considered telling Melissa the truth but she didn't want to make the woman feel bad.

"Yeah, maybe."

"You ever think of having one?"

The next day the conversation had also turned to that of Charlie having children as she sat on a park bench with Dean, watching Mila playing with Buster on the grass.

"A kid?" Charlie asked, looking from Mila to her father. "No."

"Really? You seem like you'd be a good mom."

"Oh no, I mean Mila is a great kid and I enjoy spending time with her but I don't think I have the patience to be a mom, or I have too many patients to be a mom." She smiled.

"Not even if you found the perfect person?"

"That's the thing, I thought I found the perfect person, who also didn't want kids, and look at what's happened. I don't think I'm a good judge of people."

Dean sighed. "I hate to say you're better off without him..."

"Then don't say it. Please." The emotion was evident in her voice. "You can't become another person who told me I was wrong."

"I guess the heart wants what it wants. I'm sorry, Charlie."

"Me too."

"Daddy, look!"

The two smiled and waved over at Mila as she called to them, showing off how Buster got the stick she threw.

"Do you think there's any chance of you two getting back together?" Dean asked when Mila was done showing them her trick.

"I don't know. I mean, whenever we fought before, things always went below the belt but this fight was something else. He said that even though you wouldn't be attracted to me, that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to you."

"You're not, are you?" Dean grimaced, inching away.

Charlie smiled. "No. Stop being full of yourself. You're not as hot as you think you are."

"Ouch."

Charlie kept her smile but it was melancholic as she looked out at Buster. "And that was the tamest thing he said. And yet…I know everyone says I'm better off without him but I love him, more than anything."

"Let me guess, no one knows him like you do?"

"They don't." She persisted. "That might sound corny or clichéd but it's true. I mean, he is insane, he is, but there's a side to him that's very, very hard to bring out but I can do it. I think I'm the only person who ever has. And I'm afraid..."

"That if you're not there, that side will go away completely."

"I'm afraid that he'll become the way he was and that nearly got him killed."

"Charlie, you can't be with someone because they're less stable when they can't depend on you. That's not fair to you. Especially when being with him could get you killed."

"But I do love him. Isn't that enough?"

"I don't know, is it?"

Charlie sighed. "I just can't believe he did that. I mean, we just got back together."

"You two broke up once already?"

"Once? We broke up..." Charlie counted in her head. "Four or five times depending on the circumstances."

"And you keep getting back together?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I hate to say it because I think you deserve so much better than a guy who constantly hurts you, but I don't think this break up is permanent either."

She looked at him. "You don't?"

"You two have broken up more times than my daughter's had birthdays and you always go back."

"So, what do you think?"

"Truthfully? You won't get mad?"

"I won't get mad."

"I don't think you two are going to end up together." Dean said. "I think there is just too much aggression there and that you two aren't good for each other. There'll be a fight and it'll be too much and that will be it for both of you. But I don't think it's this one."

"You don't?"

"No. I mean, is this really the worst thing he's done? Panic because he thought he was going to lose you?"

Charlie sighed. "No."

"If you can forgive him for things in the past, you're going to forgive him for this."

"But you don't think I should?"

"Like I said, I think you can do better."

"You think I'll just be hurting myself in the future?"

"I could be wrong but I think if people have fights and break ups this much, that's not a good sign. You two have had more fights than me and my partner and we've been together nine years. How long have you and Sands been together?"

Charlie sighed. "Technically? Under a year."

"Technically?"

"Well, we followed the rules for another six months. The CIA put the rules in place a year ago so we were together for about four and then off for about two, so for the last year, we've been off for eight months and on for four. Last year, we were on for a week in Mexico after knowing each other for about three months, then we were off for about a week and a half, then we were sleeping together but not together for a while until I left for Malibu where I stayed for about five weeks until he came out to find me but we didn't get back together until he found me in Turkey which was about another month later and then we were together for about three or four weeks until the CIA put a stop to it. Overall, we've been on about six or seven months give or take and off about a year but we were off most because the CIA got in the way." Charlie finished. She looked at Dean to see him staring at her with wide eyes.

"Ah."

"What am I going to do?"

"Forgive him. It's inevitable."

"But we were back together for about four days and he pulled this shit. I can blame the CIA for our time apart but if they hadn't split us up, we might have done it to ourselves long before now."

"Charlie, you're asking me questions that I can't answer. I don't know the guy and after last night, I'm not sure I want to know him. The only person who can know if you should get back together with him is you but I'm just saying that last night was stupid on his behalf but I really didn't take seriously, regardless of if he was serious himself or not."

She sighed and continued to look out at Mila and Buster.

"I can't have children."

Dean looked at her. "What?"

"I was shot when we were in Turkey by some guy my crazy ex hired and now I can't have kids. It's okay, I never wanted kids anyway and neither does Sands. I'm not saying that's a good reason to be with him but he was there when it happened and besides you now, he was the only one who knew and he never made me feel guilty about it, even when I wanted to. He was sad too but not because we couldn't have kids, he was just sad that something like that happened to me."

"Well…That's nice." Dean shrugged. "Both of you not wanting kids is a good thing. I can't tell you the amount of couples I seen break up because one was ready to start a family and the other wasn't. You sure you won't change your mind in the future?"

"Even if I did, I couldn't have them."

"I know this may come as a shock to you but I didn't give birth to Mila." Dean said sarcastically. "There are other ways to have children."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I know that but no, I've made my mind up on that front. I don't want children. Don't get me wrong, I like kids…Well, some kids. I like Mila. I like my brother's Chris' kids. On the other hand, my sister Rachel's kids are assholes." She looked at him. "Am I allowed say that? About kids?"

"Oh God, yes."

Charlie smiled. "And I know Sands isn't going to change his mind about it either. It's not even a conversation we're ever going to have to have. I know exactly what he wants and doesn't want out of a life with me."

She then remembered him asking her about marriage and all of a sudden, she wasn't so certain anymore.

"Do you want that?"

"What?" She asked quickly.

"Being in a relationship where you know exactly where you're going." Dean clarified.

"Oh…Yeah, I do. I've had a lot of people promise me things and then let me down and a lot of uncertainty about who I had in my life so I like that I know what I'm getting with him. I like that he's had thoughts about our life together as if he knows for certainty that he actually wants to be with me for good."

Dean nodded and they were silent for a while before he looked down at his watch. "Whoa, it's getting late. We better go. Mila! Time to go, honey!"

Mila held onto Buster's collar as the dog led her back over to Dean. "I don't want to go, daddy. I want to stay with Buster."

"We have to go, sweetie. Charlie needs to take Buster home."

"I'm sorry, Mila." Charlie said.

"I want a puppy." The girl pouted.

"Oh…crap…" Dean grimaced.

Charlie clasped the leash onto Buster's collar. "Good luck with that."

Dean picked Mila up as they began walking out of the park.

"Daddy, I want a puppy too."

"But Buster would be really sad if you forgot about him." Dean tried to make up.

"The new puppy could play with Buster too."

Dean sighed and turned to Charlie as they were about to go their separate ways. "Joe is going to kill me."

"Sorry." Charlie said. "Buster's a pretty lovable dog."

"What about his co-owner?"

"I'm going to go over to his place." She sighed. "Not talking isn't going to get us anywhere and anyway, he wants to take Buster with him when he goes down to Georgia before I do."

"Alright, can you stay in touch?"

"I'll try."

"Do." He touched her arm. "And be careful."

"I will be."

"Good luck."

"Thanks. I might see you before I go?"

"Hopefully. Say goodbye to Charlie, Mila."

"Bye Carly."

"Charlie, Mila. Her name is Charlie."

"No, that's a boy's name."

Charlie smiled. "Bye Mila."

"Bye Buster!"

"Ooh, my eardrums." Dean cringed when the child shouted down to the dog. "Alright, let's get you home, miss. Bye, Charlie."

"Bye."

They turned to go home and Charlie made her way to Sands' place, only to find that he wasn't home. She wasn't sure where he could have gone but she got her answer when she got to her own apartment. Along with something else.

"Oh my God…"

Lying on her bed, dry-cleaned and completely fixed up was the dress she had worn to the ball, the night she had seen her father again. The dress she had shoved into a garbage bag and left in her hallway because she'd been trying to give Sands a not so subtle hint. It was something she'd completely regretted doing since and it seemed that Sands knew she would. There was a note on top of the dress in Sands' handwriting.

'_I told you this dress wasn't ruined, just like you're not._

_I've decided to just head down to Georgia today so I'll see you when you get here. _

_I am sorry and I do love you.'_

Charlie sighed as she sat on the bed, next to the dress and flopped back.

_You have the worst timing, Sands._

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"All ready for Georgia?"

"Just gotta finish packing. You know I'm bringing a dog now, right?"

"It's all taken care of." Melissa said when they were eating lunch in Charlie's office. "You just have to show up at the airport in the morning. And not mention anything about the CIA to Sands' mom and sister obviously."

"Obviously."

"Also, maybe don't mention that you're having an affair with the guy. Might not be a good idea."

"Thought so."

"Are you still having an affair with the guy?"

Charlie sighed. "Yeah, I'll tell him when I get there. If I can. His phone's been off since he went down there, I don't know why. And I doubt Riley will be itching to let me run off and meet him privately."

"Riley…"

"What?" Charlie frowned.

Melissa shrugged. "Nothing. It's just…You have to take the only nice guy around here? Now I'm really going to be surrounded by assholes."

"Sorry, I can't feel sorry for you. I'm happy I got Riley because he's a nice guy. He's _the _nice guy around here."

"Singular."

"Mhmm." Charlie looked at her. "There's no chance that he's your…?"

"Baby's daddy? No, I never slept with him."

"You didn't?"

Melissa looked at her tiredly.

"I didn't mean it in that way." Charlie frowned. "I just meant he's the nice guy."

"Exactly why, I want him to stay the nice guy. All these assholes are nice until you give them what they want. Then they expect it."

"I thought you seduced them?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There was no seducing by either party, just the realisation that the only people that CIA employees interact with are other CIA employees. Believe me; I wasn't coming away from any of them hoping they'd call. Sex is sex, that's all I wanted. But Riley is a nice guy and he's not into that so I don't want to try and make him be."

"That's nice of you, sparing him like that." Charlie smirked.

Melissa threw her balled up sandwich wrapper at her.

Charlie dodged it. "Hey, there's mayonnaise on that and I'm wearing black."

Melissa smiled but both turned looked to the door when it opened.

"Hmmm, I must have lost my invitation to girls' lunch." Waitrose said.

Charlie's anger flared at seeing this woman. She wanted to confront her about Sands but couldn't. What was she supposed to say about the woman propositioning her secret lover only a few days after they broke up? He was a secret lover so she couldn't say anything. No doubt though that Waitrose had seen Sands obviously angry or sad or whatever and immediately used it to her advantage to swoop in. But Charlie could never say it.

"Every time I have to get out my crucifix and make my way to your office, I at least knock." Charlie replied. "Maybe you could have the same courtesy."

"Yeah, I'll think on that. Here." Waitrose put a credit card on her desk. "Your company credit card for when you're in Georgia."

Charlie didn't think she'd get one of these. "Why did you bring it over yourself?" She frowned.

"I just gave Riley his so I said I'd give you yours. Have a great time in Georgia." She said in a sarcastically sweet tone.

"Hmm, gave Riley his and warned him to not let me anywhere near Sands?"

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't have to say it. Goodbye. Hopefully this time for good."

Waitrose left the office and Charlie glared after her. "God, I hate her."

Melissa shrugged.

"What?" Charlie asked. "You don't think she's Satan's mistress?"

"Sometimes she's nice, sometimes she's not. You can be just as mean to her though."

"I'm only mean to her because she's mean to me."

"Maybe she thinks she's only mean to you because you're mean to her?"

"No, she's been like this since the first day I worked here."

Melissa shrugged again. "We've both worked here for years and we've only just become friends even though I tried since day one too."

Charlie was getting more put out. "That's different."

"Okay."

"She's awful!"

"Yeah, she can be petty and have her bad moods sometimes but so can all of us."

"She's especially like that since the office found out about me and Sands."

"Okay yeah, I can't deny that." Melissa said. "But she's jealous. You can't say that if Sands hooked up with her, you wouldn't be the same. Actually, you are the same because Sands hooked up with her before you."

"He hooked up with you before me and I like you."

"Because I try not to be bitter with people, especially the other women around here. Like I said, we're a small group, we should stick together. Not to mention, I'm not trying to take Sands away from you."

Charlie sat back in her chair. "You know, I think she blew Sands'…"

"She definitely did but you shouldn't focus on that."

"…Cover to my dad." Charlie finished shortly. She gave Melissa an angry look.

"Sorry. But come on, you must have thought it."

Charlie didn't reply to that.

"Why do you think she did that?" Melissa asked.

"To get in his good books probably."

"Send the information to your dad, I meant."

"Oh..." Charlie shook her head. "I thought about it when you told me she said I had sex with Thompson to him. She just wants us apart and she's doing anything she can to make it happen."

"Do you have any proof?"

"No, Crowley told me about the…" She trailed off.

"Charlie, I know everything about this company. Nothing you say will surprise me."

"About the printer paper?"

"The embossed codes that get delegated to every office? Yup, I know that."

"Of course you do. Anyway, Crowley told me that if I could get the letter my dad was sent then they could trace back the code."

"So why don't you?"

She shook her head. "The means outweigh the gain. I'd have to ask my dad for something."

Melissa stayed silent.

"Anyway, enough about Waitrose. I don't want to think about when I have to, let alone when I don't."

"I just think that you should give her a chance."

"I could but that doesn't mean she'd give me one."

"Then at least you tried."

Charlie sat back in her chair, feeling bitter which made her feel severely childish.

"Damnit, Melissa."

Later that day, Charlie tried to see if she could follow Melissa's advice.

_Be nice. Just be nice. You don't have to be friendly but you can be courteous._

Charlie knocked on Waitrose's door and waited. She could feel herself instantly get less friendly when the door opened and an agent named Donovan hurried out. She walked in to see Waitrose just going to sit at her desk.

"Did I interrupt something?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, what do you want?"

"To sanitise myself the minute I leave this office."

Waitrose glared at her and Charlie remembered she was trying to be nice.

"Uh, I just had a few questions about the credit card."

Waitrose huffed. "It's in case anything in the house needs fixing or for stocking up on necessities. You want to go out socially, you pay yourself and yes, we do monitor the charges."

Charlie nodded. "Okay."

"Is that all?"

Charlie really didn't see the point in trying. Waitrose hated her and that was that.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Hmm, you're a genius and you couldn't figure that out?"

Charlie resisted the urge to say something horrible. "I just wanted to clarify."

"What? Thought you could get more? Grandpa's money not enough for you?"

Charlie's jaw tensed in anger. "What is your problem? I literally came in here to ask one question and you're acting like the biggest bitch in the world. What the hell did I do to you?"

"I don't like you."

"Why not? What did I do?"

"You're a little suck up. You act like some coy little princess to the likes of Hartford and Crowley to get ahead and then look like you wouldn't spit on the rest of us."

"The rest of us? You're a boss."

"But there's not a chance I'd want to get in your pants so you don't care."

"Are you kidding me? I have never acted like that with any man in this agency and you have men literally taking turns coming into your office and I'm the slutty one?"

"Never? What about Agent Sands?"

"Is that seriously this big of a deal to you? Do you want Sands in a relationship with you?"

"God, no. I don't hate myself, Jesus. I just don't want to lose him to you."

"You never had him!"

"Oh, I had him. I had him a lot more than you think."

"Charming."

"What? You don't want to hear it? How it used to be my apartment he would sneak over to?"

"Ever been to his?"

"No."

"I have." Charlie smirked.

"You might have been in his bed but that doesn't mean you know anything about him."

"Oh please, I know more than you."

"I don't mean about that ooey-gooey bullshit. I mean you don't know what he's really like."

"I think I do but thanks for the concern."

"Oh really? Look up The Flying Cow." Waitrose told her.

"Excuse me?"

"Restaurant in Mexico. Look it up. You'll be surprised but knowing Sands, you'll be the only one." She saw Charlie's confusion and had to smile. "You can get out of my office now."

Charlie left and tried not to let Waitrose's words bother her.

She lasted about an hour.

"Waitress?"

Charlie was currently reading about the murder of two people in The Flying Cowrestaurant, one of the bodies was still missing, and couldn't believe it for a second.

_None of this could be Sands._

_He was over in these places because of trouble in the areas, obviously there will be reports like this surrounding the places he was otherwise he wouldn't be there._

Charlie ignored witness statements from The Flying Cow, the bartender and another waitress who described the shooter as a man who looked and dressed exactly like Sands.

_No, you knew this about him. You knew he killed people._

_Yeah, the people he was sent to stop or their associates or whatever. Not staff in a restaurant for no apparent reason. _

Charlie sat back in her chair, feeling incredibly sick. It couldn't be him. She knew everything about his job at least, the good and the bad. He told her that he killed people. People like Ajedrez.

_Yeah, people who have to be killed or they'll kill him. _

_What was that waitress going to do to him?_

She took out her phone and tried to call him again. She hung up in frustration when she got his voicemail again.

"Damnit, Sands."

* * *

"I hope Buster is alright."

"Are you…" Riley shifted uncomfortably as they sat on the plane, Charlie at the window and him at the aisle, the seat between them empty. "Are you going to give the dog to Sands when we get there? I know you two share him."

"I was going to, why?" Charlie frowned.

"It's just…I've been instructed to be present whenever you go see him outside of the hospital."

Charlie nodded. "Of course you were. Well, you can be there if you want. I can't give him the dog in the hospital."

Riley nodded but still seemed uncomfortable.

"Are you alright?" Charlie asked.

"I just kind of hate being stuck in the middle of you two. I think it's stupid to be honest."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I don't see the problem with you two being together. I mean why should the CIA stop two people, especially if one's not even an agent, from going near each other?"

The way Riley was talking, Charlie had a feeling he wasn't talking about her and Sands. "I have no idea."

Riley saw how she was looking at him. "Excuse me." He got up and hurried to the bathroom.

Riley's seat wasn't vacant long as the minute he had gotten up, Lucy took his place.

Charlie frowned at her. "Lucy, you do know that we're not supposed to know each other, right?"

"Oh yeah, I just told my mom I was coming over to borrow a magazine." She indicated to the magazine settled on the empty seat.

"Oh okay, what is it?"

"Can I borrow a magazine?"

Charlie smiled. "Go ahead." Lucy looked through them and Charlie leaned over. "Hey Lucy, you hear from your brother lately?"

"Sheldon? No, his phone's been off every time I tried to call him. Why? You hear from him?"

"No, same thing." She sighed.

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Uh, I just think he's busy."

"I guess. No one even knew he was back down there until mom called home and told them. No one's seen him."

Charlie had to wonder if he was even there.

"Ooh, that's pretty." Lucy said, looking at the page of a magazine. Charlie looked over and saw the dress Lucy was talking about, right next to an article on threesomes and having a more exciting sex life. Charlie really hoped Lucy was talking about the dress and her eyes didn't veer over. Damn magazines. "I'm going to go back to my own seat. Thanks, Charlie."

"Wait, I don't think your mom would appreciate you looking at that magazine, at least not right in front of her."

"Why?" Lucy frowned, looking it over. She looked back. "What's wrong with it?"

Charlie restrained herself from frowning. Did Lucy really not see? She went back to her own magazine. "Uh, Lucy? Could you hand me that magazine with the article about dressing for summer in Rome?"

Lucy looked down at the myriad of magazines. "Uh, who's on the cover?"

Charlie didn't look up. "I can't remember but the article title is on the cover."

Lucy shook her head. "Sorry, I have to go back to my mom. Thanks for the magazine."

She hurried off and Charlie watched her go.

"What was that about?" Riley asked, coming back.

"Nothing." Charlie shook her head. "She's just a nervous flyer. All the nervous flyers flock right to the doctor like we have some magical solution."

"It's so weird seeing Sands' family. If I had to imagine them, it wouldn't have been like that."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. I guess it's the same if you saw any other agent's family. I mean, we're not a very family orientated company so…"

"You're right about that."

"And no one knows anything about Sands anyway except for you."

"I wouldn't even say that…" She muttered, thinking about what she'd just learned.

They were silent for a while before Riley spoke up again.

"So, you're in charge of Melissa's pregnancy, right?"

"Uh yeah, well I was."

"How is it coming along?"

Charlie frowned at him.

"What? I'm not allowed enquire about a work colleague?"

"Okay, sorry. She's doing very well. She's having a boy so she's very excited."

"A boy? That's great. So, uh…Any news on the dad?"

She frowned again. "You'd have to ask her." Maybe Melissa had lied to her, why would Riley ask otherwise? "Whoever the father is, he's not trying to make himself known."

"That's awful. I mean, whoever it is, that's his kid and poor Melissa is all on her own."

"Yeah, poor Melissa."

"She'll be okay though, she's strong."

Charlie closed her magazine. "Are you into her?"

"What? No! No…No, I couldn't." Riley shook his head. "What? No, I mean she's…It hardly matters now, what with her being…"

"You can still like a pregnant woman. You just gotta be serious about it."

From the look on his face, Charlie had a feeling Riley was very serious.

"How long have you liked her?"

"Uh, since she started working there." He admitted. "I realised I loved her at the Christmas party last year."

Charlie always found it weird that the CIA acted like any other company in respects to things like parties but at least they were fun. She remembered during her first one, finding out that all the decorations on the tree were quite high tech with the ability to hide little messages or have the ability to move and other things. She had a feeling the tech guys had a lot of fun around that time of year.

"Love? Really?" She asked.

"Pretty much. But she was…Occupied."

"Did you ever try and tell her? Ask her out?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You've seen her, she wasn't exactly looking for commitment and I didn't want to be one of those guys. Except now, she's having a baby with one of those guys."

"Are you serious? They are not having a baby; they won't even admit they slept with her. She's firmly on her own."

"Still…"

Charlie looked Riley over. He didn't look like the typical CIA agent by any means but then again, that was kinda perfect for a CIA agent since no one would ever suspect him. He was tall and skinny but Charlie knew from his physical that he was very nicely toned under the shirt and tie and at the moment, sweater vest and blazer. He wore glasses all the time and his brown hair was gelled to the side neatly. He looked more like an accountant than a CIA agent and he definitely didn't look like the guys Melissa had surrounded herself with. He wasn't hard on the eyes but maybe his quiet and sheepish demeanour just meant he was easily passed over. He seemed happy with himself though which was okay by Charlie. A lot of people saw her the same way. He may have been meek but he was one of the best agents in the CIA with a success on every mission and a spotless record. Sands was one of the best agents but even he couldn't boast that.

"What about now that she's pregnant?" Charlie asked. "Do you feel any different?"

"No." He admitted honestly. "But maybe it's just because I know nothing could ever happen. I mean look at me. I really don't think I'm her type."

"Considering what she's going through right now, I think her type has drastically changed."

They both sat back when the seatbelt sign came on, signalling they were about to land. Charlie let out a breath at the thought of what she was getting herself into.

"Do you think so?" Riley asked.

"Think what?"

"That Melissa might give me a chance?"

"Never know unless you try but if you try, the CIA will smack you down like it did me and Sands."

"Oh yeah. Damnit."

"Yeah…" She sighed. "It sucks."

"It's nice that there's someone who knows what it's like though." Riley said. "I mean, the CIA always shove us together and then expect us to not have feelings about it but if someone does just not feel anything for anyone, like Sands used to before you came along, they get delegated to some country with no thought of bringing them back."

Charlie frowned. "How do you know so much about Sands?"

"Oh. Uh…We used to have cubicles next to each other." He fidgeted with his glasses. "I just was in the aim of fire a lot."

"He made your life hell, didn't he?"

"What? No, no. It was fine." Riley lied. "He was fine."

"Liar."

"He got a lot better when he lost his office and had to go back to the cubicle, after…"

"Me?"

Riley nodded. "Not to say that you lost him the office, that's…I wouldn't even know…"

"I didn't."

"I wouldn't know."

Charlie had to smile. The second the plane hit the tarmac though, it dropped. She looked out the window.

_This is not going to be fun._

"Ready?" Riley asked.

"Not even remotely."

Later that evening, Charlie stood outside the house she had only seen in pictures. She walked up onto the deck and frowned when she heard a loud noise come from inside the house but still knocked on the front door. She heard the loud noise stop and a few seconds later, the door opened. Sands was on the other side with his hair tied back and sweaty.

"Charlie?"

"Hi."

"What are you doing here? How did you even find the house?"

"Lucy's not the only sleuth." She joked. He didn't respond. "You told me you bought the house near your family's and I got their address from the records. I tried calling you a few times since you left but your phone's been turned off."

"Yeah, I wanted to be left alone for a while."

"Oh. Should I go?"

"No." Sands said before stepping aside and letting her walk into the house. She looked around to see that he'd obviously been doing the place up. The carpets were gone like she had suggested as well as all the furniture and he seemed to be in the middle of sanding the hardwood floors.

"You're redoing the floors."

"Yeah, I was bored and realised you were right." He said, closing the door. "I figured I might as well try and make it nice."

Charlie nodded. "I didn't realise you were good with your hands." She realised how that sounded, especially when he smirked at her. "I mean…What I meant…"

"Yeah, I got it." He said to shut up her rambling. Looking her over, he wouldn't have minded if she had been more interested in his hands in other ways. She was already lightly sweating from the heat and the glisten against her skin, especially against her collarbone and chest, was causing his own brain not to function.

"So uh," He tried to rouse himself out of it. "Is you being here a good or a bad thing?"

"Why would it be bad?" She frowned.

"You could be telling me to stay away from you."

"Oh, well then I guess it depends."

"Depends?" Now he was confused. When he left, the ball was very much in her court. What depended on him?

"Well, first I want to thank you for the dress." She said. "I was really happy to see it again. I can't believe you kept it."

"I figured you were throwing it out because of anger so I might as well have given you the option when you calmed down. It was a bit of a bitch trying to hide it when you started coming by my place."

"Wait, is that why you were always running upstairs whenever I first came in?"

Sands nodded. "I figured they were the wrong times to give to give it back to you, what with you still hating me."

"I don't know how many times I can say I never hated you."

"Lack of a better word." He shrugged. "So is that what our relationship depends on?"

"No." She sighed. "Alright, before I came down here, Gina Waitrose told me to look up the Flying Cow restaurant in Mexico. I wasn't going to but I was too curious. I found a story about some man who was described to look a lot like you killing a waitress and another customer there. I guess I'm hoping you're going to tell me some big, complicated story about why you had to do that. They were spies or traitors or something, not just innocent bystanders who you couldn't resist killing."

Sands didn't reply.

"Please say something so I can stop thinking you like to murder innocent people."

"The man…" Sands didn't know how to fix this. "That I was sitting with knew who I was and what I did. I bribed him for information and things took a turn for the worst."

"Did he threaten you? Pull a gun on you?"

"I know you don't want to hear this but agents have to kill people for less than that."

Charlie shook her head. "No, that's not true."

"It is." He said. "Belini wouldn't give up the information that I had paid him for and when he realised that I was armed, he never would. I had to get that information somehow or else everything would have been ruined."

"Where is he?"

"What?"

"You moved the body." Charlie said. "He was never found. What did you do?"

Sands sighed. "The same thing we did to Lupe. He's at the bottom of a lake in the middle of nowhere."

"His family…"

"He didn't have any. Look, I know you want to be cut up about this but Belini was a slime ball who would sell you out as soon as look at you. Just because he wasn't running around with guns like Ajedrez doesn't mean he wasn't as involved. You get into a life as a rat or an informer, you take a risk."

"Bet that Manuela Cortez would have liked to have known that before she went to work that day. She might have called in sick but of course, she had nothing to do with rats or the CIA, she was just pouring coffee."

Sands didn't want to admit that he didn't know who Charlie was talking about until coffee was mentioned. He'd never known the waitress' name or cared. "She spilled coffee on my fake arm."

Charlie looked at him like he was insane.

"Look, I did some crazy shit in Mexico and yes, I'll admit I did all those things in any country I was in before there too but I do what I have to on missions. I don't do anything no one else does."

"That's a lie! The reason they wanted to leave you down in Mexico was because of shit like this!" She didn't know what to do. "You know, I knew you killed people but I thought…I thought they were people who chose to be in that kind of life, who were surrounding themselves with the kind of people you get sent to stop. I did not know you murdered innocent people just because they were around!"

"I don't. You have no idea what a mission is like, it's hard and it's intense and you sometimes lose control. I did bad things on missions, I'll admit that but it's not like I am running around Virginia and murdering wait staff for fun."

"No, you just wait until you're out of the country." Charlie was pacing back and forth, her heels probably making marks in his floors but he felt like pointing that out would do more harm than good.

"Charlie, I would never hurt you."

"You think I'm worried about myself?" She stopped and looked at him angrily. "That's what this is?"

"I think you knew what I did but now that you have some details, you have to act like you find it awful."

Charlie couldn't believe this. "I am not acting like I find the murder of innocent people awful, I just do."

"No, you are acting like you don't know the CIA gets up to what it does." Sands said. "Charlie, I've always said that the CIA are the bad guys in some situations and if you work there, you're one of them. I even told you when we were on the run that they had already killed your ex when we thought they had him because that's something they would do. The CIA kills whoever they need to in order to get their work done and more often than not they get us, agents, to do it. If an agent is still alive, there's a good chance they've killed people. Good people, bad people, they've killed."

"No, that's-"

"And come to think of it," Sands went on. "What gives you the right to dictate who deserves to die and who doesn't? Lupe did but this waitress didn't? Ajedrez did but Belini didn't?"

"Those people got involved of their own accord."

"I could make the argument that Ajedrez was brainwashed by her criminal father."

"She had your eyes ripped out."

"Her father did. Yes, she was involved and I don't regret killing her one bit but I am not the one who thinks killing is okay as long as I get to sign off on who gets a bullet and then acts holier than thou over those caught in the crossfire. I think I need to do what I have to in order for me to survive and in order for me to do the job I was given. My job down in Mexico was to have a guerrilla war leader killed, a war leader who was planning on using a drug lord to assassinate the president in order to overthrow the government. Does that sound like something that would preserve a lot of lives? Does that sound like something you would prefer happen because I had no information and more than likely got arrested for doing my job?"

"So the fate of Mexico stood on whether one waitress remained alive?"

"The fate of Mexico rested on me making no mistakes." He said before adding quickly. "And before you say it, yes I know I made a mistake but I fixed it by killing a bunch of people. Killing a bunch of people while protecting a kid. A lot of innocent people died in Mexico while I was down there but I didn't pull every trigger and guess what, sugar? The CIA doesn't care. They never have. And you work for them. If they told you to throw a surgery in the morning and let the person on your operating table die and you went against their orders, well you know what happens to rule breakers. If I don't go through with a mission and fail it on purpose, I get fired."

"You weren't thinking about your job when twenty million dollars came along."

"And if Ramirez hadn't contacted Hartford, I would still be down in Mexico or dead by another agent. Oh, and still blind."

Charlie shook her head. "Are you seriously trying to convince me to be okay with you killing innocent people?"

Sands tensed his jaw. "I haven't done anything like that since you came along."

"What?"

"I haven't. The last person you would deem as innocent who I set up to die was Miller. Remember Miller? The other agent you actually knew who I had killed so I could get to you out in Turkey? The guy you didn't spend too long mourning when I very quickly explained that if we want to survive, people have to die. You didn't seem to mind when it was your life I was saving."

She looked at him angrily. "Well, I guess that's that."

She went to the door but Sands grabbed her arm.

"No, wait." He frowned. "I didn't mean to say any of that. I don't know how that always happens."

"I make you too angry to think?"

"All the time but what I meant to say is that I stopped doing any of that kind of stuff after we got together because I didn't want to risk not coming back to you or having the CIA trying to get rid of me because I became too much of a problem. Look up the time I was in Romania or California or any other place I was in the last year, you won't find anything like what you found from Mexico."

"Good to know." She opened the door.

"Charlie, come on." Sands said. "How did this even happen?"

"Why don't you ask Gina Waitrose seeing since she knows so much more than me?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Hey, you're the one who keeps getting involved with her." Charlie shrugged. "Well, this is what happens."

She left the house and Sands stormed into the kitchen.

_I will fucking kill Waitrose. _

_No, focus on Charlie. I have to get another chance to talk to her. Although why should I bother? Every single time I get on her good side, she finds another reason to smack me back down. She finds some reason to stay away from me._

_Actually, other people keep getting in the way. Harper, Waitrose, the entire fucking CIA. I just have to get her away from everyone else._

_Oh yeah, that won't be too hard._

Sands looked out the window.

_Actually…Here it won't be. We're in the middle of nowhere. I just have to get her back here._

_I have to bring her here from the hospital._

_That means I have to go to the hospital. And meet my family._

Sands had to consider that one. There had to be another way to get in contact with Charlie.

_I'll think of something. I always think of something._

* * *

"I don't think he likes me very much."

Charlie looked up at Riley when he sat on the chair next to the couch she and Buster were lounging on. "Who, Buster? Buster likes everyone."

"I don't know, he won't ever come near me. Look." Riley got up and sat on the other end of the couch. When he did, Buster got off and walked away.

"Oh," Charlie frowned. "I guess he's just missing his master. I should have really…" She cut off when she realised what she was about to say.

"You should have really brought him back to Sands when you went to see him?" Riley finished. He saw her expression. "Charlie, I was in the shower, not Europe. I know you left."

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't tell you because I figured if you didn't know, it wouldn't look so bad on you."

"I will admit, I'm not supposed to let that happen but I can't really lock you up every time I'm not in the room. I have a feeling it's only a matter of time until he finds out where we are anyway and starts coming by. If I did lock you up and he found out, well…I'm not ready to die."

Charlie sighed at Riley's words. "Riley, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"I know you might not be able to answer this but…God, I don't even know how to put this question." She said.

"What is it?"

"Does the CIA care how many people you kill on missions?"

He frowned before shaking his head. "Oh. I wasn't expecting that. Uh…To be honest? They only care about no one realising we are who we are and us getting our job done. Anything we do in between doesn't matter to them as long as we don't draw suspicion to ourselves."

"What about shooting up a restaurant and killing one of the staff?"

"You heard about Sands, huh?"

"God, does everyone know?"

"Pretty much. That poor chef…"

"Chef?" She asked, wide eyed. "He killed a chef too?"

"No, no, no." Riley tried to cover quickly. "Maybe I'm getting mixed up. I think that might have been Thompson, maybe. What are you talking about exactly?"

"The waitress in Mexico at the Flying Cow."

"Oh right. Let's just say, he's not the first agent to do something like that but he is the flashiest which is the only thing the CIA care about."

"So he can kill whoever he wants as long as he doesn't make a scene?"

"If it means he maintains his cover, yeah."

"Have you ever done anything like that? Innocent people?"

"I've never needed to." He shrugged.

"Hmm, you're number one for a reason." She sighed. "Would you?"

"I think any agent needs to be prepared."

She put her hand to her forehead. "Oh God…And you're the good guy."

Riley looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Good guy? I'm the good guy around the office?"

"Well, yeah."

"Great. Just whatever girl wants…The good guy."

"Believe me, after all this, that's exactly what Melissa wants."

"Not that it matters. The CIA aren't going to rush to let anything happen even if she did." Riley said miserably. "So does knowing what you now know make you feel any differently about Sands?"

She sighed. "That's the problem. I didn't feel any differently about him after I found out and I hate myself for that. I still want to be with him. What is wrong with me?"

"Charlie, it's easy to get desensitised to these things when you're in a job that surrounds you with it."

"But I'm not."

"I'm talking about Sands. He might have felt guilty in the beginning," Riley didn't think so but said it to make her feel better. "But as time goes on, you just have to shut yourself off from what you have to do. The fact that none of those stories came in after he met you does say something."

Charlie chewed the pad of her thumb, thinking about that.

* * *

"I can't believe you're here."

"Yeah, it's a miracle."

Sands had forgotten that he could never think of something when it came to Charlie. So here he was, sitting in a hospital waiting room surrounded by his mother, sister, brothers and sister-in-law waiting for the doctor to introduce herself. He hadn't seen his father and he'd keep it that way. There was only so much he was willing to do when it came to Charlie.

_Apparently going too far would have been asking her where she was staying when she was in your house._

_Moron._

"Oh, here she comes." Cora said, standing up. "Doctor Macintosh, it's lovely to see you again."

"Mrs Sands." Charlie smiled and she had to hide her expression when she saw Sands sitting with his family. "Uh okay, I just checked in on your husband. He's sleeping right now so when he wakes up, I'll go introduce myself. I looked at his file though and his cancer is quite aggressive. Fortunately, the head of Oncology at Sacred Heart Medical owes me a favour so I asked him to take a look. Once he does, we can agree on the best course of action."

"Thank you so much, Doctor."

"Not a problem."

Charlie walked away and over to the nurses' station to talk to one of them.

"Whoa, when I heard head of the medical department, I was expecting some dusty old broad. Glad to say I was very wrong." Darryl, Sands' younger said. They used to be very close and so once Sands came back, he'd found himself most drawn to stay near Darryl and not at all near his mother or older brother, Wyatt.

"Darryl." Clora looked at him. "She is a doctor and she is here to help your father. Cut it out."

"What? She can't hear us. Anyway you gotta admit," Darryl leaned over to Sands to whisper. "She's pretty hot. Wouldn't mind getting a sponge bath off her if you know what I'm saying."

Sands didn't know why, maybe it was his old feeling of wanting to impress his brothers but he all of a sudden felt very proud of the fact that he knew what Charlie looked like naked.

_You're the worst. _He thought to himself.

"Look at how she dresses," Wyatt said, turning to his wife, Faith. "Why can't you dress more like her?"

Sands looked at his brother tiredly. "Probably because you spend every penny on Jim Beam and if she tried, she'd have some mysterious tumble down the stairs again."

"Shut up, Sheldon. You've been back for five minutes and you're already pissing everyone off."

"Oh, I forgot that's your job."

"Least I didn't abandon anyone."

"Unfortunately for your family."

"Careful Sheldon or I'll push you down the stairs."

"I'll ask Faith how it feels."

"Boys, will you stop it!" Clora whispered angrily. "We are in public."

"Your son is a wife beater, you have worse problems." Sands said shortly. "But you ignore that, don't you? You're good at it."

"Why don't you run away and hide again?" Wyatt bit back. "You're good at that, Sheldon."

"Yeah, how could I ever have missed all this?"

"Will you two please just shut up?" Clora asked through gritted teeth. "If you can't get along, just don't talk to each other."

The two shut up and the family stayed in silence. Sands frowned at Lucy who was looking down at her hands like she had been all day. She'd only looked up when Charlie came over. Why wasn't she yapping everyone's ear off like usual?

"Man, she is hot." Darryl broke the silence, still looking over at Charlie. Sands tried not to glare at him or look angry at all.

"Darryl, would you stop staring at the woman?" Clora said. "Although, you should try for a girl like her, a doctor, someone with a job and independence. Just not when she's treating your father."

Darryl raised an eyebrow. "But I'm free to ogle her when she's not at work?"

"No!" Lucy said quickly. "She's with-"

She shut up when she realised and everyone looked at her. Sands tried to clue her in with his expression to not say anything.

"She has a boyfriend." Lucy covered. "She told me when I talked to her on the plane and borrowed a magazine. She's dating some guy back in Virginia."

"That's Virginia, this is Georgia." Darryl smirked.

"She's still your father's doctor." Clora said. "So knock it off."

"So Lucy, what did you think of Virginia?" Faith asked, speaking for the first time since Sands had gotten there.

"It was really fun." Lucy smiled. "Sheldon's apartment is so big and his dog is really great, and smart and-"

"I wonder if your father is still asleep." Clora cut her daughter off.

Sands frowned as Lucy retreated back into herself at the interruption.

"Lucy was talking." He said to his mother.

"What?" Clora frowned. "Oh sorry, Lucy. I was just wondering about your father."

"It's okay." Lucy shrugged before looking at her hands again. Sands had seen that a thousand times. Not with Lucy though, with Charlie and her own mother. He'd always wondered why Charlie played down how smart she was, especially around her family. Maybe Gwen had made it that way. Maybe Clora was doing the same to Lucy.

Sands stood. "I'm gonna take a walk. Lucy, come with me."

Lucy went to stand but her arm was grabbed to sit back down.

"Hey, wait a minute." Wyatt said. "You've only known her five minutes. You don't get to order her to go anywhere."

"Okay then," Sands shrugged. "Lucy, wanna come with me?"

"Yeah." She stood up again.

"Shock." Sands looked at his brother sarcastically before they walked away.

"I can't believe you want me around." Lucy said as they walked. "I didn't think you'd want to bother after having to spend a week with me."

"Yeah well, who was I going to ask? Wyatt? I'd rather eat tar."

"You didn't have to ask anyone."

Sands led her outside and lit a cigarette. "I was just surprised by how quiet you were in there. In Virginia, I couldn't get you to shut up."

"I had a lot to say in Virginia, I don't have so much to say here."

"Why not?"

Lucy didn't answer. Sands got it though. He used to not have a lot to say either. Or he did but no one cared and soon, it was just easier to stay quiet.

"Why don't you come by my place later?"

"Really?" Lucy frowned.

_Really? _He thought.

"Yeah, I'm doing up the house and I could use some help. You're small enough to not get in my way a lot and to reach the hard corners to paint."

_What are you doing? You just spent what feels like half your life trying to get rid of this kid!_

"Are you really sure?" Lucy asked.

_No. Say no. Do not let her near your house._

"Sure."

_What is actually wrong with you?_

* * *

Charlie was walking down the hall and frowned when she heard shouting coming from the ladies bathroom. She walked in and saw one of Sands' brothers, Wyatt she assumed, with a vice like grip on his wife's arm.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that in front of my family again! Do you hear-?"

"Mister Sands!" Charlie cut help but shout over him, her anger getting the better of her. "This is the ladies room, you're not allowed be in here. Please leave."

Wyatt looked at her angrily. "I'm talking to my wife."

"If you would like, I can call security and have them remove you. Otherwise, leave."

He glared at her and began dragging Faith out of the bathroom.

"I didn't say your wife had to go anywhere."

"She's my wife, she's coming with me."

"I will walk her back to the waiting room myself when I am done talking to her."

"What is it with you people? You come down here and think your nose belongs in everyone else's business."

"Sir, I won't ask again. Leave your wife alone and go back to the waiting area."

"She's coming with me." He said through gritted teeth.

Charlie took out her phone. "Hi, this is Doctor Macintosh. I need security to come to the ladies room on the third floor."

"Fine, I'm fucking going." Wyatt let go of Faith. "Keep the bitch."

He walked out of the bathroom and Charlie closed her phone.

"I don't need security." Faith said. "I'm fine. Please don't throw him out of the hospital."

"Oh, I wasn't actually talking to anyone. I just wanted him out." Charlie walked closer to her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She said with a wave of her hand. "He's just stressed, what with his father and everything."

Charlie shrugged. "Doesn't mean he should be allowed take it out on you. A lot of people have sick relatives in this place."

"He's just not good at handling these things. He gets upset."

It made Charlie feel severely downtrodden to hear this woman make excuses but she supposed only seeing thirty seconds of their marriage didn't really mean she knew anything about it. She just knew that Wyatt hurt his wife and that shouldn't happen. "He said people coming down here; I'm guessing he wasn't just talking about me."

"What…?"

"I know Lucy showed you that picture of Sa- Sheldon and I in the paper and I know you knew he was seeing someone."

Faith was still. "I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone and I won't."

"Thank you."

She sighed. "Wyatt and Sheldon were arguing in the waiting room and then Sheldon left with Lucy to go for a walk and while they were gone, I asked Wyatt to maybe not be so hard on his brother, especially in front of their mom when she's so stressed. I just thought it'd be easier for everyone if they got along. Wyatt didn't take too kindly to my suggestion and followed me in here and…Well, you heard the rest. He doesn't like the thought that I'm trying to order him around."

Charlie nodded. "I have an ex like that."

"I read up on that. Didn't your ex kidnap you and try to kill you?"

Charlie sighed. The CIA could hide a lot, like Sands' entire involvement, but she was still the daughter of quite a wealthy family and with the fact that she'd went missing from California, not Virginia so her family would declare her missing, the CIA clearly couldn't hide everything. At least it meant Barry was openly being searched for by not just the CIA but police and FBI. Not that it did any good.

"Yes, he did." She said. "Come on, I'll walk you back to the waiting room."

Faith nodded and they walked back. Charlie left her at the door and Faith walked in, sitting down. Sands and Lucy were back and now Lucy was sitting next to him as opposed to her mom.

"Is that doctor out there?" Wyatt asked.

Faith was hesitant. "Uh, yeah."

He got up and left the waiting room.

"Wait, what doctor is he talking about?" Sands asked.

"Doctor Macintosh."

Sands got up and left the waiting room to follow his brother.

Outside, Charlie had been walking away from the waiting room when she heard a shout.

"Hey!"

She turned and saw Wyatt following her.

"Mister Sands, I have nothing more to say to you. If I have news on your father, I'll make sure to let you know."

"This ain't about my dad; this is about you getting involved between me and my wife. It ain't any of your business."

"I simply asked you to leave the ladies room. If I had walked into the men's room, you'd have every right to throw me out of there."

"Don't talk to my wife."

"I'll talk to who I want." Charlie said. "You may think you own your wife but you don't control a thing I do and barking orders at me won't change that."

"You better watch yourself, lady."

"Or what?" She frowned. "Seriously, what are you going to do to me?"

"Nothing." They heard and in the next second, Sands walked up from behind his brother. "I'm sorry for my brother's behaviour, Doctor Macintosh, won't happen again." He said it more to Wyatt than Charlie, looking the man in the eye.

Wyatt huffed and turned, walking away.

"I'm so glad you met my family, Mac." Sands said sarcastically, watching his brother walk away before turning to her. "It's more than anything I could have hoped for, really."

Charlie shook her head. "It's fine. Your brother doesn't even register with me."

"Now that's not true. You and your feminist ideals should be able to sense him being an asshole from miles away."

Charlie shrugged. "I told you I wouldn't get involved with your family and that's still true. Although I did threaten to call security on him a while ago so you know, I'll do better."

"You did?"

"Yeah, he was shouting at your sister-in-law and I couldn't resist."

"You should have gotten him thrown out of here."

"She asked me not to."

Sands sighed. "Of course she did."

"I know, it sucks." She said before quickly adding, "From an outside and uninvolved point of view."

Sands smirked at her. Charlie looked around and when she saw no one paying attention to them, she indicated for him to follow her. She led him to the doctors' locker rooms and closed the door behind them.

"What's going on?" Sands asked. "I thought you weren't coming near me when we were here?"

"Yeah, I usually won't just to be safe but I wanted to apologise for what I said the other night."

"About the shootings?"

"No, I still think that's deplorable and won't apologise. I meant about throwing Waitrose in your face." She said. She scratched her forehead. "I just…That woman drives me insane and…"

"And?"

She huffed. "And she makes me jealous, okay? She makes me really, really jealous."

"Why?" Sands frowned. "I don't know how many times I can tell you that I do not want Waitrose."

"Sands, you know that's not true." She said. "You told me that right after we broke up, you ran to her."

"No, that's…Being jealous of Waitrose is ridiculous."

"Coming from the man who stormed into my gay co-worker's office and threatened him?"

Sands tried to find a reply to that. "You know, you really shouldn't bring up the fact that he's gay so much. He's a man, Charlie, not a sexual orientation. What are we, in the fifties?"

She glared at him.

"Okay, what do you want me to say?" Sands huffed. "I am jealous of Harper. I'm jealous of any guy who openly gets to spend so much time with you. I'm jealous of any guy who looks at you. I'm jealous of Harper, I'm jealous of Trevor, I'm jealous of your ex, I'm jealous of the entire fucking male population because any single one of them could be with you without a problem. I thought just the sex and staying inside the apartment all the time was enough for me but you were right when you said we'd end up wanting more. I do. I have for a while, probably since we went to your father's fundraiser and had a really good time until, you know…We didn't. So yes, I am jealous of any guy that has the option to go out with you, as in really go out and any guy who can give you more than just secret sex in your apartment. I'm jealous of basically every other guy every who's not me. They're all allowed have what I'm not."

"No they're not." She frowned. "Just because the CIA might allow whoever to be with me doesn't mean I will. They don't need the CIA's permission, they need mine and no one's getting it."

"Not even me?"

"I'm still trying to get my head around what I know now. I talked to Riley last night and he pretty much confirmed everything you said."

"So you understand what I'm saying?"

"No, I don't understand any of this." She shook her head. "I don't understand how I got sucked into my life being surrounded by things like this."

"I don't mean to lay more blame at his door but the CIA discovered who you were when Armisen was investigating your dad. Once they get their eye on something or someone, they don't quit."

"I just…You saw how I was after Lupe, it was the reason I went on Zoloft in the first place. How can I live my life knowing this is what it's attached to?"

"Because your life isn't attached to that stuff. Charlie, you're a doctor. You help people."

"I help people who hurt other people."

"Everyone hurts other people! If you were a doctor working in a regular hospital and you treated someone who would later go on to kill a teenager by drunk driving, would you have an existential crisis? If you treated a man who went home and beat his wife, would that be your fault? Mac, you are only responsible for your own actions, the rest of the world don't matter. I know you hate what I have to do for my job but I was did those things before you fell in love with me and you still did it. What I used to do for my job used to be who I am but it's not anymore, not since you came along but that doesn't mean I can stop doing it. The same way you treat people who hurt others, that doesn't mean you are a bad person yourself. You're just doing your job."

"So you're saying that even though I indirectly hurt other people by helping the people who hurt them, I shouldn't blame myself? Whereas you hurt people directly but you don't blame yourself because it's your job, just like helping the bad people is mine?"

"I'm saying that this is the life we're in and it's not changing anytime soon. Even if you're not with me, you're still surrounded by people like me, you're helping people like me; you're treating agents so they can go out there and kill people. You may not want to but as we've been made aware, quitting your job isn't an option. You don't like it but you'll keep doing it. What I'm saying is that the best way to get through it is to have a duty to only one person; yourself." He said. "And me. I'd prefer it if you included me. But mainly, look out for yourself and do what you have to do to survive because Mac, no one else is going to. It's dog eat dog wherever you work, our stakes are just higher."

"And that's just something I have to get used to. And it'll take time."

"So I just wait and see if you want to be with me? Twiddle my thumbs until you make up your mind?"

"I know it's not fair and you don't have to do anything. You can tell me to go fuck myself right now if you want."

Sands huffed and went to leave the room.

"Wait."

He turned back to her.

"I completely forgot. Sands, we need to talk about Lucy."

"What about her?" He frowned.

Charlie sat down and spoke quietly. "I think Lucy might be dyslexic."

"What?"

"She doesn't read."

He walked over and sat across from her. "She's fifteen, a lot of fifteen year olds don't read."

"I don't mean that way, I mean anything. She doesn't read anything. Have you ever seen her read even a text message?"

"I can't say I was taking notice but not that I remember."

"Plus, when she was in my apartment that first night, I gave her a menu and she wouldn't even look at it. She just said she'd have whatever I chose and I wasn't even eating. Who does that? Then when we were on the plane, she was looking at magazines but she wasn't reading anything. I know because when I told her that reading an article on sex didn't seem appropriate in front of her mom-"

"What were you doing giving my sister sex magazines?" Sands frowned.

"I did not give her a sex magazine. I gave her a normal magazine. Show me a women's magazine which doesn't have an article on sex in it."

"I don't know…Age Appropriate Weekly?"

"I think that was discontinued, actually." Charlie said tiredly. "That's not the point. The point is that Lucy didn't even realise what the words were. When I asked her to pass me one with a specific article on the front, she couldn't. She didn't even try to read. I think this is something she's been dealing with for a long time and ignoring it. And I don't think she's the only one."

"What do you mean?"

"How do you go fifteen years without ever noticing that your child struggles when she reads and writes? Her grades must have suffered without proper knowledge of it. That's another thing, when you got called into work that night she got angry with me, she got really insecure in case we thought she was stupid. She said everyone thinks so."

"You really think so?"

"I think it's something that should be looked into. Your mom seems obsessed with Lucy being like you were if what Lucy says is anything to go by; maybe she found it hard to tell her that she's struggling as much as she is because your mom really wants Lucy to be smart like you. You should talk to your mom."

"Wait, I should?"

"It'd sound better coming from you than from me."

"It'd sound better or it'd be easier for you?"

"Considering the fact that I'm not supposed to know one thing about Lucy, it would prompt less questions coming from you."

Sands had to admit, she got him there. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"What about?"

"All this talk about smart; my dad has lung cancer, how can you help that exactly? You're not an oncologist. I know you act like a bit of an all-rounder at the CIA but…"

"Okay first of all, I do not act as an all-rounder at the CIA but I am qualified to do more than one thing. Secondly, no I'm not an oncologist but I am a surgical critical care specialist and that's what your dad needs. I will work with an oncologist to help him. Your dad's organs are beginning to shut down and that's where I come in. I do the invasive surgeries."

"But you are a surgeon…"

"You seriously don't know a thing about what I do, do you?"

Sands shrugged. "I really only cared about the eyes. Which I also don't understand because I would have thought that was quite a specific specialty."

Charlie sighed. "I became a surgeon at seventeen which I know sounds crazy but if you consider people like Akrit Jaswal who performed surgery at seven, it sounds less crazy. Damn kid…"

"Charlie?" Sands looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry. Just seething with envy."

"Seventeen? Was that before or after…?"

"It was just before. My dad offered for me to stay with him when we were celebrating. Anyway, even though I was okay to perform surgery, I didn't feel anyone would take me seriously as a surgeon and after what happened with Wyman, I wasn't rushing to try and make anyone comfortable. After a few months, I decided to go back and get my medical degree instead of going to work in a hospital. I was going to get it in emergency medicine because I liked the rush and quick decision making but the CIA made me a very enticing proposal but pointed out that not a lot of emergency medicine was needed so I did internal medicine instead. That's where eyes come in. When your eye donation popped up, I just kind of combined the two, internal and critical care. Internal medicine also helps with cancer so, here I am."

"Wow."

"I can't believe you didn't even know what I do."

"Have I ever asked?" He pointed out. "I never cared about your job, just you. Well, I cared that you could perform an eye transplant but…"

"I'm thinking of going back."

Sands frowned. "Back to where?"

"Medical school? I was thinking of trying to get a new specialty."

"How long would that take?"

"Few years."

"Years?" He asked, not believing it. "Where did this come from?"

"Look, I love my job and I love being a doctor but I'm still young and I think I can do more."

"What about the CIA?"

"I hate working at the CIA."

"You don't have a choice."

"I know but…Maybe there's a way to work around it."

"Yeah, you'd be working twenty-four, seven. Charlie, come on, you're already a doctor."

"I'm an awful doctor. You said that yourself."

Sands frowned. "Whoa I never said that."

"You did." She said. "And you were right. A good doctor doesn't sleep with their patient and I did."

"Oh come on, that was completely different."

"No, it's not. You were my patient when we began sleeping together. I slept with you the night before I performed surgery on you." Sands could see her convincing herself more and more of it. "What kind of a doctor does that? Not a good one. Because I'm not, I'm not a good doctor."

"Yes you are. You're an amazing doctor."

Charlie shook her head. "And I'm biased. I don't like most of my patients. I break the rules every day. And I don't keep the code of doctor patient confidentiality. Being a doctor is the only thing I'm good at and I'm bad at it."

"Charlie, listen to me. You are the best doctor out there. You slept with me the night before a surgery? You may have done that but the next day you successfully performed a surgery that most people didn't even know could be done. You are the only person in this country who has ever done it and you it did with a healing wrist and with about thirty seconds notice after the main surgeon was manhandled out of the OR. You are a good doctor and not one person can deny it. Everyone knows it."

"No, no one does! All anyone cares about is the fact that I had sex with a patient! I did an eye transplant, an actual eye transplant and all anyone cares about is that I had an affair with a patient! That is the only thing! I am a good doctor and I shouldn't have to prove it but I do." Sands was surprised that she was nearly crying but he shouldn't have been, her career was one of the most important things to her and for the last year, it'd been a joke. "So I want some of my dignity back. I just want to help people who will actually appreciate it and not use me trying to help them as a way to make stupid jokes at my expense or treat me like shit. That's all I ever get and I'm sick of it! I want to go back to where I was respected and I want to maybe work so that I can end up in a place where I feel like I'm doing some good, not just waiting on idiots who don't care about anyone but themselves."

Sands was silent for a while before sighing. "What do you want to specialise in?"

"I was thinking about cardiovascular surgery."

"The heart?"

"Yeah, I was always interested in that. It was my second choice after critical care."

He shrugged. "If that's what you want, I think you should go for it."

"Really?"

"Sugar, I just want you to be happy. I don't care if you're happy going back to school or making balloon animals at the circus, just as long as you get to do it."

Charlie smiled. "Thank you. I'm really sorry that I'm always saying you shouldn't be happy at the CIA, that's wrong."

"Look, the CIA do shit that I don't agree with either but for the most part, I can't help that I love my job."

"I know. I don't agree with it but I know who you are and I have for a very long time and I fell in love with that person. I just…I need to figure out where I stand with things. I can't magically be okay with what I know now."

Sands looked at her. "I know. Your life's mission is to save lives but I just want you to know that mine isn't to kill people. It's just something that…I guess I can't explain it to you in a way that doesn't sound terrible."

Charlie got up and sat down next to him. "Anyway, we are definitely not being together here. It'd be pretty terrible of me to lament how bad of a doctor I am because I had a relationship with my patient and then immediately have one with my patient's son. Which means I should go. We can't be seen together."

"Word of warning, I think my brother might try to hit on you."

"Which one?"

"Darryl. Wyatt wouldn't try to hit on you; he'd just try to hit you. But that wouldn't happen. I'd kill him."

Charlie shook her head. "Yes you would. I do trust you to protect me, no matter what."

"Because I will. Whether we're in Turkey, Virginia, Mexico, here, wherever you end up…"

"Wherever I end up…If the CIA does let me take a leave of absence to pursue this, we'll never see each other."

"But if we're not together, it doesn't matter." Sands pointed out.

"I wish I could be okay with things. Actually, I wish you didn't have to do the things you do and still could do your dream job."

"I was telling the truth, you know. All that stopped after you came along. Getting home to you without difficulty was more important, even when we weren't allowed be together."

"I know." She looked at him. She knew that look he was giving her. He was about to kiss her. She needed to stop that. Not here, not now.

Where her resolve failed her, her pager didn't. The beeping broke them out of their moment. She looked down to check it.

"What?" Sands frowned.

"Your dad's awake. Better go introduce myself."

She got up and Sands grabbed her wrist.

"Charlie, wait."

"What is it?"

Sands stood up. "I really don't want you to meet my dad."

"I have to."

"I know that. I just…" Sands didn't know what to say. He couldn't exactly convince her not to meet him. "Just know that I don't want you to meet him."

Charlie nodded, not really understanding before walking out of the locker room. She made her way to his father's room to find the man awake in the bed. He had black hair like Sands which was greying and had a stocky build, not really like Sands. He looked at her when she walked in.

"Mister Sands, it's good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm in hospital, how do you think?" He answered gruffly.

"Of course." She nodded. "Well, I'm-"

"Where's Doctor Slater? He's supposed to be taking care of me until the new guy gets here."

"New…Guy?" Charlie repeated.

"Yes, new guy like I said. Charles Macintosh or whatever."

"Mister Sands, I'm the new doctor. I'm Doctor Charlotte Macintosh."

"No, Clora said his name was Charlie."

"People call me Charlie for short."

He looked her over. "No."

"Excuse me?" She frowned.

"I want a male doctor and one who is a little bit older."

"Mister Sands, I can assure you…"

"I'm sure you're very capable, sweetheart but I'm looking for a doctor, not a kid parading around in a white coat because it matches her dress. My problems are a little bigger than broken nails."

Charlie shook her head. "Mister Sands, I am more than capable of treating your case just as I have been capable of treating all the other cases I have had, so much so that I am now head of the medical department back at the hospital I work in in Virginia."

"Well, I don't care. I don't want a woman as my doctor. You might trip in those heels and stick me in the eye with a needle or something."

She had to admit, the thought was tempting. "I am a good doctor and-"

"You obviously are not a very good listener. Get out of here, honey."

Charlie put her hand on her hip defiantly. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I am not going anywhere. I am your doctor and I am more than capable of being your doctor Mister Sands so why don't you let me do my job and it'll make things easier for everyone?"

"Listen sweetheart, I ain't really in the mood to watch you throw a hissy fit because you didn't get your way so why don't you turn around and walk away? You wouldn't be wearing that tight dress if you didn't want someone to look at your ass and that's the best I can do for you. Otherwise, stay the hell away from me."

Charlie finally got what Sands meant.

* * *

**That Akrit Jaswal is a real person, very interesting. He's kinda who I based Charlie on, smarts wise but I toned her down a bit. Anyway, that was all of Sands' family!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Mr Sands would like to see you all."

The family began to get up except Sands. He wasn't going to go in there; he hadn't come here for that. Remembering Charlie's words about Lucy though, he stopped his mother as the rest left so they could talk in private.

"We need to talk."

Clora seemed hopeful that her son was approaching her. "Sheldon…"

"It's about Lucy."

"Oh, what about her?"

"Have you ever noticed that Lucy struggles to read?"

Clora closed up all of a sudden. "She's fifteen and she's lazy. She could get good grades if she wanted to but she doesn't put the work in."

"Do you ever think she finds it difficult?"

"Everyone finds school difficult. If they didn't, we'd all be doctors and lawyers. Lucy has potential but she wastes it."

"Have you even bothered to take an interest? Although I don't know why I'm asking that, you never did for the rest of us."

"Sheldon…"

"Lucy struggles to read simple things. I think getting her tested for dyslexia is a good idea."

Clora shook her head. "Lucy is not stupid."

"Dyslexic people aren't stupid. People who think dyslexia equals stupidity are stupid. If she was found to be dyslexic, there are people who could help her. Her grades would improve; she'd have a chance when she finishes school, if she finishes school."

"If Lucy has dyslexia, she'll need to be put into one of those special needs programs and I am not doing that."

Sands frowned. "Wait, you've looked into this? You knew she could be dyslexic and you ignored it?"

"I don't want her teased."

"You don't think her not being able to read gets her teased? At least if she has a reason…!"

"I said no."

"Why don't we cut the bullshit here?" He said. "You don't want her assessed because you don't want people to know that you could have a dyslexic kid, a kid who needs help. You'd prefer to have her struggle with everything than admit to people that she may need some special program or whatever."

"No, that's…"

"Come off it, I know you. I know you're obsessed with what people think. You got knocked up at Lucy's age and people judged you and you don't want it to happen again. Well, guess what? Having a wife beater, a son who won't even come near you and a daughter who is being ignored is not going to win you any mother of the year awards and everyone knows it. This is a small town, everyone knows everything. You really think Faith goes out with a black eye and people don't wonder what you did to Wyatt to screw him up? You think people don't wonder where the fuck I went without a trace? Are you serious?"

Clora remained stony. "This discussion is over. Lucy is not getting tested. She is fine."

"You are punishing Lucy because you care too much about your reputation and not enough about your kids. You never have."

"I love my children."

"Yeah, you're really proving it." He said sarcastically before walking off. He walked outside and lit a cigarette. He was nearly finished when Lucy rushed out.

"Sheldon!"

Sands turned to her. "What, kid?"

"Dad fired Charlie as his doctor."

"What?"

"Yeah, we were just in with him and he told us he didn't want a girl doctor and that was she was too young and basically just didn't want her."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know, gone I guess."

Sands put out his cigarette and walked back into the hospital, making his way to the locker rooms Charlie had dragged him into earlier. He found her standing at an open locker, taking off her coat and getting her stuff.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I heard my father refused to let you be his doctor."

"Yeah, he did. Bet you're thrilled."

"Well I can't say I'm not happy you won't be around him but what are you going to do now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, not work here."

"Are you going to go back to Virginia?"

He saw her freeze at that, like she was realising something. "I guess I am. I have no reason to stay."

"Your own protection from that psycho?"

"The CIA doesn't care about that. Once I get back, they'll probably use me as bait to get him out in the open."

"So don't go back."

"I don't have a choice. If I'm not working as your father's doctor, I'm going to have to. Unless someone can convince your father to let me be his doctor, I have to go back and do what the CIA wants. I tried but I couldn't. I mean, I thought he'd be pleased that he no longer has to pay thousands of dollars' worth of medical bills but I guess he just doesn't want me as his doctor more than he doesn't want his family in debt."

Sands nodded. "Don't leave yet."

"Why not?" She frowned.

"I'm going to go talk to him."

"I thought you didn't want to?"

"Yeah well, you're staying here and away from the psychopath."

He left the locker room and went to his father's room. He didn't go in straight away, not wanting to talk to this man in the slightest but it was more important that he did. He walked inside and found his father in there, alone.

"I was wondering how long it would take for you to show up."

"If it were up to me, it would have been longer." He said, walking into the room.

"So why the sudden interest?" His father asked.

"You fired your doctor?"

"Don't want her."

"Why? Could it be that she lacked the credentials? Nope, pretty sure she has those. Her high fail rate? Nope, doesn't have one of those. Or it could be the fact that she is a she?"

"Are you surprised?"

"I don't know." Sands shrugged. "I'm not at all surprised that you would fire a doctor for being a woman but I'm kinda surprised you're not leeching the opportunity to not pay for something for every cent its worth."

"That was tempting but how am I supposed to get better at all with her?"

"Well, she is the best doctor in the country so…"

"What the hell are you doing out wherever you are that you're working with the best doctor in the country?" His father frowned. "Why don't you just admit this for what it is because it's one of two things and neither of them is you giving a shit if I get better or not. It's either that you want to get into her pants or you want to hold over me how big a debt I'll owe you by using your job to get help. Which one is it?"

"Neither." Sands lied. "I just think it's stupid to have a good doctor fly down here to help you and have you turn her down because she's a woman."

Rex surveyed him. He was obviously lying; he could tell whenever his son was lying. It didn't matter though, Sheldon wanted him to keep this woman on as his doctor and that could be used to Rex's advantage.

"Fine, I'll keep her."

"Really?"

"If you do something for me."

Sands didn't like that. "What?"

"Sign over the house and the acreage to me."

"Are you serious? You're stuck in a hospital bed, your days of going near that acreage is over."

"It's not about cultivating that land; it's about getting what I want. You thought you were pretty smart taking that land away from me so I could never get it. This is much more about winning."

Sands looked at his father angrily. "I shouldn't be surprised. Using your cancer to fuck me over? That's all too typical of you."

"If you don't want to do it, you don't have to." His father smirked. "Just go and tell your little friend that she has nothing left to do here."

Sands nodded. "That is exactly what I'll do. The only way you will get that land is over my dead body and something tells me you're gonna be in the ground before me, all too soon."

He stormed out of the hospital room and out of the hospital altogether.

* * *

"Are you actually going to do anything? I feel like you brought me over to just follow orders."

"That is why I brought you over." Sands frowned later that evening while he was sitting on the stairs and drinking. Lucy was bringing in paint cans from his car. "Put those down though, there's something I want to talk to you about."

Lucy put down the cans and sat on the steps below him. "What?"

"I know you have trouble reading and writing." He said getting straight to the point.

"What? No, I'm-"

"Kid, it's a problem a lot of people have. It doesn't make you any less smart and it doesn't make you a failure. It just means you're probably dyslexic."

Lucy looked to the floor. "Mom and dad say I'm not."

"Since when did they become experts?"

Lucy looked up at him.

"Do you want to get tested for it?"

"If I get tested and I am, will it make things easier?"

"Yeah, the school will be notified and they'll set up a program to help you."

"A program? Like for people with mental problems?" Now she seemed unsure.

"To help people. Would you like your grades to improve?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think it's better to have help than to struggle on your own like you've been doing?"

"I guess."

"Then who gives a fuck if you're in some program?" He shrugged. "High school isn't forever. You will probably never see those people again when you leave unless you want to. I haven't seen one person from mine since before you were born."

Lucy thought about it. "I just want to get out of here like you did."

"I got out of here by going to college. There are colleges who cater to dyslexia so your grades don't have to be so high but they have to be high enough. So, you wanna do it?"

"Mom would never let me."

"She doesn't have to know."

"I thought I'd need her consent?" Lucy frowned.

"Oh, I'll work around that. I've never gotten that woman's consent for anything in my life but I never let that stop me. All you have to do is copy her signature but since you can't even copy your own signature, we'll leave that to me."

Lucy smiled a little before looking up at him again. "What's going to happen with Charlie?"

"I don't know, she'll go back to Virginia I guess."

"Are you going to go back too? You only came here because of her."

"I don't know." He said, not denying it. "I'll probably finish up doing the house now that I've started."

Lucy nodded, not looking happy.

"If dad kept Charlie on as his doctor, would you stay?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "But that's not happening unless…"

"Unless what?"

Sands sighed. "That's not happening."

"No, tell me. No one ever thinks I can know anything around here. I thought you were different to them."

Sands scrutinised her. "Are you trying to play me?"

"Did it work?"

"No."

"Damn." She huffed. "So, that's it? You're gone, dad lands our family in debt we don't have a hope of paying back and he refuses to let the doctor who will probably save his life anywhere near him because she's a girl?" She looked like she was about to cry. "We're going to lose everything."

"No, you won't."

"We will." She nodded. "We're already in trouble with the bank, they could repossess our house. We just don't got any money. The only person who brings any real money in is Darryl and he ain't exactly making millions. He's already working too much. At this rate, I'm gonna have to drop out of school."

"Lucy, you won't have to do that."

"Sheldon, the only person in our family to finish school was you. You're the first person on either side of mom or dad's family to have gotten to college. With my grades, who's really gonna care about keeping me in school? Mom just thinks I'm lazy. I'll be working full time in that damn theatre I work in at weekends by the end of the year, I know it."

"Wait," Sands frowned. "You have a job?"

"Yeah, at the movie theatre. I did work in the grocery store but all those numbers and I couldn't read anything, I didn't last long."

"But you're only fifteen."

"So? Mom told me you got a job the minute you could too."

That was true but for some reason, Lucy seemed too young.

"Anyway," She continued. "I'm going to be sixteen in a few months and that'll be it. I'll be there all the time."

"Lucy, no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. If you want to stay in school, you can. You're just panicking."

"Yeah and I'll be made feel guilty about it every day. 'The least you could do is work, Lucy. What's the point in going to school if you don't even bother to try and get good grades?' I do try!"

"I know you do."

"No one else does!"

"Okay kid, calm down. You're not going to lose your home."

"How do you know?"

Sands sighed. "Because I'll make sure it won't happen."

The next day, Sands paid his father another visit. His mother also in the room but he ignored her.

"You win."

His father chuckled. "You made the right decision, boy."

"Win?" Clora frowned. "Win what? What decision?"

"Sheldon here is going to sign over the house and the acreage so I'll let Doctor Macintosh be my doctor again."

"Really?"

"I have a few of my own stipulations before I sign anything." Sands walked into the room.

Rex frowned. "And what are those?"

"Well first, I am staying in that house while I'm here. Secondly, you use what I'm giving you to pay off what you owe to the bank." He said. "And you put the rest, if there is any, to pay for Lucy to go to college, and she will be getting tested for dyslexia."

"I said no." Clora said.

Sands shrugged and turned to leave. "Good luck arranging the funeral."

"Now wait, get back here." Rex called after him. Sands walked back into the room. "What are you talking about? Lucy ain't dyslexic; she's just not the sharpest tool in the shed."

"How would you know? Those are the terms. She gets tested and goes to college or no dice."

"Why do you care about her all of a sudden? You didn't even know her last month."

"She wants to get out of here. I know how that feels."

"Fine, do the stupid test." Rex huffed.

"And the college fund?"

"I have spent years trying to get that land, I ain't selling it."

"Then sell your own house and set up there. You owe too much money to keep both. It's fine for you sitting in your hospital bed and not caring but your family are working their asses off trying to right your bad decisions and before you start saying my name in that simpering voice," Sands held up a finger to his mother. "I am not talking about you. I am talking about Darryl and Lucy. I mean, seriously? Lucy is fifteen and already struggling in school and you have her working?"

"Lucy wanted to get a job."

"Lucy wanted to save money for herself. I know from experience this family doesn't really believe in letting someone keep what they earn. So sell the house and pay off your debts and stop depending on your kids to get you out of the mess you got yourself into. You had these debts before you ever got sick, this just added on and it can stop if you let the doctor I brought down here treat you. She will literally save you thousands and, you know, your life but whatever."

"So you give me the land and I sell it, let me guess, right back to you?"

"It took me years to pay off that house. I'm not planning on spending everything I own to do it again. I live in Virginia and have a life there now that I quite like. Messing with you just takes time away from that."

"So what you're saying is you don't have the money to?"

"I better not. You better sell it for what it's worth. You owe a lot of money and Lucy better go to a good college. Now, if you'll excuse me, she has her appointment."

"What?" Clora frowned. "I told you…"

"Let the girl get the damn test!" Rex said shortly. "She can't read anyway, it won't make no damn difference if we can put a name to it."

Clora stood up straight. "I should be there."

"Don't worry, I got it covered." Sands said. "She doesn't want you there."

He left the room and let out a sigh.

* * *

"So have you spoken to Melissa at all?"

"Uh no." Riley frowned. "Why- Why would I?"

Charlie shrugged. "Just thought you might call her. You two were friends, weren't you?"

"Yes, I mean we are friends."

She had to smile. "So why not call her and ask about how she's doing?"

"Wouldn't that seem desperate?"

"No, it would seem nice."

"Really?"

Charlie was about to reply when they heard a knock on the door. The frowned at each other.

"Who is that?" She asked.

"I don't know." He stood up and walked out of the room to answer the door. He opened it to see Sands on the other side. "Agent Sands."

"Charlie here?"

"Oh. Uh…"

"Seriously? You're number one? Seriously?"

Charlie walked out to the hallway to see the two of them. "Sands."

"I need to talk to you."

Riley looked back at her.

"Do you mind?" She asked.

"Of course he doesn't." Sands stepped in. "And if he does, we'll probably be done by the time he stops stuttering and tells me to leave."

Sands walked into the kitchen and Charlie rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said to Riley. "I'll try to be quick."

She walked into the kitchen and closed the door. "You don't need to be such an asshole."

"Fine, whatever. We need to talk."

"Did you talk to your dad?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"You're his doctor again."

"Really?" Charlie smiled. "You convinced him?"

"Yeah, I did."

She frowned. "You don't seem too happy about this."

"I just…I had to give up the house."

"Wait, what?"

"I had to sign over the deeds to the house to get him to keep you on."

"Sands…"

"It's done already." He shrugged. "Did it yesterday. That's why I haven't been around these last few days, had to think about it and then with signing over the deeds…But you have the job again."

Charlie seemed really troubled over this.

"Charlie?" He frowned.

"I can't believe you did this." She looked guilty.

"It's just a house, this is your life."

_Who are you kidding? There wasn't a chance in hell you were going to do it when it was just a case of her being his doctor. You did it so Lucy could go to college. Damn kid is getting too under your skin if you're doing things for her you wouldn't do for Charlie. Now you're lying to her about it._

_Yeah but look at how conflicted she looks. I'm definitely going to get something good out of this. _

_She's looking, look sad._

"You're more important to me than anything." He said to her.

Charlie didn't say a word but walked close to him and kissed him. He pulled her right up against him before turning to press her back against the counter.

"Wait, stop." She said, pulling away. "Riley…"

"We could go to my place, while I'm still allowed be there."

"No, that's just putting him in an awkward situation. I can't ask him to risk his job so we can have sex."

"Charlie, I just gave away a house for your job." He said, not caring how awful he was for lying if it meant he'd get sex out of it.

"I know but believe me; I will show you how grateful I am in many, many different ways but just not here and now. We'll just have to sneak around down here too."

Her seductive tone ended suddenly and she pushed him away when they heard the door open.

"Sorry," Riley said, walking in. "Your phone was going off."

Charlie took the vibrating phone off him and answered. "Hello?"

She tried to listen but Sands glaring at a flustered Riley was annoying her. She slapped him on the arm to get him to stop.

"Yeah okay, I'll be right there." She hung up. "I gotta go to the hospital so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go for a quick shower and pray you two ladies play nicely."

She left the kitchen and hurried upstairs.

"What?" Sands huffed when Riley just stood there.

"What are you still doing here? You're not even supposed to be here in the first place."

"You gonna tattle on me? I'm the only reason you're still here to try and play the hero."

Riley frowned. "What?"

"You'd be going back to Virginia if she wasn't kept on at the hospital."

"No we wouldn't."

Now Sands was confused. "What?"

"Even if Charlie isn't working, we're still staying down here. The whole point is to keep her hidden."

"But the CIA wants her out in the open in Virginia."

"Well, before we left, they told us that we weren't going back until they said, no matter what. They're not going to use her to catch Peterson, that'd be insane."

Sands could feel his anger rising. Instead of saying anything though, he stormed out of the house and went to the hospital, waiting for her to join him in the locker room.

"Why are you always in here?" She frowned. "If anyone sees you, they'll probably ask a few questions."

He kept his voice calm. "Charlie, did you manipulate me to get me to convince my father to keep you on as his doctor?"

She wasn't looking at him as she put her bag and jacket in a locker. "Would I do that?"

"Charlie..."

"Okay fine, yes I did." She turned to him. "I knew if you thought I'd be going back to Virginia to be put in danger, you'd make your father change his mind."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I can't lose!" She said. "I am a good doctor, I may not be great at the ethical stuff, but I am good at the medical stuff! I know if I stayed on as your father's doctor that he would come to see that or I'd at least prove him wrong but I couldn't convince him because he wouldn't begin to listen to me and I can't exactly blackmail him and say 'Well if you don't keep me on, you have to pay your own medical bills', I'm not allowed. But you are so yes; I may have put the idea in your head that I should be your father's doctor. I didn't think you'd go as far as you did."

"I cannot believe you!"

"Oh please, it's not like you never manipulated me, Mister 'I'll fuck her and she'll get me new eyes'."

"That was completely different! I didn't know you!"

"You manipulated me into seeing my father."

"Is that going to come up every time we have an argument?"

"When it works." She shrugged.

"Well it doesn't. I did what I had to for my job."

"My job is to be your father's doctor. I had to do that any way I could."

"By using me?"

"You were using me to get in on my father's meetings with Sharma."

"You told me you'd forgive me if I went to see my mom."

"I did forgive you. I just didn't forget."

"I gave away my house for you! I spent years trying to get that house!"

"I didn't know you'd do that."

"You said your life was in danger!"

"Sands, do you really think I considered for one second that your father would blackmail you with that house? If you had told me before you agreed, I would have told you the truth and talked you out of it. I'm sorry that you had to go that far but I never thought you would."

"Do you even feel the slightest bit of remorse over this?" He asked.

"Of course I do but what do you want me to do? I can't take it back, you signed the papers already. All I can do is do the best job I can and show you that I had a reason to do what I did."

"There is no reason good enough!"

Charlie didn't say anything but the look she gave him was enough.

"Yeah, I get it." He said. "There's no reason good enough, just like there wasn't any reason good enough for me to do what I did with your father. I'm finally beginning to realise why you had such a hard time forgiving me. You were right, if this is the kinda shit we're going to pull on each other, there's no point in any of this."

"Sands." She called as he walked out of the room. She sighed when he was gone. "Great."

She left the locker room and made her way to his father's room where Darryl was sitting in the visitor's chair, a laptop open in front of him.

"I think you're making a mistake."

"I didn't ask for your opinion." Rex told his son shortly. "We need money; I now have something to sell that will get us money. Just put up the ad and shut up."

Charlie frowned. He was selling the house? What was the point of that? Sands told her he'd spent years trying to get that house.

"You just going to stand there, doc?" Rex raised an eyebrow at her. "Already proving you're as useless as I expected."

Darryl looked up at her apologetically as she walked into the room.

"Just need to check a few things." She said, going to the chart. "Pretend like I'm not here."

"If only." Rex huffed before looking back at his son. "Is it up?"

"Yeah, it's for sale. I don't understand why but…"

"Do I look like I'm going out farming anytime soon, boy? Anyway, Sheldon had to shoehorn his way in and get the girl tested for dyslexia so now that's going to cost more money with all the specialised teaching and shit she needs."

"I told you Lucy was probably dyslexic."

"Well why don't you and Sheldon go high five each other over how smart you two are?"

Darryl closed the laptop and got up. "I'm gonna go find…Anyone else."

He left the room and Rex looked at Charlie.

"You hear enough over there?"

"It's none of my business, Mister Sands."

"No, it ain't."

Charlie shut her mouth.

* * *

"Wow, look at this stuff."

"I don't need to, I can read."

Lucy looked at Sands tiredly. "You're so funny." She went back to the package that she had been given when she was diagnosed. "You really think all this will help?"

"If you stick with it and have proper support." He said the last part in his mother's direction who was looking across the room at the two of them with a stony expression. Sands had to admit, it was deeply satisfying to have won this over her. It was almost worth it just for that alone. His smugness faded when Darryl came into the room, holding his phone in his hand.

"Hey Shel, talk to this guy. He's calling about the house and you know more about it than I do."

Sands took the phone begrudgingly and got up, leaving the room.

"Hello?"

"Mister Sands, my name is Christopher Rhodes. I'm very interested in purchasing the house your family is selling but I have a few questions."

Sands was tempted to sabotage his father's chances while he had the chance but realised he had done this more for the younger members of his family than for the older ones.

_I need to get back to murder and sabotage after all this. I miss my missions._

"Ask away."

* * *

"Doctor Macintosh, you have a phone call."

Charlie turned from Rex to the nurse who had come into the room.

"One second, Mister Sands." She said, thankful to get away. He really was unpleasant. She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Charlie. It's Matt."

"Hi Matt. You take a look at the case I sent you?"

"Just finished looking over it now. The chemo isn't working?"

"Not really. We're trying to shrink the tumour before I can operate but it's not happening. You got any advice?"

"I think so. There's a new drug, discovered in the Imperial University of London, apparently it acts as a great substitute for chemo. PD173074 is its name. It's an FGFR1 inhibitor so it blocks the cell's ability to resist chemo treatment. If it does its job, it should reduce the tumour and you can perform a pneumonectomy."

"Remove the entire lung?"

"It's a risk but if you can do it, I say you should. This guy isn't going to give you an easy fight."

"I thought as much, I was just hoping you'd tell me I was wrong. Okay, thanks Matt. I owe you."

"No problem."

She hung up the phone and scratched her forehead.

"What are you doing back here?"

Charlie looked up when Wyatt came towards her.

"Your father took me back on as his doctor." She told him.

"Seriously? What'd you do? Bribe him?"

_Yes._

"I'm just good at my job." She said. "So I'll be treating your father indefinitely."

"As long as you don't talk to my wife, I don't care what you do."

"I won't get personal with your wife but if I see a repeat of what happened last time, I have every right to call security and have you removed from the premises or call the police depending on how bad things get."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not at all. This hospital has a code of behaviour and I'm just letting you know it."

"Just stay away from her."

"Mister Sands, you can say that to me over and over and over again but if I see you lay a hand on your wife, I will intervene and have you removed from the premises. Otherwise, I am here to be your father's doctor and nothing else. I have no interest in your marriage or in your personal life altogether."

"Then why did you want to talk to Faith after I was gone?"

"I was just trying to diffuse the situation. I assure you that I am in no way against you or your family. I am just trying to keep things running smoothly for your father's sake."

"My father's sake? You think this is all so hard on my father?"

"Your father is my patient and my duty is to him. I would like to do everything I can to make sure he is comfortable and well looked after. I'm positive that making sure his family members aren't fighting or being removed from the hospital will do that for him."

Wyatt nearly laughed at her. "You really think he cares? Aw doc, you're in for so many surprises I think I'll shut up just to stick around and watch. You see, I'm just a product of my environment. As they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You think I'm bad?" He pointed into the room. "I learned everything I know from that patient you're trying to make sure is hidden from all the fighting and discomfort. There's a reason my brother, your little co-worker buddy, never came home. Being reminded of how you spend every day growing up getting the shit kicked out of you isn't a great family reunion."

Charlie tried not to look shocked but she had a feeling she was feeling.

"So tell me doc, who's the real monster? Him for beating his kids, me for following in his footsteps or you, Doctor, for making sure he gets well enough to start doing it again?"

* * *

**I think Sands is discovering a part of himself which he's rather stayed very hidden. Then again, he really messed around with Charlie in this chapter so he's not losing himself completely!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Sands was standing in the kitchen of the house and preparing dinner when his cell phone went off. The house had been sold a few days ago and he'd been getting calls about it constantly so he didn't think anything of answering the phone.

"Hello."

"Putting her into hiding just because I paid her a visit? Someone's overprotective."

Sands stilled his movements at hearing the voice. "You did beat the shit out of her. I would say that warrants protection."

"Do you? If I found her in Turkey, I can find wherever you put her."

"If you could, you wouldn't have called me."

"Of course I would. I actually enjoy our little talks. I find it amusing that you think you know her so much better than me, like I didn't spend ten years with her."

"Oh, I have no doubt that you know plenty about her. It's what you do with the information is the problem."

"Is it?"

"Well, blackmailing her into having sex with you when you know why it terrifies her, that's a problem. Actually, that's rape."

"I'm a rapist now too? I have been busy. It's funny how she never once said that word to me."

"It's not funny. And yes, blackmailing someone into having sex with you and not stopping when they cry the entire way through because they hate it so much is rape. I know you're not too bright when it comes to what the law is but that's one of them. Maybe your extreme lack of knowledge is what made you fail to get into the CIA."

"I think it was probably more my anger issues."

"Maybe."

"I don't really think telling someone that you can't stay in a sexless relationship after years is blackmail."

"For some reason, I don't think you were as coherent and logical as you would have me believe. I would think it was more along the lines of using her fear of being alone against her to get what you wanted."

"Am I supposed to deny that I wanted to have sex with her? I did. I still do. I'm waiting patiently."

"You'll die waiting."

"I don't think so. I got into her apartment and pinned her down once; I think I can do it again."

Sands could feel his blood boiling but wouldn't take the bait. "Like you said, you'll have to find her first before you attempt to rape her for, what is it? The fourth time now? Or was every time in those ten years due to blackmail? I can tell you one thing; she didn't enjoy it, not until I came along."

"I'm sure she said that, gotta boost that ego."

"I guess it's just more enjoyable when you're not crying and the person you're having sex with actually gives a shit if you get off or not. Also, the fact that she very clearly would have preferred to just have a sexless life than be anywhere near you until her early twenties and then afterwards still would have preferred to be sexless for ten years might be an indication that yeah, she wasn't loving it."

"And yet, like you said, she stayed with me for ten years, even without wanting sex. You two got emotional and she couldn't last a year, what does that say about you? She stayed with me for ten years and she couldn't deal with you for one. Whose relationship sounds more loving there?"

"Am I supposed to include the time that you tried to blow her up? Or tried to have her face mutilated? Or kidnapped her? Or had her shot? Or barged into her apartment and assaulted her? Or are we only including the ways you fucked her over while you two were together? I was only around for the end of that but I could probably come up with a few examples. The time you two got mugged and you used her as a human shield comes to mind."

"Had to play my part. You also forgot the time I had her drugged so I could take her out of the club but you were traipsing around her as usual."

"I was never clear on that part of it. That was your plan, huh? Well you still got to carry that out on all those women you're kidnapping and torturing so you know…"

"So you were the one that put that into her head? I shouldn't be surprised."

"I figured it out when I noticed they all looked like her. You really should try not to make it so obvious."

"That's it? That's your evidence? Why is the CIA so desperate to keep you around?"

"You wouldn't know, you don't work there. Is that why you're so bitter? You lost her to someone who works in the place that wouldn't accept you? The CIA thought I was better and now so does she."

"Does she? I would have thought after you brought her rapist back into her life to terrorize her nonstop, her favour for you would have dropped. Considering you two broke up, I would think I'm right."

"Still, I never used what happened her against her to get sex. I still win. You can kidnap as many lookalikes as you want; we both know it'll never be enough."

You think I'm capable of kidnapping all those women but not her? I was in her home. She kissed me and let me tell you, it was good."

"I'm sure you would get off on absolute terror."

"That's why she agreed to have sex with me until I put a stop to it? Not her, me."

Sands tried not to let that new development get to him. It was a lie or it was a trick she had played him. Either way, it wasn't true. "Why would you stop? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"She said she'd get on her back if I admitted to kidnapping those women. I didn't so I couldn't. I could have lied and I'd be gloating a lot more right now but unlike you, I don't need to manipulate women into bed. That's all you were interested in at the start, wasn't it? Getting her into bed? Dropped her right after."

"Yeah, you got me. I'm the one who played with her."

"You know, she and I were making small talk when waiting for you to show up at that factory and she said something very interesting to me. I asked her why she thought you loved her and you know what she said? 'I don't know', couldn't even come up with a reason. That's all on you. Imagine the woman you love not even having enough good thoughts about herself when it comes to you that she can't even really believe you could love her. I mean, what did you do to her? I stuck around for ten years, I proposed, I'm evading all types of law enforcement just to be near her and what have you done? Reunited her with her rapist and dropped her right after. Yeah, you're a regular day knight in shining armour, huh? All loving and affectionate while you've got her so beaten down by your different mental tortures that she just accepts whatever you tell her. And you think you and I are different, that I'm the villain. That's funny."

Sands had to admit; maybe Barry had won this one. He genuinely didn't know what to say about that. He turned when he heard footsteps on his porch followed by a knock on the door. He went to the window and saw Charlie standing there, waiting. "Well this has been fun. You should call back sometime."

"Is she there?"

"Goodbye, psychopath."

Sands hung up the phone and went to the door, opening it.

"Charlie."

"I wasn't sure if you would still be here."

Sands shrugged, trying to act casual and not like he'd just had a very disturbing conversation with her ex. "Gotta stay somewhere. Why are you here?"

"You haven't been to the hospital in days."

"Had no reason to want to be there."

Charlie looked at the floor.

"Are you here for something?" Sands asked, trying to act like he hadn't just been having quite a casual conversation with her psycho ex about her sexual history. That being said, he had been quite angry with her before and he wasn't forgetting that. Even though, with the way she was looking, it was hard. The front of her hair was clipped back and straight and she was wearing tight jeans with a black string top and a leather jacket. The Georgia summer weather had tanned her nicely and she looked way too good for him to not want to be anywhere near.

"The house sold."

Sands nodded. "Some guy called Christopher Rhodes. At least I know if the CIA fires me, I'll make a career in real estate. You know, if I'm not murdered."

"Actually…" Charlie reached into her bag and pulled out a folder. She handed it to him and Sands took it with a frown, opening it to see the deeds to the house.

"What's going on?"

Charlie shrugged. "I have some money stashed away in case you weren't aware."

"If you were the buyer, who the hell is Christopher Rhodes?"

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "Could you care less about anything in my life?"

"What?"

"You don't know what kind of doctor I am, you don't care about where I am in the CIA, you hate my mother and my sister, you don't even remember my brother's name…"

Sands' eyes widened. "You have a brother."

Charlie nodded. "My brother, Chris."

"Christopher Rhodes is your brother."

"And my nominee so I could buy the house anonymously, through him."

Sands looked at her. "Why? Why bother?"

"So I can make amends and give you back the house."

"What?" He held out the file. "No, I can't take this."

"Sands, this isn't about me doing something nice or whatever, I screwed up. I never thought you would go this far to get me as your father's doctor. This is just me trying to right things. This way everyone wins, you get to keep your house and I get to stay on as your father's doctor."

"I'm not taking this much money."

"It's not money, it's a house. It's your house."

"And you bought it."

"You bought it first, you didn't lose any money, you didn't gain any money. This is the way everything's supposed to be."

"You lost money. Are you seriously telling me you would have forked up that much cash if my father said he'd let you be his doctor if you would?"

"Probably. I have money; I need validation in my job."

"You are validated in your job."

"Not really. I need everyone to see how good I am." Charlie shrugged. "Which I can do now. Your father I doing well and you have your house back, everyone's a winner."

"Hmmm." Sand replied at the thought of his father getting better or winning anything.

Charlie bit her lip wondering if she should bring up what Wyatt told her. "So, are you going to take the house?"

"I don't know."

"Sands, I don't want the house. You do. You not taking it will be more of a hindrance because I'll have to try and sell it again so will you please just take it?"

"I don't want this held over my head for the rest of my life."

She frowned. "Do you really think I would do that? I don't want to hold anything over you; I want to fix what I ruined. I am not like that."

"Everyone's like that in an argument."

"I'm not." She was getting frustrated now. "The fact that you think I am means you think very little of me."

"So I'm at fault now? Because I'm not rushing to take something that only crazy people use as a peace offering? I know it might be hard to contemplate when you grew up living with your maids and your mansions or whatever but us normal people have problems with using property as little tokens of appreciation. I don't have an inheritance hidden away to return the favour by buying you a yacht or a private island."

Now she was furious. "Fuck you."

She went to walk off the porch but Sands called her back.

"Charlie, wait."

"No."

"Just come back. I'm sorry, alright?"

She turned and walked back to the door. "Don't talk about my past like you have any idea of what it was like. I don't pretend to know how you grew up."

"Alright, I overstepped the mark."

"I wasn't like that."

"I know you weren't."

"Then why say it?"

"Because this is a bit much." He held up the file. "Charlie, I can't take it."

"It's your house."

"I gave it away."

"And I got it back but I'm not keeping it." Then she had an idea. "I'll sell it to you."

"I already decided I didn't want to buy this place again."

"I think you'll find my offer very agreeable."

He was intrigued. "What?"

"Give up smoking."

"What?" He was positive he misheard.

"Give up smoking." She shrugged. "You know I hate it. Your father has lung cancer."

"My father never smoked a cigarette in his life."

"They killed my grandfather. So there, give up smoking and you get the house as a reward."

Sands was silent, debating. Eventually, he stepped to the side but still didn't say anything. She smirked and walked into the house. He closed the door as she turned to look at him.

"I'll think about it."

Charlie smiled. "Really?"

"Sure, why not? Shit's expensive anyway and I'm sick of being stuck outside."

"Think you can do it?"

_Nope, I'm going to cheat every day but if it shuts you up about them and I get the house back, I will gladly lie._

"Yup."

"Good. I guess I really will be going then."

"You just came inside."

"What's the point of staying? We're done."

"Are we?"

She shrugged. "Well, you haven't even wanted to look at me in days."

"And before that, you didn't want to be anywhere near me." He countered. "But then you bought a house to give to me."

"Like I said, I was just trying to right a wrong."

"Why bother?" He had to ask. "Why would you care if I lost out as long as you got what you wanted? That's what people who manipulate do, I should know."

Charlie shrugged. "I'm not like you."

"Who are you kidding? You're the proudest person I know and you've never cared about treating people like shit to get ahead. Ask your staff."

"I didn't take a house from any of my staff and you don't work for me."

"You once fired a guy who was trying to pay for a wedding for correctly assuming that you and I had sex. You don't give a shit what you take from them and I really don't think it matters if they work for you or not."

"What do you want me to say? I felt bad; I took care of it so I don't feel bad anymore."

Sands shook his head. "I really don't understand you. You pick and choose when and what you care about. At least I have principles about what I don't care about."

"I have principles!" She said indignantly.

"Yeah, whenever it fucking suits you. It's impossible to figure where to draw the line with you. You hated me for making you see your father and then you turned around and did the same thing to me. You can't act outraged about something you yourself are capable of! Not to mention, you say you never want to use your grandfather's money and then you buy me a fucking house with it. Talk about putting me in a fucking awkward position."

"It's not awkward at all."

"You are very awkward; you are too awkward to deal with." Sands said. "I tried to turn down taking a house from you, a rational reaction, and you had a hissy fit and tried to storm off. So basically what we have here is that I screwed you over and you held it over my head for way too long and then the second it was convenient, you turned around and did the exact same thing to me after which you were completely unremorseful. I could finally call us even after that and then you buy me a fucking house. I don't even know what to be put out over, there's too many different things."

"You're looking for reasons to be angry with me? I bought you a house!"

"Because you fucked up! Why should I forgive you at all?"

"You do this shit all the time to me!" She said angrily. "You always say and do the most horrible things to me!"

"Yeah, I've done my fair share of shit but I've never done it because I wanted to and when have I ever said anything mean to you?" He frowned. "You're the only fucking person I'm nice to!"

"You constantly make me feel like shit! If you're not saying I'm a bad doctor, you're saying I dress like a whore and if it's not that then it's that I'm bad in bed or that my family is awful or I'll cheat on you or so many other horrible things. I have plenty of examples."

Sands cursed inwardly. She did have a lot of examples. "I did not say you were bad in bed!"

"Yes you did! At the border patrol station after Mexico! You said it then."

"I was lying!"

"You had to lie about that?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "Obviously you thought it up from somewhere but then again, I was just a rookie and you knew that." She repeated his own words back to him.

"I was trying to be an asshole."

"You never have to try at that."

"I very obviously don't think you're bad in bed!" Sands argued. "I try to get you into bed enough times, don't I?"

"But you had no problem saying it. And you're so condescending about it, talking about how I've only been with two guys whenever I try to say anything about sex. How would I know because I've only had sex with two people? Oh how inexperienced I must be."

Sands was about to ask when he ever did that but though of a few times when he actually had and knew she was thinking of them too. "I don't think you're inexperienced or bad in bed. Considering that I've had sex with you many times and I'm looking at you now and still all I can think of is ripping your clothes off, I would say you're very good in bed."

Charlie glared at him. "That's why you called me back here? For sex?"

"I called you back because you're looking really good right now and I'm bored."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I've never denied that I like looking at you even if I can't stand hearing you talk."

"Go fuck yourself."

They were in tense silence until Sands looked at her.

"Want to have sex?"

Charlie looked at him sternly for a few seconds before her expression softened and she shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine."

He grabbed her waist and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck until Sands turned them around and pushed her back onto the couch, going to lie on top of her. He pulled her jacket off of her before kissing her again.

"Wait, wait." She said, parting the kiss. "Are we doing it here?"

"I wasn't planning the location too far ahead and just seeing how things went but sure, why not?"

"Then close the blinds."

"Seriously? We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Close them."

"But-"

"Sands."

"I'm just saying-"

"Sheldon."

Sands huffed and got up. He closed the curtains as Charlie took off her boots and unzipped her jeans. When he turned back to the couch, she was pulling them down her legs.

"In a rush, sugar?" He walked back to stand in front of her.

"Just moving things along." She threw hers aside and unzipped his. He shrugged and took off his t-shirt When his clothes were off, she moved back to lie back on the couch and he settled on top of her again.

"Is this a good idea?" Charlie asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"We're pretty mad at each other right now. I'm still mad about what you did to Dean and what Waitrose told me and you're mad over the house."

"On the other hand, it's summer so it's hot, sweaty, we're very worked up, our angry sex is always a winner and we're already half naked."

Charlie was still for a few seconds.

"Okay."

They kissed again.

* * *

"Man, there was really no point in spending all that time straightening my hair."

Sands looked at her looking at a strand of her sweaty and slightly frizzy hair. She was lying back on the couch with a blanket over her and one leg sticking out with her knee bent. Sands was lying on the other end of the couch in his boxers.

"I gotta say, you look much better looking like you do right now."

"You mean naked?"

"Yeah, that."

Charlie smiled. "I should probably get back soon."

"Or you could stay. I was about to start dinner when you stopped by."

"And let me guess, after dinner we'll have sex again?"

"That would be the plan."

Charlie sat up. "And what's the plan after that?"

"More sex."

"Sounds good."

"You're not going to get into some tirade about how just having sex isn't helping anything and you don't do sex with no strings?"

"I don't think you could say anything we ever do has no strings anymore."

Sands put his hand on her leg and squeezed the back of her calf lightly. "Yeah, that's true. Still, you could say it's not helping anything."

"What are we trying to help exactly? Neither of us wants to get back together at the moment but we do enjoy having angry sex so we do."

Sands considered that. It was strange for a few reasons; it was the first time that not one of them was trying to chase the other and it was strange that Charlie was the one who realised it first and was fine with it.

"Why are you okay with that? You never usually are."

She shrugged. "It's usually you who screws up but it was me this time and I feel quite bad."

"So sex is your way of saying sorry?" He smirked. "I like your approach."

"Actually, getting the house back was my way of making amends; this just makes me feel less horrible."

Sands felt a pang of guilt at that though he never would have before. He couldn't tell her he wouldn't sell the house for her even if he thought it meant she was going back to Virginia to be used a bait. She was trying to make up and feel less terrible about something that was in no way her fault.

For some annoying yet obvious reasons, Barry's words came back to him about them both being alike. "Hey sugar, you know I do love you, right?"

Charlie frowned. "Uh…Yeah, I think so."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

"You don't know?"

"What I mean is that some people might think you don't really love me but I think you do, in your own way. It might not be the most conventional way but I do believe you when you say it."

"What? So you think I think I love you but I could be wrong? I just have good intentions when I say it?"

"No, that sounds awful."

"That's what I'm hearing."

"We'll, you're hearing me wrong then."

"Do you know why I love you?" He asked.

"Because you do?"

"Specific reasons."

"I'm not going to list anything."

"Try."

Charlie frowned. "No."

"Charlie..."

"Why are you asking me these things?"

"Because of all the stuff you said a while ago about me saying horrible things. You do know even though I might say those things sometimes, I do love you?"

"Do you want to get back together?" She frowned.

"No, why would you think that?"

"You're talking about how you really love me, why?"

"I told you. I don't think you do know why."

"Fine, okay? I don't know why you love me. You say you fell in love with me in Mexico but I can't help feel some of the things you said in the border patrol station were true to you at the time."

"None of that was true, I told you that."

"Sands, people don't pluck faults out of thin air and make them believable. You said them and I believed them so on some level, they must be true."

"No, I just came up with some bullshit that I knew you were insecure about because I needed you to believe it but that doesn't mean I did."

Charlie stayed silent. She didn't even know how they'd gotten onto this. "I know you love me."

"Do you?"

"Yes. I'm not that pathetic as to let someone lie to me for the past year just so I can pretend like I matter to someone. I may be a wreck but I would think a little more highly of myself than that."

"So once again, I'm capable of it but you're smarter than to fall for it." He said, getting angry at the thought.

"Where is this coming from? Why are you so worried what I think now?"

"I just want you to know that I do love you and I have my reasons. Even when we were in Mexico, I had my reasons."

"Well I can't help it if what you said in the station stuck with me. You lied very well."

Sands was silent for a while. There was really nothing he could do about that. He'd already said those things, the damage was done. He could try and tell her that he didn't mean or believe them until he was blue in the face, it wouldn't seem to work. So maybe Barry was right after all. The thought killed him.

After a while, he got up from the couch. "I don't know about you but I'm starving."

He walked into the kitchen and Charlie looked after him, her mind on another trouble entirely to his. She didn't know if she should bring up what Wyatt had told her. On one hand, she didn't think Sands would appreciate it or want to talk about it at all but on the other, her curiosity was niggling away at her. Was Wyatt even telling the truth?

_You've met the man; you know it could only be too true._

_But I don't want it to be._

_It would explain a lot._

Charlie got up and got dressed before walking out to the kitchen.

"Why are you wearing clothes?" Sands asked, not liking it at all.

"Because I have to tell you something and I'm nearly sure you're going to throw me out when I do."

That made him apprehensive. "Go on."

"I was at the hospital last week and your brother approached me…"

"Which one?"

"Wyatt."

"Okay."

"He was telling me to stay away from his wife and I just told him that I was there to take care of your father and he told me…"

"What?"

Charlie sighed. "He told me that…What your father did, when you were younger."

Sands frowned at her. "Is that it?"

"I- Yes?" Maybe Wyatt had lied to her. "I thought you wouldn't want me to know?"

"I thought you did know."

"That your father used to be physically abusive when you were kids?"

"I really thought you would have figured that out a hell of a lot sooner. Fuck, I thought you had connected those dots months ago. You're a genius? Really?"

Charlie looked at him, confused. "It's not something you automatically assume about a person!"

"When the person hates and avoids their father like the plague, it can be a pretty safe assumption. You're lucky you still got looks, sugar because the brains seem to be going first."

"Hey! It's not my fault that you never told me anything! You always told me your family life was normal but it just wasn't your life anymore."

"Yeah but when has that ever been true for anyone, ever? You told me your father was dead when I first asked you about him. Died of a heart attack, remember?"

"That's different!"

"No, it isn't. You were just slow."

"Because I didn't immediately assume that your father beat you? Even if I did know that, I can't believe you're acting this nonchalant about it."

"How the hell do you want me to act? It's not still happening. It happened, it sucked, I got out and left it behind me. I now try to avoid my parents at all costs."

"Except you're here now."

"It's not like papa dearest will be taking off the belt from his hospital bed and like I've said every time, I'm here for you, not them. I am in no way down here to see my family which I've mostly not done. Just because I spent a few days at the hospital doesn't mean I'm repressing some deep, sad past. I hate my parents but I hate a lot of people I have to spend time with. I act like an adult about it."

"Well…That's fine then." She looked severely put out.

"Are you mad at me because I am not torturing myself about my past?"

"I am not mad. I am fine."

Sands scrutinised her before realising. "You wanted me to spill out everything like you did at the diner so we could be even."

"I did not want that."

"Yes you did. You found out I had a bad past just like you do and you wanted to level the playing field."

"You do not have a bad past like I do; I'm still being affected by mine."

"Exactly. You wanted me to feel all tortured and vulnerable so you could make me feel better."

"No, I meant because Wyman is still trying to ruin my life and I can't get rid of him."

That made Sands shut up being smug.

"You always said your family was completely normal, why wouldn't I believe you?"

Sands shrugged. "I didn't think I was lying. Every family has fucked up shit happening behind the scenes."

"Not like that, they don't."

"What would have been the point of opening my mouth about specifics? I didn't want to and you didn't need to know."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Once again," He huffed. "I did not go looking for Wyman or your secrets, I was sent by the CIA to do my job."

"And I've been sent to do mine. I should go."

"Why?" He frowned. "Because I didn't tell you stuff that honestly doesn't matter to me anymore?"

"No, because you're my patient's son and I shouldn't be anywhere near you." She clarified. "I really have to get better at this ethics stuff, being in the CIA so long kinda took me out of it."

"So I just screwed myself by mentioning the CIA?"

She shrugged. "Actually, you prevented yourself from being screwed anymore by mentioning the CIA. Sorry, I can't do anything remembering that I'm down here to treat your father."

"God damnit."

"I know. I really am a terrible doctor in a lot of ways."

"Right now, you're much too good at it."

Charlie smiled. "That's the nicest thing you've said to me in so long."

Sands glared at her.

The next day, Charlie was walking into the hospital when she heard a familiar voice. This time though, it was a difference Sands waiting for her.

"Hey Charlie!"

"Hey Lucy, what are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you, actually."

"Why?"

"Because I haven't seen Sheldon in forever and I was wondering if you had?"

"Oh." Charlie refrained from grimacing about just how she'd seen him. "Yeah, I saw him a few days ago. He's still at the house."

Lucy frowned. "Even though it sold?"

Charlie shrugged since she had no idea what else to say.

"I feel really bad about it." Lucy said.

Charlie walked over and sat next to her on the bench. "Bad about what?"

"Making him lose the house."

"Aw Lucy, you didn't do that."

"I did though. Sheldon told my dad that he'd only give him the house if he sold it so there would be money to pay off the bank and any money left would be so I could go to college. He only did that because I told him I was scared of losing our home and having to drop out of school. Now he won't come anywhere near the family and I can't talk to him."

Charlie hadn't heard that part of the deal. "When did Sheldon make this deal with your father?"

Lucy shrugged. "A few days after you stopped being his doctor, I think."

"But he'd gone to see your father that same day too."

"Oh yeah."

"But he didn't agree to give up the house then?"

"Maybe."

"When did you talk to him?"

"Later that night. I was helping him around the house, except he wasn't really doing anything."

"And when you were with him at the house, he hadn't agreed to give it to your father yet?"

"No." She shook her head. "He did that the day I got tested for my dyslexia."

"When you were with him at the house," Charlie asked. "Did he say anything about me being his father's doctor?"

"He said he couldn't make it happen but he did so everything turned out okay."

"But that day, at the house, he said that he couldn't make me his father's doctor?"

"Yeah, no."

"And a few days later, he agreed to give up his house if your father got your family out of debt and set up savings to get you to college?"

Lucy looked nervous. "I have a feeling I may have put my foot in it but I don't know how."

Charlie looked at her before smiling. "No, it's fine. Everything's…Fine."

"Really?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know but you don't seem too happy."

"I'm fine. Sheldon did a wonderful thing for you."

"Yeah, I never thought he'd do something like that."

Charlie smiled again. "His actions don't surprise me in the slightest."

Lucy smiled, not getting the full weight of Charlie's words.

A few nights later, Charlie was asleep in bed when she was awoken to her phone vibrating and lighting up. She sat up and yawned as she answered, wondering who was calling her in the middle of the night.

"Hello?"

"I'm outside."

She immediately wasn't interested. "Good for you."

"Charlie, we need to talk."

"Lucy get on to you, did she?"

"I've been waiting for you to come by and tear my head off and I can't live in suspense anymore so I came to you."

"Well now you can go home, I'm busy."

"Charlie…"

She huffed and hung up before putting on a cardigan instead of getting changed out of her nightdress. She snuck downstairs and walked outside the safe house to see Sands standing up against his car, his hands in his pockets. She didn't open her mouth as she looked down at him from the porch with folded arms. Sands didn't open his mouth either.

"Okay, it's dark, you're wearing black and I'm not wearing my glasses or contacts so I can't see anything." She said. "Either you have to speak or move around because all I'm seeing is a bit of a blur and I did not wake up for that. You know I can't see for shit."

Sands sighed and stood from reclining against his car. "I know you're angry."

"Why would I be angry? You helped your sister out, that was a nice thing to do."

"I lied to you."

"I lied to you first," She shrugged. "We're even."

"Do you really believe that?"

"You clearly don't care what I believe."

Sands sighed and stood up straight. "The bank was going to repossess their own house unless they got their money back and Lucy was terrified that she was going to have to drop out of school to help with money so I told my dad I'd give him the house on the condition that he would sell it and use the money to pay off his debts and use the rest so Lucy could go to college."

"Then why tell me you got rid of the house for me if I wasn't even involved in that entire thing?"

"You were involved."

Charlie frowned before realising. "Your father started this whole house business when you went to him about me being his doctor again."

"Yeah."

"And you turned him down?"

"Straight away."

"So you told me that you did it because of what I did when really, you were doing it to help Lucy?"

"Well, I really was pissed that you used me."

"You didn't know I had used you when you turned your father down and you didn't know when you came and told me that you did it for me. You genuinely thought I'd be going back to Virginia and that the CIA could use me to find Barry and you would have preferred to let that happen than to give up to your dad."

"No because I would have gone back with you and made sure you stayed safe."

"But when you did give up the house for other reasons, you had no problem telling me that you did it for me to make me feel guilty and to use it as a way for me to sleep with you again."

"That's the gist of it."

Charlie shook her head. "I cannot believe you. God, even when I win, I don't really win. I should have known you were lying to me, you always lie to me."

"I do not and hey, you're not exactly innocent either here, sugar. You manipulated me into talking to my dad and that's how this entire thing started. Not to mention, you are his doctor again. That was involved in the deal so really, I didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes you did because when your dad gave you the choice when it was down to me, you said no. You thought I'd be going back to Virginia to be used as bait and you said no."

"You weren't going back to Virginia."

"You didn't know that. You were willing to risk my life to make sure you could keep screwing over your dad."

"I was not risking your life." He said firmly. "If you were going back to Virginia then so was I. You were the one who used your life being put in danger to your advantage. You actually tried to make me believe if I didn't talk to my dad, you could die. Who the hell does something like that?"

"You? That would be typical of you."

"You know, I thought you'd like that I was doing something nice for Lucy."

"This is not about Lucy; this is about you blaming me for something I didn't have anything to do with. You stormed into that hospital and you practically crucified me for tricking you into talking to your dad and it turns out, that conversation didn't even come to anything. You blamed me for losing the house to him and you didn't do it for me at all."

"Yeah well, I thought if you thought I made some huge sacrifice for you, we'd get back together or you'd at least put out a few times."

"I am going to slap you so hard."

"What? So we both just proved that we're backstabbers. At least the way I did was so I could help my sister, you were just trying to help yourself."

"Telling me that it was solely my fault you had to give up the house in the hope I would feel guilty enough to sleep with you was to help Lucy?"

"Okay, not everything I did was to help Lucy." He admitted. "But you only cared about your career. We're both liars and we're both selfish."

Charlie sat down on the steps of the porch, feeling miserable. "I thought the point of this relationship was that we wouldn't do that to each other?"

Sands stayed silent.

"You told me you'd never lie to me." She said. "In that hotel room in Turkey, the morning after we said we loved each other, you told me you'd never lie to me. You said you wouldn't want to be with someone who you had to lie to just to get near. Now you're lying to me to get me to sleep with you. Lying to me to make me feel bad so I'll have sex with you."

His earlier conversation with her ex was ringing in his ears at that. "That makes it sound like blackmail and I didn't do that, I didn't blackmail you. We didn't sleep together because of the house, we slept together because like you said, we were angry and it was fun."

"We would have though, if Riley hadn't come into the kitchen that day with the phone. You were convincing me to."

"But I never wanted to blackmail you."

"You shouldn't have lied to me."

"You lied to me first."

"Not to get you to have sex with me." She frowned.

"I wouldn't mind if you did." She glared at him. "Look, what was I supposed to tell you?"

"The truth?"

"That I would rather have sent you back to Virginia than let my dad win? That would have worked out well."

"You could have come to me and told me that your dad was trying to take your house off you. I would have understood. You didn't talk to me for days and then when you manipulated things that had nothing to do with me, you decided to use these new circumstances to make me feel guilty. You don't do that to someone you love and considering you don't want to get back together with me anyway, why are you even here?"

"I don't know. I am angry with you but I don't want you to be angry with me and I don't want to hurt you but I'm bitter with you and I don't know. I can safely say this relationship has been the biggest mind fuck I've ever gone through."

Charlie nodded. "Me too."

He walked over and sat next to her. "Maybe…Maybe I'm the one who should go back to Virginia."

She looked at him. "Really?"

"I came here to be with you but that's not really working out, is it? I thought if I could get you alone, things would be better. Things are always better when no one else is getting involved with us."

"I don't think I even remember what that feels like." She half-joked. "If it's not the CIA, it's my family and if it's not my family, it's your family and if it's not your family, it's my enemies and if it's not my enemies, it's…Actually, your enemies have been pretty docile these past few months, it's just my enemies."

"I would consider Wyman and…Him to be my enemies too."

"They wouldn't be if it weren't for me. You'd be rich and have a great car and perks if it weren't for me."

Sands tensed. "You know it was Wyman who gave me that stuff?"

"He told me after Sharma."

He looked at her. "I got rid of all of it."

"I know." She nodded. "Means a lot. After your stunt in Mexico, this must have seemed like the luckiest thing in the world for you."

Sands didn't like hearing that. "It means a lot that I gave up money from your rapist? Seriously?"

Charlie looked at him. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Really? Because it sounded like you meant that I'm so money-hungry that I would have preferred to keep it but I made some grand gesture by not. It wasn't a grand gesture, it was the only option. The only reason I took that stupid money in the first place was because of you."

"Me?" That she didn't understand.

"Yes. Well, no. You entered my head when I was considering it."

"Why?"

Sands looked at her. "I was sick of you thinking I cared about your money."

"I've never thought you cared about my money. Maybe for about a day when we were in Malibu and you brought it up but generally, I've never thought that was an issue."

"Not that I'd want it but that I felt insecure about it." He said. "I always had to clarify when I was paying for food or whatever that I was not paying because I was threatened by your money. I genuinely don't care that you have money but what I did care about was you thinking I cared about it. I wasn't insecure about your money but it felt like you thought so every time money was brought up. I figured if I had my own, that you would stop worrying so much."

"I guess it's because I'm the one who's insecure about that money. I always have been. I just knew how much you had risked in the past for money so that's why I didn't ever bring Wyman's money up to you; I didn't want to make drama." She had a laugh sarcastically at that. "That's hard to believe, that I've ever tried to avoid drama in this relationship."

"We are good at it."

"I would say we're very bad at it."

"We were good at some stuff; we were good at being on our own."

"Except no one ever left us alone. There was always someone on the side lines waiting to ruin everything whether it was Wyman or Waitrose…"

"Believe me; she did not ruin anything for me."

"She tried. She was the one who told you that rumour about me and Thompson."

Sands frowned at her. "You know that too?"

"Yes I do. You told me that you overheard a bunch of guys talking about Thompson making up shit about me but I know it was really Gina Waitrose." She looked at him. "Why lie?"

"Because you've never taken too kindly to anything that involves her. You might not realise it but it's hard to trust you to stay unbiased about something when her name gets mentioned. It's hard to deal with, in case you didn't know."

"I don't know? Are you serious?" She asked incredulously. "I don't know what it's like to hear about someone from your past? Something like 'Your psychotic ex'? Or 'Your mistake'? You've never once called him by his name, no every time it's just a reminder that he's my problem."

"There is a big difference between your ex and Waitrose." Sands argued.

"You just did it again. Your ex. Call him by his name and we'll talk about being unbiased."

"I am biased against him, you tell me anything about him and I will hate it. But me telling you that Gina Waitrose lied to me would result in you saying that she pulled it out of thin air when really, Thompson tried to mount you during a physical. I would have never known that if I had told you that Waitrose told me. On the other hand, there is literally nothing you can tell me about him that I won't immediately find repulsive but I will believe you, no matter what you say. I can't depend on you to do that with Waitrose."

Charlie was silent for a while. "Are you really going to go back?"

"I don't see why not. My suspension is nearly over, I could get back to work which I really want to do so I can stop it with this sympathetic bullshit I've been dragged into recently."

"Lucy will be really upset."

"Will she be the only one?"

"Of course not."

Sands inched closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She laid her head on his shoulder. Sands looked down at her hands as she rested her wrists on her knees.

"You know how I knew you still loved me, that first time we were near each other in my car? The day we started our affair?" He asked.

"How?"

"By that." He pointed to her wrist where the Tiffany's bracelet still sat. "You were wearing it out in the open then and you're still wearing it. I haven't seen you take it off since I gave it to you."

"I haven't. I probably won't if I can help it."

Sands kept looking down at the bracelet, not understanding how he could want something so badly but at the same time, knew it was for the best not to have it and his common sense was prevailing. That had rarely happened. Before, if he had wanted something then he would take it. He couldn't do that with her. There'd always be something waiting to ruin them.

It was then that Sands remember something. It was hazy at first but it slowly crept back into his memory.

"_CIA can't do anything if we make it official."_

_"Official?" _

_"You know, get hitched, tied down, mister and missus."_

_"You want to get married?" _

_"If we did it while we're outside their control, they couldn't do nothing about it. We should just do it, just get married so no one could get in the way."_

The memory made him tense up immediately. Had he actually done that? Surely he was misremembering this or it was a dream.

_It had to have been a dream, I would never propose to her._

_Except I'm ninety-nine percent positive that I did._

_Oh Christ._

"Sands?" Charlie frowned when he stood up quickly and her head nearly hit the porch from the sudden lack of support. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just…I need to go."

"Now? You're leaving now?"

Sands looked down at her and Charlie couldn't help but feel that he was scrutinising her though she had no idea why.

"Sands?"

"I'm going to go."

"Back to Virginia?" She stood up.

"I think…That's where I need to go. I just need time to be alone, just myself. And Buster, you know…"

Charlie looked at him in confusion. "Buster's here."

"Wait, you have Buster?"

"Of course. He's asleep up in my room. Where did you think I would leave him?"

"Why didn't you give him to me before?" Sands asked angrily.

"He's fine, don't worry."

"He'd be fine with me, not in some unfamiliar place with someone he doesn't know."

"Is this about Riley? You don't want Riley near your dog?"

"This is about the fact that Buster is my dog. He should be with me."

"You left him in Virginia to drive down here early. You weren't very considerate of him then."

"Give me back my dog."

Charlie had always planned to give Buster back to him but was now feeling a little indignant at Sands' constant reiteration that Buster was his and his alone. The way she saw it, she'd been caring more for Buster in the last year than Sands had. "You're getting into a car and driving hours in the boiling heat and you want to stick a dog in there? At least here, there's a huge back garden for him to run around in. Why send him back to an apartment? I can take him back when I go home."

"Charlie, Buster is my dog. He was given to me."

"I gave him to you. Then you gave him to me."

"Then you gave him back."

"Then you left him at my place and left the state."

"You threw me out!"

"Do you really think I wouldn't have given him to you if you had come by before you left?"

"You won't give him back to me now!"

"I would if you were staying but you have to admit that in the summer, it would be better for Buster to be able to run around in grass and sunshine than to be cooped up in an apartment all day while you go to work. What if you get sent out of the country? He'll get shoved into a kennel again? Admit it, if I was in Virginia, you'd be giving him to me anyway."

Sands didn't want to admit any of that, even if it was true. "You just…I can't…He's…You really make my blood boil, you know that?"

Charlie didn't reply. She had just been struck with a very interesting thought.

"Charlie?" He frowned when she didn't reply. He saw her looking deep in thought before her eyes widened. "What? What I say?"

"Oh my God, you're a genius! No, wait, no you're not. I'm a genius. I'm a genius and I am going to save your father. I gotta do some research for tomorrow but good talk, we should do it again some time." She babbled before hurrying into the house.

Sands was still frowning in confusion as he was left standing alone on the porch.

"Should we?"

The next morning, Sands decided to make his way to the hospital again, just to see what had gotten Charlie so excited.

He completely missed his family's meeting with Charlie though as he was too busy yelling at Lucy.

"What were you doing even talking to her?"

"I like talking to her." Lucy defended. "And I didn't know she wasn't allowed know about the house, I thought she'd like hearing that about you."

"Christ, would you stop trying to shove Charlie and I together?" He said. "This shit does not work in real life. You cannot try and manipulate things behind the scenes and through some light manipulation, have us back together. Life does not work that way."

"Except that if there hadn't been a problem with you going behind her back in the first place, I bet that totally would have worked."

"I did not give dad the house so Charlie would think it's impressive. She did not come into my mind when I made that decision."

"Isn't that the reason she was mad at you?"

Sands looked at his sister tiredly.

"What? It's the truth."

"You don't know the truth because I don't tell you anything. No one should tell you anything. You use the information for evil."

"I do not! I didn't mean for Charlie to get mad!"

"You shouldn't have been speaking to her in the first place! You're not supposed to know her!"

"I was speaking to my father's doctor, that's allowed."

"And what if someone had overheard you two? What would happen then?"

"No one did."

"Luckily!"

Lucy's shoulders sagged in defeat. "Fine, I won't talk to Charlie anymore and I won't say anything. I just thought it'd be good for her to know what a nice thing you did."

"I don't do nice things." He said.

"Yes, you did. What else do you call giving up property so I could go to college someday and didn't have to drop out of school?"

"Lucy, I do not do nice things, not for you or anybody else."

"But you do."

"Lucy…"

"I'm not going to say any different."

"I could strangle you right now."

"But you won't." She smirked.

"No but I will tell my job to stop footing for dad's medical bills."

Her smirk dropped. "You would do that because I teased you?"

"I would do that for so much less."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, you're not nice."

"That's better."

She walked past him into the hospital but Sands stopped her.

"Listen kid, I didn't just come here to kill you though the thought is tempting."

Lucy frowned. "Why are you here then? It's definitely not to see dad."

"No, I figured I should tell you that I'm going home."

Her face fell. "Home? As in Virginia?"

"Yeah, I'm going today."

"But...You can't." She said. "Things are finally working out. Dad is getting the help he needs and we're getting out of debt, mom is finally accepting that I-"

"Lucy, Charlie's staying here so she will continue to be his doctor and he'll still get help. Mom can't do anything now that you definitely do have dyslexia and I can't stay here to fix their problems. They're adults."

"What about me?"

Sands shrugged. "You'll be fine."

"Is this because of Charlie? Because she's mad at you?"

"This isn't because of Charlie." He lied. "This is because there's no reason for me to stay and I gotta get back to work. I'm just going to get my dog back from her and then I'm going."

Lucy looked at him angrily. "Fine. Go. It's not like you give a damn about any of us anyway."

She turned and stormed back into the hospital and Sands sighed before following her in.

"You just missed the doctor." Clora said when they got to rest of the family.

"Of course I did." Sands nodded, planning to leave now if that was the case.

"She's come up with some new way to help your father, hot chemotherapy. I've never heard of it."

"Really? Even with all that medical knowledge of yours?"

"Apparently," Darryl spoke to cut the tension. "By using a hot chemotherapy to bathe dad's organs, it can be more effective at destroying the cancer cells while leaving the normal cells alone."

Now Sands understood what about her making his blood boil could have sparked her recent fervour.

_Oh God, does that mean I inadvertently helped my dad?_

_I hope not._

"I'm gonna catch up with the doctor, see what she has to say."

He left the waiting room and found Charlie filling out a chart at the nurses' station.

"Hot chemotherapy? Please don't tell me you give him chemo in skimpy lingerie."

Charlie looked around quickly to make sure no one heard him before focusing on him. "First of all, don't be too casual around me. Second of all, don't be an ass and last of all, hot chemotherapy is my wonderful burst of inspiration which you will not ruin for me." She smiled smugly.

"First of all, we're supposed to know each other, remember? Everyone knows we work together. Speaking casually is allowed."

"Yeah, I wouldn't say that. I still don't want you talking to me."

"So what is this new burst of genius exactly?"

"Basically, I heat the chemotherapy solution to one-hundred and twelve degrees and pump it right into the cancerous area in your father's body. The heated solution works at destroying the cancer cells quickly and softening the cells so the tumour. It usually only started out being used on abdominal cancers but more recently, people have started trying it on lung cancers, ones that are far along. I'm sure it will work on your father."

"I thought there was some new treatment your oncologist friend recommended?"

"It's more risky and takes longer to work. This is what I'm going with."

"If the other one is more risky, shouldn't you use it?"

Charlie looked at him tiredly.

"Okay, so you give him the solution and then what?"

"Well usually what happens is the doctor performs surgery and then the chemo is given but what I'm going to do is lavage your father's organs with the solution and then perform surgery, remove your father's lung. Only part of it if it's possible."

"Will that work?"

"Hopefully."

"But it's still a risk?" Sands perked up.

Charlie closed the chart and looked at him. "Not with me."

"What about your panic attacks? Can you do surgery?"

"I'm fine. Everything's fine. Why are you trying to find ways to make this not work?"

"Guess."

"Well nothing you say or do will work. I've got this all organised and nothing is going to ruin this wonderful day."

Sands frowned. "You do realise you just cursed yourself by saying that?"

Charlie sighed. "Yeah, yeah I did. Damnit."

"Hey, maybe my dad will take a turn for the worst." He perked up again.

"You're the worst."

"Well you'll be happy to know I'm going. Now."

That did seem to dampen her mood. "You are?"

"Once I get Buster back."

She rolled her eyes. "You seriously don't think a big open space where he can run around in the sun would be better for him than being cooped up in your apartment during summer and on his own while you're at work? What if you get sent out of the country?"

"Mac, he's my dog."

She didn't look happy but she shrugged. "I'll call Riley and tell him that you're on your way to get him."

"Good. I'll see you when you get back."

"A few months from now?"

"If that's when you get back to Virginia because there's not a cat in hell's chance I'm coming back here ever again."

"Well then, I guess there's nothing left to say."

With that in mind, Sands left the hospital.

* * *

"Here you go."

Sands took the dog off Riley without a word. He turned to go to his car before Riley spoke again.

"I'll keep her safe."

Sands looked back at him. "Damn right you will because if I find out that she even gets a paper cut and I will kill you. I will set you on fire."

Riley sighed and nodded. "Of course you will but then again, I'm number one for a reason so you probably couldn't if you tried."

Sands raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just pointing that out." Riley said. "Don't threaten me. But like I said, I'll keep her safe."

He shut the door.

Sands went back to his car, putting Buster in the back seat before getting in himself and driving off. He had been driving for a few hours and it was now late night when he got a phone call from a very upset Lucy.

"You have to come back."

He frowned. "What? Lucy, no. I'm halfway back to Virginia. I'm not coming back because Clora is acting like a bitch or Wyatt's pissing everyone off. Stand up for yourself or just walk away."

"It's not that. It's not anything like that. Sheldon…"

"What?" He rolled his eyes as she cried into the phone. "What's wrong?"

Lucy sniffled as she tried to reply.

"Dad…He's dead."

* * *

**Sorry for the long wait, this chapter took a bit of work. Hopefully it worked though!  
**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


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